essay

Purpose:

In my final essay, I would like to talk about the definition of the Fuerdai (The Second Generation Rich) in China. And also the differences between positive side of Fuerdai and negative side of fuerdai. In recent years,  the issues of Fuerdai are catching people attention a lot, but not every Fuerdai showed off their wealth, and looks like unrealistic person. In fact, some of them work harder than the people thoughts. During the economy development Chinese people get more resources, but they don't know how to use it reasonably. Thus, some people sick of Fuerdais behaviors. I wonder if I can explain more objectively, people might change their thoughts of Chinese Fuerdai. 

Reply to Thread

Feedback :

Great topic!  I agree that introducing the positive and negative characteristics of the fu'erdai is a good approach.  Please make sure to make a strong claim in your thesis statement about the fu'erdai.  It seems to me that you could either argue that:

A) While there are many examples of bad behavior amongst the fu'erdai, generally speaking, they do not deserve the negative reputation that some attribute to them.

or

B) The fu'erdai generation has been corrupted by the wealth of their parents and a lacking moral foundation.

Personally, I think that the first argument is stronger and more interesting.  American millennials are often criticized in a similar way to the fu'erdai and that might also make an interesting comparison.   Let me know if you have any questions.

Final Peper Intro Paragraph and Sources

Fu’erdai is the word often regarded as derogatory, but we still can use it as commendatory. The overview of Fu’erdai is with the increase of rich families, which gradually becomes public attention to the issue of rich second generation. Some people believe that the rich second generation can benefit from being affluent. On the other hand, some people believe the luxurious life of the rich second generation is quite common for a kid to fall into some bad habits. From my point of view, the rich second-generation's luxurious life is quite bad for not only the rich second generation but also the whole society. First, the rich second generation is given birth by a rich family can give them their want without working. Second, the luxurious life is lack of knowledge and social experience. They can't do contribution to the society. If they can't live on their own, they are rubbish of the society. Third, the rich second generation can hardly adapt to the ordinary life. In a word, the rich second generation leads an ordinary life is good for their own future, their family and the whole society. Sum up these information, it only talk about inherent cognition of them. In this case, can we just judge this whole special group in this only way?

The interesting thing I found out that is when I tried to search how American think about Fu’erdai, I only see the negative side about them. And also the definition of them is limited because how to look at “rich” that is the main point of Fu’erdai. You can say Fu’erdai is the group people how have lot of money from their families. And also you can say this group have the resources more than us, so they might see and know the thing we cannot easily touch. Fu’erdai can be the people how have big mind and work harder than we thoughts. If we have to argue one thing, we cannot only see the side we familiar with.

I would like to make a argument between the view of Fu’erdai we already had and the side of them we don’t really see in positive way. The really good example for us is the people who are Fu’erdai, impress people eyes, and do not rely their families as what people thoughts.

Work cites:

"Chinese Students Major in Luxury Cars". Bloomberg. December 19, 2013. Retrieved December 13, 2015.

Fan, Jiayang. "The Golden Generation Why China's super-rich send their children abroad.". New Yorker. Retrieved 25 November 2016.

Shyong, Frank. "To be young, rich and Chinese in America: Amid all that flashy spending, a sense of loss". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved 25 November 2016.

Feedback from teacher:

Comments:

Sources: 

· Nice job finding feature articles on the issue.  I haven't read the The New Yorker piece, but look forward to doing so.  Thanks!  

· It appears that all of your sources present a similar perspective.  They are great in that they present a humanistic view of "fu'erdai" in the US as well as some of their excesses and challenges. I would suggest also trying to find something on perspectives of the fu'erdai in China.

First sentence (attention grabber):

· Good, but I think you need to explain what fuerdai means right away, the first time you mention it.

· "Fu’erdai, referring to the children of wealthy Chinese parents, is a word often regarded as derogatory, but in truth it can also be taken as a compliment."

Background information:

· Good, clear progression of ideas in your first paragraph.  Main points build nicely to your thesis.

Thesis statement/Research question:

· The ideas behind your arguments and thesis make lots  of sense.

Other Comments:

· What are the second and third paragraphs?  Are they just a note to me or are they part of your paper?

· Get rid of uses of first person perspective ("I", "we", "my").  They are not appropriate in academic writing.

Please visit The Writing Center in Curtin Hall to work out grammar issues and improve clarity  in your writing.