outline needed

· incerest your readers and provide any background information they may need, and

· present your thesis statemenc.

Notice how each of the cwo sample introduccions rhat follow, both on sexual harass­ ment, creates an entirely dHfcrem impression and set of expectations.

Sets tone: Tone is reason­ able yet with mild sense of disbelief

Engages readers/provides background: Grabs readers' attention with provocative example

Thesis: Thesis prepares readers for an essay that examines definitions of sexual harassment and perhaps offers one.

Sets tone: Tone is outraged, angry

Engages readers/ provides background:Provides specific, distressing examples

Thesis: Thesis prepares readers for an essay that suggests ways women can speak out against sexual harassment.

INTRODUCTION 1

Sexual harassment has received a great deal of attention in recent years. From the highest offices of government and the military to factories in small towns, sexual harass­ ment cases have been tried in court and pub licized on national television for all Americans to witness. This focus on sexual harassment has been, in and of itself, a good

and necessary thing. However, when a first-grade boy makes national headlines because he kissed a little girl of the same age and is accused of "sexual harassment," the American public needs to take a serious Look at the definition of sexual harassment.

INTRODUCTION 2

Sexual harassment in the workplace seems to happen with alarming frequency. As a woman who works part time in a male-dominated office, I have witnessed at least six incidents of sexual harassment aimed at me and my female colleagues on various occa­

sions during the past three months alone. For example, in one incident, a ma le coworker repeatedly made kissing sounds whenever I passed his desk, even after I explained that his actions made me uncomfortable. A female coworker was invited to dinner several times by her male supervisor; each time she refused . The last time she refused, he made a veiled threat: "You obviously aren't ha ppy working with me. Perhaps a transfer is in order".These

incidents were not isolated, did not happen to only one woman, and were initiated by more than one man. My colleagues and I are not the only victims. Sexual harassment is on the rise and will continue to increase unless wome n speak out against it loudly and to a recep­ tive audience.

An introduction can be difficulr to write. Ifyou have crouble, return co ic later, once you have written the body of your essay. As you draft, you may chink of a better way to grab you r readers, sec your cone, and establish your focus.

The following suggestions for writing a strong introduction will help you capture your readers' i nterest:

1. Ask a provocative or disturbing question, or pose a series of related ques­

tions to direct readers' attention to your key points.

Should health insurance companies pay for more rhan one scay in a drug rehabilitation center? Should insu rance continue to pay for rehab services when pariencs consistently put themselves back into danger by using drugs again?

2. Begin with a dramatic or engaging anecdote or an example that is relevant to your thesis.

The penal system somerimes prorects the righrs of the criminal instead of chose of che victi m. For example, during a rape crial, the defense attorney can question the vicrim about his or her sexual history, but che prosecming attor­ ney is forbidden by law to mention char the defendan t was charged wi th rape in a previous trial. In fact, if the prosecution even hints at the defendant's sexual hisrory, the defense can request a m istrial.

3. Offer a quotation that illustrates or emphasizes your thesis.

As Indira Gandhi once said, "You c;urnot shake hands with a clenched fist." This truism is important co remember whenever people communicate with one another but particularly when they are attem pti ng co resolve a con­ Aicc. Both parties need to agree chat there is a problem and then agree co listen ro each ocher wi th an open mind. Shaking hands is a productive way co begin working coward a resolution.

4. Cite a little-known fact or shocking statistic.

Recent research has shown rhar rhe color pink has a calming effect on people. In fact, a prison detention center i n western New York was recen tly painted pink co make prisoners more controllable in rhe d.ays following their arrest.

5. State a commonly held misconception, and correct this misconception in your thesis.

Many people have che mistaken notion that only homosexuals aod drug users are in danger of conrracri ng AlDS. In fuct. many heterosexuals also suf­ fer from this debilirating disease. Furthermore, the number of heterosexuals who test HIV-positive has increased substancially over the past decade. It is time the American public became better informed about the prevention and r:rearmenc of AJOS.

6. Describe a hypothetical situation.

Suppose you were i n a serious car accident and became unconscious . Sup­ pose further that you slipped i nco a coma, with little hope for recovery. Unless you had a prewricren healrh-care proxy that designated someone famil iar wi th your wishes to act on your behalf, your face would be left i n the bands of doc­ tors who knew nothing about you or yow- preferences for rrearmenc.

7. Compare your topic with one that is familiar or of special interest to your readers.

The process a researcher uses m locate a specific piece of information in the library is si m iJar to rhe process an investigamr follows in tracking a criminal; borh pose a series of questions and follow clues to answer chem.

WRITING AN EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION

Wrire a conclusion chat brings your essay m a satisfying close. For most essays, your conclusion should reaffi rm your thesis wi thout directly reseating i t. For lengthy essays, you may wane co summarize your main poinrs. Shorter essays can be ended more mem­ orably and forcefully by using one of the followi.ng suggestions.

1. Take your readers beyond the scope and time frame of your essay.

For now, then, the present system for policing the lnrerner appears to be working. I n the future, rhough, it may be necessary to put a more formal, structured procedure in place.

2. Remind readers of the relevance of the issue or suggest why your thesis is important.

As scared earlier, research has shown char rhe seat-belr law has saved thou­ sands of lives. These lives would almost certainly have been lose had this law not been enacted.

3. Offer a recommendation or urge your readers to take action.

To convince the local cable company co eliminate pornographic material , concerned citizens should organize, concacr rheir local cable station, and threaten to cancel their subscriptions.

4. Discuss broader implications not fully addressed in the essay (but do not introduce a completely new issue).

When fair-minded people consider whether the FBI should be allowed to cap private phone lines, the issue inevitably leads chem co che larger issue of First Am.endmenc rights.

5, Conclude with a fact, quotation, anecdote, or example that emphasizes

your thesis.

The next time you are tempted to send a strongly worded email, consider chis face: You r friends and your enemies can forward chose messages, with unforeseen consequences to you.

INTRODUCTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS: FOUR COMMON MISTAKES TO AVOID

In your Introduction, don't ...

1. make an announcement.Avoid opening comments such as "I am writing to explain . . ." or "This essay will discuss . . ."

2. prolong your Introduction unnec· essarlly. An introduction that is longer than two paragraphs will probably sound long-winded and make your readers impatient.

3. discourage your readers from continuing. Statements such as "This process may se· em compli­ cated, but . .." may make your readers apprehensive.

4. use a casual,overly familiar, or chatty tone, especially In academic writing. Openings such as "You'll never in a million years believe what happened ..." are generally not appropriate for college essays.

In your conclusion, don't ...

make an announcement or a restate your thesis directly. Statements like "In my essay I have shown. . . : are dull and mechanical.

Introduce major points or supporting evidence. Reasons and evidence that support your thesis belong in the body of your essay.

apologize or weaken your stance. Do not say,for example, "Although Iam only twenty-one,

. .." or back down after criticizing someone by saying "After all, she's only human."

use standard phrases. Don't use phrases such as "To sum up," "In conclusion," or "It can be seen, then." They are routine and tiresome.

WRITING A GOOD TITLE

The tide of your essay should indicate your topic and prepare readers for what follows. Tides such as "Baseball Fans" or "Gun Control," which just indicate the topic, provide readers with lirde information or incencive co con tinue reading. For academic essays, write suaightforward cities chat accurately describe your ropic and approach.

T,p <

Why Scare Lotteries Are an Unfair Tax on the Poor

SuS{!u&ts a cau,;e-effect analysis Suggests on ,gum t

For ocher writing situations-depending on your pu rpose, audience, seance, genre, and medium- your ticle may be direct, informative, witty, intrigui ng, or a combina­ tion of these. The following suggestions will help you write effective cicles.

· Ask a question that your essay answers.

Who Plays the Lottery?

· Use alliteration. Repeati ng infrial sounds often produces a catchy tide. Lotteries: Dreaming about Dollars

· Use a play on words or a catchy or humorous expression. This technique may work well for less formal essays.

Playing to Lose

· Use a brief quotation. You will likely need to mention che quotation in your essay and indicate chere who said it and where.

The Lorrery: "A Surtax on Desperation"?

EX ERCISE 7.4 ] Writing Titles

For each of the following essays,suggest a title.Use each of the above suggestions at least once.

l. An essay explaining cenants' legal rights

2. An essay opposing drug cesring on animals

3. An essay on rhe causes and effects of road rage

4. An essay comparing ficness roucines

5. An essay explaining how co choose a primary care physician

Essay In Progress 3

Using the outline or graphic organizer you created in Essay in Progress 2, write a first draft of your essay.

No Place Left for Privacy

LATRISHA WILSON

The first draft of an essay by Latrisha Wilson follows. Wilson used her freewriting (see Chapter 5) and her workingthesis (see Chapter 6) as the basis for her draft, adding details that she came up with by doing additional brainstorming (see Chapter 6). Because she was writing a first draft. Wilson did not worry about correcting the errors in grammar, punctua­ tion, and mechanics.(You will see an excerpt from her revised draft and her final draft in Chapter 9, p. 190, and an excerpt that shows Wilson's final editing and proofreading in Chapter 10,p. 213.)