CM 220 Unit 8: Writing an Argument for Change

CM220: Unit 8 Discussion Sample Kaplan, 2015

SAMPLE DISCUSSION POST: UNIT 8 Please note that this is a sample Discussion post to help inspire and guide your own original writing of the assignment. Your assignment does not need to look exactly like the sample, as this sample is just a possible response to the assignment prompt. Be sure to review the reading and grading rubric, complete each task in the instructions, and contact the instructor with any questions. DISCUSSION POST: Introduction: Despite being one of the largest school districts in one of the nation’s largest cities, the San Antonio Independent School District received only an “academically acceptable” rating in 2011, which was actually an improvement for the district since it received “academically unacceptable” ratings in 2009 and 20010 (“SAISD Progresses, Earns Acceptable State Rating,” 2011; “Texas Education Agency,” 2012). In order to improve academic performance, the district needs to provide every high school student with a tablet; this will encourage more learning outside of the classroom and increase mastery of skills. Approach: I know from this unit’s reading on introductions and conclusions that an introduction is crucial for setting the stage and getting my readers’ attention (Clements, 2011). I am never very sure about how I should open my paper, so I thought I might try the “attention-grabbing statement” approach. I really want the audience to be aware of the district’s deficient performance, so mentioning the low ratings the district has received in recent years might be a way to do that.

References Clements, K. (2011, December). Crafting effective introductions and conclusions. Retrieved

from https://kucampus.kaplan.edu/DocumentStore/Docs11/pdf/WC/Introductions_Conclusi ons_v2.pdf

SAISD progresses, earns acceptable state rating [Press release]. (2011, July 29). Retrieved

from http://www.saisd.net/main/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1840:sai sd-progresses-earns-acceptable-state-rating&catid=3:news&Itemid=151

Texas Education Agency. (2012). Testing & accountability. Retrieved from

http://www.tea.state.tx.us/index.aspx?id=2147495410&menu_id=660&menu_id2=795 &cid=2147483660

Please note that this is a sample Discussion response to help inspire and guide your own responses to classmates. Your response does not need to look exactly like the sample, as this sample is just a possible response to the assignment prompt. Be sure to review the reading and

CM220: Unit 8 Discussion Sample Kaplan, 2015

grading rubric, complete each task in the instructions, and to contact the instructor with any questions. RESPONSE POST:

Hi Steve, I like the approach you selected for your introduction paragraph. Right now, though, the introduction seems a bit brief. Might you explain the Texas ranking system in more depth? As Clements (2011) notes in the “Writing a Good Introduction” podcast, you want to give readers enough context to follow your argument. “Academically Acceptable” doesn’t sound like a bad rating, but if readers knew that was the next-to-lowest rating available and “Academically Unacceptable” was the lowest, that might be a more compelling way to set up your argument. Also, I know when our family was about to move to another state that we spent a lot of time reviewing a “Great Schools” web site to learn more about the area’s schools. Their ratings system was on a ten-point scale, so if their score for the SAISD is really low, that might be helpful to include. You can find their web site at http://www.greatschools.org. Another tip from this week’s reading that might be helpful is to vary sentence length (Clements, “Writing Powerful Sentences,” 2011). Your sentences tend to be pretty long, and sometimes readers can get lost. How about breaking up your opening sentence this way: San Antonio Independent School District is one of the largest school districts in one of the nation’s largest cities. Students in this district, though, struggle on state-mandated tests, leading to low ratings. The district’s “academically acceptable” rating in 2011 was actually an improvement for the district since it received “academically unacceptable” ratings in 2009 and 20010 (“SAISD Progresses, Earns Acceptable State Rating,” 2011; “Texas Education Agency,” 2012). Good luck on your final project! I know you will do a great job. Kelly

References Clements, K. (2011, December 16). Writing a good introduction [Podcast]. Effective Writing

Podcast Series. Retrieved from http://www.screencast.com/users/KUWC/folders/Effective%20Writing%20Podcasts%2 0(2011)/media/79bd32b1-84fb-4b29-8121-d7989f70de59

Clements, K. (2011, October 6). Writing powerful sentences [Podcast]. Effective Writing

Podcast Series. Retrieved from http://www.screencast.com/users/KUWC/folders/Effective%20Writing%20Podcasts%2 0(2011)/media/4ac4b8aa-eb9a-4340-8bb8-5fb23656115a

CM220: Unit 8 Discussion Sample Kaplan, 2015