English

Running Head: REVISION 1

REVISION 2

Revision

Anita Cobb

EN101

Grantham University

March 15, 2016

There are a myriad of considerations to be looked into while revising an essay. As a student, I’ll try to bring out my argument of the legal age for driving and the need to bring out a number of factors such as maturity and age not being directly proportional in that there are plenty of people above the age of eighteen who are far from mature. My argument is that driving licenses should not be given with age as a determining factor as such and that raising the bar is of no important significance. My argument is clearly stated that sixteen year olds apply to take instructions due to being in a learning atmosphere and them not being allowed to partake in drug and alcohol intake as per legal law puts them in a better position to show adherence to road rules.

I plan to improve on my previous assignment by convincing the reader the pros and cons of using age as a determining factor in issuing driving licenses. For example, there is a notable rise in employees who are of ages sixteen and above which is a basis of lowering the permitted driving age in that if companies can employ people at such a young age it is a show that they can be trusted with responsibilities hence they can be added the responsibility of driving. Also, it might be tiring for parents to drive their children around to and from work and in other cases the teenagers themselves may need to be punctual to work and depending on public transporting such as buses or taxis is not fully reliable.

I also plan on reduction of grammatical errors and making proper use of grammar in delivery of my thesis to make the paper easy to understand and relate to. Using proper grammar can help readers understand the thesis better. I also plan to organize my work better so that it is easy to go through, easy to understand and attractive so as to create attention and desire to read through. Organization of work will be achieved by addition of sub topics which can enable a reader to get a number of hints by having an over view of the paper. I plan to implement better sentence construction methods to link and my key points and ideas so it can facilitate for smooth and easy flow of work. I also intend to include the use of education as a means of reaching out to more people and as the greatest tool for facilitating for reduction of road accidents.