Re-Examination 5

Running head: Edcy M. Lebron, 52148226,05017700, 8533 Quarter Horse Dr Riverview FL

33578, [email protected]

Examination Lesson 4

Edcy M. Lebron

52r48226

10t231t5

English Composition

05017700

Comnr€nt [ylrul]: while a title page look nice, it is not needed. Thank you for using the headertool for your header. lt makes keeping the header ih place regardless what happens to the text so muqh easier.

Running head: Edcy M. Lebron, 52148226,05017700, 8533 QuarterHorse Dr Riverview FL 3357 8, [email protected]

Exam 050177 - Prewriting Process Analysis

Traits of Good Writing Review pages 164-169 in your sudy guidefor a complete

explanation ofthe rating you earned for each lrait as well as references you can study to improve your writing skills-

skill Realized

sLirl Developing

skin Emrging

Not Shom

Ideas & Content The writer covered all 3 areas ofhis or her life: home, work and school. The writer effectively showed a plan for how they cope with stress and accomplish all tasks in a given day.

30 28 26 24 )) l5 0

Organization All areas ofthe writer's life are addressed with specific details for each given area ofhis or her life. A thesis has been properly identified.

25 23 22 2l l9 t2 0

Voice The writer appropriately intemcts with the assigned audience using consistent point ofview, tone and enough evidence to build into a narration essay. Maintains a clear stance on the topic.

l0 9 8 7 5 4 0

Word Choice The writer mskes correct verb and word choices, defined any terms that may have been unfamiliar, and conveyed a clear message. Transitional words are present

and used correctly.

l0 9 8 7 6 4 0

Grammar & Sentences The witer used conect grammar, spelling, punctuation and sentence structure. Their essay was free ofany typographical errors.

l0 9 8 7 6 4 0

Format There are 2 sections containing at least 500 words in each section. The writer used a standard font and margins and included all necessary header information. Unnecessary title page.

t5 t4 I3 l2 1l 8 0

Examnumberi 050177 Date of evaluation: 1012612D15

Exam grade: 86 Evaluated by: rjl

Description Portion

Running head: Edcy M. Lebron, 52148226,05017700, 8533 Quarter Horse Dr Riverview FL 33578, [email protected]

3

My name is Edcy. I come from a middle-class family. My most important virtues in comment [wu2]: rndenteach new paracraph.

life are religion, morality and the respect for the elderly. I am usually a modem

thinker, but I also esteem the values ofour great ancestors. I would have never

expected to be a student at this age once in life, but my late grandmother encouraged

me to pursue my dream of being a teacher whatever the circumstance. Blessed with a

wonderful husband and three lovely kids I find it as a motivating factor to keep me

going and a reason to smile every moming. It is barely six months I went back to crrnment [wu3l; Missins mrd - since

school to realize my dreams with the support of my family. Studying while being a

parent has its challenges but I learn to cope-upwith the chores in my family once I Formatted: strikethroush

come home from school. Once home, usually shift from being a student at school and

a teacher in the house. It is because my husband and I stay with our lovely kids. I comment [wu4]r rncompr€tesentence. Missing the subject ofthe sentence.

change to being a responsible mother and embrace the duties and responsibilities that mm:H,Y,t"lj,*:::i"tj".lT:i"TJ:' and the choice you ar€ makint. But what I mean

come with being a mum. I take an active role in preparing the meals for dinner, do the ;H;lij:*.ff,:T"1'#:"H,:"T""*"

family laundry and provide necessary help with the kid's homework. As ifthese are :iil:::::il1::f;;:[I:fr::"'i;;:"""" paragraph.

not enough, I also take the responsibility ofcleaning the house and bathrooms and

take the boys for a walk and the dog. On Wednesday evening, I have to find time to comm€nt [wu6]r rakins.

attend the evening vespers in a local church and participate in the practice ofsongs

that we usually sing on Sundays. With all these workload, with my asing mother ffi,ffi_H^tJl,i.T,l:irili;]lll1jr,"".

across rown, I find time to slip over to check on her wellbeing. In this trip, I buy her l:1fffly;"'ff,:3,1T:i'il1L':loJ"''""""0' awkwardness of the area,

medical requirement and stuffher depleted shopping and listen to her speak about her

olden days and the sound relationship they had with my dad. Finally, managing to ffifff,Hf*.",fjJ:T:ijj:f,"." handle all these pressures, I need a little time for myself too. Being a student, I need to @ncise'

Running head: Edcy M. Lebron, 52148226,05017700, 8533 Quarter Hone Dr Riverview FL 33 57 8, [email protected]

4

prepare daily lesson plans and study to ensure productivity at school. With the ever comment lwug]r As a student you need to prepac daily lesson plans? Remind us what kind of

disturbing boys around I find it so difficult to handle the work and sing a lullaby for :Hx',::l:i. *' *

"is doe$'t stop someone wh€n

them until they sleep. At no point in time, my husband is home, and we take dinner

and sleep. Being so exhausted. I wake early at 4.30 am and pray, read and do my

homework since peace is maintained as the kids are asleep. It enables me to fulfil my

duties as a student and then prepares breakfast for the kids and drops them by the

school as I proceed to my school. With all this pressures, I appreciate myself for being crmment [wulo]: Run on 3ent€nce. Comm€nt [WUU]! lknowyou said you were

a mother since it gives me a sense of responsibility and honour among my worhnates l3,ll',lti?,?i "ri?jiiJ;;::.:';:frX:jff"". ," ,. this scntence? Penh Foster is an online school. Are

and church mates. It also gives me a chance to develop skills that can enable me to ::lf::,::l,r:::T:j:"X"J,:i:j:r#:

work in ever disturbing environments in the future. Though hectic, I am proud being a *hool?nrhis j$t neds to be darified' rhis ties into

Comm€nt IWU12l3 Not saying this ii wrog. mUm and a StUdent aS Well at thg Same time. This isiust a spellins usually not sen in th! states.

Process portion

With all these pressures, I had to come up with the plan to mitigate these challenges conrrent [wu13]: rndent each new parasraph

and spare me some more time for my studies. Organizational skills are paramount for

any student, and I had to do whatever possible to bring sanity to my work schedule. comment [wu14l: where do you work? what do you do?

First, I had to talk to my lovely husband to let him know the situation I am in manage

the finances well, take care of the kids and family and be up to date with school work. comm€rrt lwulsl3 Run on sentsce.

First, in a family dinner I make it clear that the two kids will be handling their school

assignments parallel with me after dinner this was to ensure they are pre-occupied. comm€nt [wu16l3 Run on sentence.

ThisschemewastoensureIgetpeaceofmindwhilesfudyingtoo.Ialso.askedmyFormatted:Hi;hli9ht

husband to chip into my rescue in two or three nights of his choice to help me with Comment IWU17]: Verb tense ihiftint,

preparing dinner for the family. The next thing I decide to bestow the responsibility of Formatted: Hiehtieht

Running head: Edcy M. Lebron, 52148226,05017700, 8533 Quarter Horse Dr Riverview FL 33578, [email protected]

family laundry to my elder son who is approaching 15 years of age and the

responsibility of taking the younger boy for a walk with the family dog. I cut on the

trips of to my mother's place by ensuring she got enough supply of the medical pills

and the requisite shopping for barely a month. All these in retum created sufficient

time for me to attend church services and washing of the bathroom when being home

from school. Then I adopted the scheme ofpurchasing suflicient foodstuffs forthe

family to minimize trips to the grocery. It was also to ensure the family runs on an

ever balanced diet for the perfect growth and development ofthe kids. Cutting out on

this time wasting mechanisms and delegation of the duties to my family member'

helped me a great deal in accomplishing my home school works..{ith consultations

yith my husband, I also struck a deal that as we will be waking up early in the

morning to pray and after that, he will prepare breakfast for the kids as I update my

school assignments. It was a breakthrough agreement as I am very productive in the

morning. Being fresh and pure in reason in the moming helped me out in unravelling

the school related activities. He also agreed to be the one dropping the kids to school

as I prepare, also to start my other new day in school. Finally, I scheduled my choir

meeting and vespers to be strictly one hour on Wednesday to ensure I don't eat into

my daily schedule. With these very many school time recovery mechanisms, I am

very positive with the support of the family I am going to sail through to becoming a

teacher. Having received this support from the people who care and believe in me, I

felt better and obliged to ensure I make them proud. The ample time from my

Cmment [WU18]; Phrasins here. I know you p.obably don't mean this, but this reads like home school works, as ifyou it is the work of home schooling yourelf or childreh. This needs to be made more clear ahd concise.

Formatted: Highlight

Comm€nt [WU19]i Repeated words wlTH. Replace one. Pe.haps the word AFTER would be helpful?

Formatted: Highiight

Comment [WU2O]: Good sentence.

Formatted: Strikethrough

Comm€Ia [WU21l: Excellent step

Commnt IWU2iIIi Rephrase this