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Best country for living
USA and Russia are two of the most famous countries in the world today. A lot of people visit these two countries every year but are they good places to live? Many people today are having difficulty in choosing the best country to live in. There are many people who came back to their countries because they found it hard to adapt to the different culture. The US is better to live in than Russia because of the differences in quality of their culture, entertainment, and media. Each one of these is very important for people to make the coexistence easier. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: The phrase is, "go back to…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "a" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "these things…"
Culture is the most important thing that people need to know before they decide to live in a different country. Every country has different cultures. The culture includes the language they speak, and the food they eat. The language and the food is very good in the US. Most of the people in the US speak English, which is a common language today. Many people use English around the world today and That will helps to make the connection easier for the people who want to live in the US. Most of the people worry about the food if they want to choose a new place to live in. In the US, the most common foods are steak, burger, and fries. These dishes are also common around the world. Also, they have many different kinds of food from many countries because they have many international immigrants and citizens. According to Institute of food Technologists (2013), there are more than 43 thousands Chinese restaurants and more than 10 thousands Italian restaurants in New York alone. That will makes the people like home feel like home. Also, they have many options to eat what they like and they can try new kinds of food. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "know about…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: To make it more specific you should say, "A country's culture includes…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Good introduction to this paragraph! Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Because the first idea in this sentence is the cause the second idea is the effect you can use a transition word like "so"
For example, "…use English around the world so this will help to make living in the U.S. easier for people because they will already speak the language." Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Because this is a new idea you need some kind of transition.
For example, "Most people also worry about the food…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Take out.
Only use "live in" if you follow it with the actual place they will live in. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: You should make a comment about how this is useful for immigrants because they are familiar with this type of food. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Don’t forget to include international students Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Don’t forget to use an article "the" and capitalize Food Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Pl- thousand Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: vf
The food and the language in Russia is much harder and worst. Most of the people in Russia speak Russian and it is a very hard language because there is not many people use it around the world. According to The Most Ten website (2015), “Roughly 260 million people around the world can speak Russian” This is a big number but most of the Russian speakers are in Russia. Also, according to BBC (2014), “There are over 100 minority languages spoken in Russia today” That will make the connection with the people their very hard. Russian food is not popular in other countries because most of the dishes are very traditional. Also, Russia does not have many different kinds of restaurants and that because there are no many international immigrants and citizens. That will be hard for the people who did not like the Russian food to live in Russia. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Remember the lesson from today in class.
You want to compare by saying "is much harder and worse than the food…." Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: To make this a more complex sentences I would use a different clause structure.
"…speak Russian, which is a very …." Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: You need a period. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Very good explanation of the quote! Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Please spell out the name of this: "the British Broadcasting Corporation" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: period Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: why? Be specific Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Because this is a new idea you need a transition.
You can use "Also" or "In addition" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Sp- not Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Can you find a source to support this sentence? Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: You can use a transition here to show cause and effect. For example, "So it will be hard…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Vt
Second, the entertainment is very important for every country to make the people feel happy. There is many ways for entertainment and everyone can choose his own way. Many people have different ideas about sports. Sport is one of the most popular parts of entertainment. Also, A lot of people watch it in the TV everyday. According to the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (2014), “Pro football is the most popular sports in America for at least the 30th straight year” Many people in the US like to play football because it the most popular sport. Also, basketball it very popular to and many people watch it in the TV. In Russia, the weather will be always very cold so, they always play outdoor sports such as ice hockey, snowboarding. Also, they have many traditional sports. According to Top end Sports (2014), most of the people in Russia like to play the traditional sports such as Bandy, Lapta, and Gorodki. These sports are very enjoyable and the old people like it so much. The sports in the US is better than Russia because they have a lot of sports indoor and outdoor and they are very popular. In Russia, most of the sports are outdoor and traditional and This is very hard because the weather there is very cold. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Wc- help Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: sv Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: The phrase you want is, "types of entertainment" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: The phrase you want is "…choose the kind they like best." Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: I would switch these two sentences. Put the "Sports is one of…" sentence 1st. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "on" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Good! Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: period Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: sp Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: wrong verb and adjective "the weather is often very cold…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "usually" you don’t want to say always here. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Please give a short description of what these games are. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "a lot" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: sv Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: wo - "indoor and outdoor sports" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: much better reasons!
Third, The media is very important for every country because it shows how the country improved and what happened recently. The media always reflects the culture of the country because it shows us how the people think and what they like and do not like. According to the Home of the Daily and Sunday Express (2013), “Around 24 billion newspapers are published around the world every year”. This is a big number of newspapers and that shows how the newspapers are important. The US is one of the most powerful countries in the world in newspapers. They have a large amount of newspaper that post everyday. According to and many people read it around the world. Also, they can present their ideas for the entire world. Russian newspapers are not popular as the US newspapers because two reasons. First, they use the Russian language and there are not many people speak Russian in the world. Second, they do not have the strong and correct sources and this mean that most of the news are not true. These two reasons show why the Russian newspapers are weak and not popular. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: vt Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: And maybe you can talk about how it shows how much people use and read newspapers. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Instead of using "also" you could connect these 2 ideas with a cause and effect transition like "so" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Check the grammar. You are missing something when comparing. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Either "because of two…" or "for two…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: "people who speak…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Can you support this with a source? This is strong statement- you should be able to have a source to support what you are saying here.
Russia and USA both have negatives and positives aspects of living in their countries. The USA is better to live in than Russia for many reasons. First, the culture of the USA is much better than in Russia because they speak common language that is English. Also, their food is very common in many countries and they have many different kinds. Second, in the entertainment they both have a good sports but the sports in the US is better. The US is better in sports because their sports are very popular in the world. Also, they can do the sports outdoors and in door. In Russia the most popular sports have to be outdoor because it needs snow, and this is very hard for the people because the weather there is very cold. Third, the media in the US is much better than Russia and this very important point because they will get much information about what happened in their country and the others countries. Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: Because negative and positive are adjectives here describing aspects you should make them singular, not plural: "negative and positive aspects…" Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: missing verb Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: a lot of Comment by Veronica Lee Wright: pl
References
Institute of Food Technologists. (2013). History of ethnic foods in the United States.
Retrieved 20 April 2016, from http://www.ift.org/newsroom/news-releases/2013/december/12/history-of-ethnic-foods-in-the-united-states.aspx.
Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, (2014). NFL Most Popular For 30Th
Year In Row. Retrieved 22 April 2016, from
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10354114/harris-poll-nfl-most-popular-mlb-2nd
Home of the Daily and Sunday Express. (2013). Ten things you never knew about
Newspapers. Retrieved 22 April 2016, from http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/top10facts/396701/Ten-things-you-never-knew-about-newspapers
The Most Ten. (2015). 10 Most widely spoken languages in the world. Retrieved 26 April 2016,
from http://www.themost10.com/widely-spoken-languages-in-the-world/
BBC. (2014). Languages across Europe. Retrieved 27 April 2016, from
http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/european_languages/countries/russia.shtml
Topend Sports Network. (2014). Sports in Russia. Retrieved 27 April 2016, from
http://www.topendsports.com/world/countries/russia.htm
