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Nicole, thank you so much for sharing your draft with us.
This Dickinson poem is full of rich imagery and meaning, so I'm glad you've chosen it for your essay. You've got a good start here and what you'll want to do is really focus in on a theme. Death is a topic and if you complete that thought, you will have a full theme. We will also want to make sure to limit any outside information (from other authors) down to below 25% of the essay.
Please watch this video for a full understanding of theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0heUJ5Q-skU&feature=player_embedded&list=PL2PGo4FIZJeQUixVHlfxQUO1TbitlsYYf?wmode=transparent
We'll also want to avoid the paragraph labels and, instead, we will start with an introduction that ends in your thesis statement. Then you would share your body paragraphs (each with its own topic sentence which supports the thesis and organizes what will be covered in that paragraph). The conclusion would then start with a reiteration of the thesis. You would end the conclusion as generally as the introduction began.
I hope this feedback helps as you revise your essay. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
Prof.
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