Help with english reading and writing

2. What factttal inforr-nation did You learn lrom this essar'? Do vou thir-rk vou u'ould har,e learned more if the information on mumn-rification had been presented in a more serious, straightfor-ii'ard u'av? Erplain.

Focus on Writing

1. Write a stlaightfotri'arcl description, directed at :rn attdience of rnid- dle school students, of thc process of mttmmifving a bodr'. Yottl- pttt' pose is to educatc these reader-s abor-rt thc pr-t'lcess, r'niiliir-ig it sor-rnd as ir-iteresting as possiblc-.

2. Think of a process vou perform vourself-for eran-rple, creatius a perfect paltl' plavlist or using computer softu'are to edit vour pho- tos. rilrrite a set of instructions for this process.

THE DOG ATE MY FLASH DRIVE,

AND OTHER TALES ()F W()E

Carolyn Foster Segal

Carolyn Foster Segal, Professor Emerita of English at Cedar Crest Col- lege in Pennsylvania and a lecturer at Muhlenberg College, has heard practically every student excuse for handing in late papers. ln this hu- morous essay, she divides student excuses into categories. This article

originally appeared, under the title "The Dog Ate My Disk, and Other Tales of Woe," in lhe Chronicle of Higher Education, a periodical for col-

lege teachers and administrators. Before you read, think about the kinds of excuses you have given

to instructors for late work.

Taped to the door of mv office is a cartoon that features a cat erpiain- ing to l-ris feline teacl-ret, "The dog ate tnv honrelr,ork." It is intencled as a gentlr huntor'<ttrs rentinder-to nrv stuclents that I till not acccpt exctlscs fol late u,ot'k, and it, Iike thc lcngthv ri'at'nit.tg ()t1 lrlv srllabus, hiis l-rzicl absoh-rtelv no effect. \Vith a shori, ol enel's..\r and creativitr tl-rat u'or-rld be admirable if applied to the (missing) assignrnenls in question, mv stu- dents persist, uieek after rieek, semester after semester, \'ear after 1'ea; in offering exclrses about u,h): their rvork is not readr-. Those reasons fall into serreral broad categories: the famill; the best lriend, the evils of dorm life, the erils of technologr'', and the totallv bizarre.

The Family The deatl-r of the grzrnclfzither/grandrllothcl is, of collrsc, t[-re grandntother of all ercuscs. What l-reartless tezrcher u,or-t]cl clare to qurestion zr str-rdent'.s gt"iel or reracitr'? What he-artless studc'nt riould lie,,"r,ishing deatl'r or-r a revered familv nlembet-,.iust to avoid a deadline? Creative students mav u'in e\tl'a extensiols (and clal's off) ri'ith a little careful planning and fuller plot delelopment, as in the seqllence

WORD POWE,R

veracaty truthfulness

Chapter 29 Beadings for Writers

WOR,D POWER

conjure up to bring to mind

WORD POWER

adjunct an instructor at a college or uni- versity who is not a permanent staff mem- ber; any temporary employee

ol "Mr',cranclfathel-/grandmothcr is sick"; "Nou, ntv grancllather'/grand- nrolher is in the hospitzrl"; and l'ir-rallr; "We cor-rld arll scc it cotning-ntv gr-anc1 lather' / granch.not hel i s clezrcl. "

Another- favorite e\cLlse is "the far-nilr elnergencv," ii'l-ricl-r (alrvavs) goes like tl-ris: "There \\'as an en-lergencv at home, and I had to help mv familr." Its a lovelv sentinrent, one that con.iures Lrp images of Louisa Mar.A]cott's little uiomen rushing off t'ith baskets of food and copies of Pilg'irrt's Progress, but I do not understand ntv anvone n'ould turn to mv most irresponsible students in times of trouble.

The Best Friend This heartwarming concern for others ertends be'n,or-rd the familv to friends, as in, "Mv Lrest f ier-rcl \\'as Llp all night and Il-racl to (a) stziv up u'itl-r l-rer in the dor-n'r, (b) drive her to the hospital, or (c) clrivr- to l'rer-college becartse (1)her-bovh'iencl broke up u,itl-r her, (2) shc ri as throu,ing up bloocl [no or-tc catclres a colcl .rn\'nrorc; cvcl-vone throrvs trp bloocl], or' (3) her-gr-rincl['atlrer'/grar.rclmotlrer-cliecl."

At one prir,'ate univer-sitv u,her-e I ri'orkecl as atr zrd.itttrct, I hear-d ar-t interestir-rg spir-r that incorporated the nrotifs oi both best friend ar-rd clead relative: "Mv best f iend's rlother killed l'rerself." One has to admire the clevc'r-ness here: A mvsterious \\roman in the prinre ol l-rer life has al- legedlv committed sliicide, and no professor can prove othert'ise! And I admit I rvas mor,ed, r-u-rtil finall1,-I had to point out to m1'students that it u,as amazing horr the sinrple act of mv assigning a topic for a paper seemed to cirirre lar-qe nr-rrlbers of othenvise happv and healthr. middle- a-eed ri,omen to their deatl-rs. I1'as carefr-rl to make that poir-rt during an off u'c.ek, dur-ing rihicl'r r-ro de.'iths u,ere rcpolted.

The Evils of Dorm Life Thc'se stclr-ies are nsr-iallr fni1l.t, predict- zible; thev lilnrost alu'avs f'eature thc cvil r-oomm.rte or I-rallmale, u,ith mv stuclent ir-r the rrrIc o['lhe innoccnt r,ictir.r.r; nncl can be sur-r-rrnecl up as lol- Iorr,s: Ml r-oonrmate, u'ho is a hon'iblc per-son, lil<es to perr-tr, ancl I, r,r,ho anr a good person, cannot concentrate on n1\' u,ot'l< ri'hen l.re or she is partr.ing. \/ar-iations inclr-rde stories about the turo people nert door rvho rvere rurrnin-q arotind and crring lor-rdlr last night because (a) one of them had bovh'iend/girlfriend pr:oblems; (b) one of tl-rem rvas throu'ing up blood; or (c) someone, somervhere, died. A friend of mine ir-r graduate school had a student u'ho claimed that l-ris roommate attacked him rvith a hamr-ner. That, in I'acl, rvas a trlle story'; it canre ollt in court rvhen the bad roomn-iate \\,as tried for killing his grandfather.

The Evils of Technology The corrpuler age has relolr-rtiorrizecl the stlrdent storr, insl-lirir-rg aln-rost as nrullrv ne\\i e\cuses as it I-ras Internet busir-rcsses. Hc'r'e are .jtrst zr leui electroniczrllv c'nhar-rce'cl erplanations.

Thc conrpr-rtel rr,oulcln't let nre savc nrv ri'ot-k.

The prilrter rioulcln't prir-rt. The printer: u,otrldr.r't print this tile. The prir-rter u,ouldn't gite nle timc to proofi'eacl.

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TI-re printer made a black line r-un tl'rr-ough erll mv ri,ords, and I kno\\' vou can't reacl this, btrt do -vor-r still u'ernt it, or n'ait, here, take mr' flash drive. File nar-ne? I don't knorv u'hat vou mean. I su-ear I attached it. It's r-r-rv roornmate'.s computer, and sl-rc usuallt,helps rne, but she had to go to thc hospital becernse she uas throuring up blood. I did u,rite to the listsen; but all m\-messages carne back to me. I just found out that all mv otl-ier listserv messages came up under a c1ilTe rer-r1 nanrc. I.just u'zrnt voll to knou' that its reallr r-ne r,r,ho n,rote all those nresszrgcs, \'oll c.rn tel t'hich ones oLlr mine becanse I didnt use the spelcheckl But it r.rras 1'or-rrs tlr-rel1' :) An5r.ar, jr-rst in case vou missed those n-iessages or dont belief its m1'r.rrritting. I'11 repeat u-hat I sad: I thor-rght the last movie rve ri'atched in clas uas bon'ing.

The Totally Bizarre I call the f irst stor-v "The Pennsr,lvania Chain Sari' Episode." A commuter student called to explain u,hv she had missed mv morning class. She had gotten up earh,so that she u,ould be rvicle arvake fnr class. I{ar ir-rg a bit ol e\tr.i time, sl-re u'alked outside to see he't'rrc'ighbor', u'ht, rrls cr.rtting sourc rr,ood. She called out to him, and l-re u.ar,ed back to f-ier u'ith the sau. Wouldn't r,ou knou, it, the safet\- catch u'asn't on or rvas broken, and the blade fleu' ri.eht out of the sau' and across his laun and over l-rer fence and across hc-r vard and severed a tenclrin in hcr-r'ieht lrand. So she rias calling me from the hospital, ri'hcle she uas ri'aitir-rg for surger-v Luckih, she leassured me, she had remembered to bring her paper and a stamped enr.elope (in a plastic bag, to avoid bloodstains) along rvith her in the ambulance, and a nltrse t,as mailing cver-r'thir.rg to nte eve11 as rve spoke.

Thal ri'asrr't her'fir-st absence. h-r lact, tl-ris str-rdcnt hzid ntissed ntost of tl-re class r.r-reetings, and I had alreadv recorrlmended tl-rat she u,ithdrari' h'orn tl're course. Noiv I suggested again that it might be best if she dropped the' class. I didn't harp on the abser-rces (ri'l'rat if er.en sor-ne of this ston' rict'r- trttc?). I ciicl r.nc-ntion thzrt slre uotrlcl need tinre to recuper'zite and that nraking up so r.r.ruch nrissed u,cirk migl'rt be difiicr-rlt. "Oh, no," she said, "I can't drop this coLrrse. I had been planning to go on to medical school and beconre a surqeon, but since I ri,on't be able to operate because of mr- accidc-nt, I'll have t<i mnjor-in English, and this coLlrse is n-iore importat-rt than c'r'er-to r-r-rc." Shc dicl courc [o the- nert class, ri,earing-as evidence of her recent tralLlnra-a bedragglcd Ace bandage on her left l-rand.

\bu mav be thinking that nothing could top that ercuse, but in fact I hale one n-iore stor'\', provided bl'the sarne student, u'l'ro sent me a letter tri crpkrir-r u,hv her f ir.ral assignnrent rvorrlcl bc latc. Whilc r-ccupet'atin_e Ir'onr her-sLu-gcr'\', sl-rc hacl begurr corre-sponcling on the Internet vi,ith a n-ian riho lii,ed in Germanr'. Alter a one-n.eek, u,hirlu,ind Web romance, thev l-iad agreed to meet in Romc, to rendezr.ous (her phrase) at the pnp:il Easter Mass. Regrettablv, tl'ie tir-r-re of her flight made it impossible

Chapter 29 Readings for Writers