Best Self Paper

Hooked on Approval

Read each statement below. Circle “T” if the statement is true or mostly true, or circle “F” if

the statement is false or mostly false.

T F 1. If someone disapproves of me, I feel like I’m not very worthwhile.

T F 2. It’s extremely important to be liked by nearly everyone in my life.

T F 3. I avoid making mistakes in front of others at all costs.

T F 4. I believe I need the approval of others more than most people do.

T F 5. I need others to approve of me in order to really feel good about myself.

T F 6. It bothers me a lot to learn that someone doesn’t like me.

T F 7. If people I respect act disappointed in me, I dwell on it for days.

T F 8. In a restaurant, I rarely send a meal back to the kitchen if it isn’t to my liking.

T F 9. I’d rather keep an unsatisfactory item than return it to the store.

T F 10. I seem to need everyone’s approval before I can make an important decision.

T F 11. I’m strongly motivated by the praise and approval I get from others.

T F 12. I’m deeply concerned about what others think of me in most areas of my life.

T F 13. I get very defensive when criticism is directed at me.

T F 14. I need to have everyone like me, even though I don’t really like everyone.

T F 15. I have lied or been dishonest in order to avoid the disapproval of people who are

important to me.

T F 16. It only takes one person’s criticism or disapproval in a group to upset me, even

when everyone else is giving me praise.

T F 17. I have trouble asking others for favors and tend to apologize a lot.

How to score and interpret your answers: Total the number of times you circled “true.”

 If your score is between 13-17, you are addicted to the approval of others and to avoiding other’s disapproval.

 If your score is between 8-12, you have an overly strong concern with what others think of you. Your desire for approval may be a problem and warrants your immediate

attention.

 If your score is between 3-7, your approval needs are moderate. However, your desire for approval and your concern about how others think of you still predispose you to being a

people-pleaser.

 If your score is 2 or less, you don’t have major approval seeking problems.

Hooked on Control

Read each statement below. Circle “T” if the statement is true or mostly true, or circle “F” if the

statement is false or mostly false.

T F 1. If I can control others, they will do what I want them to do.

T F 2. I need to keep everything orderly and predictable.

T F 3. I hate to feel out of control or to lose control.

T F 4. I believe that if things don’t go my way, I have to work harder.

T F 5. I have a difficult time seeing people hurting because their lives are out of control.

T F 6. It bothers me to have people see my true feelings, so I struggle to control my

feelings in front of others.

T F 7. I am always on the lookout for being taken advantage of by others.

T F 8. I often step into a situation when I see something that needs to be fixed.

T F 9. When I know in my own mind how something should be done, I work at trying to

get it to be that way.

T F 10. I am afraid that if I don’t take care of something, it won’t get done.

T F 11. I find it difficult not to help when I am presented with a person or thing appearing

helpless.

T F 12. I’m deeply concerned about being led or manipulated into doing something I don’t

want to do.

T F 13. I tend to convey an “It’s my way or the highway” approach with people who refuse

to do something that needs to be done.

T F 14. I want everybody I love to be happy, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that

happen.

T F 15. When I feel intimidated, I compensate by taking more control of the situation.

How to score and interpret your answers: Total the number of times your circled “true.”

 If your score is between 12-15, you are addicted to control.

 If your score is between 7-11, you have an overly strong concern with control. Your desire for control is a problem and warrants your immediate attention.

 If your score is between 3-6, your control needs are moderate. However, your predisposition to want to control your environment may cause others to view you as somewhat overbearing.

 If your score is 2 or less, you don’t have major problems with control.

Plot It Yourself!

Using your “Hooked on Approval” and “Hooked on Control” scores, plot to see where you fit in

the typologies. For example, a “15” on Approval and an “11” on Control puts you in the

“Manipulator” category.

Need for Approval 17

16

15

Spectator Manipulator 14

13

12

11

Need for Control 10

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

9

8

7

Facilitator 6 Dictator

5

4

3

2