Gender Differences in Sexuality in different Cultures

10.1177/0739986303253803ARTICLEHispanic Journal of Behavioral SciencesFaulkner / Good Girl or Flirt Girl

Good Girl or Flirt Girl: Latinas’ Definitions of Sex and Sexual Relationships

Sandra L. Faulkner Syracuse University

This study provides theoretical understanding of 31 young adult Latinas’ (Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Cuban) experiences and understandings of sexuality through in-depth interviews. The grounded theory analysis of defining sex and sexual relationships revealed similar descriptions of processes within Latinas’ accounts. Women’s responses included defining sex as intercourse, defining sex as virtually anything, and making dis- tinctions between sex and making love. Women also offered definitions of safer sex and their ideal sexual relationships. Ideas about men’s sexuality as uncontrollable led women to devise plans for avoiding players and avoiding being a flirt girl because of the desire to be seen as moral and culturally competent. Latinas made sense of their sexual- ity by accepting, altering, or rejecting cultural messages. The findings have implications for interventions aimed to assist women in dealing with safer sex topics.

Keywords: cultural messages; grounded theory; Latinas; sexual definitions; sexual scripts

I know I don’t ask that sometimes before sex starts but afterwards—“How many partners have you had or whatever?”—but, definitely, I know before sex that they’re gonna wear a condom. Like, if some guy is like, “I’m always trying to go raw,” I’m, like, see you.

Puerto Rican, 20 years old, 7 to 10 sexual partners

Adolescents and young adults risk sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Reasons stem from feelings of invulnerability, inconsistent condom use, and

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This work is based on the author’s dissertation directed by Phyllis Kernoff Mansfield and Daniel J. Canary, completed at The Pennsylvania State University. Special thanks go to Patricia Koch for careful and insightful suggestions on earlier versions of this manuscript. The author may be contacted at the Department of Speech Communication, 100 Sims Hall, Syra- cuse University, Syracuse, NY 13244-1230; phone: (315) 443-5142; e-mail: [email protected].

Hispanic Journal of Behavioral Sciences, Vol. 25 No. 2, May 2003 174-200 DOI: 10.1177/0739986303253803 © 2003 Sage Publications

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being covert about sexual behavior to the lack of appropriate and detailed sexual information (Warren, Santelli, Everett, & Kann, 1998). Sixty-three percent of all STIs in the United States occur in people younger than 25 years of age (Ehrhardt, Yingling, & Warne, 1991), and every year 3 million teens acquire an STI (Alan Guttmacher Institute, 1999). Behavior and attitudes acquired during the teen years may influence young adults’ sexuality, and this has implications for sexual health, including HIV infection.

Ethnicity constitutes a significant risk factor for HIV. In the United States, cumulative incidence rates of HIV infection are 7 times greater for Latinas compared to White women (Smith & Moore, 1996), and in 1999, the AIDS incidence rate for Hispanics was almost 3 times higher than for Whites (Cen- ters for Disease Control, 2000). Compared to other Latino ethnic groups, Puerto Ricans, in particular, have been greatly affected by AIDS. For instance, between 1981 and 1987 in New York City, the AIDS rate for Puerto Rican adult women was 59 out of 100,000 versus 25 out of 100,000 for other Latinos (Menendez et al., 1990).

Latinas’ high risk of HIV infection can be attributed to factors such as mis- conceptions about how one acquires HIV, underestimating personal risk of acquiring STIs, and socioeconomic, cultural, and psychological factors (Fernandez, 1995; Kalichman, Hunter, & Kelly, 1992). Some research sug- gests that less acculturated Latinas with traditional values are more at risk from sexual behavior because of lower knowledge of HIV and uninformed beliefs about condoms (Marin & Marin, 1990; Marin, Tschann, Gomez, & Kegeles, 1993). Hines and Caetano (1998) found less acculturated Latinas to be 5 times more likely than more acculturated Latinas to indicate inconsistent condom use and nonmonogamy (i.e., sex with someone other than a primary partner). However, other research indicates that more acculturated Latinas are more likely to report multiple sex partners (Sabogal, Faigeles, & Cantania, 1993). The extent to which these cultural values influence sexual behavior and ideas warrant further investigation.

The purpose of this research is to improve our understanding of young adult Latinas’ sexuality by exploring the meanings they attribute to sexuality—in particular, definitions of sex and safer sex. Because Hispanics do not consti- tute a homogenous group, researchers need to be cognizant of subgroups (Marin & Marin, 1991). The focus of this study is on Puerto Rican, Cuban, and Dominican American women because culturally, these groups are con- sidered to share many commonalties when compared to other Hispanic groups (e.g., Mexican Americans), and more research is needed to determine the extent of subgroup differences.

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Sexuality and Latinas

How a woman makes sense of herself as a sexual person depends in part on how others in her social world label her sexual behavior and expression. Women’s sexual self-constructions are formed through consideration of mes- sages they receive from their culture and significant others about their bodies, reproductive functioning, and intimate relationships (Daniluk, 1998). In an ethnographic study of college women, Dunn (1998) found that cultural ideas regarding college romantic relationships as sexual, men’s views of relation- ships in sexual terms, and a sexualized environment influenced women’s conceptions of their sexuality; the women negotiated their identity given stig- matized definitions of virgins and sluts and the pressure to be sexually active. Women’s negotiations of messages determined how they choose to be sexual (e.g., choosing to be sexual only within the context of a committed relation- ship). The messages these women received are not unique to college women: Be sexual but not too sexual, wait for men to turn on sexual feelings, and be sexy but not too sexy are messages that embody much of the sexual edicts other women receive. However, the distinctiveness of these and other cultural messages plays out in subgroup differences and how individual women resist or embrace such messages (Irvine, 1995). For example, a 20-year-old Mexi- can American in Dunn’s (1998) study expressed amazement that her friends broke up with men who would not be sexual with them. She was still a virgin and felt that women and men should have different sexual standards.

Although most women contend with gender roles and the general disempowerment of women (Gomez & Marin, 1996), Latinas in the United States must make sense of mainstream Anglo and traditional Latino mes- sages regarding appropriate sexual behavior that are often contradictory. Some core cultural ideals and edicts exist for Latinas, even though they repre- sent a diverse range of backgrounds and racial and ethnic categories (Marin & Marin, 1991). Marianismo and machismo, for instance, prescribe appropri- ate traditional gender roles of feminine and masculine behavior, including sexual behavior (Gil & Vazquez, 1996). Modesty, faithfulness, and virginity represent feminine ideals. Marianismo dictates that women, who talk about sex, act like they enjoy sex, and initiate condom use may be considered pro- miscuous and lacking virtue. This role requires women to be monogamous and experience sexual desire only in the context of a long-term committed relationship with a man, limiting exploration of erotic identity and forcing heterosexuality as the norm; lesbians and sexually active women face the risk of being labeled whores and unfit for the esteemed role of motherhood (Gomez & Marin, 1996).

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Traditional machismo sexual behavior includes having multiple sexual partners, being in charge of the frequency and type of sexual activity, and not talking about sex with women (Marin, Gomez, & Hearst, 1993). Although the idea of machismo is changing, suggesting that the meanings of macho are multiple and mutable (Gutmann, 1996), gender stereotypes still exist and are reinforced by those inside and outside the culture (Burgos & Diaz-Perez, 1986). An ethnographic study of Puerto Rican men (18 to 29 years old) in New York City revealed men’s experiences of tension between emotional and sexual intimacy and pressure to adhere to traditionally prescribed gender roles (Seal, Wagner-Raphael, & Ehrhardt, 2000). Participants talked about sexually scripted ideas of relational and sexual control, including being in charge of initiating sexual activity, stealing other men’s women, the idea that men need sex, and respecting virgins and women who make men wait to have sex. Men also described feeling distrusting about female-initiated condom use. On the whole, Latin men are taught to express their sexuality and are considered oversexed, whereas Latin women are taught to repress their sexu- ality and rely on men to teach them about sex in the context of marriage (Gil & Vazquez, 1996).

Even if Latinas do not endorse traditional values, these cultural ideas influence their relationships with male sexual partners (Gomez & Marin, 1996). Research from the University of Puerto Rico showed that traditional expressions of sexuality, rigid sexual behavior norms, and gender roles exist on the island (Cunningham, 1998). Interviews with 20 married women in Puerto Rico revealed that women’s sexual expression was constrained by tra- ditional ideology: sex for reproduction only, women’s sexuality as passive, and virginity before marriage. None of the working-class women inter- viewed discussed sexual issues with their husbands, they felt ignorant about sexual matters when growing up, and they did not report enjoying sexual intercourse as much as the managers that were interviewed (Santos-Ortiz & Vazquez, 1989). A study of young adolescents in Puerto Rico confirms that gender differentiation still exists, suggesting that “girls and boys equally exposed to United States values may react differently because they filter these new values with gender-specific ones” (Gibbons, Brusi-Figueroa, & Fisher, 1997, p. 366). These research findings indicated that the degree of adherence to cultural norms depends on factors such as education, accultura- tion, and economic independence. Movement between the island and the U.S. mainland creates pressure for acculturation and preservation of tradi- tional values.

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Virginity and Sexual Definitions

In the United States today, the terms virginity and sex have many diverse meanings that coexist (Carpenter, 2001). What constitutes having sex is not universal as different cultural groups and individuals attach various mean- ings to sexual activity and virginity. In a survey of 559 undergraduates, 59% believed that oral-genital contact with a partner did not count as having had sex (Sanders & Reinisch, 1999). If oral sexual behavior does not end in orgasm, it may be even less likely the behavior is considered to be sex (Bogart, Cecil, Wagstaff, Pinkerton, & Abramson, 2000). Even though there is a lack of consensus, most scholarly and lay literature denotes virginity loss as first coitus (Carpenter, 2001). This ignores and glosses over the meaning same-sex couples and others attribute to noncoital sexual activity, anal sex, and oral sex.

For some women, the loss of virginity means to give up something of value and to lose power after experiencing vaginal intercourse (Daniluk, 1998), whereas for others, virginity is a stigma, something to be rid of to gain popularity or end the mystery (see Thompson, 1995). Views of virginity as honorable or stigmatized depend on cultural and individual values, such as religiosity and beliefs about gender roles. Generally, for men, the loss of vir- ginity represents a passageway to manhood and a way to win status. “Hetero- sexual first sex” represents young men’s induction into adult masculinity, but, for women, the story is more ambiguous because of the construction of adult heterosexuality as masculinity (Holland, Ramazanoglu, & Thomson, 1996). This leaves women with pressure to consent to and then fit into this construction, “making sense of themselves and their otherness” (p. 145).

For Latinas, preserving virginity is a matter of honor for the Latino family (Gil & Vazquez, 1996). Loss of virginity casts a shadow on male partners and a woman’s family; it is not an individual identity. A man who marries a nonvirgin may be considered a “cuckold” because of public evaluations of a nonvirgin woman as less valuable (Horowitz, 1983). Men’s status improves after sexual intercourse because they are seen as able to successfully seduce women, whereas women are viewed as unbounded by this display of passion. Wishes to uphold cultural ideas of goodness keep women balancing needs for sexual contact, freedom, and social approval. All of the stories that 20 Puerto Rican women in Chicago told Peterman (1996) about their abortions cen- tered on a traditional patriarchal idea of virginity; stories included themes of sexual shame, marriage to legitimate pregnancy, and marriage to a first sexual partner. In some cases, becoming a so-called good mother or limiting sex to

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activities other than vaginal intercourse are ways to cope with the stigma of virginity loss and engender evaluations of morality.

Script Theory

Script theory offers a promising framework from which to examine defini- tions of sex and safer sex. Sexual scripts (e.g., marianismo and machismo) are abstractions about sexuality that specify appropriate sexual goals and contexts as well as provide a pattern of behavior and plans to achieve sexual goals (Simon & Gagnon, 1986, 1987). A scripting perspective allows researchers to examine how sociocultural contexts influence what people think and do (Gagnon, 1990). Consciously or unconsciously, individuals tend to rely on scripts to tell them how to behave sexually and even what situ- ations are sexual (Simon & Gagnon, 1987). In short, scripts define behaviors that correspond with a culture’s expectations about what happens when, where, how, why, and by whom.

Scripts interact at the cultural, interpersonal, and intrapsychic level (Simon & Gagnon, 1986, 1987) and are considered metaphors “for conceptu- alizing the production of behavior within social life” (Simon & Gagnon, 1986). The cultural-level script refers to instructions for sexual conduct embodied in cultural narratives. Schools, religious leaders, sex educators, and mass media are sources that help create and maintain guidelines and social norms for appropriate sexual conduct. Interpersonal-level scripts ref- erence one’s structured patterns of interaction, that is, what sexual behaviors an individual acquires and maintains during sexual interactions. Finally, the intrapsychic-level script speaks to an individual’s feelings and fantasies about sexual activity. A person uses these feelings and fantasies to reflect on past behavior and to guide current and future behavior. These levels are not static; rather, they interact with and relate to one another depending on one’s culture and life course (Gagnon, 1990). Multiple and conflicting scripts can exist in a given culture. For Latinas, for instance, feminine sexual gender norms require virginity and also male domination; women are placed in a position of choosing which norm to violate (see Horowitz, 1983).

We need to understand Latinas’ subjective meanings of sexuality and how their culture may influence these understandings, particularly because of pre- vious tendencies to ignore ethnicity and intraethnic variations as well as assumptions that White women’s experience is the same as others (Wiederman, Maynard, & Fretz, 1996). An examination of subgroups pro- vides understanding of how “gaps between the dominant cultural messages and an individual’s socialization into it” (Irvine, 1995, p. 28) play out in Latinas’ construction of sexual identity.

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Method

The grounded theory method was selected because of its focus on process and its ability to generate explanatory theory based in Latinas’ experiences (Glaser, 1978; Glaser & Strauss, 1967). The results presented here are part of a larger project focusing on the analysis of three contexts—defining sex and sexual relationships, communicating about sex with family and community, and being in a romantic relationship—that revealed similar descriptions of processes within Latinas’ accounts (Faulkner, 1999). Findings from the grounded theory analysis of defining sex and sexual relationships are pre- sented here.

Participants

The participants in this study were 31 young adult Latinas who had been or were currently involved in a romantic or sexual relationship. Twenty-six participants were Puerto Rican (84%), 3 were Dominican (10%), and 2 were Cuban (6%). The participants were highly educated; all participants had received or were working toward an undergraduate degree, and 7 women had or were pursuing graduate degrees. Most (65%, n = 11) predominantly grew up in the Northeast, some (29%, n = 9) in Puerto Rico, and 2 (6%) lived in both areas. All were U.S. citizens. The women’s levels of acculturation var- ied, but most women were fairly well acculturated (i.e., women predomi- nantly preferred speaking English, had Latino and non-Latino close friends, and talked about being proud of being Latin and from the United States). The participants’ ages ranged from 18 to 36 (M = 23). Of the women, 24 reported being heterosexual (77%), 2 bisexual (6%), 1 lesbian (3%), and 4 (13%) were unsure of their sexual orientation. Of participants, 84% were single, and of those women, 54% were dating someone at the time of the interview. Five participants were married (16%), and only 1 participant had children (1%).

The majority of participants had experience with vaginal and oral inter- course. Of participants, 74% reported having had sexual intercourse, 94% of participants performed oral sex, and 97% reported having received oral sex from a partner. Of participants, 39% reported having had 1 to 3 lifetime sex- ual partners, 16% had 4 to 6, 23% had 7 to 10, and 13% of participants reported having had 11 to 20 sexual partners. Catholic and Pentecostal were the most common religions represented among the participants, although some women were Protestant. A few women mentioned Santeria, a tradi- tional island religion, as playing a role in their spirituality, even if they prac- ticed other religions.

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Procedures

This study was conducted in Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey during 1997 and 1998. Contacts in the Latino community helped me recruit participants for the study. I also recruited participants though a Puerto Rican student association, a Latina sorority, and a center for Latino culture and arts. I attended events and functions in the community (e.g., parties and educa- tional programs) to establish my presence and gain participants’ confidence (Marin & Marin, 1991).

Thirty-one Latinas were interviewed (including pilot interviews), with recruitment ceasing when saturation was reached (Glaser, 1978). To ensure validity, I did purposive sampling where I sought participants who possessed a range of sexual communication experiences, who were willing to discuss their experiences, and who had reflected on them (Morse, 1992). At the beginning of each interview, confidentiality was ensured and informed con- sent was obtained. Participants received $10 in compensation. The inter- views ranged in length from 30 min to 120 min with the majority lasting 45 min to 50 min.

An interview guide, which was piloted with six college-aged Latinas, pro- vided a framework for developing and sequencing questions and helped me determine what information to pursue in more detail. The interview schedule provided a flexible yet focused sequence of questions (Rubin & Rubin, 1995). Probes were prepared for each question to elicit further information if needed, and the interview protocol was refined three times to reflect the emerging theory and insights as the interviews were conducted. Questions about family, partners, religion, whether and how safer sex is discussed, defi- nitions of sex, abortion, HIV testing, and negotiating sexual activity were covered. Married participants were asked to consider past romantic relation- ships as well when answering questions. After the interviews, each partici- pant completed a brief two-page questionnaire that contained both factual and sensitive questions (e.g., present sexual activity, number of sexual part- ners, and contraceptive use). The results were used to provide demographic and descriptive information about the participants.

Data Analysis

The interview audiotapes were transcribed, and computer files were made of the data. Each interview received a code number, and responses to each question were given subheads (e.g., Q1, Q2a) to facilitate categorization of responses. A computer word-processing program assisted in managing the coding process (see Morse, 1991).

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Grounded theory was used to identify and describe the process of sexual talk (Glaser, 1978; Glaser & Strauss, 1967). The analysis process began with open coding. As analysis moved to a more abstract level, selective coding occurred; first-level codes were condensed and recategorized. In addition to selective coding, theoretical coding yielded conceptual relationships between the categories (Glaser, 1978). Theoretical memos, made after each interview and during analysis, contained ideas about codes and the relation- ships between them that moved analysis from the descriptive stage to a more theoretical one and included personal reflections (Glaser, 1978). Personal reflections were compared to the categories that were emerging and con- firmed findings during analysis with another experienced researcher who asked questions about the categories to help refine them.

Findings

Overall, I found that participants could be classified into three groups depending on how they processed cultural messages they received about sex- uality. Latinas described rejecting, accepting, or altering messages about sex- ual women (for a full discussion, see Faulkner & Mansfield, 2002). Women who rejected messages tended to be nontraditional. They thought women’s roles encompassed more than motherhood and relational partner and expressed beliefs in women’s rights to sexual experience. Over time, these women considered so-called “old-school” messages about virginity and sex- ual promiscuity as less defining of their identities. They claimed the right to be sexual even if they delayed marriage plans. These Latinas expressed anger at sexism, lack of sexuality information, being labeled a certain kind of sex- ual person (e.g., lesbian, feminist), and being called derogatory names. “It’s easy to say ‘don’t have sex.’ . . . How are you gonna make sure that your inter- est is protected? . . . And that’s what we need, plenty of opportunity to explore some things without feeling guilty that we are going to be called sluts” (Puerto Rican, age 30, married).

A second group of women altered and adjusted messages to fit with their own emerging beliefs about appropriate sexual behavior. They adopted some parts of the messages and discarded and rearranged other parts, for instance, women who described making distinctions between sex for society (i.e., intercourse) and sex for church (i.e., any sexual activity). “There is one thing for the church and for society. We love each other and we haven’t done any- thing with anybody else. So, we know that it’s wrong for church. We know it’s OK because we love each other” (Puerto Rican, age 21, 1 sexual partner). Latinas described altering messages as a process of feeling good about them-

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selves and learning from past mistakes as well as positive experiences. Many felt remorse about past sexual activity and labeled themselves as sluts, but they considered the experience necessary to be assertive with their sexual needs in present and future relationships.

For other women, accepting messages felt appropriate for them. The señoritas (virgins) avoided sexual activity and attempted to stay in control of their partners’ and their own sexual desires. They felt that saving yourself until marriage was honorable and believed that women’s and men’s gender roles were naturally different. Explicit talk about sexual issues was not neces- sary because that would occur after marriage. Those women who engaged in sexual behavior also reported being quiet because of their own and others’ evaluations of their behavior as wrong. How Latinas accepted or rejected cul- turally scripted messages about sexuality was reflected in their definitions of sex, safer sex, and ideal sexual relationships and could change as reconciling cultural messages is a process.

Defining Sex

Emotions and contexts affected participants’ definitions of sex. The mean- ing of sexual activity depended in part on what kinds of activity women had engaged in, as well as what activities they considered to possess erotic potential.

Sex as Intercourse

Participants almost always mentioned intercourse or “penis and vagina” when defining sex. As a 19-year-old Puerto Rican said, “To me, like, sex always entails vaginal-penile intercourse.” A lesbian explicitly stated she did not define sex “by the penis.” The majority of women, though, mentioned intercourse first when they defined sex and said it was the most readily acces- sible definition. “The first thing that comes to my mind is intercourse, sexual penetration” (Puerto Rican, heterosexual, age 21).

Most of the participants did not volunteer oral activity as a definition of sex until I explicitly asked them if it counted. One woman (Puerto Rican, married, age 26) discussed how the Monica Lewinsky-President Clinton affair altered her thinking on the subject of oral sex as constituting “having sex.” She talked to friends about the level of intimacy involved in oral-genital contact after the affair became public and concluded that oral sex did mean having sex.

All but 1 woman had received oral sex, and only 2 women had never per- formed oral sex on a partner. Oral sex, though, may or may not be sex. Almost

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half of the participants did not consider oral sex to count as having sex, partic- ularly many women who reported not engaging in vaginal or anal sex. These participants remained adamant about their status as virgins as sex was, above all, vaginal intercourse. About 5 participants recognized the contradiction during the interview but made distinctions about sex as viewed by general society versus the church. A 20-year-old Puerto Rican participant felt that “If you kiss someone, not kiss like (sound) but kiss someone long, that’s sex for church. For society, sex would be having intercourse and what they say, ‘go- ing all the way.’ ” She talked about how she and her boyfriend “did everything but” intercourse because they wanted to save that for marriage. The defini- tions of sex depended on whether women examined the definition from a reli- gious or social perspective.

Sex as Virtually Anything

About one third of all participants defined sex as virtually anything and did not make clear distinctions between sexual activities. To them, vaginal intercourse, oral sex, massaging, handholding, kissing, flirting, and caress- ing could constitute sexual activity. The demarcation of some activities as sexual and others as not sexual seemed false. Sex was open to interpretation depending on many factors, such as who you were partnered with, who initi- ated sexual encounters, where and when sexual encounters began, what you felt like during an activity, and why activities occurred. Circumstances sur- rounding activities with partners determine the labeling of an event as sexual. For instance, a Puerto Rican participant (21 years old, 1 to 3 lifetime sexual partners) said, “I think people can be in bed all night making out, you know, touching, caressing each other, and that can be sex.” Four participants who seemed very traditional felt that any kind of intimacy was sexual, even kisses should not be “given away.”

An anal sex taboo was clearly present for the women. They would not readily volunteer anal intercourse when defining sex. Only 16% (n = 5) of women indicated that they had experienced anal sex, although they reported engaging in it rarely to occasionally. Two participants provided no answer to the question. Many did consider anal intercourse to be sex but made sure to say they personally found it repulsive. Some of these feelings had to do with the association with homosexuality. A 22-year-old heterosexual Puerto Rican participant stated it this way: “I guess in a homosexual relationship, it’s like your only one of limited options. So, I can understand why, I mean if somebody wants to do it, that’s fine. But personally that is a repulsive act.”

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Sex as Different From Making Love

Participants made clear distinctions between sex and making love. Sex solely involved body parts, whereas making love was regarded as the ideal because it involved feelings and a relationship with a partner. Making love involves passion, romance, and feelings, and “there doesn’t have to be pene- tration and liquid involved” because it extends beyond the physical. The dif- ference between sex and making love exists in the length of the relationship and the setting of the activity. Making love takes place in a committed inti- mate relationship that has been established over time and in which feelings develop.

Three women did not conceive of sex as making love and viewed it as a purely physical relationship. For these women, sex was “not a big deal.” They had divorced sex and emotion entirely, making no connection between the two concepts. One woman (Puerto Rican, bisexual, age 21) who reported 7 to 10 lifetime sexual partners relayed how her counselors went “wild” when she told them her views about sex. She had been molested as a child and had not fully recovered from the experience. Consequently, she considered sex as just “physical” and “dirty.”

If you think about it, like, technically, why would you do this to someone you love? It’s nice to be in love with someone and have sex with someone. But you could be dirty, too. You don’t have to be always like this wonderful, like, pro- creating marriage thing.

Another woman had never experienced sex in a loving relationship, so she pondered the importance that so many people placed on it: “I think sex is sex. I’m sure there’s something deeper, but I have never really had sex with some- one I love. I don’t think of it as some big huge ordeal where two people are exchanging all these emotions” (Puerto Rican, age 20).

Women disliked the term intercourse because it sounded “dry” and unro- mantic. They felt the word was too scientific to describe their feelings about sex and, in fact, some refused to say that intercourse was sex for this reason. Sex, to them encompassed more than this term. Making love, on the other hand, was a “beautiful body and soul experience,” and the “most deep” expe- rience you can share with another person. A 21-year-old Puerto Rican who had planned her first intercourse with her current partner stated, “I think [making love] that’s more like intimacy, where your emotions are involved. You have a certain feeling for the person. As opposed to sex, it’s like inter- course sounds dry.” Making love did not equal procreation for any of the women, even those who were deeply religious.

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In addition to personal feelings, about half of the women discussed reli- gious distinctions between sex and making love. Women who considered themselves deeply religious felt that making love belonged within the con- fines of a heterosexual marital relationship and was the highest form of love. Premarital sex, however, equaled fornication, which is a sin. Seven women who decided to maintain their virginity (señoritas), including 3 of the now- married, cited not meeting the right person and being unready emotionally (n = 2), as well as strong beliefs in church teachings about premarital sex (n = 5). A 20-year-old Puerto Rican woman who grew up on the island described how her deep religious convictions kept her from even believing in the con- cept of sex. She considered herself to be a virgin.

I guess I don’t believe in sex. I believe in making love. It’s [sex] totally driven behavior from your flesh, period, from selfish personal desires. You just want to have some satisfaction; you just want somebody to have sex [with].

Defining Safer Sex

Smart Sex

Overall, Latinas felt safer sex was “smart sex.” Smart sex meant avoiding pregnancy and disease as well as the care of one’s emotional well-being through the choice of trustworthy partners. Participants possessed rudimen- tary knowledge about safer sex, especially that barriers (i.e., condoms) should be used to prevent the exchange of bodily fluids to mucous mem- branes and/or broken skin. About one third of the women possessed more in- depth knowledge detailing the need to use condoms and/or dental dams for oral sex and latex gloves for manual genital stimulation with a woman. A minority of others did not possess sufficient knowledge about their bodies, sexual functioning, and methods of birth control to talk about or acquire con- traception. Those (n = 6) who indicated they were “virgins” (señoritas) because they wanted to wait until marriage for intercourse did not discuss contraception or condoms because they believed them to be unnecessary, even if they were engaging in oral sex with a partner. Only 1 woman (Puerto Rican, 20 years old) mentioned positive feelings about safer sex and described it as a “sexy way of having sex.” She volunteered as an AIDS edu- cator in her community. No one else viewed erotic potential in the use of bar- riers, although they did view them as a way partners care for one another and show respect.

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Avoiding Disease and Pregnancy

Pregnancy and STIs as consequences of sexual activity resided in promi- nent places in women’s minds when they talked about their definitions of safer sex. Avoiding these consequences was accomplished by “protecting yourself and your partner” by “using protection” and “taking precautions” in addition to “taking care of yourself.” Protection referred to condoms for dis- ease protection for two thirds of the participants and other contraception, most often “the pill,” to prevent pregnancy. Although women generally knew about the importance of disease and pregnancy prevention, one third were shaky about the details of their reproductive systems and how contraception worked.

At times, the actual practice of safer sex contrasted with women’s knowl- edge about it. When asked whether they practiced safer sex, participants dis- cussed the difficulty of always using condoms with partners because of attitudes about them; some women felt condoms reduced closeness between partners, some were embarrassed to buy them, and others had to contend with a partner’s condom-negative views. Three women discussed how they only recently found out about the necessity of condoms for oral sex. Women reported using oral contraception (n = 10) and condoms (n = 14) as means to prevent pregnancy most frequently. Six women used condoms in conjunction with oral contraception or spermicide for sexual health reasons, and 4 women reported they relied on the rhythm method. Only 1 woman indicated using contraceptive film.

Not one woman reported using condoms consistently, even if that was her only method of birth control. Reasons for inconsistent condom use included the feeling of “something new,” being bored, wanting to be “spontaneous,” trusting a partner, and hating condoms. Partners influenced the use of con- doms. About half of the women felt it would not be an issue to use a condom with a partner. They believed that men would do anything to have sex, and they could choose men who would use condoms. However, a few women (n = 5) expressed that they could not get partners to use condoms, particularly if the couple had used them inconsistently in the past. If a partner disliked con- doms, then a woman often had to decide to have sexual intercourse without a condom or forgo it all together. Unfortunately, disagreements usually resulted in reliance on withdrawal or “pullout.”

Trusting a partner was the reason most often cited for “going raw.” Women felt that they could trust the men for numerous reasons. These included assuming that he was not sleeping with other people, that the sexual relation- ship was a first for both of them, and that the commitment level of the rela-

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tionship was high. When women stopped trusting a partner and suspected infidelity, they often requested that condoms be used again. A 21-year-old Puerto Rican participant told her boyfriend that he had to use condoms after she found out that he had intercourse with another woman. Other triggers besides suspicion of infidelity included seeing a program about sex on televi- sion or talking with friends about sexual issues.

Women felt that knowing a partner’s sexual history constituted another important strategy for preventing disease and meant in some cases they could forgo condoms (e.g., if partner was sexually inexperienced). A large part of “being careful” included knowing your partner. Women would determine risk by asking others in their social circle about a potential partner and observing whether the man was a “player” (i.e., someone who dates a lot of people). Less often they would ask the person about his or her past. One woman described how she avoided performing oral sex on a woman she did not know very well as a safety measure (Cuban, lesbian, age 25).

In addition to safer sex, HIV testing is another safety strategy in which one can engage. The number of women who reported being tested (n = 16) or not tested (n = 15) was approximately equivalent. Reasons for not being tested stemmed from feelings of safety (e.g., virginity, only experiencing oral sex, being married) to acute fear. Women who reported being tested for HIV listed reasons such as curiosity, desire to stop using condoms, being exposed to public service announcements or AIDS awareness education workers, and past sexual experience.

Sex was “scary” for women, many because of all the things that could go wrong. Even if participants did not express fear, most of them discussed neg- ative consequences of sexual activity (e.g., sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy). A 22-year-old bisexual participant who reported 7 to 10 lifetime sexual partners cited her negative experiences of breakage and slippage with condoms as a reason to fear sex. Oral sex is something that her partners always forgot about, she bemoaned; they felt “all safe,” but did not use con- doms or dental dams for oral sex with previous partners. Another participant (age 23, Puerto Rican, 4 to 6 sexual partners) offered her view on how safer sex is “fear inside” and that “as long as I have that fear inside of me, that’s safe sex. I won’t have sex if I have fear.”

Taking Care of the Emotional Self

“Safe sex is making sure the car doors are locked,” one woman (Puerto Rican, 11 to 20 sexual partners, age 22) quipped. She continued on a more somber note, however, and earnestly stated that safer sex entailed being with

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someone you trust emotionally as well as the “physical stuff.” Keeping the car doors locked is not effective if you do not have a healthy relationship and make choices that jeopardize your emotional safety. Eight women echoed this theme by emphasizing the importance of choosing good partners.

Emotional health meant being honest with yourself and knowing when you were in an unhealthy, “horrible” relationship and getting out. Healthy relationships were monogamous and full of trust. Almost half of participants felt that trust was the key to safer sex; therefore, they placed great value on knowing a partner and building up trust to ensure the relationship’s future and how a partner treated them. Women described trust as contributing to the abil- ity to talk about sexual issues and being sure that a partner was not lying about fidelity, thus ensuring emotional and physical health.

If you’re like with a lot of partners at the same time, then you have to protect yourself from diseases. But if you’re only with one partner . . . you’re only with that partner and you really trust that partner, I don’t think condoms or other protections are going to be useful. (Puerto Rican, age 20, 1 to 3 sexual partners)

Trust meant that condoms could be forgone; using condoms in an established relationship indicated multiple partners. Two women discussed how they stopped using condoms when trust was established in their relationships, and 3 women did not use condoms for their first intercourse because their partners were also virgins.

Describing Sexual Roles

Meanings attributed to sexuality influenced women’s attitudes and experi- ences in the sexual realm. Traditional attitudes construed men as “players” after “only one thing.” Women were warned about the nature of men’s sexual- ity by their family and friends, particularly male friends, older women, and women who had experienced sexual violence, and told to be careful lest they become a “flirt girl” (e.g., whore) for giving in to men’s uncontrollable desire. Some women were told “never depend on a man” because they were untrustworthy.

Women reported clear preferences for dating Latinos (n = 19) or non- Latinos (n = 12) based on their ideas of how Latinos treated women. Partici- pants preferring non-Latinos argued adamantly that Latinos “had no clue” about women and considered women to not “have sexuality.” These women contended that traditional gender roles in the Latin community were too strong for them to want to date a Latino. A man could be sensitive and respon- sible if he eschewed traditional sex role expectations, yet such resistance car-

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ried a stigma. A Latino viewed as too effeminate paid with consequences such as being ostracized and labeled; a man who allowed a woman to “domi- nate” him became a “girl.” Other women preferred outgoing men and consid- ered shy men (i.e., nontraditional) unappealing. Four participants felt pressure from their families to date White men, or at least light-skinned Lati- nos because of a belief that White men make better husbands.

Men Direct Sex

Women who endorsed traditional values assumed that men orchestrated sex. Men lead the way in the sexual arena by knowing what to do sexually and initiating sexual activity. A 20-year-old Puerto Rican said that many people in the Latin community still believe that “The man directs the sex. The man directs what goes on, and there shouldn’t even be any discussion about it. That’s it. Like I said, what the man says goes.” Duties include teaching a woman about sex once they are married.

Men as Players

Most participants thought men’s and women’s sexuality differed, even the ones who altered traditional messages. The view of men as “sexually driven” and knowledgeable about sexuality led to expectations that they should expe- rience sexual activity with a variety of women before marriage. However, they are encouraged to marry a “pure” woman. “You don’t want someone another guy had” (Puerto Rican, 7 to 10 sexual partners, age 21). Three women explained that men’s previous sexual experience would keep the man from “straying” when they got married because he had a chance “to get it out of his system.” Moreover, men are expected to have affairs because of their huge sexual appetites.

The view of men as sexual carnivores meant that they had a difficult time distinguishing between sex and intimacy, according to some Latinas (n = 4). “Like, men kind of don’t understand the whole [idea of] how you could be intimate but not have actual intercourse. So that’s something that I’ve had to sit down and deal with” (Puerto Rican, uncertain of sexual orientation, age 20). She continued by describing how she negotiated in her last dating rela- tionship with a man who wanted to get his “million” though intercourse. “He was like, why have ten-thousand dollars, when I want a million? I went ‘no.’ You go ahead and get your 1 million dollars, and I’m going to take my ten- thousand-dollar ass home.”

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Avoiding Players

Latinas wanted to avoid being with players. A player sleeps around with numerous women, disrespects women, does not make commitments in rela- tionships, and perpetually thinks about and pressures women to have sex. One participant felt that a player did not necessarily sleep with a lot of women, but he would date around and never stay with one woman very long.

The “good girl.” Women raised in more traditional families and those who grew up in Puerto Rico experienced a tight rein on their dating activities. Par- ents tried to screen out players. This meant supervised visits with men; it was common for a mother to send a sibling along with a woman on a date. An 18- year-old virgin who grew up in Puerto Rico described how her parents made a man write her letters before she could even talk to him on the phone. Then, he was allowed to make phone calls at specified times, and after another period of time, they supervised visits to the house. Finally, the two were allowed to date unattended. Her parents wanted to make sure his intentions were worthy, that he was not a player. A player would not go through the hassle and obsta- cles her parents placed before him.

The most common method of avoiding players was asking others about the person in question. Women would query those in their social circle about a person’s propensity toward “playing.” Ascertaining the answer seemed effortless as the potential partner pool for women in college was fairly limited to those whom their friends knew or someone with whom their friends had at least minimal contact. This 23-year-old Dominican (virgin) participant described it this way:

Like one of my friends that I talk to now, he knows my brother. . . . I used to like one of his friends, and I be like, “How is he? Is he, is he like a player or things like that?” “Well, actually, we used to compete on how many girls we would get a night.” And I asked him about his friend, and he was like, “Well, he’s a player.”

The Flirt Girl

Analogous to a player, a flirt girl, according to a 20-year-old Puerto Rican participant, represents the unmarried woman who is free and open about her sexual desires; she accepts “straight-out” invitations for sex from men, has “sex when she can,” sleeps and dates around, and “allows her man to be with other women.” Most of the women who grew up in Puerto Rico felt that women raised in the United States were too free with their sexuality. As one

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woman emphasized, “From where I come, Puerto Rico, girls are like very dif- ferent than here. We let guys beg for us. We’re not easy.” Her narrative of the discovery of her boyfriend’s infidelity illustrates the idea of a flirt girl.

I told him that there is only one thing I wanna tell you. I’m not going to be one of your flirt girls. I’m not like that, you know. If you really like me, it’s me or nobody. If you like them, it’s them or not me. So, you choose. I don’t need you. I was born alone, and I can find somebody else. So, if you want me, you have to leave them. (virgin, age 20)

Women did not want to be seen as a whore, ho, slut, or flirt girl. Almost all the participants described feeling “impure,” “dirty,” and like “sluts” for sex- ual activity that they had engaged in previously. Many women regretted their sexual experience and wished they could reverse at least some past activity, particularly if they had been with a player, as that meant they were potential flirt girls.

Describing Ideal Sexual Relationships

Women’s understandings of ideal sexual relationships took shape and were altered through experiences such as being in good and bad relation- ships, engaging in unsafe sexual practices, and viewing others’ relationships.

Wanting a Future Together

The majority of women, particularly those who accepted and altered mes- sages about Latinas sexuality, believed sexual activity should occur within a relationship that is “going somewhere.” Ideally, these women would like to fall in love and then have sex grow out of the established relationship. The objective appeared to be long-term romantic fidelity, often with marriage being the ultimate realization of relational goals.

For me, an ideal sexual relationship would be in the context of a loving rela- tionship with at least tentative plans—the ultimate goal being a future together. And if I didn’t feel that way in a relationship, then I wouldn’t have sex. Last year, the boy I was dating before my boyfriend, we had been together for almost 2 years, but we didn’t sleep together because I knew that he wasn’t the one. (Puerto Rican, 11 to 20 partners, age 22)

If women did have sexual relationships without being in love or they had sexual relationships that subsequently ended, they either considered the experience to be a learning process or judged themselves harshly. Negative sexual experiences, including sexual violence (n = 15) and unsafe sex, made

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women feel poorly about themselves as sexual beings and sometimes led to plans to stop or alter sexual activity (e.g., stop having vaginal intercourse).

Wanting a Reciprocal Romantic Relationship

In many regards, the ideal sexual relationship is synonymous with an ideal relationship. Women described wanting a reciprocal relationship with a per- son with whom they could share dreams; “Somebody who you can confide in with your own secrets that nobody else would. And somebody who you have a very good bond with, but at the same time, they have their own independ- ence” (Puerto Rican, married, age 26). Everyone wanted to be treated like a full person, not just a sexual being. Participants felt that sexual relationships include more than sexual behavior; they listed honesty, copious communica- tion, companionship, and friendship. One participant described her ideal sex- ual partner as “a man who could fulfill me the most, and it wouldn’t be in just sexual terms. He would, it would have to be in every other aspect, like emo- tional, psychologically, mentally, and every other aspect” (Puerto Rican, age 36, 1 sexual partner). She felt her husband was this person.

The majority of participants focused on relational aspects of reciprocity, although a few women (n = 6) mentioned particulars about sexual behavior. These women expressed desire for partners who recognized that women pos- ses sexual feelings and sexuality. They wanted someone who would not just “roll over” when they ejaculated. For some, having sex regularly within a committed relationship represented the ultimate connection. A 30-year-old married woman stated that she would ideally like to have sex with her hus- band every day. In contrast, a single Puerto Rican (age 27) who met her cur- rent partner on the Internet thought that partners worked out the particulars between them so expectations about the frequency of sexual activity were misguided. An 18-year-old Puerto Rican wanted a man who knew something about anatomy and sexuality and was not a “dingbat.” A partner who recog- nized a woman’s need for sexual fulfillment and was not “selfish” was part of Latinas’ descriptions of an ideal sexual relationship.

Wanting a Safe Relationship

Another facet of an ideal sexual relationship is physical and emotional safety. Women wanted monogamous relationships free of disease and the fear of pregnancy as these concerns diminished relationship quality. The Latinas who rejected and altered traditional messages about sexuality most often mentioned emotional health as vital. This entailed not sleeping with multiple partners, having sex when using drugs or alcohol, having sex imme-

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diately after a breakup, and having unsafe sex. Part of these fears stemmed from reputation concerns.

I don’t want to have to worry about AIDS. I don’t want to have to worry about getting pregnant because there’s nasty things out there I just don’t want. I don’t want to be Jerry Springer material any time soon. (Puerto Rican, 7 to 10 sexual partners, age 21)

Most of all, being safe meant that women felt free to talk about what they wanted and did not want sexually with a partner. Staying true to one’s beliefs about sexual relationships and appropriate sexual activity depended on the ability to express and negotiate these wishes with a partner without any regrets. “The ideal sexual relationship would be like if you have successful good conversations about sex. Because if you are open and you can say every- thing that you feel like, then you don’t have to stay with anything (Puerto Rican, married, age 36).

Discussion

These findings suggest processes consistent with script theory (Simon & Gagnon, 1987). Women learned about appropriate and acceptable sexual behavior within the context of their cultural backgrounds, and these cultural scripts can be seen in the interaction between intrapsychic- and interpersonal- level scripts. For instance, almost half of the participants did not consider oral sex to constitute having had sex, and most participants did not readily men- tion oral-genital contact when asked to define sex (cf Remez, 2000; Sanders & Reinisch, 1999). Oral-genital contact is not readily offered as part of the definition of sex because oral sex is not scripted as “real” sex (Gagnon, 1990), although it became a common part of sexual scripts for heterosexual college- educated men and women during the past century (Gagnon & Simon, 1987). For those women inexperienced with vaginal intercourse (26%), not consid- ering oral sex (intrapsychic level) to be sex constituted a way to avoid being a flirt girl, which was incongruent with their identities as good women. More traditional Latinas felt that all kinds of intimacy were sexual because of their acceptance of cultural-level scripts about all sexual activity being confined within marriage. For these women, focusing on vaginal intercourse as the act represented sexual agency because they could maintain their virginity (cf Holland et al., 1996). However, guilt and secrecy pervaded their experiences of any kind sexual intimacy they experienced because of the lack of congru- ency between intrapsychic- and cultural-level scripts.

Defining sex as intercourse allowed many Latinas in this study who resisted and altered cultural messages about sexual women to be intimate

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with romantic partners but not risk being inappropriately sexual and threaten- ing their identity as moral women. “There are specific arenas in which Latina women have some latitude to express sexual pleasure despite negative cul- tural rules, and there are ways in which women demonstrate resistance to restrictive sexual norms” (Irvine, 1995, p. 28). The gaps between dominant ideology and Latinas’ socialization show how conflict existed between vari- ous levels of scripts. They experienced conflict between cultural ideas of sex- ual women, expectations that romantic relationships entailed sexual activity, and their desires to be sexual (intrapsychic level) within romantic relation- ships in which they were involved (interpersonal level). Even if Latinas had previously engaged in vaginal intercourse, restricting sexual activities enabled them to regain control until they found a worthy partner.

Avoiding Players and Being a Flirt Girl

Participants described how Latinas are sorted into two classes of women: Bad women, or flirt girls, are sexually experienced, talk about sex, recognize sexual desire, and have multiple sexual partners, whereas good girls remain virginal (señoritas) until marriage, do not actively initiate sex, and do not dis- cuss sexual issues. Avoiding players and not being seen as a flirt girl related to participants’ ideas about sexual relationships. Women described ideally wanting relationships that involved commitment, reciprocity, and safety. They endorsed a permissiveness-with-affection attitude toward sexual activ- ity; that is, participants evaluated sex within the confines of a stable and affec- tionate relationship as acceptable behavior (making love); very few women endorsed a permissive or recreational attitude toward sexual behavior (hav- ing sex) (Reiss, 1967). The assessment of women who have sex without love as promiscuous influenced participants’ definitions of sex and making love. They responded to ideas of women’s interest in sexual pleasure as threatening (Simon & Gagnon, 1987). Broader cultural scripts portray unemotional and casual sex as negative for women. Participants’ parameters for making love involved long-term committed and intimate relationships in which feelings had developed, even if that had not been their past or present experience in relationships.

If the goals of sexual desire for women entail interpersonal and romantic involvement (Regan & Berscheid, 1996), being seen as promiscuous endan- gers these goals, particularly if men prefer partners with moderate sexual experience (Sprecher, McKinney, & Orbuch, 1991). Few participants dis- cussed sexual pleasure as the primary reason for their sexual relationships; instead, they focused attention on the future of the relationship. Being seen as interested in sexual pleasure may threaten gender identity that women play

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out in their interpersonal relationships (Simon & Gagnon, 1987). Accommo- dating private (intrapsychic) and public (interpersonal) scripts becomes diffi- cult when conflict exists between them; being an object of desire and at the same time desiring another presented participants with feelings that were incongruous with their interactions (Simon & Gagnon, 1987).

Dating a player constituted dangerous behavior because of perceptions that these men were too traditional Latino or traditional macho. “A woman’s identity rests not only on her own behaviors but on her partner’s actions and others’ appraisals and evaluations of her actions” (Horowitz, 1983, p. 119). Maintaining a public image as a virgin or virtuous woman (i.e., only has sex in committed relationships) meant being seen with a respectable man. A man who endorsed a permissive attitude toward sex likely would consider a woman who engaged in sexual activity as a ho or flirt girl. Some women expressed a preference for dating non-Latino men for this reason. All partici- pants craved equal relationships but talked about the difficulty of negotiating sexuality because of identity issues. They feared being labeled negatively by partners and their family. Participants were encouraged to view men as the enemy, an enemy who only wanted them for sexual activities. This conflict can be seen in the traditional dating script in which men play the role of per- suader and women the sexually reluctant ones. The traditional heterosexual script provides limited communicative roles for men and women. Most women in the study reinforced these cultural ideas by stating that men would do anything to have sex (even use condoms), and they had to be vigilant about players. When young women are depicted solely as objects of male desire rather than sexual actors in their own right, this perpetuates cultural-level scripts of women as sexual victims denying that women also experience desire (Fine, 1988).

Safer sex was smart sex, meaning that a woman avoided disease and preg- nancy, as well as cared for her emotional self. The care of the emotional self entailed honesty: knowing when one was involved in a “horrible” relation- ship and getting out, and selecting appropriate partners. One way to ensure emotional health was to avoid players. The most common method for detect- ing a player involved inquiries in one’s social network about the person in question. Women believed asking others the proper questions about a man’s background would provide them with the information necessary to determine a man’s risk, and not just in sexual terms (Lear, 1995).

The idea of safer sex as emotional health and detecting players raises some important issues. First, the participants in this sample were highly educated; they all had or were pursuing higher education. This meant they had access to sexual information and classes that raised their awareness of restrictive gen- der roles and notions of the integration of emotional and physical safety.

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Also, they would have been exposed to a variety of viewpoints that chal- lenged traditional ideas of Latinas’ sexuality. Thus, it seems likely that some women would have considered emotional health to be integral to safer sex.

Other important implications of defining safer sex as emotional reside in Latinas’ level of comfort with sexual talk and their relational scripts. Partici- pants were mostly clear about safer behavior; they were not as confident about how to always accomplish this behavior. Generally, reported condom use was highly inconsistent. Scripts of ideal relationships as committed and monogamous contributed to this inconsistency. More traditional women reported being uncomfortable about sexual talk with partners; it was easier to ask others about a potential partner’s risks.

The decision to practice safer sex requires the acknowledgment of sexual activity and potentially casting the relationship as casual, something that is not considered appropriate for “good girls” (Marin, Gomez, et al., 1993). Less traditional Latinas reported more confidence in their ability to negotiate condom use compared with more traditional Latinas as Latinas who carry condoms and discuss contraception and condom use with partners may be labeled promiscuous. Women may engage in unprotected sex to feel emo- tionally close to a partner and to avoid being seen as a whore (cf Sobo, 1995). This suggests that comfort level with sex, reasons for not using condoms, and acceptance of cultural norms are important matters to consider when design- ing intervention programs.

Implications

Educators and practitioners should consider Latinas’ personal and cultural definitions of sex as well as their acculturation levels. Young Latinas, part of the so-called Generation Ñ, wrestle with sexual identity issues, and many reject traditional roles. Haubegger (1999) felt that women in her generation are less tolerant in general, and specifically less tolerant of machismo, cheat- ing, and being submissive to men. Acculturation pressures are particularly important because they represent the dialectical tension between desire for separation from past norms and wishes to retain Latin culture.

Prevention programs should allow for discussion about traditional and changing scripts of sexuality at various levels. Programs that ask for changes in interpersonal scripts that conflict with cultural norms may fail (Irvine, 1995). Traditional gender-role norms do not provide women with the skills and attitudes required to effectively negotiate sexual practices (Gomez & Marin, 1996). The ability to negotiate sexual behavior requires comfort and in some cases explicit talk that can threaten an individual’s self-concept and relationship. The fear of being labeled a flirt girl may keep women from

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being as open as they truly want and need with their sexual partners. Women who engage in unprotected oral sex as a means of abstinence and/or to protect their reputations may be placing themselves at risk (cf Remez, 2000). Latinas require sexual communication skills training in an atmosphere characterized by sensitivity to cultural norms.

The results of this study show the need to study other groups of Latinas. The women in this study all had higher education, were fairly acculturated, and most had grown up in the United States. The process of contending with messages about sexuality most likely differs for Latinas with other back- grounds and situations (e.g., not highly educated, not highly acculturated, lesbians). Future research should address how Latinas from different back- grounds define sexuality and negotiate sexual activity within and outside their cultural frameworks.

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Sandra L. Faulkner is an assistant professor in the Department of Speech Communica- tion at Syracuse University, researching ethnic identity, intergroup communication, self-disclosure, and sexual talk. She received her master’s (1995) and Ph.D. (1999) from The Pennsylvania State University with emphases in interpersonal communication and women’s studies. She teaches courses in sexual communication, qualitative research methods, and interpersonal and intercultural communication. She pays tribute to her southern childhood roots when she makes her luscious peach pies.

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