communication homework

· Self-esteem: the way we feel about ourselves.

· Defense Mechanisms:

1. Distancing: preventing others from getting close.

2. Outdoing others: when we feel we need to top the achievements of others.

3. Overly critical com: judging or criticizing others.

4. Avoidance: w retreat from a problem in a relationship.

5. Psychological withdrawal: we feel uncomfortable in a situation, but forced to be there.

6. Reaction formation: we behave contrary (opposite) to the way we really feel.

7. Sarcasm: a biting sense of humor used to keep people at distance.

8. Formula com: superficial dialogue to keep people at a distance.

· Gibbs study:

1. Evaluation: occurs when you attack the person.

Description: occurs when you focus on the behaviors.

2. Control: you have a problem; go fix it.

Problem: we have a problem; we fix it.

3. Strategy: Preplan dialogue. ( use: I , don’t use: you )

Spontaneity: more natural. (You have general idea only)

4. Neutrality: occurs when you communicate, but you don’t care.

Empathy: occurs when you try to feel someone else’s.

5. Superiority: when someone feel he’s better and more important and apply it.

Equality: we’re all the same.

6. Certainty: there’s only one way and it’s my way.

Provisionalism: multiple ways.

· Listening Skills:

· Questioning: asking questions to understand better.

· Paraphrasing: put someone else’s words into your words.

· Interpreting: when you take what someone else heard and give him a different perspective; that’s to help someone understand things from another perspective.

· Language Skills:

· Description: to focus on (or describe) the observed behavior.

· Dating: when we use a time reference for our observations.

· Indexing: when you pull out individual differences. ( تشخيص vs. تعميم )

· Thesis Statement: summary of our coordinate points.

· Principles of organization:

i. Coordinate Points: the major points; the big ideas. At least two.

ii. Supportive Points: minor points to support the major points. At least two for each c.p.

iii. Discreteness: (Separation) each idea has the ability to stand alone.

iv. Sequence: (order): time: when.

Space: where (big small).

Topic classification.

· Types of Delivery:

a. The Impromptu Speech: without advance preparation.

b. The Manuscript Speech: word for word (for authorities).

c. The Memorizing Speech: nothing in front of you, but words.

d. The Extemporaneous Speech: when you have ready outline, so you have flexibility with the audiences.

· The Process of Organization:

Interpretation

When we use our frame of references.

Organize

Similarity: we put similar things together.

Proximity: things that happened around major event.

Closure: to fill the gap. Don’t do stereotype.

Selective

When pay attention to something: based on our needs.

(Needs vs. Decay)

· Stereotyping:

i. Allness: when we take a character and apply it to many people because they look similar.

ii. Halo and horns stereotyping: + or – observation and we transfer it to another location.

iii. Self-fulfilling: when our behavior matches someone else’s expectations.

When an individual perceives us to be a certain way, he or she begins to treat us according to that preconceived notion, and eventually we act out or fulfilling the way we are being perceived.

· The process of communication:

It all begins with an idea (which comes from our frame of references) then the idea encoded (put into meaningful symbols (verbal, nonverbal)) the message sent via a channel (one of our five senses: sight, smell, touch, taste, and hear) once the message receives, it will be decoded (using our frame of references) then the feedback will appear (either verbal or nonverbal) and it will be + or-

*Three conditions that affect the communication: Noise (internal, external), calumet, and setting.

*Communication is Dynamic not Static.

1. Non-verbal behaviora

A. Emblems: behavior taken a place of word.

B. Illustrators: reinforce a verbal message.

C. Affect Displays: signs of our emotional state. EX, someone get the job and say to the other person I'm so happy that you got the job.

D. Regulators: control communication nonverbal behavior. Ex, board in class looks to the watch.

E. Adaptors: are behaviors when we are nervous because feeling uncomfortable situation.

2. The Process of Perception:

Organize

Similarity: we put similar things together.

Proximity: things that happened around major event.

Closure: to fill the gap. Don’t stereotype.

Interpretation

When we use our frame of references.

Selective

When pay attention to something: based on our needs.

(Needs vs. Decay)

3. Empty: to place yourself in someone else position, try to understand someone else prospective.

4. Interpersonal needs: that's the study by shoots

Social What kind of behavior?

A) Under: individual person avoid any kind group interaction. (avoidances )

B) Over: need to be part to all groups.( reaction formation )

C) Ideal: Person is socially to groups but does not need to be in all groups.

Control

A) Abdicate: person avoid making decision, afraid to do it. (avoidances )

B) Autocrat: he has to make all decision. ( reaction formation )

C) Demo tract: make decision but does not to make all of them.

Personal

A) Under: afraid of closeness. (avoidances )

B) Over: get to have relationship with everybody. ( reaction formation )

C) Ideal: understand that relationships can changes.

5. Defense Mechanisms:

9. Distancing: preventing others from getting close.

10. Outdoing others: when we feel we need to top the achievements of others.

11. Overly critical com: judging or criticizing others.

12. Avoidance: when retreat from a problem in a relationship.

13. Psychological withdrawal: we feel uncomfortable in a situation, but forced to be there.

14. Reaction formation: we behave contrary (opposite) to the way we really feel.

15. Sarcasm: a biting sense of humor used to keep people at distance.

16. Formula com: superficial dialogue to keep people at a distance.

6. Owning your own feeling: being honest with yourself, if you cannot be honest with yourself I don't know How you will trust someone else.

7. Johari Window

Open I'm aware off and other ppl are too. EX. 10 dean, everyone knows	Blind Person not aware but other are or see.
Hidden Stuff we know and we don’t want some else to know about it.	Unknown No one aware off until it happens.

Four points associated with this window:

I. All of this unrelated, when one change it will affects the others or another one.

II. In most situation, the greater the open the more effective to communication.

III. It's take a lot of energy to hide don't be foil.

IV. With selective other you don't lose self esteem of sharing.

8. Conflict:

The following steps you want to use to result a conflict

1) Note your interaction needs what you want out from this, how you really feel.

2) Define a place & time to meet.

3) Talk about your feeling other person behavior.

4) Have your partner paraphrase.

5) Let your partner talk.

6) You Paraphrase.

7) Negotiation.

9. Public speaking topic

· Principles of organization:

v. Coordinate Points: the major points; the big ideas. At least two.

vi. Supportive Points: minor points to support the major points. At least two for each c.p.

vii. Discreteness: (Separation) each idea has the ability to stand alone.

viii. Sequence: (order): time: when.

Space: where (big small).

Topic classification.

10. Good & bad introduction.

Bad: This you want to stay away from.

1. Abrupt begging: jump into the introduction.

2. A wordy begging: show off your vocabulary and no one knows about what you talking.

3. Gimmick: do something crazy to get attention.

4. Joke: laugh get them back to your topic.

5. Apologitc: speaker apology to be an argument.

6. Extended: take 3 mints to introduce 5 mints speech.

Good: this one you want to use.

1) Questioning: when ask a question and you don't expect the audience to answer but related to your topic.

2) Startling statement: when you get the audience attention but it's from your topic.

Ex. Every mint there is a person diagnoses to cancer then give speech about smoking.

3) Quote: take word of someone else to create this need to know.

4) Narrative: is a story the easiest to do.

11. Mascow: has developed the heroic of needs.

Self actualization (reaching your highest potential)

Esteem (having states, ex. join student then want to be president)

Belong ( being part of something)

Safety (physical, sociological)

Physiological ( water, air, food)

12. Five part of speech

1) Introduction

2) Thiess statement #1

3) Body

4) Thiess statement #2

5) Conciliations

13. Conciliations

Bad

1. Abrupt: begging: Ex. Short, that's it, good bye.

2. Extended: speaker go on and on, because poor planning and love it up here.

Good What you want do in the conclusions? is reflect.

Steps #1 know the audience how you feel, understand how I feel about this.

Step#2 call actions: the audience to action ask them to do something.