Descriptive Paragraph
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descriptive_paragraph_sample.docxDescriptive Paragraph Sample
Last Name 1
First Name Last Name
English Composition 1
Descriptive Paragraph
02 February 2015
Descriptive Paragraph
Shocked at the magnitude of Israel and Gala War damage, I noticed the untidiness and instability, dusty aroma, deafening silence, acrid taste and brutal chill from the lack of presence. Walking into the living room, the house and the area emitted a sense of darkness. Right away, an enormous gaping wall in front of me on the left wall captures my attention. A hexagonal infrastructure is leaning against the house I am in, right beside the broken wall. The sofas scattered around the room have all lost their vibrant colors and are covered in layers of dust. Fallen picture frames rest on the sofa on the right side of the room. Due to the presence of dust in the air, breathing it in is inevitable. In addition, taking a large gulp of air, I get a huge burst of dust into my lungs. The atmosphere of the city and room is silent because they both severely lack any sort of presence. The people that once resided either died or ran away. Walking up to the broken wall, I notice my vision captures several rotting corpses scattering the street below, answering my previous wonderment. Upon viewing the corpses, I sense bile rise to my throat, leaving an acrid taste. Suddenly, nothing could be more deafening than the sounds of war guns and bombs that break the silence that war unapologetically left. The assault on my senses as a result of this was not a pleasurable experience.
Oops, the header is not inside the top one inch margin.
What is a title that is unique to your essay and opinion? Helpful source: http://umanitoba.ca/student/academiclearning/media/Writing_a_Great_Title_NEW.pdf
What is a title that is unique to your essay and opinion? Helpful source: http://umanitoba.ca/student/academiclearning/media/Writing_a_Great_Title_NEW.pdf
Good thesis, which should also act as a topic sentence for this paragraph, that addresses each of the five senses.
This is a dangling modifier. A subject must follow the phrase that modifies it. For example:
CORRECT:
Having finished the assignment, Jill (<--subject that the previous phrase modifies) turned on the TV.
INCORRECT:
Having finished the assignment, the TV (<--incorrect because "the TV" is not the one who "finished the assignment") was turned on.
Good directional transitions.
Use "who" or "whom" to refer to people. “Who” and “whoever” are subjective pronouns; “whom” and “whomever” are in the objective case. That simply means that “who” (and the same for “whoever”) is always subject to a verb, and that “whom” (and the same for “whomever”) is always working as an object in a sentence. As a ready check in such sentences, simply substitute the personal pronoun “he/him” or “she/her” for “who/whom.” If he or she would be the correct form, the proper choice is who.” If “him” or “her” would be correct, use “whom.” Even when the word order must be altered slightly, you can use the technique: 1. Mrs. Dimwit consulted an astrologer whom she met in Seattle. (She met him in Seattle.) 2. Jones is the man whom I went fishing with last spring. (I went fishing with him.) 3. Joyce is the girl who got the job. (She got the job.) 4. Whom can we turn to in a time of crisis? (Can we turn to her?) See more tips: http://web.ku.edu/~edit/whom.html
Good concluding sentence that summarizes the assignment’s objectives.
Remember, the photo’s URL is required.
Last modified: Wednesday, May 18, 2016, 11:04 AM
