Fairy Tales and Violence

Purpose2.5 (5%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay seems mechanical because it lacks a purpose and is not directed to a particular audience.

2 2.5 (5%) points

Though the essay has interesting and focused sections, it does not consistently maintain its purpose and its direction to a particular audience.

3 3.75 (7.5%) points

The essay has a clear purpose and is directed to a particular audience, but it may not always interest or address the audience as effectively as the writer hopes.

4 5 (10%) points

The essay consistently focuses on its purpose, addressing and engaging a particular audience.

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Thesis0 (0%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay lacks a thesis about the topic.

2 3.5 (7%) points

The essay develops a thesis about the topic but may occasionally include vague or incompletely developed passages.

3 5.25 (10.5%) points

The essay develops a clear thesis that makes an interesting point about the topic.

4 7 (14%) points

The essay develops a clear thesis that deepens the reader’s understanding of its point about the topic. The essay develops a clear thesis that makes an interesting point about the topic.

Feedback:

No thesis! What points are you making about violence? You have some promising material in your conclusion from which you could craft a thesis.

Organization3.5 (7%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay lacks a plan for presenting, organizing, or selecting evidence.

2 3.5 (7%) points

The essay is fairly clearly organized but may have a few problems in the arrangement or selection of evidence.

3 5.25 (10.5%) points

The essay is generally well organized, presenting varied and persuasive evidence.

4 7 (14%) points

The essay is appropriately and effectively organized to present varied and convincing evidence that supports its point.

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Paragraphs: topic sentences, development, focus0 (0%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

Paragraphs lack focus, detail, or connection to a central point.

2 2.5 (5%) points

Paragraphs generally include topic sentences, some supporting details, and some transitions that show how ideas are related.

3 3.75 (7.5%) points

Paragraphs are well developed, generally including topic sentences that support the essay’s thesis, specific details, and transitions that show how ideas are related.

4 5 (10%) points

Paragraphs are effectively developed, including topic sentences that support the essay’s thesis, unified and specific details, and clear transitions that show how ideas are related.

Feedback:

The first three pages contain only summary. There is no need to do this in order to show the violence. Most people know these fairy tales. You need to understand what points your authors are making in their articles in order to successfully make use of them. The insights gained from the sources should be integrated into the main body paragraphs, those which directly support your thesis.

Sentences4.5 (9%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

Sentences are often unclear or incorrectly constructed.

2 2.25 (4.5%) points

Sentences are generally clear and correct but may not be concise or varied.

3 3.38 (6.75%) points

Sentences are usually clear and concise, with variations in length and pattern.

4 4.5 (9%) points

Sentences are clear, concise, and varied in length and pattern in accord with the essay’s purpose.

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Language Use4 (8%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay frequently misuses or confuses words.

2 2 (4%) points

The essay generally uses words correctly but may use a limited selection of words or suffer from inconsistencies in tone or level of diction.

3 3 (6%) points

The essay generally uses an appropriate tone and level of diction, including precise and specific words.

4 4 (8%) points

The essay uses an appropriate tone and level of diction, including precise and specific words appropriate to its purpose and audience.

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Mechanics3.75 (7.5%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay has significant errors in basic grammar, punctuation, mechanics, and spelling.

2 2.5 (5%) points

The essay includes only a few major errors but may have minor errors in grammar, punctuation, mechanics, and spelling.

3 3.75 (7.5%) points

The essay generally uses grammar, punctuation, mechanics, and spelling appropriate for college essays but may have a few inadvertent errors or problems with complicated issues.

4 5 (10%) points

The essay uses grammar, punctuation, mechanics, and spelling appropriate for college essays with only occasional minor errors.

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Research skills6.25 (12.5%)

Levels of Achievement:

1 0 (0%) points

The essay lacks a research strategy and an understanding of how sources are selected, used, and presented.

2 6.25 (12.5%) points

The essay contains a minimal research strategy and some understanding of the selection, use, and presentation of sources.

3 9.38 (18.75%) points

The essay demonstrates a good research strategy and understanding of the selection, use, and presentation of sources.

4 12.5 (25%) points

The essay demonstrates an effective research strategy and mastery of the selection, use, and presentation of sources. appropriately and effectively organized to present varied and convincing evidence that supports its point.

Feedback:

There's pretty much only one source here: Boudinot. Alcantud-Diaz is useful for one sentence that is merely descriptive and does not illuminate the topic. You need 2 more good secondary sourcs. In-text citations and works cited are incorrect in various ways. Check the Lib Guide. Don't you need a citation for the remark about Darwin (p.5)?

The rubric total value of 24.50 has been overridden with a value of 50 out of 50.0.

Feedback to Learner

Lots of work to do!

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