Personal Narrative

Personal Narrative Sample 1

First Name Last Name

Composition I

Personal Narrative

02 February 2015

Moving to America

Who would have thought that five years ago I lived another life in Russia. It was a typical Russian lifestyle, but for me it was not enough. I spent countless nights wondering how I could change my life. In 2006 I had to decide between leaving my native country of Russia where my family and friends lived and moving to America where I could learn English and meet a man whom would appreciate my ambitions, and I chose to move to America, where all my dreams came true; I even now have a wonderful daughter which made the decision even more worth it .

Looking back, I can recall several reasons why I considered leaving Russia. First, I always wanted to speak English like the actors in my favorite English movies and understand them without subtitles. I wanted to understand the English songs from my favorite radio stations. At the time, it just sounded like a stream of unfamiliar words. I tried to learn English in elementary school and even at my Russian University, but I felt my progression became stagnant. Because I had no one to practice with, I was not making the kind of progress I was hoping for. Therefore, moving to America would give me the opportunity to dive into an English-speaking environment and receive first-hand knowledge of English.

Furthermore , many of the people from my hometown looked at me differently because I was a woman with lofty ambitions. I realized I simply outgrew the place I was born. Because I was an ambitious girl in Russia, it was very difficult to find a decent young man whom shared a similar outlook on life. Russian men looked at me warily, and for them it was much easier to find a simple girl who just wants to get married and live a typical  boring life. Therefore, I thought living in America would help me find a husband in whom I could share my dreams and ambitions.

Despite the benefits of moving to America, the decision was not easy for me because I would be leaving everyone and everything I have ever know, including my mother, whom is my best friend and always supports me in all my endeavors. I would miss her cakes that melted in my mouth and reminded me of childhood vacations at our cozy little summer home where I dyed the walls with my own hands in pink-peach paint. I would miss waking up each morning to the familiar sounds of birds chirping and children's voices from the kindergarten, which could be heard from the 6th floor of my apartment. I would miss my best friends whom I have known since childhood and the times they would come over at night seeking my advice. I would be leaving all my relatives and friends, and I was very much afraid I wouldn't be able to find new friends in America.

Because I knew all of these great people would support my decision and have my best interest in mind, I decided to trudge forward , but the next step proved difficult: I had to acquire a visa. The first time I applied for the visa I was denied, and I was given little reasoning. "You did not provide proper evidence that you are a good enough candidate for a visa," the immigration officer stated.

"What's the matter officer?” I exclaimed, “What did I do wrong? Give me one more chance!" I pleaded.

"You can try again next year, sorry,” said the officer. 

I was very upset, but I decided not to give up. I applied year after year. Two years later, after my third attempt, I finally heard the sacred words from the immigration officer, "Anastasia, your visa has been approved!" I immediately began saving every ruble I earned for my long journey to America. Eight months later, after I had finally saved enough money for my ticket, I took the long-awaited journey that changed my life!

Five years after my arrival, I can say the journey has been hard, but I do not regret a second of my decision. I have learned English well through American living and several English classes. I also met my wonderful husband not long after I moved to America, and we have a beautiful daughter, so I am happy to share a life with someone whom has similar drives. I still, of course, miss all the family and friends I left behind, but I have made many new friends and some of my relatives have recently moved to America. Although, many of the dreams I had while living in Russia have come true,  I still have a lot more work to do. My next goal is to own my own business and truly live the American Dream. Only making the correct choice to leave Russia and move to America could have made all of this possible.

 Good thesis that details the two options, whether or not the student believes he or she made the right choice, and why.

 Good use of transitions.

 Use a comma between two or more equally important adjectives. There is a two-part test for coordinate adjectives:

(1) Can you replace the comma with the word and?

(2) Can you reverse the order of the adjectives and keep the same meaning?

 

If you can do both, then you have coordinate adjectives and need a comma between.

 The student’s decision appears near the end of the essay.

 Good organization of dialogue with each new speaker on a new line.

 Introductory bits, such as words and phrases, can be confusing. First, confusion can occur when an introductory word that can stand on its own is actually the first word of an introductory phrase. Please note, though, that you can have two introductory words, phrases, or a combination one after another. And in a third scenario, failure to identify an introductory word or phrase in some sentences by placing a comma after it can lead to a sentence fragment. See below.

 

Incorrect: Although, he voted Republican, he used to stand behind many Democratic beliefs.

Correct: Although he voted Republican, he used to stand behind many Democratic beliefs.

 

Correct: When he left for the polling station, even though he was sure of his decision just yesterday, something about the ride there made him consider other candidates.

Correct: Although, even though he voted Republican, he used to stand behind many Democratic beliefs.

 

Incorrect: Although he may eventually vote Republican. (Fragment)

Correct: Although, he may eventually vote Republican. (Complete Sentence)

 

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/03/ https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/607/

Last modified: Wednesday, May 18, 2016, 11:13 AM