re-write 1
Advice Overview
We will discuss the following strategies that can help you to strengthen your paper:
· Providing a more comprehensive introduction that clarifies the scope of your paper
· Ensuring that each of your paraphrases is cited correctly to avoid accidental plagiarism
· Providing more specific evidence for some of your claims to more effectively support your argument
· Defining key terms
· Using APA style correctly
· Addressing some sentence level issues
Please note that I will include text from the original draft in blue, and any suggestions that I add will be in green.
Although we will cover revisions and rules, your professor’s instructions always take precedence over any advice you receive from the EWC. If you have any questions, refer to your assignment guidelines first and don’t hesitate to ask your professor to clarify any unanswered questions.
Assignment Management
Thank you for submitting the assignment requirements. Our goal is to ensure that your paper meets your professor’s assignment requirements as closely as possible, so this information is a big help!
Below is a table with an overview of your assignment, what you have completed, and what you need to fulfill the requirements.
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Assignment Requires |
You Have |
You Need |
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Identify ethical issues that arise in domestic and global business environments using an understanding of ethical concepts and of legal and business principles.
Develop and evaluate alternatives to, and recommend solutions for, ethical dilemmas, taking into account ethical and legal requirements and the essential mission of the business enterprise.
Effectively communicate to internal and external business stakeholders the complexities of ethical issues, suggesting and analyzing various solutions in order to ensure appropriate business practices and accountability. |
A paper that addresses these three areas, but see some suggestions. |
You fulfill these requirements, but your introduction should better clarify that you will cover potential solutions and recommendations in your paper. |
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Third person writing is required. Third person means that there are no words such as “I, me, my, we, or us” (first person writing), nor is there use of “you or your” (second person writing). |
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You fulfill these requirements. |
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Do not use contractions and do not quote. Instead, paraphrase. |
I did not notice any contractions, and you do paraphrase instead of quote. However, please see my comments on paraphrasing |
To ensure that each of your paraphrases is accurately cited. |
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Create a document that is double-spaced, 12-point font. The final product will be between 6-8 pages in length excluding the title page and reference page. |
You fulfill these requirements, but see some suggestions. |
You don’t need to add length for the sake of adding length, but see my suggestions on adding more specific examples to better support your points. |
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Use the following format with headings: Create a title page with title, your name, the course, the instructor’s name and date; Introduction Ethical Dilemma; Potential Resolution(s); Recommendation of Dilemma |
A paper that begins with an introduction, rather than a title page. |
To include a title page that matches your instructor’s directions. |
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Use APA Style (to create in-text citations and a reference list) |
A paper that uses APA style correctly in many ways. |
See some suggestions for using APA style. |
Thesis & Organization
Goals:
· Articulate your thesis, argument, main idea, and/or purpose clearly.
· Organize your document or presentation in a manner that promotes understanding.
Your paper offers a thesis about the ethical dilemma of the misuse of power in business, thereby posing a relevant argument. However, your introduction paragraph could more thoroughly expand on the ideas developed in your paper. You write:
Introduction
Within a working environment, there are a number of issues which arise and need ethical considerations to be looked into and therefore the need for policies to be set up to curb such issues. An issue which has been rampant across multiple organizations is the issue of misuse of power. Many officials within top positions have been reported to make use of their power in the wrong means where they have at times threated employees under them among other issues. Also, they might take advantage of their power to control the staffing process where they push for candidates of their suggestion to be employed within an organization (Staples, 2016).
Your introduction appropriately established the idea of the ethical dilemma your paper will cover, but it does not provide a brief overview of the potential solutions and recommendations that your paper will explore in relation to this dilemma. Including this information in your introduction will help you better clarify the scope of your paper (and illustrate to your instructor that your paper fulfills the assignment requirements).
Otherwise, the flow of your ideas is logical. Nice work on organization!
Development & Research
Goals:
· Develop coherent paragraphs, points, and/or sections so that each is internally unified and functions as a part of your entire document or presentation.
· Tailor your communications to the audience.
· Provide sufficient support for your ideas
· Integrate material from research (if required) smoothly into your own content.
In terms of your research, you do use citations to support some of your paraphrases, which is good! However, there are some paragraphs that lack citations. These paragraphs seem as if they might be paraphrasing another source – that is, moving beyond your own analysis of an issue and using outside research to back their claims. For example, you write:
Within an office setting, an executive can manipulate the staffing process to favor a candidate they are affiliated with. Normally, this happens where individuals try to help friends, family and other people they are affiliated with get access into an organization so that they can be able to achieve some sort of financial freedom or other personal growth and for the individual to have some sense of personal gratification in some cases.
Power however has positive aspects where it can be used to encourage productivity. For example, in some organizations, the decision-making process is involving of all employees within the organization. Also, executives can make use of their power to reward employees for strong performance and for exemplary performing employees, they can be given a pay raise or a promotion in their status within the organization. Positive use of power within an organization helps build strong working relationships, increase motivational levels for employees and for overall growth to be achieved within the organization.
Looking at the above paragraphs, you should consider if any outside sources helped you come to these conclusions? In other words, did you paraphrase your research in order to develop these ideas? If so – that’s a good thing! It shows that you are joining a wider conversation about your topic, considering others’ ideas as you develop your argument. However, if you’ve paraphrased at all, you’ll want to cite your sources in APA style. (Please see more on APA style below).
In relation to the above suggestion, when developing your paragraphs, try to follow this pattern:
1) Claim – the topic sentence (the main argument of your paragraph)
2) Evidence (the specific example or outside research used to support the claim, appropriately cited).
3) Analysis (your interpretation of the evidence, as it relates back to the main idea of the paragraph and your thesis).
If you don’t make clear that you applying step 2 (with a citation), your work could be considered plagiarism.
Proofread the rest of your paper to ensure that you properly cite outside research.
You can also work to provide more specific examples to better support your claims. For instance, you write:
People in power can take advantage of their position to harass employees by posing threats to them if certain demands are not met among other factors. In past situations, misuse of power has led to employees being harassed sexually, physically and psychologically with them failing to report such cases since there have not been bodies and policies in place to address issues of such occurrences.
The highlighted section would be improved if you clarified a specific past situation in which this dynamic occurred. Otherwise, your evidence doesn’t seem all that grounded, as your reader is left wondering in exactly what circumstances such events have taken place.
Proofread the rest of your paper for evidence that could be better specified. Doing so will help you provide better support for your paper and make your argument more convincing.
Finally, you’ll also want to make sure that you provide relevant definitions for any terms that you introduce. For instance, you write:
Leaders also need to understand and be taught on how to become servant leaders. In being servant leaders, they are able to have a deeper understanding of issues which employees are faced with and therefor they are in a better position to address the issues and protect employees from issues stemming from misuse of power.
You do appropriately clarify how being a servant leader helps leaders address issues of power abuse. However, before launching into this assertion, you should briefly define what a servant leader is. That way, your reader will have an even better understanding of how servant leaders are able to develop a deeper understanding of the issues that you point out.
Formatting & Citations
Goals:
· Format paper according to the rules of required style.
· Cite sources according to the rules of your required style.
Your instructor has asked you to use APA style. Please find available a great guide to APA formatting (in text citations and your References Page)-Purdue OWL.
You’ll want to proofread your paper so that your in-text citations and References page conforms to APA style. Please follow this link to find an example APA paper (on Purdue OWL).
For example, when you cite an outside source in your paper, you write:
Also, they might take advantage of their power to control the staffing process where they push for candidates of their suggestion to be employed within an organization (Staples, 2016).
However, to fulfill APA requirements, you’d want to put the authors last name first, followed by the year in parenthesis, and then the page number-if any-at the end in parenthesis. Thus, you’d want to write:
Also, according to Staples (2016), they might take advantage of their power to control the staffing process where they push for candidates of their suggestion to be employed within an organization (X).
Proofread the rest of your paper for correct use of APA style.
Additionally, in terms of your References page, simply make sure that you indent the second line of each source.
Grammar & Mechanics
Goals:
· Use sentence structure appropriate for your task, message, and audience.
· Follow conventions of Standard Written English.
In terms of your grammar and mechanics, I would mainly suggest making a few corrections in regards some wordy sentences (with missing words).
For example, in your introduction paragraph, you write
Within a working environment, there are a number of issues which arise and need ethical considerations to be looked into and therefore the need for policies to be set up to curb such issues.
However, to make your ideas a little easier to understand, you can proofread for sentences that rely a little too fully on prepositions (such as of, for, or to) and on the phrase “to be.” Prepositions and over use of the phrase “to be” can make your writing sound a little choppy and make it harder to digest. You can also break up wordy sentences into two sentences in order to make them clearer.
Instead, you might write:
Within a working environment, a number of issues arise that are ethically complex. Therefore, there is a need to set up policies to curb these issues.
Proofread for other wordy sentences (with missing words) throughout your paper.
Additionally, there are some run on sentences in your paper, in which two clauses that could stand on their own are connected by a comma. For instance, in your second paragraph, you write:
Historical analysis and other fields of study show that having power give an individual potential to be able to better the society however if appropriate measures and controls are not put into place, then the power can lead to conflicting issues arising.
You could break this sentence up accurately by writing:
Historical analysis and other fields of study show that having power gives an individual potential to be able to better the society. However, if appropriate measures and controls are not put into place, then the power can lead to conflicting issues.
(To further improve the sentence, I’ve also slightly altered the grammar and removed additional words at the end of the second clause).
Read your paper out loud to yourself to proofread further for run on sentences and other small sentence level errors.
Summary
Good luck! As you continue your work on this project, be sure to:
1. Provide a more comprehensive introduction that clarifies the scope of your paper
2. Ensure that each of your paraphrases is cited correctly to avoid accidental plagiarism
3. Provide more specific evidence for some of your claims to more effectively support your argument
4. Define key terms
5. Use APA style correctly
6. Address some sentence level issues
Best,
Lisa
More Resources
Copy of Your Draft
Introduction
Within a working environment, there are a number of issues which arise and need ethical considerations to be looked into and therefore the need for policies to be set up to curb such issues. An issue which has been rampant across multiple organizations is the issue of misuse of power. Many officials within top positions have been reported to make use of their power in the wrong means where they have at times threated employees under them among other issues. Also, they might take advantage of their power to control the staffing process where they push for candidates of their suggestion to be employed within an organization (Staples, 2016).
Ethical Dilemma
Historical analysis and other fields of study show that having power give an individual potential to be able to better the society however if appropriate measures and controls are not put into place, then the power can lead to conflicting issues arising. Within the work environment, there are a number of issues which arise and affect the performance of the organization as well as people within the organization. Executives and other managers if they put their power into wrong use can lead to ethical issues arising.
Within an office setting, an executive can manipulate the staffing process to favor a candidate they are affiliated with. Normally, this happens where individuals try to help friends, family and other people they are affiliated with get access into an organization so that they can be able to achieve some sort of financial freedom or other personal growth and for the individual to have some sense of personal gratification in some cases.
Power however has positive aspects where it can be used to encourage productivity. For example, in some organizations, the decision-making process is involving of all employees within the organization. Also, executives can make use of their power to reward employees for strong performance and for exemplary performing employees, they can be given a pay raise or a promotion in their status within the organization. Positive use of power within an organization helps build strong working relationships, increase motivational levels for employees and for overall growth to be achieved within the organization.
Effects
Misuse of power has been a global issue affecting different organizations to different extents. Misuse of power interferes with different ethical aspects as well as it infringing on people’s rights and freedoms. This is because in misuse of power, a person’s rights and freedoms of communication or exercising their right to something are infringed. Therefore, misuse of power goes beyond ethical considerations and extends into personal spheres therefore hindering growth and development of individuals. Individuals are also entitled to having access to equal opportunities and with people in power positions denying equal opportunities to individuals, then their rights are infringed upon (Staples, 2016).
Misuse of power within an organization leads to harassment of employees which can affect their productivity and output within an organization. People in power can take advantage of their position to harass employees by posing threats to them if certain demands are not met among other factors. In past situations, misuse of power has led to employees being harassed sexually, physically and psychologically with them failing to report such cases since there have not been bodies and policies in place to address issues of such occurrences. Also, these cases have been hushed up in organizations where power is given to as single individual therefore victims of harassment suffer in silence so that they are able to secure their job.
Employees are unable to be productive in an environment where their rights and freedoms are infringed on by an individual misusing their power. A reduction in productivity leads to a decline in returns on investment for an organization as well as it resulting in reduction in employee performance due to development of psychological effects. Therefore, both the employee and the organization at large are affected from individuals misusing their power. Customers can also be affected indirectly with them not getting value for their money for a service of a product if employees within an organization are not properly motivated to develop a product or service in line with customer requirements.
Solutions
In order to address the issue of misuse of power, there have been several books and articles written as well as there being laws defined by the constitution and others by organizations to prevent misuse of power by individuals within an organization to prevent infringement on human rights. The different publications address the issue from perspectives of human rights and freedoms and others form an ethical perspective with the cumulative result being that misuse of power is a crime against humanity (Farrior, 2016).
There is need to set up safeguards within an organization setting to prevent misuse of power being an issue interfering with operations and other crucial functioning’s of an organization. One of the safeguards which should be set up to prevent misuse of power and other resulting issues is ensuring that power is distributed and not given to a single individual. This is because when a single individual has power in their hands, there are chances that the individual will at some point be overwhelmed with the power and might not make best use of it (Pearce & Manz, 2014).
Also, in division of power among different members of the executive board within the organization helps in better decision making. This is because in sharing power, decisions are not implemented from a single point of view. In sharing power within an organization and there being a need for a certain part of the organization to concur to a decision before it is implemented ensures that an issue is addressed and all potential problems and solutions to the problems are addressed. Decisions made are also better informed with input being received from different individuals and brainstorming before implementation of a decision helps in ensuring that all perspectives are addressed.
A single individual having too much power can implement decisions as per how they favor the individual for their best interests to be met and those of the organization and others within the organization being neglected. Also, in having too much power given to a single individual, there are chances of an individual being overwhelmed by too much power with it having numerous responsibilities which they might not be able to handle effectively and efficiently. Also, historical cases have shown that individuals being given too much power have always resulted in negatives effects being observed and them misusing the power with it leading to their ruin and in some extents, it ruining aspects of lives of people around them (Pearce & Manz, 2014).
Another safeguard to set up to prevent misuse of power within an organization is to have the issue outlined and addressed within company policies. Company policies are important tools for achieving control over an organization’s functions and other aspects of an organization with them being important in creation of limits of operations and safeguards to govern activities within an organization. Company policies might approach the issue from a perspective where they might wish to handle the issue internally however in cases where the extent of the case goes beyond reasonable boundaries, there is need for organizations to involve judicial systems for justice to be achieved.
Also, some laws have been set up in different states with them affecting and giving controls to how power is used by an individual within a company in order to safeguard others from misuse of power. The laws set up are usually in line with human rights and freedoms regulations with them putting extents to how much power can be used and protecting individuals from having power being used to undermine them and other negative effects which are as a result of power being misused. These laws put in ethical considerations and other aspects of creation of laws to come up with suitable laws for implementation (Farrior, 2016).
There are also movements, unions and groups which have been set up for purposes of addressing issues related to misuse of power and safeguards to protect people from the effects of such actions. Members of these groups are usually former employees who have seen oppression and other issues stemming from poor management and misuse of power within organizations. These are set up to address the issues and to prevent their occurrence to ensures that there is equal treatment within an organization. Also, these fight for rights of individuals while searching for equality (Staples, 2016).
Judicial systems also have set up measures and safeguard to protect people from the effects of misuse of power by punitive measures being set up to control and prevent the effects from being widespread. The judicial process can be entailed within company policies where if a person is found to have carried out operations in the organization’s name and misused their position to gain an advantage over others, they are subjected to being dealt with by the judicial system.
Recommendations
There is need for different approaches to be developed to address issues of oppression and harassment, unequal treatment and other issues which stem from misuse of power within organizations. Also, there is need for safeguards to be set up to protect people from the different outcomes of misuse of power to make the working environment productive. Organizations irrespective of their size should have a board for management and distribution of power so that selfish interests are not put in place in controlling business operations and other aspects of the organization.
Also, there is need for observation of ethics and other laws which protect employees from harassment by employers. Company policies and laws protecting employees from oppression from misuse of power need to be designed with them revolving around such principles to ensure that they are protected from the effects of such occurrences (Budd, 2014).
Leaders also need to understand and be taught on how to become servant leaders. In being servant leaders, they are able to have a deeper understanding of issues which employees are faced with and therefor they are in a better position to address the issues and protect employees from issues stemming from misuse of power. This enables leaders to relate to the issues and have deeper understanding of the effects and therefore enables them to develop strategies to address the issues (Williams, 2017).
Conclusions
Misuse of power is an issue which affects individuals and the society at large. In the event a person makes use of their power within society, an organization or other power position, the entire society is affected since operations are implemented to work as per the desires and expected outcomes of a single individual instead of them resulting in a societal expected outcome which is mutually benefit for all. This issue in past situations did not have safeguards and therefore the reason as to why it was rampant. Development in business operations and other aspects of organizational management such as division of power, implementation of policies and safeguards to protect employees have led to the workplace being an environment to facilitate for development and protection from propagation of such issues.
References
Budd, J. W. (2014). Implicit public values and the creation of publicly valuable outcomes: The importance of work and the contested role of labor unions. Public Administration Review, 74(4), 506-516.
Farrior, S. (2016). Hate Propaganda and International Human Rights Law.
Pearce, C. L., & Manz, C. C. (2014). The leadership disease... and its potential cures. Business Horizons, 57(2), 215-224.
Staples, L. (2016). Roots to Power: A Manual for Grassroots Organizing: A Manual for Grassroots Organizing. ABC-CLIO.
Williams, B. N. (2017). Linking theory with practice: Examining the case of servant leadership and community policing. Public Voices, 5(1-2), 67-72.