reading and writing assignment

Emotions

So many experiences have been shared in our lifetime.

As children, the familiar, gentle hands, strong voices, and open hearts surround us.

As adults we go our separate ways,

Taking in the sprinkling of emotions displayed by those around us, savoring the bits and pieces, Enjoying the pleasant, a warm smile, a tender touch of the hand embracing your shoulder, and on those rare occasions, a magical kiss upon your lips so sweet.

These turns in life have shown too the depths of hate and judgment people inflict upon each other senselessly.

Many have been a victim of this wrath of unjust punishment.

Wherever you go, be assured that the love embedded in the vestibule of your heart has endless reserve to sooth your loneliness, wash away your tears and comfort you in times of despair.

The memories of those who have sprinkled your life with love, and nourished your soul have given you the capacity to love so splendidly,

With laughter, empathy, feather-like touches and your heart open and receptive to embrace the human spirit of love

Love never fails to rise to the occasion, oozing smoothly to embrace you.

The sparks of living are ever present, simply because you are loved and capable of loving.

—Courtesy of Maria Napoli

In your daily mindfulness practice, you will experience strong emotions that are sometimes pleasant and sometimes unpleasant. When we welcome all of our emotions with acceptance and curiosity, we offer ourselves the opportunity to fully experience even the smallest mundane event with a fresh look by seeing the details of the experience that may have been overlooked had we not been paying attention. After all, these are our life experiences, however small or large, and whether or not they feel good. Since we experience our emotions consistently, every day, why not mindfully accept and embrace them?

Fatality of Fear

Fear and anger are the strongest emotions that prevent us from living mindfully. These stress emotions can have a fatal impact on our lives when they are not managed, if they become overwhelming, or even worse, if they are a part of our daily lives. When we move into the emotions of anger and fear, our nervous system goes into the flight, fight, or freeze response, telling the body that it is in immediate danger. When the human organism perceives a threat, it activates the endocrine system, releasing an army of hormones to stimulate the body systems necessary for immediate survival, while suppressing those systems that are not needed for immediate survival such as the digestive and immune systems. This works beautifully when immediate survival is necessary but can be incredibly detrimental when we live in a heightened state of alert because our emotions are controlling us rather than we controlling our emotions. This is where mindfulness can be lifesaving; it allows you to step back and observe the emotions rather than become the emotions.

The negative impact of anger on overall emotional and physical health cannot be disputed. Volumes of literature have shown the often life-threatening consequences related to anger.1 We often hear people say things like “I was so mad I thought I was going to have a heart attack.” Simple phrases like this have become part of everyday language, yet the negative impact of anger on heart health is real. Research has found a direct correlation between cardiovascular disease and anger when the HPA axis and the sympathetic nervous system is activated, releasing stress hormones, which results in various events such as hemodynamic (blood to the heart) and metabolic (process of cells producing energy) modifications, vascular problems, and disorders of cardiac rhythm. This may sound quite scientific, yet the bottom line is that drowning ourselves in negative emotions can have a devastating impact on our lives.

The Frog and the Crocodile

A frog was happily jumping from one water lily to another when she spotted a crocodile swimming lazily nearby. She was a confident and playful frog, yet she felt her fear and stress rise as the crocodile came closer. The crocodile said, “I wish I could jump from water lily to water lily like you. I am so big all I can do is float around all day.” The frog did not allow her fear to get the best of her and said, “You are quite majestic, Mr. Crocodile, and much too large to jump on a water lily. You would sink to the bottom of the river. Look at those rocks sitting so smooth in the sunshine down the river. I bet it would be fun for you to crawl from rock to rock while bathing in the sun.” The crocodile smiled at the idea and swam away happily toward the rocks. The frog quickly jumped to safety and felt a sigh of relief. She said to herself, “If my fear of that crocodile got the best of me I may have never sat upon another water lily!”

Ails of Anger

It is not uncommon to find ourselves eating poorly as a result of negative emotions. Does this sound familiar? When we are angry with our boss or we have a fight with our partner, the desire to impulsively pack down a pizza or a pint of ice cream to soothe or cool down the anger occurs. Food and emotions are highly correlated whether one does not eat or eats too much. Binge eating and vomiting were found to be associated with anger and increased with impulsivity.3 Anger has also been associated with developing type 2 diabetes. A study of trait anger temperament in diabetic adults found that those with the highest levels of trait anger temperament scores had a 34% increased risk of developing diabetes when compared to those in the lowest levels of trait anger. It has been suggested that individuals experiencing high trait anger temperament may be more inclined to obesity, more likely to smoke, and to eat high calorie foods.4

Road Rage may soon become a new category of emotional illness! Driving is an every day occurrence for many of us. People take their emotions on the road, subjecting others to danger. Remember, “wherever you go there you are”—taking your baggage with you. We all may have experienced being angry while driving or have been the victim of another driver’s anger and aggression on the road. It’s not a pleasant experience and has had fatal outcomes for many drivers. Anger has been associated with a high risk of road accidents. Research has also found a correlation between angry drivers and crashes as these drivers lose control of their vehicles and concentration.5 Fear and anger activate the stress response and hold us prisoner in fight or flight. It is true that we cannot live our lives without experiencing fear and anger, yet it is the inability to manage these emotions that keeps us cemented in the past and takes up space in the present. Due to the pain and discomfort that these emotions elicit, we frequently repress, deny, fight off, resist, or project them onto others. Unawareness or rejection of our emotions does not make them go away. Emotions that are repressed or rejected show up unexpectedly and control our experiences.

When we befriend our emotions and welcome them, we give them less power to influence and control us. Mindfully moving through the discomfort can put us back in charge of our lives. Let’s take a look at the direction we all want to go—being happy! How does happiness and joy impact our lives? If you are interested in living a longer life get happy! You may have figured out at this point of reading through the chapters and practicing the activities in Tools for Mindful Living that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING! The plethora of literature written on the benefits of happiness and how being positive influences health and longevity is compelling.6 A study of almost five thousand students who completed an optimism scale when they entered college were followed for 40 years. This study found that those students who were pessimistic had lower rates of longevity when compared to the optimistic students.7

The benefits of a positive relationship between animals and humans are well known. People who have pets experience joy, love, and companionship. Pets are part of our family, yet only in the past decade have we explored how many ways our pets positively impact our lives. We know how animals make humans feel, yet we may consider how we make our animals feel. Recently research has found that happy animals experience increased health, heal faster8, and have improved immune systems.9

There are so many ways for us to be connected to life that brings us happiness. When one thinks of happiness, we must include the joy we receive from being in nature. Historically humans have had an intimate relationship with nature and a deep respect for it. We still need nature and nature still needs us, but humans have grossly neglected nature’s needs as the growth of industrialization has moved us away from nature. Nature, like our bodies, always responds to healing and nourishment given the opportunity. Nothing has changed in this respect and we are now realizing how important our relationship to nature truly is. Research has found that there is a strong relationship between nature and being happy.10 Most of us who revel in the beauty of nature do not need research to remind us of the joy we experience by feeling the wind, listening to the birds sing, hearing the waves crash in the ocean, being mesmerized by sunsets, smelling the flowers, and even feeling the dirt and grass under our feet.

The birth of social networks has expanded the connections among people worldwide. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, blogging, and various other networks keep the conversations going 24 hours a day. It is not unusual to hear someone you know say, “I have 200 friends on Facebook.” One wonders what that level of friendship really means? A survey that evaluated subjective well being compared face-to-face and on-line social networks. Having real-life friends regardless of income, demographics, and personality differences was positively correlated with subjective well being. Having real-life friends was more important for individuals who were single, divorced, separated or widowed than for those who were married or living with a partner. Interestingly, having on-line friends had zero or negative correlations with subjective well being.11 Simply stated, it matters to actually spend physical time with our friends. We can hug, enjoy the physical space, share a meal, and pick up on nuances, all of which add up to feeling good.

A study that evaluated happiness within social networks found that happy people tend to be connected to one another.12 This connection speaks to the spread of positive emotions that can reach millions of individuals. Sharing happiness has benefits beyond the individual and can have a major impact on the societies we live in. If we spend more time considering if members of our community are happy and take into consideration the positive emotional benefits one can receive when administering legislation, we could be living in a very different society. If happy people are healthier, it can reduce the costs of health care. When people are engaged in more positive relationships, there can be a reduction in crime, less abuse in relationships and overall, we can create an environment for people to enjoy living.

Living mindfully frees us from getting caught up in our emotions. The MAC steps are: acknowledge our emotions with empathy for ourselves, pay attention to how we are experiencing the emotions, and accept them without judgment. This is our ammunition to disengage from the hold those emotions have on us to assist in choosing how we show up for our experience.

When we mindfully accept our emotions, they have less control over us. How? By accepting our emotional experience, we complete the experience without leftovers or residue. We can move on more openly as the feelings no longer have the intensity of the original experience.

MAC Your Emotions

Emotions, like breath, are the barometer of what is going on in our lives. If you reflect upon your day, ask yourself, “How do I feel?” Chances are your emotions are changing from moment to moment based on the many experiences you encounter. These emotional experiences can be life enhancing or devastating depending upon how you accept, reject, or deal with your emotions. One might say that emotions are the spice of life, changing all the time, offering new and challenging experiences, and calling upon us to find new ways to express them.

Empathically Acknowledge

Emotions can often be difficult to acknowledge. People spend a great deal of time avoiding, repressing, denying, and rationalizing their emotions. When we do not

acknowledge emotions, we set ourselves up for repetition of the same experiences that cause us discomfort. Take a chance on yourself and acknowledge each and every emotion that colors your life.

Intentional Attention

We all have times when our mindlessness controls our emotions. When you allow your thoughts to take you out of the moment, your emotions are not fully experienced or experienced at all. Bring awareness to your breath, how your muscles feel, and to changes in body temperature. Most important, ask yourself how often you intentionally pay attention to your instincts.

Nonjudgmental Acceptance

Once you acknowledge your feelings and pay attention to what is going on in relation to them, give yourself permission to accept whatever you are feeling without judgment. Remember you are entitled to all of your feelings. The danger occurs when you react to your emotions instead of respond to them. Accept your feelings without judgment and open the door for intimacy and empathy toward yourself and others.

Willingly Choose

When we acknowledge, pay attention to, and accept our emotions without judgment, the window for change is infinite. Remember that what we do with our emotions has a direct impact on our health. The relationship between negative emotions and disease is not a mystery. This is not to say that we dismiss negative emotions; the point is that it is only when you respond to your emotions that you afford yourself the opportunity for change and choice. I cannot think of anyone who is happy being stuck in negative emotions, yet having those emotions is a part of life. It’s what we do with them that makes the difference!