Re- Examination 6 Cultural and Family Traditions

Edcy M. Lebron, lD# 51248226,Exam#O5O779O1,8533 Quarter Horse Dr, Riverview, Florida 33578, ba bvluvaustin3 @va hoo.com

Title: Culture and Family Traditions

INTRODUCTION

Topic announcement: City Comment [Wul]: This is t@ sene'al.

Background: Cultural and family traditions are difficult to follow today.

Thesis statement: In the modern era there is difficulty in following cultural and family

traditions mostly because of the mixture of races, tribes and ethnicities. The world has

become a global village and this has in one way or another brought about the effect of

not following cultural and family traditions, because the cities of the world are

infiltrated with people from different cultures, societies and families. This has

affected the culture and family traditions since each person tends to be affected by

that of the other.

BODY PARAGRAPHS

Comment [WU2]: FiBt, a ihesis should b€ o6e sentence. Second, you need to clearly state your position and establish the classifi ction/division focus. What is your one arguable/debstable point about this topic? ln addition, you. thesis statement should either show how ideas or obiects may be grouped into catetories {clasifying) or how an idea or object may be spa€ted into part5 (dividint). ln Vour thesis statehent, you need to stress the three areas of your topic you will be writing about. ln each body paragraphs, you will be discussing the

. charaderistics of each.

Comment [tlYU3]: The topi6 should be listed in

Cdnment [Wt 4lr For each body parag.aph vou will be discussing you ned to identiry at leas three l chaEc-teristics of each topic mentioned in the thesis. Because you do not haw a thesis, he information you include heF is informational. Body paragraphs must clearly support the position taken in the thesis statement. However, there is no opinion stated or ideas being argued, This means that the body paragraphs do not support the thesis. They only provide infomation. Once the thesis is reworked, the body paragraphs must support the thesis.

Dubai: Although their people from different cultures residing in Dubai, the original Lrffioo'"0'i"t" ror a sraphic oreanizer; e's'

2. BSBB

inhabitants are known to try as much as possible to keep their Muslim religion which , 3 ccccetc

holds their culture and family traditions.

New York: the city is filled up with people from different races, Latinos, Black

Americans, Europeans, Indians and people from other races. This makes it more

difficult for a person to keep his or her traditions

Good things: Although there would be a culture loss in the process there will also be

good interactions from people ofafar and in the process we can learn from one

another various things.

Edcy M. Lebron, lD# 51248226, Exam# O50L79O1,8533 Quarter Horse Dr, Riverview, Florida 33578, babvl uva usti [email protected]

CONCLUSION

Interactions with people from various cultures is very important, this is because it is

through such interactions that we can become fully civilized by learning ftom each

other. We end up forgetting and putting a close chapter to insignificant cultural values

and expand by accepting new and unique values fiom others which can be ofhelp to

us.

Exam 050179 - Prewriting Narration-Classifrcation and Division

Examnumber: 050179 Examgrade:58%

Comment IWUsI: The corchsion must restate the position t!ken in the thesis .s well .s the three (at least) categories ofthe topic.

Traits of Good Writing Review pages 164-169 in your study guidefor a complete

explanation ofthe raling you earnedfor each trait as well as references you can study to improve your wyiling skills.

skiil Resliz€d

skitr Developing

skill Emrging

Not Shown

Ideas & Content The writer chose one ofthe assigned topics and had at least 3 categories with at least 3 characteristics for each. The writer provided content that could effectively be worked into a classification and division essay.

30 28 26 24 22 l5 0

Organization The writer filled in each of the boxes with a pkase or sentence. There was a complete thesis statement present and the conclusion reworked the thesis.

25 23 22 21 l9 l2 0

Voice The writer appropriately interacts with the assigned audience using consistent point ofview, tone and enough evidence to build into a classification and division essay. Maintains a clear stance on the topic.

l0 9 8 7 6 4 0

Word Choice The writer makes correct verb and word choices, defined any terms that may have been unfamiliar, and conveyed a clear message. Transitional words are present and used correctly.

l0 9 8 7 6 4 0

Grammar & Sentences The writer used correct grammar, spelling, punctuation and sentence structue. Their essay was free of any typographical emors.

l0 9 8 7 6 4 0

Format The student used an appropriate graphic organizer. All ofthe required header information was present.

l5 t4 l3 I2 ll 8 0

Edcy M. Lebron, lD# 51248226, Exam# 05017901, 8533 Quarter Horse Dr, Riverview, Florida 33578, [email protected]

Date of evaluation: 10131/15 Evaluated by: RR

IMPORTAI{T NOTICE Along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam. yor! should see marginal ar "bubble" comments from your instructor. You should also see a series of highlighted numbers in the evaluation chart identifying the rating you earned on each trait. Ifyou don't see this feedback. click on the "View" tab and "Print f,ayout" or click on "Review" and the option "Final Showing Ntarkup," If you still cannot see the feedback. please contact the school for the conrplete evaluation.

REqUIRED RETAKE INSTRUCTIONS

ENGlfl): 050179 "Classification and Division Essay Prewriting'

Student name: Edcy Lebron

Grade:58% Date: 10,/31/15

Dear Edry,

Student number: 52748226

Evaluator: RR

Unfortunately, you earned a failing grade on this first-attempt submission. According to the

Academic Policies in the Penn Foster Student Handbook, you must prepare a retake submission.

Since the goal of this course is to help you improve your writing, you will continue working with your current submission, completely revising and editing it at all levels, Merelv applvine the

instructor's corrections in grammar, spelling. or format does not show sufficient evidence that

vou have imoroved vour skill level and therefore will not result in a change to vour grade.

Review the assigned reading for Lesson 6: chapter 15 and 16 in your textbook and pages 95-108

in your study guide. The following are key revisions you must make to ensure a passing grade

Edcy M. Lebron, lD# 5L248226, Exam# 050t79O1,8533 Quarter Horse Dr, Riverview, Florida 33578, babvl [email protected]

on your retake. lf you do not understand how to rewrite your essay in order to accomplish these goals, please contact the school.

Title and lntroduction: Your graphic organizer should provide a topic announcement, background information and a thesis statement. These statements should move from general to specific as you define your topic down into your claim or argument. Body Paragraphs: You should include at least 3 main points of classification or division for your topic, and each main point needs at least 3 points of development to provide adequate evidence to support your thesis. Conclusion: Your conclusion should reinforce your thesis, and offer new insight or perspective on your topic. Editing and proofreading: read and revise for sentence structure, spelling and typos. Be sure that your introductory and concluding materials are written in complete sentences. The body of your outline does not require complete sentences, as you can see from the example in your study guide (108), but you should also check that the punctuation you have used is correct.

Please include this set of instructions with your retake submission, or there may be a problem

completing your evaluation. For electronic submissions, copy and paste them at the beginning

of your retake document. As part of your file name, include "Retake" after your last name.

Then submit your retake essay for grading.

Best wishes on your retake,

lnstructor

Penn Foster College