case study

My Leadership Story

Student Sample

Mgmt-464

Crucibles of Leadership

May 2nd, 2012

After reading the Crucibles of Leadership article, I knew exactly what event made me a better leader, but I also know that I have been a “natural” leader since I can remember. I remember being in preschool and leading the class, at one point the teachers there told my parents how bright I was and I would make a great teacher as an adult. While I did not become a teacher by profession, I seem to continually teach and lead people every day. While I agree with the authors that there is a crucible event in your life, I do think that some people have something about them that allows them to lead others well, without a crucible event and I feel I am one of those. Leading is my passion, I love to do it and feel best when I am doing it, and this is my reason for the pursuit of my degree, so that I can be a leader at work and in my personal life.

What was the “crucible” experience or event and how did it change or transform you?

My crucible occurred when I was sixteen years old. I was a junior in high school and everything in my life was planned for the most part. I had a serious boyfriend and began to skip school on a pretty regular basis. My grades were suffering and while I was not failing any courses, I was not doing the best I could do.

It was the day after Christmas when my friend “X” and I were staying the night with each other, talking and gabbing, and I had informed her that I was late for my period. After much discussion we had decided that it would be best if I went and got a pregnancy test. So at 12am we went to Rite Aid and bought a box of pregnancy tests. The first one came out negative, but I still had the other one in the box so I thought I would test again just to be sure. I tested again that same night and it was positive. I was in shock, everything I knew was not the same, and the worst part was that I was going to have to tell my parents.

The next day I went home, and I could not hold it back, I began to cry and told my Mom that I was pregnant. I was worried she would punish me or kick me out of the house, but she did not, she began to cry and told me everything would be ok. My Mother told my Father, and eventually everyone in the house was supporting me. My parents who are devote devout Christians did not let me even contemplate the idea of abortion and stated that I needed to deal with the choice I had made. I told my long-term boyfriend and he too was supportive and told me “We will just take it one day at a time.” So with all of that, I decided to just continue my life as it had been. But now I was more motivated, I knew that I was going to have something I needed to support and care for and that skipping class and getting bad grades was not going to help. I began to go to school every day and did very well, yet I had not told anyone except my friend “X” about the pregnancy and I was much too embarrassed to tell anyone.

It wasn’t until the day that I saw another girl at school, that I had never seen before and she was pregnant and there she was not trying to hide anything, wearing maternity clothes and visible to everyone that she was pregnant. I decided then that by not showing I was pregnant was a way to deny my child; at that moment I decided that the next day I would stop wearing my normal clothes that I could hardly even button anymore, and I would go to school in maternity clothes for everyone to see.

The next day I pulled up my elastic topped maternity pants and put on a stretchy maternity shirt and went to school. Within 30 minutes of arriving I could hear the whispers around me. Finally someone asked, “ Y”, are you pregnant?” I said “Yes”, and that did it, I had told everyone that I was pregnant. Everyone I knew, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and all the people I knew at school, now knew that I was pregnant.

I finished my junior year of high school and had my daughter the day before my senior year started. Luckily our high school had a program for teen moms and offered daycare and high school credits. I graduated from high school a term early and soon realized that while my experience of being a teen mom was hard and very challenging, I had done it. I graduated high school and went to college immediately after and graduated from community college with an associate in health occupations and my certificate as a medical assistant. I got a job right after graduation with Providence Medical Group, and after three years decided I wanted to get my bachelors degree. I went back to school and I am now finishing my bachelors degree and hope to start on my MBA in a year. I do realize that what I did was difficult, but I did not know until recently that only 1% of teen parents get their bachelors degree. After knowing that statistic I realize how much I overcame with the situation I was given.

This has made me a better leader because I now know I can do anything I set my mind to. I also feel that what I have done is admirable and something that others can look up to. I often get compliments of how I am super woman or if I can do it why can’t others who don’t have even close to the same circumstances. While I don’t have the answer, I do know that there is drive within me, that is not used or acknowledged by others from what I see and that may be what makes me different.

What was the impact of this experience on your values and/or beliefs?

I have learned more from this crucible experience than any other event in my life, not just the lessons you learn as a parent but also the lessons I learned from the experience of being a teen parent. In the last two weeks I have learned that I developed a condition where my fertility is close to non-existent and my chances of having more kids is very slim. While this is not the best news for me, I now believe that everything really does happen for a reason. If I had not had my daughter at 17, I would have not of ever had kids as I developed this condition in my adult years.

It also made me realize that the hardest part about the task at hand is showing up. Throughout my life as a teen mom, I realized all I have to do is show up and the rest will fall into place. When I went to school, w/ an infant showing up was the hardest part, after that I got the work done and finished school. When I had to find a way to go to school and show my pregnancy to everyone, showing up in those maternity clothes was the hardest part. If you can make that first step you will find the footing for the rest of your steps.

I also learned that when you put your mind to something you can do anything, as happened with me with all the challenges I faced and still face as a parent and a human. Overall I have learned a lot and will always learn a lot from my experience; it is something that will continuously shape who I am.

What assumptions about leadership were made and/or challenged?

I always thought that being a teen parent was going to make me “white trash” or a “welfare case”. I never thought that this experience would actually encourage others and make others realize that with the worst of circumstances you can make the best of anything. So in that sense my assumption that I couldn’t be anything because I was always going to be perceived as “white trash” or a “welfare case” was challenged and I believe I proved it to be false.

The fact that I overcame the challenges that I was placed with actually inspire others to do the same, something that I did not think would ever come from my experience. Many people have told me, if you can complete school full-time, work full-time and be a single parent, there’s no reason why I can’t. The fact that I faced my challenges head on and conquered them; actually makes others perceive me to be a better leader because I am leading by example.

What impact did this experience have on your view and approach to leadership?

This crucible experience has impacted the way I approach leading by realizing that everyone has a story. There is a reason why everyone acts the way that they act, a story behind that person that I may not know or do know and it’s important for me to think about that before making any judgments or assumptions.

I also view that because of my experience, I realize that I can accomplish anything and as a leader I may be put in difficult situations that I literally will have to do one step at a time. During these hard times I think back to my life as a 17 year old with a new born baby and how every day I just put one step in front of another and got the job done.

As far as my approach to being a leader, I feel that my crucible event made me a better leader. As I said before I have always felt that I have some type of natural leader instinct within me, but with my crucible experience I feel that I can lead by example more. I think I now have more empathy and understanding. This has changed my approach to being more open to ideas and suggestions. I think I also take criticism very well now as I have been criticized so much in the past.

I have a vision of being a motivational speaker to teen parents or going to high schools to talk about the challenges involved with being a teen parent. Something I would have never thought I could do. Overall I guess my approach on leadership has changed quite a lot because of my crucible event.

What skills and/or strengths did you discover you had and/or did you develop as a result of your crucible event/experience?

The skills/strengths that I discovered I had because of my crucible event are really endless. The whole aspect of being a parent and leading by example is something that was completely new to me. After I had my daughter I realized that the better I did in this world the better she would do. So everything that I did for myself I also considered to be doing for her, as it would benefit me now and benefit her down the road. For example going to school, I never thought I would graduate with my bachelors degree. After realizing that the higher I go in my education the better chances she has of going just as high or higher in her education, I realized that school was not an option but necessity. I now feel that she has seen me go through school and the difficulties associated with it, but she also realizes that I did it and she saw me go through it, which I hope will help her when she is going through college.

I’ve gained patience and understanding for others and people. I am now able to handle issues calmly and with clearer thought. I also have developed the ability to achieve anything I set my mind to. I have little doubt in myself and without sounding cocky I know I can really do anything I set my mind to.

I also feel that I have a self confidence and I am not embarrassed by what I am because I am not a “welfare case” and have really accomplished a lot given my circumstances. I think when I tell people about this they gain a respect for me and are more willing to collaborate with me.

Overall I think the skills/strengths that I have learned and gained from my crucible event will last me a lifetime. I think I will always use these not only as a parent but as a professional.

Summarize by discussing what leadership means to you and your definition of leadership.

Leadership to me is someone who others can look up to and respect. A lot of times I feel that this respect or admiration comes from the fact that the leader has done something that no one else did. When we look at great leaders they are people who put themselves through hard times for the benefit of others. Leaders are not the individuals who say nothing to no one and do nothing for anyone. They are the people that say something when they feel something is wrong or right, or do something when they do not like what is happening.

Leadership is not just about a natural internal gift you are given, while I feel that many great leaders have something inside of them that is different that sets them aside. It is also about the actions that they take. Do they choose the easy way or the hard route? Do they see things from a single lens or look through many lenses to get a good perspective? These are things that set leaders apart from non-leaders. People who do things or say things not because they are told to or have to, but because they don’t want to be the same as everyone else, they want to be different and not follow the heard herd; they want to do things that sets the standard for those around them.

Leaders also need to share their tribulations with those around them. People would not look up to me as much had they not known the troubles I went through. Knowing my issues and my troubles helps others realize the depths that you came from to arise to where you are now.

These things make a great leader to me, and is what I aspire to be in my life.