Response help!

PEER EDITING CHECKLIST Use  this  rubric-­‐based  checklist  to  ensure  you  have  provided  a  thorough  Peer  Review.       TEACH A MAN TO FISH . . . Keep  in  mind  that  we  are  all  our  own  editors.  You  are  tasked  with  identifying  errors,  issues,  and  areas  for   improvement—not  correcting  or  copyediting  your  peer’s  paper.  Provide  the  type  of  feedback  that  you  would   like  to  receive—be  kind,  be  constructive,  and  make  suggestions  for  improvement  if  you  think  something  needs   work.  However,  do  not  spend  hours  copyediting  someone’s  paper  or  fixing  his  or  her  formatting;  simply  point   out  the  issues  and  direct  him  or  her  to  appropriate  resources  where  he  or  she  can  learn  how  to  correct  the   problem.       INVENTION o Does  this  draft—or  very  thorough  outline—respond  to  the  prompt  appropriately?  (In  other  words,  is  the  

student  following  the  directions  in  the  prompt,  or  perhaps  going  off-­‐topic  or  even  making  up  a  new  one?)   o Does  this  draft  have  a  clear  working  thesis  statement?     ARRANGEMENT o Are  the  main  points/body  paragraphs  introduced  with  clear  topic  sentences  that  reiterate  the  overall  

thesis?   o Is  the  reader  guided  from  one  main  idea  to  the  next  with  effective  transitions?     o Are  the  main  points/body  paragraphs  arranged  in  a  logical  order  that  emphasizes  the  thesis  statement?   o Are  ideas  expressed  fluidly  at  the  sentence-­‐level  through  grammatically  correct  complex  sentences?     o Are  there  any  sentences  that  are  short  (or  choppy)  that  could  be  combined  to  improve  the  overall  flow?     STYLE o Is  the  style  and  tone  of  the  draft  appropriate  for  an  academic  audience?  

o See  chapter  3  in  the  MLA  Handbook   o Is  paraphrased  or  summarized  information  and  evidence  from  sources  incorporated  into  the  text  effectively  

according  to  MLA  guidelines?   o See  chapter  6  in  the  MLA  Handbook,  as  well  as  the  Incorporating  Sources  Effectively  video  tutorial  

(available  on  Blackboard  >  Start  Here!  >  Resources)   o Are  quotations  incorporated  effectively  according  to  MLA  guidelines?  

o See  chapters  3  and  6  in  the  MLA  Handbook,  as  well  as  the  Incorporating  Sources  Effectively  video   tutorial  (available  on  Blackboard  >  Start  Here!  >  Resources)  

MEMORY o Does  this  draft  contain  an  introduction  that  grabs  attention,  establishes  the  essay’s  structure,  and  

introduces  the  thesis  statement/point?   o Does  this  draft  include  a  conclusion  that  moves  beyond  a  simple  restatement  of  the  introduction,  resonates  

with  the  reader,  and  cements  the  point/thesis  clearly?   o Is  the  thesis  consistent  from  the  introduction  to  the  conclusion?       DELIVERY o Is  the  body  text  of  the  essay—not  including  the  heading,  title,  and  Works  Cited—at  least  500  words?     o Is  the  document  formatted  correctly  in  MLA  style?  

o See  chapter  4  in  the  MLA  Handbook,  as  well  as  the  example  MLA  document  template  (available  on   Blackboard  >  Start  Here!  >  Resources)  

o Is  the  list  of  Works  Cited  formatted  correctly  according  to  MLA  guidelines?   o See  chapters  4  and  5  in  the  MLA  Handbook  

o Are  in-­‐text  citations  formatted  correctly  according  to  MLA  guidelines?   o See  chapter  6  in  the  MLA  Handbook,  and  consult  the  Resources  content  folder  on  Blackboard  for  

helpful  handouts   o Are  there  any  grammar,  spelling,  or  mechanics  errors?  

o See  chapter  3  in  the  MLA  Handbook  for  mechanics  rules;  for  example,  formatting  titles  of  works   (what  goes  in  bold,  what  goes  in  quotations,  what  goes  in  italics,  etc.),  formatting  words  and   letters  referred  to  as  words  and  letters,  formatting  numbers  and  dates,  and  so  on  

 

1st Person!

1. The topic of my essay is about public higher education (college), and how it has become extremely

costly, and has caused many to have piles of debt after they finish. I was introduced to tuition free

college when my friend visited Norway, and told me that they can go to college for free. Obviously

this really aggravated me, and got me thinking. So many jobs now require a college degree at the

bare minimum, but yet have increased the costs so that it has become unattainable for many. As a

person in a middle class family, I do not receive any financial aid, and have to pay for a lot of my

tuition as my parents cannot afford to put two kids in college (and graduate school) at the same

time.

2. I struggled with forming sentences the most. I knew what idea I wanted to get across in my head,

but could not put it into words. Also, I need to think of more ideas of how we can lower the prices

of tuition, and could not find that much information on our library database.

3. The main issue in my paper is the formatting in my sentences. I’m sure you’ll notice that I have a

lot of sentences that have (reword) at the end, this means that I have the idea but I could not convey

it in a way that sounded appropriate. Secondly, if you have any ideas for how tuition could be more

affordable it would really help! So far in my paper I have wrote about free community college (the

Tennessee Promise), and I want to also include more financial help for those going on to graduate

school, like myself. Finally, any grammatical errors! I have not cited anything yet, though I do have

the list. As you can see, it is a very rough draft at this point.

2nd Person!

1. I have chosen the "Should College be Free" topic on Room for Debate. I chose this topic

because I feel it is a popular topic that is discussed between people of my age.

2. One element that I might have struggled on is making sure everything in my paper has the

correct MLA formatting.

3. 1. MLA formatting

2. Works cited page

3. Proper explanation of the topic

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1st Person

25 January 2016

Should Higher Education Be Free?

Germany, Finland, Brazil, France, Norway, Slovenia, and Sweden; what do all of these

countries have in common? They all have free public higher education. In our day and age, a

college degree is barely enough to obtain a career. As an education-obsessed age, we are

constantly told to reach higher, and grab more. While it may be impossible to make all higher

education free, there are other options that should be considered (explain what options).

In an article written by Sara Goldrick-Rab, she explains that public higher education

should be universal and free. In this article, Sara states that, “Most politicians continue to think

that the way to make college more affordable is to target financial aid to low-income students”

(Goldrick-Rab, Sara). While this helps some individuals, targeted financial aid is just not getting

the job done, and often provides too little to too few. The Free Application for Federal Student

aids divides students into two groups, neither of them really winning. One half of the group is

deemed deserving of help via financial aid, but is usually offered far short of the resources

required to effectively pursue their studies and graduate-reword. On the other hand, students

from middle-class families are treated as if they can manage with loans alone. Over time,

families that don’t get aid resent those who do (Goldrick-Rab, Sara). As a person from a middle-

class family, I can fully attest to this. Many of times, I have gotten frustrated with the system,

and felt helpless. While my parents help some, I am still paying a portion of my schooling, and

will be required to pay for all schooling past undergraduate (which I plan to go on). However,

the system sees that my parents make a steady income, and refuses to give any monetary

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assistance. Financing for universal public higher education continues to be a matter of political

will, and will only happen if universal public education recognizes that college must be

affordable for all if it is to help drive our economy and our democracy (Goldrick-Rab, Sara). In

order for college tuition to become reasonable, lowering prices for students would only be the

beginning (reword). Along with this comes the shared responsibility for funding higher

education, while insuring quality simultaneously. This balance helps students focus on learning,

and obtaining more skills as a result (reword). As a result of overpriced education, students start

rushing to complete degrees faster and focusing on working to afford the ever growing costs,

instead of concentrating on learning. This in return creates a lower quality experience (and

more).

Every year, tuition and fees climb 6.6%, and have increased a whopping 1,120% since

1978 (US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau). While the prices have gone up significantly,

so has the number of jobs that require a college degree, and completion of higher education is no

longer considered optional for employment. Not surprisingly, most of us believe that going to

college is essential, and the key to an economic future and the American Dream (Shmick, Bill).

Conversely, most critics argue that if we allow students become a part of the flawed system (like

high school has become), the educational system will be called to an end (Shmick, Bill). As costs

continue to rise, “tuition-free” colleges will only shift the costs from students to tax payers.

Additionally, colleges that import this free tuition ideal will most likely not have the resources

available to serve additional students, without compromising the quality of their offerings

(Andrew). If the amount of tuition decreased, more students would apply, and in return, more

would get turned away. A solid example of this is during the recession, many took notice that

California offered the cheapest community college fees in the nation. During the midst of this

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recession, enrollment numbers boomed and the state budget for higher education took a hit.

Because California could not raise additional revenue through tuition increase, 600,000 students

were turned away (Andrew). The public school system that Thomas Jefferson once suggested in

order to create good citizens, unite society, and prevent crime and poverty has turned into a

money chugging scheme. So, what do we do now?

In order for higher education to be more affordable, there has to be some sort of a

compromise. Although free tuition colleges would be the most appealing for college students, it

is just not idyllic (reword). One compromise that is already in place is called the Tennessee

Promise. The Tennessee Promise offers free tuition for high school graduates of any income and

any aptitude (TN Promise: Room for Debate). This deal can secure that promise at a relatively

low cost: $1,020 per student per year (TN Promise: Room for Debate). While this is an enticing

offer, it can sometimes cause unmotivated students to be worked in with those who are serious

about their education. Often times, these students will interrupt class and will take away valuable

time from helping students who truly want to learn. In order to avoid this I believe there should

be a requirement to test into these community colleges, because often times students see free

tuition and will not try as hard. In the end, students who have not maintained the set GPA will be

kicked out, wasting others money and their time.

Citations used:

Goldrick-Rab, Sara. "Public Higher Education Should Be Universal and Free." Room for Debate. New York

Times, 20 Jan. 2016. Web. 25 Jan. 2016.

Schmick, B. (2012, Feb 10). Should college be free? The Brattleboro Reformer Retrieved from

http://search.proquest.com.liblink.uncw.edu/docview/923854199?accountid=14606

Kelly, Andrew P. "The Problem Is That Free College Isn't Free." Room for Debate. New York Times, 20

Jan. 2016. Web. 25 Jan. 2016.

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Carruthers, Celeste. "Tennessee Is Showing How Free Tuition Community Colleges Work." Room for

Debate. New York Times, 20 Jan. 2016. Web. 25 Jan. 2016.

2nd Person

1/28/2016

Free College

In the world today, there are many controversial topics that are talked about from day-to-day.

Many of these topics are highly discussed between individuals with different viewpoints that feel their

viewpoint is correct. This leads to heated discussions and debates. In today’s world, the idea of being

“online” is a lot more popular than having face-to-face conversations. This allows people to voice their

opinions almost anonymously without having to provide any proof to their statements. This can result

with very confused readers, as they do not know which information is fact, and which information is just

an opinion.

The New York Times has created a page on their website specifically for online debates about

controversial topics that are being talked about throughout the world today. Ironic enough, they have

named this online page as “Room for Debate”. First, a topic is posted and then professional authors,

poets, business professionals, and professors are given the opportunity to voice their opinion and write

about how they feel about the topic. With these professionals coming from many different fields of

work, background, and schooling, their viewpoints are often different from one another. With that being

said, their viewpoints can also be a like, but their reasons for it can be different.

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After the professionals have posted their viewpoints on the topic, then the public is allowed to

post comments on the topics page. The public is allowed to post whatever they want about the topic but

if it is deemed provocative or inappropriate, the “Room for Debate” editors will take it down. This gives

the public the opportunity to post their opinions about the topics that are being talked about in the

world today. If someone does not want to post their opinion, it is a great opportunity for them to read

the other posts and see if they share any of the same opinions with the people interested in this topic.

With people in the world today ranging anywhere from 16-25 years old, one of the most popular

talked about topics is the cost of college. College in the United States has mostly come down to if

someone is able to afford it or not, rather than it being if someone wants to go to college or not. The

average college tuition in the United States right now in this moment is anywhere from $10,000-50,000

per year for a 4-year school. This has lead to many people doing their first 2 years at a community

college in order to keep the tuition costs down. This allows the students to get the basic classes they

need, at usually half the cost of a 4-year school. Once the student has finished their 2 years at a

community college, they then transfer to a 4-year school to finish the rest of their 2 years of college and

obtain a degree.

On “Room for Debate” at this moment, there is a topic posted of “Should College be Free?”

Andrew P. Kelly was the first person to voice his opinion on this topic. Andrew P. Kelly is a resident

scholar and the director of the Center on Higher Education Reform at the American Enterprise Institute.

He starts off his post by saying, “the problem is that free college isn’t free”. What he means by this is

that the cost of every student’s tuition would go from the students paying it, to the taxpayers paying it.

He also states that the idea of “free college” is a good political talking point, but that it is flawed policy.

This means that when politicians talk about the idea of free college it might sound good to the people,

but the people and the politician themselves might not know the implications behind it. Andrew P. Kelly

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also said that if the cost of tuition would fall back onto the taxpayers, it would limit what the college

spends to whatever the taxpayers are willing to pay.

Andrew P. Kelly then goes on to state that if the taxpayers were the only ones funding colleges,

he believes that there is a possibility that the colleges would not be able to provide the resources

demanded because of the increased number of students attending. In his post, he gave an example of

how this affected California in the recent years. California has the cheapest community college tuitions

fees compared to the rest of the United States. When the recession hit, the enrollment into the

California community colleges skyrocketed and they were unable to provide the resources necessary for

the excess students. In the end, California had to turn away 600,000 students. Andrew P. Kelly ended his

post by saying he believes the government should give the scarce money that there is to the students

that really need it.

Sara Goldrick-Rab wrote the next post on the “Should College be Free” topic. Sara Goldrick-Rab

“is a professor of educational policy studies and sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is

the founder of the Wisconsin HOPE Lab, the nation's first translational research laboratory on college

affordability and the author of the forthcoming "Paying the Price: College Costs, Financial Aid and the

Betrayal of the American Dream." Unlike Andrew P. Kelly, Sara Goldrick-Rab has a complete opposite

opinion on if college should be free or not.

Sara Goldrick-Rab started off her post by saying the way the system is set up is not working. At

this moment, the financial aid is focused to students that are categorized as “low-income”. After

studying higher education for 15 years, Sara believes that it isn’t getting the job done. For a universal

higher education system to work, Sara Goldrick-Rab believes that it will come down to political will. This

can also be with a combination of lower tuition prices and ensuring equality. She also believes that

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middle class families are hit hard by the high tuition costs because they are given little to no financial aid

from the government, and then end up having to take out loans.

Comparing both arguments by Andrew P. Kelly, and Sara Goldrick-Rab, Andrew presents a

stronger argument. This is because he has a lot more specific reasons why his opinions are correct. In

the argument presented by Sara Goldrick-Rab, she presents many good ideas of how to make higher

education an equal opportunity, but said it is all going to come down to politics. Whether college

becomes a free service or stays as a high dollar opportunity cost, it is going to be a controversial topic

for many years.

Work Cited

"Should College Be Free?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 2016. Web. 28 Jan. 2016.

Kelly, Andrew P. "Should College Be Free?" Should College Be Free. Room for Debate. Web.

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Goldrick-Rab, Sara. "Public Higher Education Should Be Universal and Free." Should College Be Free.

Room for Debate. Web.