ENG work week 5

I really love this topic for this essay! It was great to read about your experiences as a father. 

Here is what I would like you to work on:

Rather than giving an overview of what being a father is like, focus on one moment; for instance, you say that you remember the details of Michael's birth like it was yesterday--why do you tell us that story. Right now, your essay is not focused on a single moment, so work on focusing it. You have a few sentences that need to be clearer, so work on those as well. 

 If you have any questions about my comments here or on the essay itself, please email me. 

(7.6 / 10) Assignment Requirements

Basic - The draft meets the minimum word count requirement. The content may be so raw as to make providing feedback on organization and content difficult. The draft may be missing the appropriate formatting.

(0 / 0) Structure

Basic - Essay contains a thesis or controlling idea; however, it either does not appear in the introduction or it lacks sufficient focus. The thesis is developed through a paragraph structure, although not all paragraphs contain a topic sentence that states what the paragraph proves and advances the thesis. The conclusion either does not refer back to the essay's thesis, or does not summarize the main points. The paper does not end with a persuasive statement, or the statement is weak and unconvincing.

(0 / 0) Development

Basic - Essay's thesis or controlling idea is developed in the body of the paper, although the sequence of ideas lacks logic or focus. Some paragraphs lack examples, detail, and/or relevance to the main idea. Essay is 550 to 800 words in length.

(0 / 0) Style

Basic - Essay utilizes at least two of the elements that define narrative and/or description, such as character, plot, purpose, action, and point-of-view. Essay uses language that is mostly appropriate to audience and purpose, although three to five errors exist in word choice, sentence construction, and clarity.

(0 / 0) Grammar

Proficient - Essay uses the proper conventions of the English language. Three to five errors are present in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure, but they do not detract from the development of ideas.

(0 / 0) APA Formatting

Distinguished - Essay uses accurate APA formatting consistently throughout the paper.

Overall Score: 7.6 / 10