revision of fiction essay

Amal Alshanbari

January 28, 2016

Ms. Heicher

First draft of first essay

Pamelump Comment by Rachel D Heicher: Give the essay a title of its own instead of using the title of the story.

The story has been beautifully written by Anna Livia, who has discussed the main theme of the story very thought provokingly. The story revolves around a young girl, Pamela, who likes to be called, “Pamelump.” The tragedy of her life was that she was born without arms and legs. The author has highlighted the struggle of a handicapped person very beautifully. Pamelump was a strong girl, who also pretended to be okay with her flaws, but always hated when children used to stare at her. The main theme of the story is the struggle of a little girl, who was naturally born without arms and legs. Wendy, her best and only friend, used to take care of her, who was also getting paid by Pamela’s mother. The author has very beautifully depicted the love of Wendy for Pamelump. Only she was the one who could see the inner misery of Pamelump and that how hard it was for her to live in the world of the normal people (Livia). Comment by Rachel D Heicher: So what? Push your thesis farther so that readers understand the significance of the story. What do we learn about life or about human nature from “Pamelump”? Why is it important?

The theme of the story focuses on the internal feelings of the little girl, who was already aware of the fact that she was going to die at the age of puberty, but wanted to die sooner than that. Sometimes, she used to get completely hopeless. “I want to die,” she said. “Why?” Because I’m getting older.” (Livia 22). The statement clearly depicts how hopeless she was, as she was already aware of the fact that she was going to die soon. The author makes the readers aware of the fact that how hard it is for such people to survive in this “normal” world. In the eyes of the world, she was always seen as a burden, for whom it was better to die and the harsh reality was that she was aware of all these facts (Livia).

The theme of the story is that it is not easy for everybody to live the life easily. For some people it is curse, rather than a blessing and same was the case with Pamelump. When children used to ask her different questions about the way she was, sometimes, she got angry. The children used to stare at her, whereas, the parents used to look away, without caring that how hurt she used to get because of that. The world is cruel and it never accepts someone who is not “normal” as per the set standards. Pamelump was handicapped and dependent on others to perform the normal tasks, so she was not normal for the world. “Where’s your legs? Why’ve you got no legs?” (Livia 13). Such questions used to break her heart. People never considered her normal.

At the end, when she died, it was like that the world got rid of a burden. She committed suicide because she had enough. She knew that she was going to die soon, but she preferred dying earlier and asked Wendy to stay with her till she died. This shows their love for each other. She realized that she was not even able to get off of her chair to pick something. The theme of the story portrays that it is a very hard thing to be dependent on someone, especially in this cruel society. The author has very beautifully depicted the love of Wendy for Pamelump. Only she was the one who could see the inner misery of Pamelump and that how hard it was for her to live in the world of the normal people (Livia). Comment by Rachel D Heicher: Of what? Does she feel like a burden? Do you think she commits suicide to relieve the burden on others or for herself? Comment by Rachel D Heicher: Give your reader a separate paragraph to serve as the conclusion. We need to feel a sense of closure at the end, as though we’ve understood something about the story that we may not have before reading your essay.