ESSAY REVISION NEEDED!!!
kyl.po
everett_draft_1_graded.docxDaunte Everett Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Size isn't necessary. I may be getting old and blind, but I'm not that blind. Review the MLA guidelines for formatting essays.
4/1/16
Essay 1 (AML2020):
(Word Count: 790)
“Good Country People” by Joy “Hulga” Hopewell to me, happens to be one of the most thrilling and ironic characters that was ever created by Flannery O’Connor. The way she loved irony was one like no matter, as the story goes on it’s very easy to conclude that Hulga, doesn’t know who she really is and doesn’t have a truly deep understanding of herself. Although she takes pride in reading and having knowledge. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Flannery O'Connor wrote the story; Joy/Hulga is merely a character. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Get rid of every "I," "you," and any of their forms that aren't in a direct quote. Each one will cost you 2 points. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: O'connor? Comment by Elisabeth Clark: ??? Comment by Elisabeth Clark: This isn't an intro ¶ beacuse it doesn't address the irony of ALL the characters' names (which was the assignment); in fact, it doesn't bring up the idea of names at all, and there is no thesis statement that encompasses the point that you're going to make in the essay. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: fragmented sentence--make sure you proofread carefully.
The second main character is Manley, this young man was going door to door selling bibles, which Mrs. Freeman was telling him she didn’t want one. This is when this line starts to take place. Throughout this story, the author talks about how hard it is for Hulga in this time and day, how hard it is for her to find “good country people”. Although she is very honest, she is very right about how hard it is to find real good honest people. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Use present tense throughout your essay. This is the only one I'm going to highlight, so make sure you get the rest of them. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: What point are you trying to make in this ¶?
Mrs. Freeman also has a daughter, who seem calls Joy, even though Joy legally changed her name to Hulga. Hulga is disabled, she has had a fake leg ever since she was a cold. Throughout this story, we truly find out and learn that Mr. Pointer is actually not a “good country person”, to be honest in fact he is a con artist. We come to find out especially when he takes Hulga on a walk and steals her leg. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Mrs. Hopewell is Joy/Hulga's mother. Mrs. Freeman has two daughters. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Again, what point are you trying to make in this ¶?
What many people fail to realize is that, her religion was Catholicism in which describes the south as haunted by Christ for some odd reason. The protagonist in the story, would of course be the mom and daughter (Joy and Hulga). In which they self-proclaim a lot of things, without really getting the same feedback and validation from others. The way they thought and went about their daily’s live, was somewhat of strange like and interesting to really dissect. However it is explained very well by Flanner O’Connor who exposes Joy/ Hulga and the education/knowledge she things she was, but it’s really just what the parent taught her and what she learned from her upbringings. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: whose? and where is this info coming from? Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Point of this ¶?
She kind of creates this illusion, between what is real and what is not real. She believed all these unusual facts and just turned those facts in to her reality but not really, if you’re getting my drift and the direction I was trying to show the lesson I learned throughout this story. But it is very interested to see that the mindset of the main characters was so profound and identical, their thought process was very misaligned and their belief system, or their lack of belief in the system they thought they believed, made everything even more interesting and difficult to interpret. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: who? Comment by Elisabeth Clark: No, no, and no. I'm not getting what you're trying to say, but that statement is completely inappropriate for ANY essay b/c the reader should be able to understand what you're trying to say. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Very interesting ideas, but they need to be explored in MUCH more detail.
The section that was most impressing in the reading and which I learned the most was how she when she was scared instead of trying to do or figure out everything on her own, what she had done was made a good decision by confronting him with her mother about everything process from her mother. The line about it being hard to meet and interact with “good country people” but the irony really lies, in the fact that Manley Pointer is exactly what she professes to be and the type of example she was professing about, him ultimately not being a good country person. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: who?
Her logical thinking and extension of what she believed and the way she believed it, was just proved to be that. Although Joy was stripped of her belief entirely, ultimately being left in a loft. She was left wondering throughout the story, what is it that you can do when you have nothing taken away from you. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: If you have nothing taken away from you, then you're the same as you were before.
Ultimately throughout her experience and the story, she starts to realize that she does actually care for people but she has a weak heart physically but she doesn’t come to the realization of how weak she was spiritually in terms of her heart as well with being compassionate and ultimately concerned for others as well. Comment by Elisabeth Clark: textual support?
“Woman! Do you ever look inside? Do you ever look inside and see what you are not? God!” Comment by Elisabeth Clark: Why is this quote its own ¶, and what does it have to do with anything?
In my opinion, the amount of irony that came from this story was very numerous and so many that you could have picked and chosen from. It’s very interested, how hard it was for Hulga to change and ultimately come to grip that’s she isn’t really who or what she thinks she is. She never looks inside and really has no idea or clue, what she is not.
Works Cited:
Shmoop Editorial Team. "Manley Pointer Timeline in Good Country People."Shmoop.com. Shmoop University, Inc., 11 Nov. 2008. Web. 01 Apr. 2016.
"O'Connor's Short Stories." "Good Country People" N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Apr. 2016.
Review the following documents:
Format for Essays and How to Write About Literature (Assignment Requirements module)
Thesis statement pages (Assignment Topics module)
Writing about lit and reading a text links (Research module)
In-text citations with Works Cited entry (MLA module)
Sample essays (attached to email)
There are some good beginnings of ideas here, but for the most part, the essay is one big ramble with no structure or sense of organization.
1. Work on an intro ¶ and thesis statement that encompasses the topic (the irony of the characters’ names) and presents the point you’re going to make in the essay.
2. Make it clear in each body ¶ exactly what the ¶ is about.
3. Use support from the text to back up your points. See the sample essays for examples.
