creative writing 101

he fact, that I can’t really remember when I was truly happy. Not because of my wheelchair, the only wheelchair that I have ever had that I could really depend on was donated to the Goodwill in Saint Paul Minnesota. I had always wanted a chair like that one. The insurance companies just want to get the cheapest one that they can get by with. It really doesn’t matter what the person needs. I really like to go off the beaten path so to speak. I happened to be working at goodwill and the chair was donated. That chair took me places! In the spring and summer I would cruise all over the city. I loved it. I remember feeling as if I could fly. I honestly think that my soul and spirit did fly. After all I was doing what I loved to do and I was in love. Thirteen years ago I thought I had it all but it came crashing down on me. I had the love of my life and we were very happy and on December 23rd 2003 he had a Massive heart attack and died. Of course he was differently abled just like I am I’m in a wheelchair I have Cerebral Palsy. After he died I tried to live in that apartment that we shared while I was waiting for another wheelchair friendly apartment to come along. I couldn't wait so I thought I could come down to Kentucky and stay with my mother and grandmother for a while. To say that moving from a big city like Saint Paul Minnesota to a small town in Kentucky was a shock would be an understatement. Then I learned that my mother was sick with Parkinson’s disease from my grandma and would I be able to take care of my mother so that she would not have to be in a nursing home. I said yes without even thinking about it. Over the years my mother has grown worse. My grandma died in 2009. My mother had to have brain surgery in 2010. The brain surgery was supposed to help but the surgery didn’t help much. I started getting the idea that I would be here and That was that! There was not even a door to my room so my room was completely open and it didn’t matter who was here or what I was doing anyone and everybody could see I had no privacy I started going to the University of Phoenix I needed more room in addition to the door. I was never heard. I wrote letter after letter asking for help so far my plea for help has gone unheard. I need some fun in my life I have not been anywhere in thirteen years I am so tired of being invisible not heard, not seen, totally invisible when I graduated from University of Phoenix with a 3.76 GPA. No one even noticed! I couldn’t even attend my own graduation! Now I am attending Capella University and I am fighting a never ending battle. I really want to be heard because everything I do leads nowhere..It feels like I’m having a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.

Maybe this will help you to understand. I have been here in KY since 2004 and I started wanting to move in 2009. When my Grandma died. There is a Wal-Mart, Kmart (that is going to be closing), and J C Penney in the town I'm in. There isn’t concrete. All I can see is mud and cow poop. There aren’t any points of interests at least for me anyway, but I really didn't and don’t want to leave my mom who’s Parkinson’s disease has progressed to the point that she can’t even have a conversation. I try to talk to her and sometimes she smiles, even though I don’t know how much she understands anymore. So I have been helping her in anyway I can. I got my Bachelor degree in 2015. I am currently working on my Masters degree. In April 2015 my mom fell broke her hip. I was left in the trailer all alone in the middle of nowhere. It was horrendous being there by myself and my body grew very weary and tired. I had virtually no help and literally no company. People thought I was nuts for staying there alone, but if I hadn't stayed there I am sure that my aunt and uncle would have done away with my moms trailer. She has been in a nursing home since she broke her hip. I spent every holiday since April 2015 alone. I decided to commit suicide on Thanksgiving 2015 because I have very bad memories on Thanksgiving I was raped on Thanksgiving Day and was almost killed a long time ago, but every Thanksgiving it seems like yesterday. Needless to say I started my page on Facebook and Tumblr “Attitude is Gratitude” on Thanksgiving Day 2015. I made it past Thanksgiving and I was dreading Christmas and New Years. I made it through Christmas and the day before New Years Eve I was bending over from my wheelchair to get the phone and kept tumbling and tore ligaments and tendons in both knees. Then I ended up in the hospital New Years 2016 and ended up in same nursing home as my mom for Rehab to let my knees heal. So for three months I was ok...at the end of March when I was supposed to go” home” or back to the trailer. I went to see if I could go to the bathroom and be able to be there alone again. When I went back to the trailer there was mold and mildew all over the place. It was unlivable, we were able to pack up my clothes and the nursing home agreed that if I stayed there they would help me find a apartment. So for a couple months I had hope. At the beginning of July there was an apartment available and I was supposed to get out of nursing home, but on 20th of June. I went to get my clothes and sign my lease for my new apartment and guess what? My clothes all had mold and mildew and were very holy. The apartment doorways were not wide enough for my wheelchair to go through. So here I am still in nursing home and still not able to go anywhere without being signed out by someone else. I’m lucky I can have my computer, iPhone, iPad, and can still go to school.

Some people judge me and try to tell me that my goals aren’t legit. I’d have to disagree, because having fun and living life is a goal for me. Do they want me to have a goal or to live more Hell on earth? I don't understand what is wrong with a goal of having fun. Having dreams of moving getting away or even going to a mall I haven't been to a mall since 2004. I think I deserve a little fun. I have no idea about clothes or anything, but I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food in my belly. I don't know how much hope I have but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. So that’s where and how I have been...How're you???