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SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 1
CHAPTER 3 – ACCOUNTABILITY
Of all the things we expect of leaders, such as taking charge and setting strategy, being accountable and
holding employees accountable are often problem areas.1 Accountability is a personal choice to rise
above one's circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results—to
“see it, own it, solve it, and do it.” 2 This means continually asking, "What else can I do to be better able
to help customers and how to achieve the results that they and the organization desire?" Being
accountable requires a level of ownership that includes making, keeping, and answering for personal
commitments. It incorporates liability for one’s actions.
In business, accountability is needed on multiple levels. A leader can be
personally accountable, responsible for making employees, peers, and
bosses accountable, and/or responsible for the organization’s
accountability. When accountability lives in an organization on all levels,
the organizational culture has:
• Trust within teams and across departments • People who know that they can depend upon each other • Leaders and workers who know each will keep their word • People who speak up and hold others accountable
Many workers do their best to avoid accountability because it has often
been used as ammunition for blame or punishment. Picture yourself in a
team meeting with a dozen people and the senior leader at the head of
the table.3 The leader says to the group, “I’m holding all of you
accountable for the goals we have established in this meeting.” Now look
around at your peers and see the pressure on their faces. It is there because the minute the leader said
he was going to hold all of you accountable, the tone of the meeting became much more negative than
the constructive strategy meeting that was taking place prior to this statement. There are real reasons
for the worry initiated by the leader’s comment: team members do not have enough time to meet the
goals, they don’t know what they are individually responsible for, they don’t have all the tools, skills, and
authority needed to accomplish the tasks, or they are just plain worried about the “across the board”
accountability. Without prior work laying the foundation for accountability, “holding people
accountable” will always cause stress. The accountability is back-loaded into the business process - it
only shows up when things go wrong and people start to lay blame. And in doing this, the leader is
creating an obstacle for himself -- self-handicapping – in order to protect his image in case things do not
work out.
When leaders delegate tasks, they must delegate responsibility, authority, and accountability.
• Responsibility - An obligation to perform assigned duties to the best of one’s ability • Authority - The power assigned to a leader in order to achieve certain organizational objectives • Accountability - The answerability for performance of the assigned duties – living with the
outcomes
CHAPTER TAKEAWAYS
Differentiate how to be accountable and how to hold others accountable
How to frontload employee accountability
Why you avoid confrontation
Accountability & boundaries
Coping with difficult people
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 2
Most leaders do not do a good job of passing accountability on to the subordinate when delegating. This
could come from a controlling attitude, not knowing how, or expediency in the delegation. This is what
makes accountability such an issue in most organizations.
THE REAL ISSUES
Watch the news and you start to believe that no one is at fault for anything anymore; rather, it is the
result of disease, addiction, chemical imbalance, the other political party, the boss, or the company –
nothing but excuses. But, leaders always have a choice4 to accept accountability or to avoid it – to honor
their commitments or not. Avoiding accountability is a self-handicap that quickly leads down the ERO
Spiral and right into the “Box of Blame.” Not making a choice here is also a choice –a choice to allow
other people or events to make choices for you. When self-assured leaders make the choice for
accountability, you typically don’t see them on the news giving excuses before or after. They know they
have some degree of control and that avoidance is self-handicapping. They choose positive action over
words and excuses. Survivors of extreme difficulties have shown that instead of fighting and arguing
against the new reality, and trying to stop the change, they face what is happening.5 Great leaders take
ownership and get to work on positive solutions – they ask “What?” and “How?”
Use of “I” for successes and “you” or “we” for failures, overpowering at meetings, pretending to know
everything when one doesn’t, blaming others for one’s failures, and reverting back to activities and
behaviors of one’s old job when things get tough are all self-handicaps that fall under “avoiding personal
accountability.” When leaders don’t learn from mistakes, they are avoiding accountability. Leaders
avoiding situations where they anticipate there may be conflict and confrontation, not holding peers
accountable, holding staff accountable reactively rather than proactively, or a leader surrounding
himself with a loyal group of direct-report staff that don’t call him on his bad actions are all avoidance of
accountability. They are self-imposed behavioral handicaps.
Avoiding accountability can be subtle or obvious. For instance, the age of social media has allowed wide
access to colleagues, possible mentors, or just sharing pictures of the weekend barbeque with friends. It
has also created a subtle form of avoiding accountability: “ghosting.” Ghosting is cutting off all
communication with a person. It isn't something you announce; it just happens, and the person being
ghosted is often left with uncertainty and wondering what happened. It's been around since people
have had telephones; but it's now much more common, thanks to texting, Twitter, and other social
media where you don’t have to face someone. The problem is that it is a subtle, but very strong
avoidance of accountability - and lack of common courtesy. It is a form of avoidance of confrontation
that can lead down the ERO Spiral. First ghosting, then avoiding a crucial confrontation dearly needed
for workplace efficiency, and so on into the box of blame. It is happening in business because so many of
us are sending text messages and emails instead of direct interaction. There are peers or employees out
there in hopes of getting a response and never knowing what happened.
Because of this level of subtlety, holding peers and bosses accountable is usually very difficult for most
managers. There are many reasons you may have to approach your boss about accountability: he does
not care about the employees, he doesn’t understand the realities of the marketplace or work, his skills
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 3
are outdated, or he focuses only on himself. In business today, it’s the manager’s job to take charge of
his boss. Don’t wait; ask yourself, “What can I do to help him be more effective?” and “How can I
approach him?” You may have a very open boss or one who needs to think that your conversation is all
his idea. Always have your house in order before you approach your boss about his house. But
approaching a boss about accountability is a real issue for most leaders. It is especially difficult in places
such as health care where the physician controls patient care but is not an employee.
IMPACT
Avoiding accountability can be detrimental to employees and organizations. Many of the new tools
developed in organizations require a collaborative culture: but turf protection dies hard. For example,
while the leadership of an organization may promote quality improvement, middle leaders can sabotage
this intent by continuing to make contrary decisions within their department or division. Power comes
with departmental budget authority, not from cross-functional programs designed to increase collective
accountability for quality improvement.
In the spring of 2010, at a British Petroleum oil lease in the Gulf of Mexico, several subcontractors were
drilling for oil in over a mile of water and 2 ½ miles below the seabed. Deep water drilling was relatively
new and extremely complex. At the Macondo drilling rig,6 various problems had put the job behind
schedule and over budget. Contractors cut corners to maintain schedule and budget. When the well
started to blow out, the managers realized they had a problem, but confusion over authority delayed
assessment of its severity and caused hesitation in initiating attempts to activate the blowout preventer
and disconnect the rig from the mile-long pipe to the seafloor. The subsequent explosion killed 11
people and destroyed the rig. The broken pipe at the seafloor continued spilling oil for several months.
Billions of dollars of damage was caused around the Gulf. A lot of what went wrong involved matters of
judgment and technology; but perhaps the main lesson in this incident is that even with literally billions
of dollars and many lives at stake, accountability at one level to hurry and make budget can seem more
important in the moment, at the site, than the long-term accountabilities of the company – to work
safely, stay out of the news media, produce oil and gas, and to make money for stockholders. The on-
site managers forgot they were playing on a much larger team with much bigger accountabilities then
their own. The managers’ concern about what was good for them at the site hurt BP and its
stockholders dearly.
Even at the personal level, a leader can have significant impact by avoiding accountability. Have you ever
been on a team, where you could have positively contributed to a project, but there was something in
your head that told you not to do it because of a high likelihood of failure? You chose to drag your feet
or keep a low profile because you feared being part of that “group that failed.” Doing nothing may be
safe but it is avoiding accountability. There can also be a reluctance to disclose data because data is
often used to blame and punish rather than to learn new ways of doing things. For example, we know
that many physicians and hospitals object to sharing internal data that can put them in a bad light, hurt
their marketing efforts, or expose them to liability problems. Hotel chains resisted consumer reviews for
years until overwhelmed by social media (and consumers who became savvy about sorting through the
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 4
many reviews). There are also leaders that find pointing fingers and creating crises can be a strategy for
avoiding accountability. But accountability is about transparency – anything less is self-handicapping.
WHAT TO DO
Personal Accountability
When leaders are personally accountable, they take ownership of situations for which they are
responsible or involved in. When things begin to go wrong, they see them through, try new ways of
solving problems, and do not blame others. They accept responsibility for what happens whether it is
good or bad and strive to master the situation. One executive told us that when he was an intern,
significant crises happened about once a year. When he took his first management job that went up to
once a quarter. As a VP, it was once a week; and as a CEO, once a day. His point was that, as a leader,
you have to learn to be calm, accept accountability, look for solutions, and not panic. It is your job. A
leader is at his best when people barely know he exists – when there is no self-handicapping.
It can be difficult to take personal accountability: it requires a leader to be secure within himself, have
courage, and have healthy, respectful relationships with coworkers. It takes time and planning to face
things one doesn’t like –such as confrontation. Our formula for overcoming the ERO Spiral – What and
How questions – is the same formula to keep oneself accountable. Instead of asking “Why me?” or
“Why don’t other people do their jobs right?” one should only ask “What can I do?” or “How can I solve
that?” These questions are the keys to a mastery goal-orientation. Remember that “Why” questions are
about being the victim and passing accountability, “Who” questions are about finding a scapegoat, and
“When” questions are about procrastination. “What” and “How” questions are the questions of a
person accepting accountability. Personal accountability is one of the foundations of great leadership.
Here are our hints for accepting personal accountability:
• Step up and confess as soon as you realize what went wrong or take charge if you are not. • Ask only “What” and “How” questions • Don't skate around the issue or beat around the bush; don't try to shift even a part of the blame
– be persistently driving to solutions. • Don’t play the “if only” game - justifying failures by saying you could turn things around if only x,
y, or z would happen. • Accept the consequences. Take your punishment as courageously as possible, and when it's
done, it's over. If it was extra work to solve a problem, focus on the good things the customer is feeling.
• Learn your lesson; either don’t do it again or change the process to avoid it again. • Recover gracefully. Hold your head up and move on.
Holding Others Accountable
Patrick Lencioni, in his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, says that failing to hold someone
accountable is ultimately an act of selfishness. For most leaders, it is safer to concentrate on work than it
is to call a peer or boss on his or her avoidance of accountability. When a leader confronts a peer on lack
of accountability, he becomes subject to being called out on his behavior (glass houses). Additionally,
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 5
most leaders don’t like to talk about behavior – or anything non-technical. It’s much easier to ignore
situations than talking about the psychology of any situation.
Check out http://work.com/motivate to create a simple, effective, way to acknowledge changes in
tough behavior like accepting accountability. It offers a method for individuals to acknowledge change
and new behavior in others and gives you a method for adding reward for change. DailyFeats has
created a model in which an individual can list the positive actions they make on a daily basis that
aggregates to a daily life score. This score is supposed to be a reflection of the good that we do every
day. The notion of what’s good in this website is defined by you, so you can define it as not avoiding
accountability every day – and keep track on your cell phone. Go to www.dailyfeats.com and start an
account.
Brian Cole has provided these hints for holding employees accountable:7
• Set Expectations - Employees do not automatically know what is expected. Understanding expectations, timelines, and goals up front will eliminate any chance for arguing and blaming later.
• Invite Commitment - Discuss with your employees how these goals will benefit them personally and the organization. Ask them to be committed to a project once they know this information.
• Measure Progress - Measure ongoing performance and gauge whether or not the employee is meeting the goals and expectations to which they had committed.
• Provide Feedback - Employees need continuous feedback about where performance is falling short of expectations. Most of the time, giving objective, behavioral feedback is all it takes.
• Link to Consequences - Administer appropriate consequences to help guide and focus behavior and encourage employees to take their commitments seriously.
• Evaluate Effectiveness - Look at the expectations and goals that were set at the beginning of the project, evaluate how effective they were in creating accountability in the employees.
Great leaders trust employees and allow them to take ownership of their jobs. They believe that
employees are capable and will do the right thing for the organization. On the other hand, employees
who do not trust their leaders will not choose to be accountable.
HOW YOU AVOID ACCOUNTABILITY?
SURVEY: Do I Avoid Accountability or Not? (Y = Yes, N= No, DK = Don’t Know)
____ I shy away from confrontation.
____ Coaching or dealing with poor performance of employees can be a problem for me.
____ I sometimes make excuses or blame others.
____ I often play Devil’s Advocate.
____ I can sometimes present myself poorly – in dress, presentations, or in public, social media.
____ I cover up my weaknesses sometimes.
____ When problems occur I ask “Why” and “Who” right off the bat
____ It is common for me to use “I” for successes rather than “we”
____ My employees might say I overpower at meetings.
____ I have been known to try to know everything and be the “expert”.
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 6
____ My direct reports are all pretty loyal to me.
____ I sometimes have poor time management with subordinates.
____ I have been known to revert to activities and behaviors of your old job.
____ I have inconsistently held people accountable across units or shifts?
____ I don’t like to be learning all the time; it hurts.
____ I don’t think I always do a good job separating responsibility, authority, and accountability for
my staff.
____ My employees don’t think I'm very consistent and treat everyone by the same rules.
SCORES
12-16 Y’s - You are avoiding accountability
6 – 11 - You are inconsistent on accountability (which is the same as not very accountable)
1 – 5 - You are very accountable
What was your degree of fudging on these questions? When not sure, did you round up to yes? This
assessment is only as good as your honesty to yourself.
SO WHY DON’T WE DO THESE THINGS?
Expediency
Sometimes we aren’t accountable because no one has told us how to be, we may need certain tools, or
we simply are unaware of our lack of accountability. Being constantly late to meetings, starting meetings
late, letting things slip through the cracks, telling people what they want to hear instead of, “I can’t get
that done on your timeframe,” and not preparing for tough situations are all forms of expedient
avoidance of accountability – they are self-inflicted due to poor time management or passive
communication techniques. Often the person doing them doesn’t even know he is creating obstacles –
because he gets little feedback. Not doing what you promised – lack of integrity – is the tip of the
iceberg and can be seen by everyone – bosses, employees, and customers. Giving excuses – claimed
self-handicapping – is highly prevalent in avoidance of accountability and is often done unconsciously.
There are a number of great apps out there for people to keep track of work assignments and
commitments - we prefer Asana.8 Regardless, do not let time be your excuse for lack of accountability.
Here are some tips for dealing with the time issue in avoiding accountability:9
• Be clear about what you are responsible for - know your role, responsibilities and the
expectations for your role. The same with your employees.
• Plan your time and do not procrastinate or overcommit - when something falls through cracks,
you let someone down. Acknowledge it, apologize, and fix it.
• Use accountability as a learning tool - when something has not gone according to plan, ask for
feedback, and try to do things differently in the future.
• Watch your self-talk – it is easy to let excuses roll off your tongue a-priori to a task to set up a
reason you are truly not accountable. It is even easier to tell people what they want to hear and
then do what you want to do. This is the start down the ERO Spiral.
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 7
• If you use “If only” in your conversations, remind yourself that “If only” is an excuse to blame
time for your problems.
• If leaders who avoid being accountable get ahead in your organization, and those who take
responsibility are rejected, maybe it is time to find an organization that values accountability.
What do you fail to be accountable because of expediency?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Avoidance
We often do not do the right thing because we do not have the skill to do it. Planning ahead or learning
more about an issue are the easiest ways to begin to be accountable, but we often put this off (reduced
effort) – we avoid the impact of the extra work. If an individual does this enough, he creates obstacles to
leadership. Improve your skills through practice, be prepared and you will be more accountable and
productive. It is common to avoid accountability in confronting others– find the time, get mentored, and
practice the skill. Remember that it takes ball players thousands and thousands of at-bat practices to get
to the “Show.” Don’t think that management skills are any easier to learn.
Healthy/respectful relationships make being accountable much easier: however, this can be a chicken
and egg situation - which comes first? Is accountability required to have a healthy relationship or do
healthy/respectful relationships cause accountability? We think you most likely have to start with
accountability to build the trust required in healthy relationships. But, on the other hand, if you find
yourself in a group of dysfunctional coworkers, you can probably be accountable every day and still not
have healthy relationships. In these situations, you can only do what is in your power - that is, be
honest, open, brave and accountable. Over time, individuals who are drawn to that type of relationship
will gather around you and thus start to form a healthy relationship network. You can choose to avoid
the dysfunctional types - in most cases. The negative, unproductive, and time-consuming folks are not
drawn to the assertive, humble, accountable type.
Many of the things that drive us to avoid accountability are motivational10 – that is, we wish to avoid
failure, making mistakes, and ultimately embarrassment – performance goals. Fear of making errors is
an especially large problem in very technical industries. Avoiding stress and confrontation are common
drivers for avoiding accountability. The non-use of technology by employees may also be viewed as an
avoidance of accountability. When employees shut off or ignore their communication devices, it can be
to finish an important project or it can be to avoid confrontation or stress. Another factor that has to be
acknowledged is that most managers love stimulation and challenge. Since many responsibilities and
accountabilities are not stimulating, managers gravitate away and avoid them.
What issues are you avoiding that are self-handicapping?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Fear
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 8
To talk about individual accountability, we have to talk about self-esteem. Self-esteem is confidence in
one's own worth or abilities; it is self-respect. We humans are unique because we have the capacity to
define who we are and then decide if we like ourselves or not. The problem is this judgment. When one
doesn’t like himself, it is more difficult to meet people, interview for a job, push hard for something he
believes in, be assertive, hear criticism, be certain of his abilities, and be accountable. To avoid too much
judgment and particularly self-rejection, we erect defense barriers - blame others, bury ourselves in our
work, and make excuses leading down the ERO Spiral. This is all self-handicapping; those with higher
self-esteem spend less time avoiding accountability.
A habit of avoiding accountability can develop as a slow, relentless accumulation of thoughts about your
faults and a message that those faults are permanent; in short, "I am not good" and "I'll never be good
enough." Then it does not matter how well you perform; you discount it, and may even view yourself as
a fraud when things go well. This is knee-jerk, automatic self-handicapping to avoid accountability. If you
often believe you are responsible when you are not, practice perfectionism, or are highly critical of
yourself - start challenging those thoughts.
Also, get over the idea that making mistakes is a bad thing. Aren’t we all supposed to be building
learning organizations? Even if bosses want to hold you accountable after the fact and the organization
is on the dysfunctional side, you can be accountable to yourself and your employees. Being accountable
to our word, acknowledging mistakes, and then working to make things right will cause people to
respect you.
Steps for being secure within yourself are:
• Stop telling yourself avoiding accountability doesn’t matter – It does! • Take a positive approach – instead of feeling guilty about avoiding accountability, reward
yourself for planning ahead and being more accountable – Baby Steps. • Plan things out – Action planning. • Announce ownership publicly of things to be done and then do them – Mastery orientation.
Self-efficacy – believing that you have the power to do something - comes from successive successes.
Plan, learn, slow up, and take accountability in small doses; you will get better at it and have more
confidence in yourself. It will grow on you and you might magically become very humble. Self-efficacy
and self-esteem reduce self-handicapping. When you are confident, your peers, subordinates, and
bosses will come to believe that you can do what you say you will do. You will also. Lots of good things
come to those who are accountable for their own actions.
Now let’s talk about courage.11 It takes courage to be accountable because you have to claim your part
in whatever was said or done. When confronted, it is a natural tendency to want to duck the truth. The
moral courage to stand up and accept what happened can be difficult because sometimes you own
something when those around you may be hiding. But, courage is the essence of leadership; you must
find it in yourself and demand it from your employees. Being courageous means doing something
despite fear.12 Exposing yourself to things that you fear (in small doses - just like inoculation) can help
the brain become desensitized to the hormones causing fear and make it easier for you to face issues.
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 9
First responders all practice and train for the experiences they have to face. You can do the same.
Gaining knowledge (think not reducing effort) also helps build your confidence.
Don't hesitate - the longer your brain comes up with excuses, the harder facing the fear becomes. Learn
from the results of that first attempt and do not become discouraged. Feel free to talk to someone –
that is why we emphasize networking and having a mentor/coach. Talking can help you to articulate
where your fear is originating and to plan your response. Start small and pay attention to your limits.
Don't let failures dictate who you are – it means that you are trying and have more to learn. We suggest
Osho’s, Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously.13
How is fear driving you to self-handicap your accountability?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Self-Deception How many times have you heard someone who said something mean or hurtful, rather than accept
accountability?14 Or they justify bad behavior by saying you had 'made' him mad? Those are examples
of using blame to excuse one’s own bad behavior. It is denial of one’s own responsibility to be
accountable and is a sign one is far down the ERO Spiral of self-handicapping. Instead of taking
responsibility for his action, the blamer begins to find reasons why he should be excused from the
repercussions of it -- repercussions that he doesn't believe he 'deserved.’ Blaming others for one’s
actions is a slippery slope and makes avoidance of accountability difficult to self-recognize.
Knowing a little about why you are thinking the way you are can help you avoid knee-jerk reactions
when confronted with failure. This is especially true when your thoughts are based on dire predictions,
doubt in your coping skills, continual focus on negative events, negative explanations of others'
behavior, or rigid rules about how people should behave. Take deliberate action – step back and think
about how your thinking may be driving your reactions. Talk back to this in your head. Ask for feedback
from others – and listen. We know this isn’t easy, but instead of accepting blame and viewing these
thoughts as absolute truths, see them as mental events to observe and evaluate.15 Your thinking drives
your actions. Be willing to challenge knee-jerk thoughts and replace them.
Can you pinpoint any self-deception about your accountability?
____________________________________________________________________________________
BEHAVIORS TO CHANGE
Avoiding Conflict and Confrontation
Recognize. Almost all managers have avoided confronting employees/peers who are doing bad things -
sometimes because they do not have the time to deal with the repercussions of confronting. Some
employees say the inevitable, “It wasn’t me!” which means a long, hard conversation ahead. Some
employees may accuse others of being the problem. Peers will do the same. These individuals require
even more time and effort to confront because of their denial. Some might say, “Okay, I will not do it
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 10
again,” and then next week do it again. Even those who say, “I’m sorry; please show me how to do it
better,” require more work on the manager’s part. Sometimes it is just easier to let it slide. But, what
happens? The manager gets mad when it is not fixed and angrier over time. Then he blows up and the
situation gets worse. It would have been ideal to address and correct the problem when first seen –
even if it took a few extra minutes. Many of us have a healthy fear of confrontation – for some it is a
cultural thing. Regardless of why, avoiding employee/peer accountability is very self-handicapping if you
are a leader.
Admit. Confrontation is part of management. You will have to accept the avoidance or fear in these
situations and take action. Examine your expectations of bad outcomes – what you fear out of an
encounter - and ask what you can do to avoid them – develop coping responses (this is a high risk
situation). The answer is to spend a few minutes and plan for the encounter. How should it be
approached? What will motivate the person to be confronted? What does he want out of the situation?
Adjust. The center for Conflict Dynamics has built what it calls active constructive responses to help stop
avoiding conflict and confrontation. They are:16
• Reaching Out – restarting communications and asking if the other party would be willing to work through an issue.
• Perspective Taking - putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and trying to understand where that other person is coming from and their thoughts.
• Expressing Emotions and Creating Solutions - where you collaborate with the other party to try and find a solution. This final step helps turn an adversarial relationship into one of mutual problem-solving.
We also suggest you read the Crucial Conversations/Confrontation books by Patterson & Grenny
(McGraw-Hill).
Healthy responses to conflict are characterized by:17
• The capacity to recognize and respond to important matters • The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing • A belief that resolution can support the interests and needs of both parties • A readiness to forgive and forget
Key Behaviors. Here are Key Behaviors for conflict resolution:18
1. Diagnose the issue and person - and choose your battles.
2. Reach out and ask the person to sit down and talk.
3. Have the discussion in a private area, if possible. Take some time to cool down if needed.
4. Give the other person time to vent. Watch your body language.
5. If you or the other person is getting upset, figure out why. Then manage yourself to stay calm
and remain professional. Reschedule the meeting if needed.
6. Verify that you are accurately hearing each other. Use active listening if needed.
7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree.
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 11
8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person. Look for the "win-
win" scenario.
9. Thank the person for working with you.
10. Keep the conflict between you and the other person.
11. Don't hold a grudge when it's all over.
External Locus of Control
Recognize. Blaming others and playing the victim is avoiding accountability. Locus of control refers to
the extent to which individuals believe they can control events affecting them. People with an internal
locus of control believe that they have control of their lives; those with an external locus of control
believe that events and circumstances control them.19 When a student says, “I earned an A,” it is
internal; when one says, “Dr. Mitchell gave me an A,” it is an external locus of control. Those with an
external locus of control self-handicap more than internals.
Admit. In situations where you are having a hard time and feel like a a victim, it is likely that you have an
external locus of control. No one wants to own up to this state of affairs; so remember, one can develop
or learn a sense of internal locus of control. You always have a choice to allow other people or events to
run your life – or not. You choose to be accountable by not offering excuses and putting the effort in to
do it.
Adjust. These behaviors are typically learned over a long period of time in relation to certain
circumstances. Determine the circumstances and what you naturally do. Then plan deliberate action.
Tools to develop an internal locus of control are:20
• Develop and work towards a personal vision (Chap 4- Self Awareness). • Set goals for yourself (personal and professional). • Determine what pieces you might be able to influence today. • When you feel trapped, make a list of all possible courses of action. Just brainstorm and write
things down without evaluating them first. • Stay positive in your self-talk, avoid, “I have no choice”, or “There’s nothing I can do.” • Ask only “What” and “How” questions • Assess your decision-making and problem solving skills (Chapter 7 - Analysis). Then strengthen
your problem solving skills. As you do so, you will gain the confidence and the belief that you can tackle whatever challenges come your way.
Key Behaviors. Here are Key Behaviors to follow when faced with a problem and you feel like a victim:
1. Say to yourself, “Phil, solve this on your own,” over and over.
2. Get an accurate understanding of the problem. Get as much info about what’s happening as you can.
3. Make a list of all possible courses of action.
4. Ask yourself, “What do I want?” or “What is my desired outcome?”
5. Ask yourself, “How can I do that?” or “How can I get that done?”
6. Take action. Pick a solution.
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7. Develop a list of baby steps and carry it out.
8. List the effects of your action. What worked?
9. Modify your efforts with what you learned.
10. Write down your feelings about having succeeded. Personal Accountability and Boundaries Recognize. There is more discussion on boundaries later in Chapter 10 – Micro-Managing, but let’s start
the discussion here. A boundary is where you end and where another person begins. When we talk
about needing space, setting limits, or determining acceptable behavior, we are talking about
boundaries. Exploitation of a customer by a professional, or an employee by a leader, and expecting
another person to be an extension of yourself are clear violations of boundaries. Often, those who have
a poor sense of boundaries do not know that they do.
Interpersonal boundaries are where many violations occur. Interpersonal boundary parameters include:
• The tone people use with each other. • The attitude and approach co-workers use with each other. • How personal conflict is managed. • The ability to effectively set limits with others who have poor boundaries. • Clearly defining the consequences when a boundary is violated and sticking to them.
Professional boundaries21 include: who reports to whom, who gives you assignments and feedback, who
sets priorities, how information is used, and how people are treated. An effective leader understands
that failing to define these boundaries or having no boundaries can have an unfavorable impact on their
team. Often leaders revert to activities and behaviors of their old job or some equivalent comfort
zone. They tend to jump into technical topics and minutiae to escape the uncomfortable responsibilities
of leadership – this is self-handicapping in professional boundaries.
Take, for instance, John, who he is a senior leader of IT and was having a very hard time reconciling his
yearly budget without resorting to laying off one or two employees. In order to avoid having to make
the tough decision, John starts getting involved in projects to see where improvements can be made to
speed up schedules and improve project budgets. He’s comfortable doing this because he used to be a
project leader; however, it is not his job to mettle at the project level. It is his job to develop a budget
for the overall division and he must face all the decisions – even layoffs - that go with that. John is
avoiding his leadership accountability by reverting back to his project manager role.
Admit. Avoiding accountability in an organization inevitably leads to violation of someone else’s
boundaries. What you avoid, someone else has to do. There are two sides of this coin: Do not violate
others boundaries by avoiding accountability and do not allow others to violate your boundaries. It is
the job of the leader to make sure that he is consistent and helps establish boundaries for workers and
customers. It is also the job of the leader to hold employees and peers accountable for their boundaries
in work.
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Regardless of the urges of the moment, it is also important to not violate or avoid accountability for
customer relations. Customers are like anyone else; once trust is violated it comes back very slowly (if at
all). Violating customer trust is avoiding your accountability to the organization that pays you. The rules
here are:22
• Do not seek out a personal relationship with your clients • Do not have a sexual relationship with clients • Do not introduce clients to your own family. Work and home should be kept separate. • Do not supply or use alcohol or smoke in front of clients. • Don’t arrive late and leave early. Clients notice. • Do not ask for money, gifts, or special favors from your clients – and visa versa. • Do not give advice outside of your skills and expertise • Do not discuss information about your clients or with clients. • Do not criticize, complain about or discuss issues relating to your staff, or your employer, with
clients.
Adjust. It is the inability or unwillingness to call others on their violations of professional and
interpersonal boundaries at work that allows avoidance of accountability on both sides of the coin.
Remember: good leaders face their fears, respect boundaries, are accountable themselves, and hold
peers and subordinates accountable. They watch what they do and try not to inappropriately cross
others boundaries. They ask rather than demand.
Key Behaviors. Key Behaviors for confronting others on boundary violations are:23
1. Think about and consciously set your boundaries. Write this down is necessary. 2. Once a boundary has been set, let others know what it is. If a co-worker says he will call you in
the evening, you can simply say, “Please don’t call me after 8 pm.” 3. When boundaries have been violated, address the issues as soon as possible in a controlled and
positive manner. 4. Respectfully and tactfully tell people what the boundary was and what they did. 5. Do not defend the boundary. Do not beat around the bush or expect things to happen without
your request. 6. Say what affect their behavior had on you, and request they do not do it again. 7. Clearly ask for what you need or want - over and over if needed. 8. Involve your supervisor when boundary violations continue to occur.
Holding Peers or Bosses Accountable
Recognize. Have you ever been part of a team that you knew had an accountability problem? What
characteristics of the team set off the alarm? Were some members of the group just there to check off
the box, collect a paycheck, and go home? In an effort to not be confrontational, did some avoid asking
difficult questions? Did any of the team members exhibit poor behavior, and the other members not call
his attention to it? Avoidance of accountability is often one of the major dysfunctions in teams.
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While it may be hard to confront your direct reports about accountability, it is even more difficult to
confront your peers and bosses – especially in a team. Patrick Lencioni24 suggests several things to
improve your ability to hold a team or a boss accountable:
1. Publish commitments, goals, and expectations. Clearly document performance expectations, roles, and responsibilities in meeting minutes.
2. Hold simple and regular progress reviews. The published commitments, goals, and expectations will be effective if team members refer back to them to check on individual commitments. Use this peer pressure to ensure accountable behavior.
3. Improve your ability to effectively, yet respectively, work at the individual level and “call people out” – especially on self-handicapping.
Always remember that relationships with bosses and peers can be improved and your avoidance of
trying to do so helps no one – it is a self-handicap. Building effective relationships always demands a
considerable investment on your part. Acknowledge that total success is not possible; but incremental
success is. Dealing with a boss’s problems is a process, not an occasion. Admit. When team members become willing to tolerate avoidance of accountability, it is the leader’s
responsibility to call this out as well as train the team to stop it. If the leader is avoiding accountability, it
is the team members who must step up and approach the boss about it. The more a team is prepared to
tolerate the interpersonal discomfort that accompanies calling someone out on his or her behavior, the
accountability problems in the team lessen. Lencioni says that members of great teams overcome the
natural inclination to hold back on this. Remember, one of the most powerful self-handicapping
emotions in business is the unwillingness to be embarrassed. If this one area can be improved in a
department or organization, you will see massive strides in efficiency, productivity, and the satisfaction
of everyone involved.
Adjust. We have all been in situations where the behavior of a peer or boss has disrupted or delayed the
progress of the group.25 Problem behavior can be caused by transient or sporadic issues such as bad
news, lack of sleep, stress at home, or other circumstances. The more serious type of problem behavior
comes from people who are difficult all the time – those overpowering at meetings, knowing everything
or being the “expert”, blaming others, never owning anything, etc. But, unless you confront it, you
enable it. We highly recommend Patrick Lencioni’s books, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership
Fable26 or Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, Leaders, and
Facilitators for more in depth reading about accountability in teams.
Sometimes, team members have learned that being difficult handicaps others, who then accept their
behavior. Robert Bramson, in Coping with Difficult People,27 suggests there are seven types of difficult
people and describes in detail how to cope with each. These types are described in the table below and
ways to cope with their disruptions are discussed in the following paragraph. This table has columns for
you to match the names of coworkers to the problem types and design a strategy for dealing with them.
Make sure to place your name where appropriate.
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Names of Your Coworkers
Inappropriate Meeting Behavior and Coping Style
What will you do to counter this behavior
Hostile/Aggressives are abusive, abrupt, and intimidating. They are bullies. They believe their "victims" are weak. There are three subtypes in this group:
Sherman Tanks need to be right and will plow over people to prove a point. Victims are overwhelmed – they aren’t able to get a word in. They will attack your idea and you personally.
Snipers maintain cover and take cheap shots at their victims: innuendos, digs, and nonplayful teasing. They do this in public, where the victim is less likely to confront.
Exploders throw temper tantrums. When met with any degree of resistance, the normal conversation will escalate into fury.
Complainers find fault with everything. They have a disguised message behind all their complaints that YOU should do something about them.
Clams become unresponsive at times where you need an answer. When faced with a difficult situation, they clam up.
Super-Agreeables are always pleasant and supportive of your ideas and projects. They leave you thinking that they are in agreement with you, only to let you down later.
Negativists are usually capable but feel very strongly that unless a project is in their hands, it will fail. They will say things like, “It’s no use in trying,” or “That wont work.” When confronted, they reply with, “Nothing will work.”
Know-It-Alls believe they are superior to others. The ideas of others are inferior to their wisdom. There are two types of Know-It-Alls:
Bulldozers are very productive people, but are very forceful with their opinions to the resentment of coworkers. If things go wrong, they blame others.
Balloons are phonies. They seek approval and respect of others by acting like experts. Often, they speak beyond their knowledgebase without realizing it.
Indecisives postpone decisions that may hurt others. As time progresses, the decision becomes obsolete – thus reinforcing indecisive behavior.
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Ramblers talk too much. They are sometimes either misinformed or don't understand the topic and sometimes the tell stories from the “glory days.”
When dealing with:
• Sherman Tanks - stand up for yourself. Give them time to run down, but you may have to interrupt to get into the conversation. Sitting down will take some aggression out of them. Speak from your own point of view: “I disagree with you…” They will not strike out at you as readily if you sit next to them.
• Snipers - force them out into the open. Ask questions like, "What did you mean by that?" Give them an alternative with a direct question – usually the sniper will deny the attack, but will then realize that you identified it, thus making a repeat snipe less likely.
• Exploders – give the exploder time to run down. If there are no signs of a slowdown, loudly say, “Stop!” and follow up with “I want to discuss this important matter with you, but not like this.”
• Complainers – acknowledge but don’t agree with the complainer. Be prepared to interrupt with limiting responses (avoiding ‘always’ and ‘never’. Finally state facts without apology and invite the complainer to solve the real problem (if there is one).
• Clams - get them to talk. Ask open-ended questions; use a friendly, silent stare. Don’t fill the empty space – give the clam time to come out. If needed, narrate what is going on to prompt a response.
• Super-Agreeables - make them feel safe enough to disagree with you. Confront them if they make an unrealistic commitment.
• Negativists – Avoid getting drawn into their negative thinking. Don’t argue with them, but do state your realistic optimism. Create a “worst case scenario,” this may take some wind out of the negativist’s sails.
• Bulldozers - Try to get Bulldozers to consider alternatives without directly challenging their expertise. Prepare for the conversation – understand all the facts. Listen carefully and acknowledge that you understand what the “expert” is saying. Question without confrontation.
• Balloons - state the correct facts as explicitly as possible and provide an escape route for the Balloon. Give them a way out – without embarrassment.
• Indecisives - make it easy for them to tell you the issue why they are stalling. Once the problems have surfaced, help them solve it; if the problem is you, acknowledge it and move on.
• Ramblers - Ramblers have to be gently brought back on track. Wait for a good pause in their ramble, and assertively interrupt to come back to the main issue.
Remember, this behavior comes from insecurity (the uncertainty which leads to self-handicapping
behavior) and they will usually back down when confronted assertively by a peer or superior on their
behavior. You have to have the courage to do it and ask the team to make a team commitment to do it.
Key Behaviors. The Key Behaviors for confronting difficult peers for their avoidance of accountability
are:
1. Prepare before the encounter. Do not deny or ignore the problem. Develop a plan on how to deal with the situation.
2. If you have support persons, warn them that you may confront the individual.
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3. Stand or sit directly in front of the person and give him/her direct eye contact. 4. Express genuine concern for the person. You are educating them, not punishing. Assume
that the other person's intentions are good even if his or her actions are problematic. 5. Identify the specific conduct that is objectionable. Be very specific; express yourself clearly
and directly. Express what emotions you feel or sense that others feel. 6. Ask that they cease the objectionable behavior. Speak tactfully, in a way you would like to
be spoken to and be constructive. Confront gently. 7. State that this behavior is counterproductive to the mission. You can conclude with what
would be a good next step for the person you're confronting. 8. Own your own message; don’t apologize for your feelings or the organizational needs. 9. Avoid evaluating and interpreting the person (e.g., identifying him as “controlling” or “a
complainer.” Do not use the labels above. 10. Thank the person for never doing the objectionable behavior again. 11. Repeat as necessary. 12. Think about the benefits of speaking up vs. being a “Clam” on others’ lack of accountability.
Leaders at successive levels have different but important skills that play key roles in any organization.
Carefully examine your thoughts and feelings about this with respect to your boss. Understand how
your boss is thinking before you approach him about accountability. Always have data and let the data
speak for itself. Do not explain the data in a defensive manner, but rather use it as a tool. Understand
that your boss deals with an array of matters and may need to vent too. Assertiveness, a firm and
positive respect, and an ability to empathize with your boss will most often lead to successful
relationships and getting him to look at his accountability. Honesty is the best policy; be open and
transparent. And always close the loop. Be sure to follow up in order to assure the boss that you have
not disregarded the situation.
Key Behaviors. The Key Behaviors for confronting bosses for their avoidance of accountability are:
1. Consider yourself and the boss equal partners of a team working toward a mission. 2. Do not deny or ignore the problem. Develop a plan on how to approach your boss – understand
his personality and how he will react. 3. Collect and provide data from a reliable source concerning the issue. 4. Identify the specific conduct that is objectionable. Be very specific; express yourself clearly and
directly. 5. State that this behavior is counterproductive to the mission - using the hints for each personality
type shown above. 6. Listen and be considerate of his needs and/or desires. Reflect confidence and be assertive. 7. Ask what you can do to help the boss be accountable in this situation. Be honest and
transparent without disclosing unnecessary information. 8. Ask what he will do to resolve the situation. 9. Be responsive and follow-up
Front-Loading Accountability
Recognize. Let’s start with how to delegate. Remember that to be effective in delegating tasks, you must
delegate responsibility, authority, and accountability – especially proactive accountability.
Accountability is difficult for many of us; we never let the individual get to the point where they alone
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must live with the outcome of their actions. If we see them moving towards a mistake, we jump in and
take over to avoid a failure that may be tagged to us. We also do this to our children, and then wonder
why they grow up unaccountable and unable to make decisions for themselves. Let us be clear: the
fastest way to a non-accountable workforce is to never let them have accountability. We often fail to
make employees own their outcomes and we don’t use the language of accountability correctly. Finally
we don’t “frontload” the accountability (proactive accountability) that we give to employees, rather we
“backload” it and use it as a tool to assign blame.
Admit. It is important to establish in your organization a precise language of accountability.28 Henry
Evans, the author of Winning with Accountability, says that some of the biggest offenders in language
are: “soon,” “ASAP,” “right away,” “I’ll get right on it,” “try,” “should,” “best,” “we,” and “by the next
time we meet.” Do not tolerate terms like this in team meetings; instead, create clear expectations with
precise language. One of the main reasons people do not live up to others’ expectations is because they
don’t know precisely what they are expected to accomplish. They mentally see a different result than
the person making the request. Evans says there is no “I” in teams and there is no “team” in ownership.
We believe that accountability should be made public. Evans says that, “Accountability is born when two
or more people know about a commitment.” This is the approach used in Alcoholics Anonymous and
other self-help groups. When you make commitments public, you are more likely to accomplish them.
Increasing accountability this way may be at the heart of employee empowerment and engagement.
Research shows how leadership in times of heightened accountability affects the outcomes for
employees.29 With increased accountability, environments with abusive leaders experienced
significantly more negative impacts on job satisfaction, tension, and burnout. In work environments
where supervisors were not abusive, increased accountability actually lead to better outcomes. So,
whether supervisors jump in and take over or ridicule their subordinates, the bottom line is that
leadership has to be supportive in an environment with increasing accountability. Therefore, there is a
need for proactive accountability.
Adjust. We must provide clear expectations about what is expected and measurement tools to
determine outcome accomplishment. Employees must trust and believe that there is a fair and accurate
process for keeping track of their actions and tying their personal outcomes to real consequences in the
organization.
In order to engage employees in accepting accountability, leaders need to start by setting SMART goals-
specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, and time-bound in delegation. As we all know, it is
hard to remember to capture all these elements when delegating in busy leadership positions. But, it is
important that both parties know all the specifics upfront so they know where responsibility and
accountability lie. Due to competing projects and a lack of prioritization, employees often struggle to
know which is more important and where to focus their time and efforts effectively. It’s up to leaders to
help employees figure this out. Leaders also should monitor progress towards these goals and use
coaching to correct the trajectory if needed.
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Key Behaviors. The Key Behaviors for frontloading accountability are:
1. Develop SMART goals and write them down (See Baby Steps below). 2. Define your performance expectations behaviorally and tell the employee. 3. Identify possible barriers for success and write those down. 4. Develop solutions to these barriers to be done by either or both of you – specify responsibilities 5. Set a follow up plan. 6. Recognize individuals performing to expectations. 7. Adjust performance of individuals failing to meet expectations (coaching).
The last two items above must be done on a daily basis to ensure accountability of employees:
recognizing accountable individuals and adjusting when avoidance of accountability occurs. Below, we
provide some guidance on doing both of those activities. These specific key behaviors can get you
through difficult one-on-one employee interactions.
Key Behaviors. When recognizing individuals who have been accountable in their work, follow these Key
Behaviors:30
1. Give feedback directly, NOT through messengers/messages. Make it timely. 2. Stand or sit directly in front of the person and give him/her direct eye contact. 3. State clearly what the employee did that deserves recognition. 4. Express your personal satisfaction with the employee and his or her performance. Be direct and
sincere. Get to the point – mean what you say and say what you mean. 5. Explain why it is important to continue in this manner. 6. (Optional) Ask what you can do to help him or her continue the good performance.
Key Behaviors. When employees have avoided accountability and adjustment is needed, we provide the
following Key Behaviors:31
1. Diagnose the situation. Is accountability the issue? 2. State your concern that accountability is lacking. Say why. 3. Listen to their reasoning (and for any obstacles/barriers.) 4. Ask, “What can they do to accept or reaccept accountability?” 5. Ask, “What can I do to help?” (in removal of barriers) 6. Agree by developing a plan to remove any barriers 7. Ask yourself who has the accountability at this point (you or the employee). If you, rebuild their
ownership. 8. Monitor progress – repeat if necessary
FINAL PERSONAL TAKEAWAYS
Action Plan - Accepting Personal Accountability
So what will you do about your personal accountability? Be honest and complete this action plan:
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Personal Accountability Self-Handicap
What is the Situation
Trigger Impact on Others What to Do/When
Lack Of What/How Question Asking
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Playing “Devil’s Advocate” Constantly, Saying Things Won’t Work
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Don’t want to accept the consequences – hurts too much
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Making Excuses, Blaming Others, Being a Victim
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Avoiding conflict and confrontation
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
My locus of control ___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Poor Presentation of Self – Dress & Speech In Presentations, Social Media.
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Ashamed to admit mistakes
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Rather just hide or do my old job
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
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Action Plan - Holding Others Accountable
What will you do about holding others accountable? Be honest and complete this table.
Holding Others Accountable Self-Handicap
What is the Situation
Trigger Impact of It What to Do/When
Delegating responsibility, authority, and accountability to employees
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Using Accountability with Staff Reactively Rather Than Proactively
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Using the correct “Language of Accountability”
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Recognizing employees who have been accountable to the organization, clients/customers, coworkers, etc.
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Coaching those employees who have avoided accountability
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Not Holding Peers Accountable
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
Not Holding Boss Accountable
___Expedient ___Avoiding ___Fear ___Self-Deception
___Deliberate Action_________ ___Self-efficacy______________ ___Face it __________________ ___Look & Listen_____________
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BABY STEPS In every chapter, we provide a list of baby steps – the things to do tomorrow or this week that can be a
foundation for everything else to come behind them. Sometimes we don’t even take the first step
because it all seems so overwhelming and intimidating. Don’t give up before you even start – success in
baby steps reinforces success in subsequent larger steps and builds self-efficacy.
The baby steps for this chapter are:
• Arrive to your next meeting early and start it precisely on time • Announce ownership of one thing publicly to employees or peers and do it - all in one day • Step up and confess as soon as you realize something you did went wrong. Say you are sorry
out loud. And ask only What/How to solve it. • Develop and write down a smart goal – specifying each element - for an employee before
delegation occurs.
Here are the Key Behaviors for announcing ownership/accountability:
1. Chose an issue you are responsible for that you can define as a smart goal. 2. Choose a public forum – team meeting, etc. – to announce your ownership of the issue. 3. Define the goal specifically. 4. State that you will be accountable to get it down by ___date and ____ time. 5. Specify the concrete criteria used to determine whether you have attained of the goal
Here are the Key Behaviors for SMART goals.32 SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, and time bound.
1. To set a specific goal you must answer Who, What, Where, When, Why, and Which tools or constraints are involved.
2. Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress and ultimately the attainment of the goal - ask how much or how many and determine a measuring tool.
3. Determine that the goal is not too easy or not achievable. Neither is motivating. Ask the employee if they can get it down on time, in budget.
4. Discuss with the employee the outcome of the goal - make sure it is a goal related to the mission or a customer. It must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work.
5. Anchor the end result outcome within a timeframe, set a date and time for completion.
6. Ask the employee if he heeds any other information to own and accomplish what is delegated.
Follow Up Quetions
1. How does your personal avidance of accountability affect your holding others accountable?
2. What more do you need to learn about boundaries and accountability? 3. How must you prepare to confront your boss on accountability issues?
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4. Which peers have you avoided confronting on avoidance of accountability? Why? How will
you prepare to do it?
END NOTES
1. Adapted from https://hbr.org/2012/11/one-out-of-every-two-managers-is-terrible-at- accountability/downloaded 2-9-15 2. Adapted taken from: https://www.asme.org/career-education/articles/management-professional- practice/how-to-create-a-culture-of-accountability and http://epubs.democratprinting.com/article/Sustainable_Safety_Excellence/1159273/124103/article.ht ml , downloaded 12-20-2013. 3. Adapted from Evans, HJ. Winning with Accountability: The Secret Language of High-Performing Organizations. CornerStone Leadership Institute, 2008. 4. Adapted from http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_90.htm 5. Adapted from http://www.artofmanliness.com/2010/02/16/building-your-resiliency-part-iii-taking- control-of-your-life/ downloaded 10-21-14. 6. http://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.1001049 downloaded 10-21-14. 7. Summarized from http://www.communicoltd.com/pages/338_holding_others_accountable_is_simple.cfm downloaded 10-21-14. 8. See https://asana.com/start 9. Adapted from http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/developing-personal-accountability.htm downloaded 12-20-2013. 10. Adapted from http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/19/how-to-own-up-to-mistakes/ downloaded 12-21-2013. 11. Adapted from http://www.hilltoptimes.com/content/success-through-accountability-courage-and- teamwork downloaded 12-20-2013. 12. Summarized from www.wikihow.com/Have-Courage 13. Osho (1999), Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously, St. Martin's Griffin, ISBN-13: 978-0312205171 14. Adapted from http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/blameBadBehavior.htm) downloaded 12- 21-2013 15. Taken from http://www.bhevolution.org/public/overcoming_shame_based_thinking.page, downloaded 12-21-2013. 16. Adapted from: http://www.conflictdynamics.org/blog/2012/04/the-trouble-with-avoiding-conflict/0 downloaded 12-20-2013. 17. Adapted from http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf downloaded 12-20-2013 18. Adapted from http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf and http://managementhelp.org/interpersonal/conflict.htm and http://voices.yahoo.com/how-deal- workplace-tension-conflict-in-1730043.html downloaded 12-20-2013 19. Adapted from http://www.trpnet.com/locus-of-control/ and http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_90.htm and http://www.goal-setting- motivation.com/tag/external-locus-of-control/ downloaded 12-21-2013 20. Ibid. See Note 19 21. Adapted from http://ucsfhr.ucsf.edu/index.php/assist/article/setting-healthy-workplace- boundaries/ downloaded 12-21-2013.
SELF-HANDICAPPING LEADERSHIP: The Behaviors Holding Back Employees, Managers, and Companies, and How To Overcome Them
Copyright Phillip J Decker and Jordan Mitchell, 2015. All rights reserved. 24
22. Adapted from http://www.health.qld.gov.au/abios/behaviour/professional/boundaries_pro.pdf downloaded 12-21-2013 and https://professionalboundaries.com/faq.php downloaded 1-29-15. 23. Adapted from http://vhsp.dphhs.mt.gov/sltc/services/communityservices/ProfessionalBoundariesInTheWorkplace.pdf downloaded 12-21-2013. 24. Patrick Lencioni (2002), The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Jossey-Bass, ISBN 0-7879-6075-6 25. Adapted from Carol Stewart-Kirkby, Coping with Problem Behavior, Ontario Ministry of Agriculture and Food, http://www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/rural/facts/96-003.htm#, downloaded 12-21-2013. 26. Ibid. See Note 24 27. Bramson, Robert M. Coping with Difficult People. Anchor Press/Doubleday, Garden City, New York, 1981. 28. Adapted from Evans, H J. Winning with Accountability: The Secret Language of High-Performing Organizations. CornerStone Leadership Institute, 2008. 29. Craig Dowden, http://www.hrvoice.org/increasing-employee-accountability-the-critical-role-of- leadership/ downloaded 12-20-2013 30. Adapted from Decker. P, Supervision. 1982 31. Adapted from: http://proactsafety.com/articles/accountability-positive-and-proactive-or-negative- and-reactive downloaded 1-13-14 32. Adapted from: http://topachievement.com/smart.html downloaded 10-21-14.
