EXTREMLY HONEST, NO PLAGIARISM

My grandmother holds a very special place in our hearts but for me especially. She has sacrificed a lot for her children and her grandchildren so that we all can have a better life. When my mother was financially unable to provide us with certain things, my grandmother always came through. She is the pillar of our home and most if not all of us would be lost without her. She has struggled for nearly forty years to provide for her entire family. She was a full-time weaver for nearly thirty years after which she took a housekeeping job that she held for another 15 years. All this was done in order for her to help our family stay afloat financially. Comment by Eric Thompson: Our is a pronoun. Pronouns are used to refer to proper nouns that have already been mentioned. By using a pronoun first, the sentence appears a tad vague. Comment by Eric Thompson: Asides must be bracketed in comas. An aside is a comment that is not central to the meaning of the sentence, therefore it is bracketed with commas.

Now she is really old and it seems that she needs additional care. Providing this care would be a great honor for both me and the rest of my family members. We want to take care of her the way she has been taking care of us throughout the years. My family called a meeting in order to discuss the welfare of our aging grandmother. Comment by Eric Thompson: Revise order of words. Consider” for both my family and I.” Comment by Eric Thompson: Based on the introduction, its clear that you selected option 3 and you are utilizing the context of the essay.

After carrying out extensive research on the matter, I came to the conclusion that it is possible to lengthen my grandmother’s years through long-term planning. This long-term planning will ensure that she has many more years here with us and she remains healthy and independent for many more years than would have been expected if we did not look into the issue of elderly care. Discussing the issue now rather than later will assist our family avoid many of the financial pitfalls that go along with unprepared elderly care (Francese, 2003). Comment by Eric Thompson: After reviewing the source, I’m confused as to how this statement is paraphrased. In fact, the sentence contains 1st person pronouns that indicate its your idea. Please contact me if you have any questions.

Research indicates that about 20% of the country’s population will consist of individuals who are 65 and older by 2030. By 2000, elderly people only comprised about 6-9% of the population. This sharp increase in the projected number of elderly people who will need assistive care is attributed to the decline in death rates for younger generations, better nutrition as well as health care. Currently, a person born in 1991 is expected to live well beyond his 70s which is 28 years older than a child born in the 1900s. Due to this trend, providing assistive medical care to the elderly has become quite common. Nearly 65% of elderly people will rely on friends and family for assistive care in this day and age. A prudent family will realize this and plan for how it can care for its elderly members. Comment by Eric Thompson: This entire paragraph contains data, which suggests the information is borrowed from a secondary source. The problem is there are no citations. Please contact me to discuss this issue.

In order to adequately cater to the needs of my aging grandmother, there are a few things we need to do, the first being setting reasonable and achievable goals. Our main goal is to ensure that my grandmother is as comfortable as possible during the few years she has left. We also want to ensure that she remains healthy and independent for as long as possible. Our expectations should also be realistic. We have to realize from the get-go that our grandmother is old and we cannot take care of her forever. Somewhere along the line she will pass away and we have to acknowledge that we do not have any power over that. Comment by Eric Thompson: Run-on sentence. In this sentence, two independent clauses are joined by only a comma. Consider creating two independent sentences, adding a semi-colon, or creating a dependent clause.

The second thing we need to understand when it comes to taking care of the elderly is that sometimes we might need help in caring for our grandmother. Currently, we are all either working or in school and with families of our own that we need to take care of. There are many time constraints as a result and it might turn out that we cannot give our grandmother the best care. Comment by Eric Thompson: Good organizational pattern.

In such a scenario, it is okay for us to put her in a home or hire someone who can be with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This does not mean that we do not love her, rather we lover enough to allow someone who can do a better job to take care of her. We can also ask extended family members for assistance. It is important to note that only about 7% of elderly individuals who need care and have a family caregiver are in institutions for the elderly. If we can plan ourselves properly, we might be able to sustainably care for our grandmother without the need for her to go into a home. Comment by Eric Thompson: Source?

We should also realize that we need to take care of ourselves first before we can afford that kind of care to our grandmother. As we embark on this journey of taking care of grandmother, every member involved needs to ensure that their health is not being compromised in any way. Each member needs to learn how to communicate/express his/her feelings regarding the issue and if the situation is burdening him more than another member of the family (Beckham & Nolan, 1991). Comment by Eric Thompson: What is being paraphrased here?

It is also important to note that taking care of our grandmother is not a one person job. It is not up to the eldest in the family to take care of her or the most financially stable or the one with the least responsibilities. Each of us should make a collective initiative in ensuring that our grandmother lives out her golden years peacefully, happily and comfortably. This way, no member will feel pressurized or overburdened with the prospect of taking care of my grandmother on his own.

References

Beckham, K., & Nolan, J. (1991). You and Your Aging Parents. Pacific Northwest Extension Publication.

Francese, P. (2003). Trend Ticker: Investing in Demographics. Journal of American Demographics.