GEN 499 FINAL PAPER

Proofed Paper: ntp162644 - Tue Nov 29 7:34:25 EST 2016

Paper Title: Humanitarian Crisis: Economic impact of refugees fleeing war in Europe and the Middle Easr

No. of Pages: 5 PAGES

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Organization

Paper Goals: Argumentative Essay on global social issue of refugees. Identify the problem,

argument and solution

Proofing Summary:

Hi, Jaumecal! I'm Heather, your tutor today.

Thank you for submitting your persuasive/argumentative paper about humanitarian crisis.

Strengths:

Suggestions:

Below you’ll find an action plan to help you revise your essay, along with comments on your paper.

1. You have not met all of the requirements of the prompt for this assignment. Be sure to address all of the items in the prompt. If you

carefully break down the prompt, you will see that it is asking for you to discuss the problem, propose a solution to the problem; evaluate

the validity, reliability, and biases of the sources you used, in addition to pointing out where more research is needed; and show ethical

implications of your proposed solution.

Please review this sample paper to help you to better understand the expectations of this assignment. Click here:

GEN 499 Sample Final Paper with Annotations

2. Here is additional information of writing a thesis statement that will better address the prompt. The last sentence of your introduction

paragraph should state your thesis. A thesis conveys your position on a topic and provides focus for your essay — basically, it is what you

are hoping to accomplish or prove in this paper. A simple equation for a thesis statement might look something like this: Specific topic +

your opinion or the claim + your reasons = Thesis

You can structure your thesis like this: Topic is [opinion] because of X, Y, and Z. or

Because of X, Y, and Z, Topic is/can be seen as/should/should not [opinion]

Try adding a thesis like this to the end of your introduction. For help writing a thesis, check out

https://bridgepoint.equella.ecollege.com/curriculum/file/73935690-6546-4556-9dad-a345f96c0dfb/2/Two-Minute%20Tutorial%20Thesis%20Statements_LSWC.zip/story.html

3. An in-text citation should include the author’s last name, the year, and if citing a direct quote, a page number. (Author, year, p. #). If no

author is provided, you would have the title of the piece instead: (“Title of article,” year). If no year is provided, you will include n.d. for no

date: (Author, n.d.). If no page numbers are provided, you will use the paragraph number: (Author, year, para. #).

Here are two ways that you can set up a citation, which works for quoting or for summarizing and paraphrasing:

a. As LastName (year) states, “quote” or paraphrase (p.#).

b. “Quote” or paraphrase (LastName, Year, p.#).

For more help with this, please see the following resource: https://awc.ashford.edu/cd-in-text-citation-guide.html

4. Also, be sure that your sources are cited properly, because many of them are incorrectly cited. For help with citing in your reference list,

click here: https://awc.ashford.edu/cd-apa-reference-models.html or see these samples: https://awc.ashford.edu/PDFHandouts/APA_References_List_Sample.pdf

At least one instance of each item was pointed out, but please apply each instance to the entire paper for repeat instances.

Thank you for using the Learning Services Writing Center. You can always log into a live tutor session for immediate help with specific

questions. Keep up the good work.

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In APA style, the introduction section never gets a heading.

You do not want to explicitly state

"This paper will discuss..." Your

thesis should express this.

The introduction paragraph should include a brief discussion of why this is a societal problem. The introduction paragraph should

end with a thesis statement that includes your proposed solution to the societal problem. Also, include the positive ethical outcome

of the solution.

A level 2 Left-aligned, Boldface, Uppercase and Lowercase Heading

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You do not have this listed on your reference page.

This is not a proper in-text citation

for this source.

Where are you getting all of these

statistics? Are they are all from AFP?

Why do you have a one here?

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You do not want to have

paragraphs with only two

sentences.

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You have provided a great overview of the impact of the refugees to the economy. Is this the problem you are defining? If so, what are your

solutions? What positive ethical outcomes are there of your solutions? Additionally, there is no conclusion.

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Proofed Paper: ntp162644 - Tue Nov 29 7:34:25 EST 2016

When referring to books, chapters, articles, or Web pages, capitalize only the first letter of the first word of a title and subtitle, the first word after a

colon or a dash in the title, and proper nouns.

The titles of books, magazines, journals, newspapers, periodicals, and websites should be italicized.

Volume numbers should be italicized.

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