COM200: Interpersonal Communication

Running head: LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 1

Letter: to Terry and Dana - Outline

Student’s Name

COM200: Interpersonal Communication

Instructor’s Name

Date (Sample March 19, 2014)1

1 This is a sample of what is necessary on your title page.

Purpose: Use this sample assignment for a better understanding of what is present in a high quality final paper outline. We’ve included these elements of constructive criticism to demonstrate that even “A” quality work still receives comments to improve the student’s thinking and writing on the topic. Hover over the information symbol ( ) or select the numbers within the text to read about what the student has done well in this assignment and also some areas for improvement.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 2

I. Introduction - Thesis Statement

I am writing this letter to you to help you on your new relationship journey in order to

improve communication through better listening and communication skills, and to make

you aware of your ability to face emotions, and how to open up and share with your

spouse.2

II. Body Paragraph # 1 - Describe the process by which self-concept is developed and

maintained.3

A. Topic Sentence: A successful relationship starts with knowing yourself, known as

your self-concept, and understanding how this was developed and continues to

change will better prepare you for your relationship.

B. Supporting Evidence: Sole explains that a person builds their self-concept based

on how they believe others see them, often based off a reference group or

feedback from other people. Sole also contends that this is an ongoing process

and a person can change perceptions based on communication skills (Sole, 2011,

Section 3.1).4

C. Explanation: It is important to understand how and why you view yourself in this

way so that you can better communicate with your spouse, and know that their

feedback to you will affect your self-concept.5

2 A thesis should make some type of claim. This student’s thesis would be stronger if there was more of a declaration. 3 Please note that the learning objectives changed after 11/24/2015. Be sure to use the learning objectives listed in the assignment prompt 4 This paper was written with an older version of this text, written only by Sole and in 2011. Be sure to use the version of the text being used in your class. 5 This is effective because the student begins with a point from the text and then makes connections to his or her life.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 3

D. So What?: Knowing this information about yourself will better prepare you for

the relationship and help you communicate back to your partner.6

III. Body Paragraph #2 - Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening.

A. 7Topic Sentence: Once you know yourself, you must learn to listen to what your

___________ 8partner is communicating to you, and you must have strategies in place to

_______ determine when particular skills for active listening, or empathic listening may be

warranted, or the need listen for comprehension is present.9

6 This is a good application of self-concept because it demonstrates that it is an ongoing process and that the relationships we have with others will shape how we see ourselves, and how we conceptualize ourselves will influence how we interact with others. This will then improve our communication. 7 The student needed to indent five spaces to remain consistent in formatting. 8 Again, to remain consistent, the student should continue to indent on the second and remaining lines.

9 Good transition, as the student links self-concept to the next section – listening.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 4

A. Supporting Evidence: Sole gives the description of the different types of listening

which then can be applied to various listening skills depending on the set needed.

B. Explanation: There will be certain circumstances in a relationship when one

partner will need to know what type of listening is needed and which skills must

be put into play to effectively understand the other person and respond

accordingly.

C. So What?: The importance of this can be exemplified as such: understanding

when your partner only needs an empathic ear, without judgment, will be very

helpful in a healthy relationship because there are times when your spouse will

just want you to understand where they are coming from, even if it seems reason

does not apply.10

IV. Body Paragraph #3 - Recognize how words have the power to create and affect attitudes,

behavior, and perception.

A. Topic Sentence: When speaking to your partner, choose your words carefully

because what you say, and how you say it, will have an impact on the perception

of what you are saying, may create an unintended tone in the conversation, and

can affect the response you receive back.

10 Great direct application of advice about listening for this specific couple.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 5

B. Supporting Evidence: Stevens states that right from birth, actions and words of

others affect how people develop in society. He adds that good communication

techniques can build or preserve self-esteem. (Stevens, 1995).11

C. Explanation: Right from childhood, people listen to the feedback of others to

create perceptions of self, to modify their behavior, and respond with an

appropriate attitude.12

D. So What?: If a couple wishes to be productive in their interpersonal

communication they need to take care of the words they choose and the manner in

which they convey the words, as well as body language and tone.

V. Body Paragraph #4 - Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal

relationships.

A. Topic Sentence: Understanding your emotional intelligence, and that of your

partner, can help you navigate through the emotional highs and lows of your

relationship because you will be able to better handle your emotions and feelings,

as well as those of your partner.13

B. Supporting Evidence: Sole cites Zatura’s definition of emotional intelligence as

having three parts:

* the ability to effectively perceive, communicate, and manage negative emotions

* the ability to experience, communicate, and sustain positive emotions; and

11 Good use of an outside source. 12 Good connection back to self-concept, showing how interrelated these terms are. 13 Good rationale for why we pay attention to emotions.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 6

* the ability to retain perspectiveduring difficult times and to recover following stressful events

(as cited in Sole, 2011, Section 9.2).14

C. Explanation: Understanding how your partner handles stressful events will make

it easier for you to interpret their communications, and being cognitive of your

own interpretation of stimulus can help you make better decisions.15

D. So What?: If you know your spouse reacts in a knee-jerk fashion to bad sudden

news and cannot control their emotions, you can be better prepared for their

method of communication and understand that it is not directed at you. This is

particularly helpful if you can then control your response to smooth over the

incident.16

VI. Body Paragraph #5 - Evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships.

A. Topic Sentence: Self-disclosure, or opening up to one another to share intimate

thoughts is important to a healthy relationship and knowing how much to share

and when will make the process of self-disclosure more successful.

B. Supporting Evidence:

1. Schoenberg cites a study that says that showing your partner that you care

about them and that they are loved is a key component to a successful

relationship, and opening up through communication, known as self-

disclosure, is a way to achieve that (Schoenberg, 2011).

14 Correct citation. 15 It would be nice to focus directly on emotions as well 16 Great advice!

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 7

2. Sole contends that you must evaluate how the listener will respond and use

the information you wish to disclose so that you do so at the proper times

and in the proper context (Sole, 2011, Section 7.5).

C. Explanation: While a partner should not wish to keep secrets, it is important to

understand how items you wish to share, or not share, will affect your spouse, and

plan accordingly.17 In addition, it is important for a spouse to know what is

appropriate to share with others outside the relationship. It is also important to

make sure there is the proper amount of self-disclosure to allow your relationship

to grow and prosper.

D. So What?: It is important to engage your partner in meaningful communication

that shows your interest in their person, rather than their day-to-day routines, and

an effective way is to ask personal questions and to also share your own

experiences. You will want to gauge the appropriate places to engage in such

conversations, as well as the proper moments.18

VII. Conclusion - Thesis statement:

Ray and Steve, this letter has shown you ways to share yourself emotionally with your

spouse, while preparing you to handle the feelings, and gave you ways to improve your

17 Nice, thoughtful advice about consideration of others when thinking about disclosure. 18 This section would be stronger if the student were to better explain the benefits of disclosure and it to closeness or even self-concept.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 8

communication through better skills to listen and reflect in hopes of making your

relationship expedition a successful one.19

19 Good restatement of the key points. If the student had begun with a stronger thesis in the introduction, that could have been restated here as well.

LETTER: TO STEVE AD RAY 9

References

Schoenberg, N. (2011, January 17). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of

communication in happy marriages. McClatchy-Tribune News Service. Retrieved from

ProQuest Newsstand. Document ID: 224037026120

Stephens, K. (1995, Jun 11). STICKS AND STONES?21: It's the words that really

hurt. Pantagraph. Retrieved from

http://search.proquest.com/docview/252161693?accountid=32521

Sole, K.22 (2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San

Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc.23

20 Please only use “Retrieved…” when offering a link to a url. The latter part of that reference should be omitted. 21 Please don’t use all capital letters for any portion of a reference. 22 Sole is before Stephens alphabetically and therefore should be the second reference. 23 This is mostly a perfect reference list!