Marriage & Parenthood

Marriage: Building a

Strong Foundation Chapter 11

Marriage Today…

54.4% of individuals over age of 15

are married

27% have never married

18.5% are divorced, separated or

widowed

U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2004

Decline in Marriage

Causes

Delaying of first marriage until older

age

Increase in the number of people

who divorce and do not remarry

Rising number of cohabitating

couples

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Americans have positive attitudes

toward marriage

Nonmarital sex

No longer viewed as wrong

Marriage no longer viewed as

only way to fulfill sexual needs

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Attitudes about cohabitation

Socially acceptable as a

stepping stone to marriage

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Dual jobs or dual careers

Women comprise nearly half of

all employed persons (Bureau of

Labor Statistics 2009e)

Majority of adults believe both

spouses should work outside the

home (Paul 2006)

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Division of household labor

“Second shift” still exists

Changing norms

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Marital decline perspective

Suggests the institution of marriage is increasingly being threatened by self-indulgent pursuits of happiness at the expense of a long-term commitment

Attitudes Toward Marriage

Marital resilience

Suggests ending an unhappy marriage is not necessarily cause for alarm because it gives adults another chance at happiness and provides the opportunity to end a child’s dysfunctional home life

The Benefits of Marriage

Healthier lifestyle

Longer life

More satisfying sexual relationship

Children do better

Waite & Gallagher, 2000; Waite, 1998

There is a downside to marriage,

especially for women.

Because of its exalted status,

people may expect too much

from it.

Working women may suffer

economically.

Married women experience

higher rates of mental and

physical illness than do married

men.

The “Marriage Problem”

Changes in Marital

Satisfaction Over Time

Marital satisfaction for both males

and females drops each year at a

similar rate

Marriages changed as a result of

having children

Vitalized and devitalized couples

change the least

“Marriage Work”

Marriages require work

Couple time can get lost in midst of

family time:

Limit family outside activities

Schedule couple time and

activities

View marriage as an investment for

self and family

Components of a

Successful Marriage

Independent and mature partners

Love self as well as partner

Enjoy alone time

Establish self in career/work first

Partners know themselves

Assertive communication patterns

Law of enlightened self interest

Are there other important

components of marriage?

Forgiveness in Marriage

Needs to be part of conflict resolution

Decreases negativity and increases positive feelings and goodwill

Sacrifice in Marriage

One puts partner’s needs first

Partner puts relationship above selfish interests

Why Marriage Fall Apart?

Getting too busy for marriage

Getting used to our partner

Television and other media

No dating, especially after having

children

Not knowing strategies for maintaining

a marriage

Differences between partners in their

work orientation and toward marriage

When Marriages Do Not

Work

People should not stay in destructive

marriages

Physically and emotionally

damaging

Therapy can help improve the

relationship

Premarital and Marriage

Education

Marriage Education

Rising interest in preparing for

marriage

Premarital programs:

Often clergy led

Limited depth

1-2 sessions common

Workshop, retreat, or small group

common formats

Premarital Education

Effective programs:

Utilize a premarital inventory

Focus on communication and

problem solving skills

Occur in small group format with

other couples

Begin 12 months prior to marriage—

lasting 6-8 weeks

Other Marriage Programs

and Initiatives

Federal Healthy Marriage

Initiative

 Incentives for engaged couples to

attend premarital preparation courses

 Requiring high-school students to take

courses on marriage and relationship

skills

 Giving couples applying for marriage

licenses a handbook informing them of

their legal rights and responsibilities

 Requiring couples with children who file

for divorce to take a parent education

and family stabilization course