For Kim Woods

4.      Rackow, S. H. (2002). How the USA Patriot Act Will Permit Governmental Infringement upon the Privacy of Americans in the Name of" Intelligence" Investigations. University of Pennsylvania Law Review, 150(5), 1651-1696.

     This article throws a light on the patriot act of USA and how this act is justifying too much of surveillance by the government. The government is using this act to justify the action of over spying. They are using the new technologies to do so. While doing so the citizen’s privacy is compromised sometimes and their stress level is increased. Just the mere thought that someone is watching over them is leading to this. The author has got into details and clearly analyzed all of these facts in detail.

INSTRUCTOR’S FEEDBACK/GRADE…

I love the first thesis statement as it seems more focused.  Re: While some feel that compromising on individual rights to privacy would hinder personal space and give government a chance to spy on citizens, national security is more important as safety of citizens cannot be compromised. I, however, would love to see you add three distinct reasons to the end of the thesis statement to clarify what three main supporting points you are going to make.  What are your three main supporting arguments going to be?  Additionally, you've done an awesome job with your APA formatting and annotated bibliography.   Wonderful overall work! 

Week 3, Assignment 3: LASA 1: Full Sentence Outline

A full sentence outline will build on the information you presented in your research proposal. Following the format described in the “Outline Format and Example” lecture in this module, you will write an introduction paragraph for your essay, outline topic sentences for each supporting point, list sub-points to be included in each paragraph, detail and address counter-arguments to your thesis, and write a conclusion paragraph for your paper. In addition, you will be utilizing your research sources to provide additional support for your thesis statement.

This assignment represents a crucial step toward the development of your final paper. To ensure you complete your outline thoroughly and accurately, keep the following tips in mind:

· Review the Outline Format and Example reading and the rubric before you begin to ensure you address all necessary requirements.

· Use complete sentences at all stages of your outline to clearly convey your ideas.

· Incorporate information from your sources where appropriate, remembering to always use citations to credit others’ words and ideas.

· Organize your points in a way that makes sense for your particular topic.

· Follow APA formatting guidelines for your in-text citations and references list.

· Check your work for spelling, grammar, and sentence structure errors before submitting.

By Wednesday, March 16, 2016, using the previously discussed format from the online course content, “ Outline Format and Example, ” create a full sentence outline and submit it to the M3: Assignment 3 Dropbox. Use the file-naming format: LastName_First Intitial_ENG101_M3_A3Outline.

WHAT I SUBMITTED…

IMPORTANCE OF NATIONAL SECURITY

INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH

While some feel that compromising on individual rights to privacy would hinder personal space and give government a chance to spy on citizens, national security is more important as safety of citizens cannot be compromised. National security is of utmost importance and given the today’s scenario where a large amount of information is present on the internet, it has become more vulnerable to hackers and other agencies. Thus, to ensure that the safety of citizens is not compromised, the government collects millions of data which are the phone logs, the emails and the internet activity. This data helps them keep a check on each and every citizen and they can track any suspicious activity from this.

SUPPORTING POINT 1

The utmost importance should be given to the safety of citizens and it should not be compromised with anything.

· If citizens allow the government to keep surveillance on them, the government would be able to do its task more efficiently.

· Government can easily identify any suspect or suspicious activity through call logs and emails. This can help them combat any terror attacks.

· Government can also seek the help of citizens to identify any suspects and citizens should help the government in making the effort a success.

· Also, one can also argue the importance of right to privacy here which gets compromised here while doing the surveillance but if citizens have nothing to hide, they should not fear from it.

SUPPORTING POINT 2

Terror attacks are increasing day by day and hackers are trying to get into our system and steal the important information from here. If we want to combat it, then national security and laws need to be made firm.

· The only way we can prevent and stop any terror activities is by preparing enough and catching hold of them in the beginning.

· In order to catch them in the beginning the support of citizens is very crucial.

· Citizens should help the government in spying and government should also ensure that the right to privacy is not compromised.

· Also, when one wants to fight the terrorists, everyone needs to be aware and assist the government.

SUPPORTING POINT 3

If strict immigration laws are made and security checks is increased in the airports, then it can help fight the terror attacks.

· Increasing security checks would send a strong message to the terrorists that nation is prepared and any activity by them would be taken care of.

· This would also mean that they would be prevented from entering the nation.

· Any illegal drugs or arms would be prevented from entering the nation and people who are caught with them would be dealt with strictly.

· Citizens should not a [problem with strict checks as these checks are only done to ensure their safety.

COUNTER-ARGUMENT 1

While doing the strict surveillance government sometimes end up discriminating against minorities or some class of the society which they found to be suspects.

· This harms their feelings and emotions and they are made to feel that they are not a part of the system.

· Discrimination in any form is bad and biasing and treating suspected individuals without any proof would violate their civil right as an individual.

· Civil rights and right to privacy is granted by the constitution and they should not be taken lightly. Government should not take it away from some citizens just on the name of surveillance.

RESOPONSE TO COUNTER-ARGUMENT 1

While the civil liberties and the right to privacy are granted by the constitution, the governments in ensuring the safety of entire citizen goes too far and end of hurting the sentiments of few people. But national security comes first no matter what.

· Government has to become very strict and firm with the checks since the terror activities are at its peak.

· The terror agencies are looking for a chance and mistake by the government and they would not stop. In order to fight them, sometimes government end up crossing the limit but the only purpose was to ensure safety to all.

· If a person Is not at fault then there is no need to get scared. Rather they should be supportive of the endeavor taken by the government.

COUNTER-ARGUMENT 2

Since government is spying on citizens and it has all the data collected from them at one place, the hackers and terror groups are looking for a chance to hack into our lives and steal all the information from us.

· Government has the call logs and emails and personal data of all the citizens. If the hacker group hacks this data, then it would mean problem to all.

· The data is very vulnerable and can be used against the government.

· Hackers can forge the data and use it to their advantage.

RESPONSE TO COUNTER-ARGUMENT 2

Though the data is vulnerable but the IT department of the government can find solution to save the data from the hackers.

· Data can distribute and placed at different places so that all the data would never come in the hands of the hackers.

· By outsourcing the data to safer agencies, the safety to all can be ensured.

· The technology can be researched and improved to make it secure and hackers should not get into this new technology.

CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH

As we see that the national security is only meant to ensure the safety to all, the nation should come together to assist the government in this endeavor. Since we are looking at a bigger picture here, so if national security would mean strict surveillance then citizens should contribute towards it.

REFERENCES

1. Bowyer, K. W. (2004). Face recognition technology: security versus privacy.Technology and Society Magazine, IEEE, 23(1), 9-19.

2. Bush, G. W. (2002). The national security strategy of the United States of America. EXECUTIVE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT WASHINGTON DC.

3. Clinton, B. (1994). National security strategy of engagement and enlargement. The White House; For sale by the USGPO, Supt. of Docs..

4. Emerson, T. I. (1976). Legal foundations of the right to know. Wash. ULQ, 1.

5. Gaddis, J. L. (1982). Strategies of containment: A critical appraisal of postwar American national security policy (Vol. 690). Oxford University Press, USA.

6. Fischer-Hübner, S. (2001). IT-security and privacy: design and use of privacy-enhancing security mechanisms. Springer-Verlag.

7. Melanson, P. H. (2002). Secrecy Wars: National Security, Privacy and the Public's Right to Know. Brassey's Inc.

8. Mell, P. (2002). Big Brother at the door: Balancing national security with privacy under the USA PATRIOT Act. Denv. UL Rev., 80, 375.

INSTRUCTOR’S FEEDBACK/GRADE…

Thank you for this submission!  Overall, you have such a strong basis for this essay, so don’t underestimate how well you’ve set yourself up for success.  The major thing missing is your research.  If you look at the sample assignment, you can see that you needed to include paraphrased research and a few cited direct quotes as well to support your overall arguments.  I did not see this.  Please see the attached feedback for more information, and please reach out to me if you have any questions or concerns!  Keep building this essay!  You have a strong basis on which to build!  Keep working hard!  You’ve got this!

IMPORTANCE OF NATIONAL SECURITY

INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH

     While some feel that compromising on individual’s rights to privacy would hinder personal space and give government a chance to spy on citizens, national security is more important as the safety of citizens cannot be compromised. This is your thesis statement and as such, it needs to be placed in the last sentence of your intro paragraph. In connection, you are missing your hook.  How could you use a hook to begin this essay?  If you need help with a hook, here is a site I made for you: http://prezi.com/bm125kck_zby/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy      National security is of utmost importance and given the today’s scenario where a large amount of information is present on the internet, it has become more vulnerable to hackers and other agencies.  Thus, to ensure that the safety of citizens is not compromised, the government collects millions types of of data which are the phone logs, the emails(comma needed.  See: http://www.grammarly.com/blog/2015/what-is-the-oxford-comma-and-why-do-people-care-so-much-about-it/ ) and theinternet activity. This data helps them keep a check on each and every citizen and they can track any suspicious activity from this. 

SUPPORTING POINT 1

The utmost importance should be given to the safety of citizens and it should not be compromised in any way. with anything. Great sub-topic to use to start your essay!

         If citizens allow the government to keep surveillance on them, the government would be able to do its task more efficiently.

         Government can easily identify any suspect or suspicious activity through call logs and emails. This can help them combat any terror attacks.

         Government can also seek the help of citizens to identify any suspects and citizens should help the government in making the effort a success.

         Also, one can also argue the importance of right to privacy here which gets compromised here while doing the surveillance but if citizens have nothing to hide, they should not fear from it. This is a counter-argument and a response to the counter-argument.  Please note this below. 

SUPPORTING POINT 2

Terror attacks are increasing day by day and hackers are trying to get into our (Please avoid all first (our, I, we, my, etc.) and second person (you, your, etc.) references.  Apply this to both your intro and concluding paragraphs.  You can do it!)     system and steal the important information from here. If we want to combat it, then national security and laws need to be made firm.

         The only way we can prevent and stop any terror activities is by preparing enough and catching hold of them in the beginning.

         In order to catch them in the beginning the support of citizens is very crucial.

         Citizens should help the government in spying and government should also ensure that the right to privacy is not compromised.

         Also, when one wants to fight the terrorists, everyone needs to be aware and assist the government. Yet another sound sub-topic to discuss!

SUPPORTING POINT 3

If strict immigration laws are made and security checks is increased in the airports, then it can help fight the terror attacks.

         Increasing security checks would send a strong message to the terrorists that nation is prepared and any activity by them would be taken care of.

         This would also mean that they would be prevented from entering the nation.

         Any illegal drugs or arms would be prevented from entering the nation and people who are caught with them would be dealt with strictly.

         Citizens should not a [problem with strict checks as these checks are only done to ensure their safety. This would be a solid sub-topic to use to round out your main supporting points!

COUNTER-ARGUMENT 1

While doing the strict surveillance government sometimes end up discriminating against minorities or some class of the society which they found to be suspects.

         This harms their feelings and emotions and they are made to feel that they are not a part of the system.

         Discrimination in any form is bad and biasing and treating suspected individuals without any proof would violate their civil right as an individual.

         Civil rights and right to privacy is granted by the constitution and they should not be taken lightly. Government should not take it away from some citizens just on the name of surveillance. Excellent counter-arguments to note! 

RESOPONSE TO COUNTER-ARGUMENT 1

While the civil liberties and the right to privacy are granted by the constitution, the governments in ensuring the safety of entire citizen goes too far and end of hurting the sentiments of few people. But (Try not to start sentences with coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.)  national security comes first no matter what.

         Government has to become very strict and firm with the checks since the terror activities are at its peak.

         The terror agencies are looking for a chance and mistake by the government and they would not stop. In order to fight them, sometimes government end up crossing the limit but the only purpose was to ensure safety to all.

         If a person Is not at fault then there is no need to get scared. Rather they should be supportive of the endeavor taken by the government. Great responses to your counter-argument! 

COUNTER-ARGUMENT 2

Since government is spying on citizens and it has all the data collected from them at one place, the hackers and terror groups are looking for a chance to hack into our lives and steal all the information from us.

         Government has the call logs and emails and personal data of all the citizens. If the hacker group hacks this data, then it would mean problem to all.

         The data is very vulnerable and can be used against the government.

         Hackers can forge the data and use it to their advantage.

RESPONSE TO COUNTER-ARGUMENT 2

Though the data is vulnerable(comma needed)  but the IT department of the government can find solution to save the data from the hackers.

         Data can distribute and placed at different places so that all the data would never come in the hands of the hackers.

         By outsourcing the data to safer agencies, the safety to all can be ensured.

         The technology can be researched and improved to make it secure and hackers should not get into this new technology. Good responses! 

CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH

As we see that the national security is only meant to ensure the safety to all, the nation should come together to assist the government in this endeavor. Since we are looking at a bigger picture here, so if national security would mean strict surveillance then citizens should contribute towards it.  Great start to this ending!  Your concluding paragraph should begin with your rephrased thesis statement, summarize some key facts, and end with something to ponder.  How can this requirement be met in the future? 

Please do apply all of the suggestions I have made above and please let me know if you have any questions!  Going forward, also, please apply all feedback suggestions from Module 2 and 3.  Looking forward to your revisions! 

REFERENCES

1.      Bowyer, K. W. (2004). Face recognition technology: security versus privacy. Technology and Society Magazine, IEEE, 23(1), 9-19.

2.      Bush, G. W. (2002). The national security strategy of the United States of America. EXECUTIVE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT WASHINGTON DC.

3.      Clinton, B. (1994). National security strategy of engagement and enlargement. The White House; For sale by the USGPO, Supt. of Docs..

4.      Emerson, T. I. (1976). Legal foundations of the right to know. Wash. ULQ, 1.

5.      Gaddis, J. L. (1982). Strategies of containment: A critical appraisal of postwar American national security policy (Vol. 690). Oxford University Press, USA.

6.      Fischer-Hübner, S. (2001). IT-security and privacy: design and use of privacy-enhancing security mechanisms. Springer-Verlag.

7.      Melanson, P. H. (2002). Secrecy Wars: National Security, Privacy and the Public's Right to Know. Brassey's Inc.

8.       Mell, P. (2002). Big Brother at the door: Balancing national security with privacy under the USA PATRIOT Act. Denv. UL Rev., 80, 375. Great list of resources, but I did not see any in-text citations noting direct quotes or paraphrased information from these sources. 

Week 4, Assignment 1: Incorporating Sources

To complete this discussion assignment, choose one  of the sources you will be utilizing in your final paper. Then, using one passage from that source, provide an example of a quotation, an example of a paraphrase, and an example of a summary from that passage.  Be sure that the passage you have chosen is at least 75 words. It’s important to use the same passage for your quote, paraphrase, and summary so we can compare how each source use method works with the same information. Provide an APA formatted in-text citation for each of your source use examples, and a reference list citation for the source you used in your examples.

Then, in a separate paragraph of 150 to 200 words, discuss how you perceive the differences between quotations, paraphrases, and summaries. When would it be appropriate to use each of those methods? How will you incorporate quotations, paraphrases, and summaries in your own paper?

By the end of the module, comment on at least two of your classmates' submissions. Your replies to classmates should offer guidance regarding source use, ethical scholarship, and APA format. Is each quotation, paraphrase, and summary executed and cited appropriately? Is the information conveyed in a meaningful way that would be appropriate to use in an academic paper? Have your classmates’ postings given you additional ideas to consider regarding source use in your own paper?

Your responses to your peers' writing should be a good paragraph in length and should include specifics from the text if you are attempting to make a point.

By Saturday, March 19, 2016, post to the Discussion Area your examples of a quotation, a paraphrase, and a summary as well as a brief explanation of how you plan to use sources within your essay. Use the Grading Criteria for this section to ensure you have done a good job with your demonstration of source usage and your explanation.

WHAT I SUBMITTED…

Incorporating Sources

     In the final paper I will be using (Garlinger, 2009) paper on privacy, free speech and patriot act. The passage that I chose from this paper is as follows:-

“The second major cause of increased government access to private information is the amount of that information now available from third parties. We place considerably more information in the hands of third parties, particularly in ISPs, than we have in the past. Much of our communication, in the form of emails, text messages, and blogs, now passes through ISPs. Similarly, we increasingly conduct many of our financial transactions online (e.g., purchases, banking). Since Congress has never clearly defined “electronic communication transaction record,” an NSL could obtain email “envelope information,” including IP addresses, the names of senders and recipients, subject lines, and dates, all of which are often recorded by an ISP.5”

Quoting the Reference

Critics have talked about how government can get access to large information which is recorded in ISPs and they can easily obtain it from third party (Garlinger, 2009).

Summary of the Reference

     The passage explains why the government gets an access to large information about citizens. Government can intrude into our privacy because this large information can be obtained from a third party and citizens are themselves placing these data onto the hands of large parties. The data is reaching to third parties in the form of communication or messages, emails, and texts exchanged by using services from the third parties. The records which are obtained are not clearly defined by the congress. This is leading to government intruding on the privacy as these data are recorded on ISPs.

Garlinger, P. P. (2009). Privacy, Free Speech, and the Patriot Act: First and Fourth Amendment Limits on National Security Letters. NYUL Rev., 84, 1105.

Paraphrasing the Reference

     Another major reason as to why government can get an access to data is that these data can be easily obtained from a third party as while communicating through blogs, emails or texts the data gets recorded in the ISPs. The government could do so because citizens themselves trust the third party, use their services to communicate and while doing so, they submit their data to this third. As citizens communicate, their IP address gets recorded in the system. Citizens also do lot of financial transactions online whose data are also recorded in the system. There is no clear law to define what information can be tracked or recorded and on government scrutiny of online data by congress.

Garlinger, P. P. (2009). Privacy, Free Speech, and the Patriot Act: First and Fourth Amendment Limits on National Security Letters. NYUL Rev., 84, 1105.

     There is a lot of difference between paraphrasing, quoting and summarizing the passage. In paraphrasing a passage, one rewrite the whole content of the passage as it is but while summarizing the passage we conclude the information that the passage is trying to share with us. In paraphrasing we write the entire passage in our own words but in summary we talk only about the main points from the passage. Quoting is lot more different than paraphrasing and summarizing because in quoting you give all the credit to the author and exactly write what the author has tried to say.

     These three things can be used at different places depending on the requirement. Summary can be used when we want to learn about the main points from the passage. This can save a lot of time in understanding. By reading the summary of the passage, one can easily conclude the paper.  Quotations are identical to the original passage and they are a narrow segment as compared to the paraphrase or summary which are rather broad.

     In my paper whenever I would need to conclude about the content I would use summary and when I would need to use the exact content, I would use quoting and for this I would give entire credit to the author by using in text citations. In paraphrasing and summary the citation is done in the end by using APA referencing.

References

1.      Keck, C. (2006). The use of paraphrase in summary writing: A comparison of L1 and L2 writers. Journal of Second Language Writing, 15(4), 261-278.

2.      Garlinger, P. P. (2009). Privacy, Free Speech, and the Patriot Act: First and Fourth Amendment Limits on National Security Letters. NYUL Rev., 84, 1105.

INSTRUCTOR’S FEEDBACK/GRADE…

Parts of an In-text Citation?

Hi Class!

&*%$( wrote: Critics have talked about how government can get access to large information which is recorded in ISPs and they can easily obtain it from third party (Garlinger, 2009).

Good start here!  I can tell you are working hard!  You,  however, need to use a signal phrase to introduce the direct quote and then follow up the direct quote with an in-text citation.  Also, and importantly, this does not seem to be a direct quote.   I do not see this phrase in the excerpt from which you should have copied it.  Instead, it seems to be a paraphrase.  Remember that at direct quote is a sentence or two of no more than 30 words that you take word for word from the expert source. It needs to be enclosed in direct quotes.  Here is an example:

Henry Greely (2008) writes, “Three arguments against the use of cognitive enhancement by the healthy quickly bubble to the surface in most discussions: that it is cheating, that it is unnatural and that it amounts to drug abuse” (para. 5).

Can you adjust your answer based on this information?

Class, an in-text citation for a direct quote should have three parts included inside of the parenthetical citation. 

Class,