Running Head: PERSUASIVE ESSAY 1
PERSUASIVE ESSAY 5
Persuasive Essay
Erika Honcharik
Rasmussen College
Author Note:
This assignment is being submitted on August 23,2015 fo Carly Hearns Into to critical thinking course.
"Freedom of speech is one thing, but when it is damaging to society something can and should be done."
Freedom of speech is defined as the right to communicate one’s ideas and opinions without fear of retaliation or censorship from the government. The term freedom of speech is used interchangeably with the term freedom of expression, which includes any act of receiving, seeking, and imparting ideas or information irrespective of the medium used. Freedom of speech is protected under the American Constitution in the First Amendment on the Bill of Rights section. Comment by Carly Hearn: Be sure to ethically cite any borrowed information or it could be submitted for review for plagiarism. Comment by Carly Hearn: Is this all taken word for word? The paper needs a clear introduction in your words with an attention catcher, framing sentences for the topic a clear thesis and overview of the main points to come in the paper.
The above claim does not hold any waters because “doing something” means denying the citizens the freedom of speech that has already been granted by the constitution. Freedom of speech underpins other rights and sanctions them to flourish. The right to speak our minds freely on vital issues affecting our society plays a significant role in the healthy development of any society. Denying people this right irrespective of the circumstances affects the already marginalized groups in the society. The marginalized groups include LGBT people and the disabled among other groups in the society. What can be interpreted as damaging by allowing freedom of speech can only be corrected by the response that uphold freedom of speech. Comment by Carly Hearn: Which claim? The first paragraph or the statement in the title. Be sure you are making claims clear to the audience. Comment by Carly Hearn: What do you mean by this? Comment by Carly Hearn: The paper should be in third person voice with no I or we statements. Comment by Carly Hearn: There seem to be two different topics going on here. Stick to one clear claim and follow with related supporting evidence. Again if anything is borrowed information from another source it needs citation or it will be submitted for review.
During the struggle for independence in most countries, lack of freedom of expression was imminent in most countries. People were forced to gang up and fight for what they believed was right for them. Many years later freedom of speech as become a common right in most of the countries. Any attempt to limit freedom of speech will force the minority to fight as they try to air their views and peace will never be experienced until they are heard. Freedom of speech can only be viewed as damaging if the views aired a thorn to few majorities. Damaging and invalid expressions can never stand the test of time because they cannot win the support of the society. Comment by Carly Hearn: What do you mean specifically by this? What countries. This seems to be getting way off topic from your argument. Comment by Carly Hearn: What countries/ Again the paper needs clear topic sentences and transitions for your main points.
Any attempt to limit freedom of speech amounts to slowing down the development process in the society. According to Sen (2011), expansion of freedom is the principal means and primary end of development. Some communities have cultural and religious practices that clamp down on numerous rights on minorities. If these issues are aired to help these people, the community interprets freedom of speech as damaging because they want to continue with the outdated practices. Nothing warrants the limitation of freedom of speech regardless of whether it is interpreted as damaging or not. Comment by Carly Hearn: this needs full citation.
Points
Paper includes a cogent and valid argument based on the topic provided.
19/30 Comment by Carly Hearn: While the assignment is addressing the basic needs of the instructions and criteria, it is lacking in a clear rounded argument in the sense of distinct claims and evidence. I see hints of some claims but they are not quite clear to the audience.
Paper is 1 - 2 pages in length
3/5 Comment by Carly Hearn: While you are over a page in “technical” detail, I do not see a fully developed essay in the sense of intro with framing sentences, clear thesis and pattern of development. As an argument, it is underdeveloped and in some sense incomplete. It will help to use topic sentences and transitions to develop your communication with the audience.
Paper is free of spelling and grammar errors
3/5 Comment by Carly Hearn: There are several grammatical and structural errors throughout that distract from your argument. Remember those errors can also undermine your argument and voice/credibility or ethos.
Total
25/40
Comment by Carly Hearn:
For your revision work on the following highlighted pieces and use it as a checklist
Comment by Carly Hearn:
1. Structure-Assignment reflects clear 5 part essay format including introduction, attention catcher, framing sentences, thesis and pattern of development three main points and conclusion. Assignment should also have clear organizational pattern with topic sentences, transitions and fully developed conclusion.
2. Development of argument- specific persuasive elements including claims, evidence, rhetorical appeals, voice and/or any additional elements discussed in course materials. Assignment should reflect depth and breadth (how, why, and so what) in supporting evidence. Supporting evidence should reflect concrete examples and research as credible proof for claims. Assignment should effectively persuade audience through rhetorical elements. Comment by Carly Hearn:
3. Communication-Assignment reflects clear communication of ideas through strong grammatical and structural usage, strong intentional word choice, invitational rhetoric. Comment by Carly Hearn:
Reference
Sen, A. K. (2011). Development as freedom. Oxford [u.a.: Oxford Univ. Press.