Debrief ....................................................................................................................................................

In Good Company's Business Etiquette Quiz 26

A Personal Action Plan 28

Recommended Reading List 29

Chapter One: Course Overview

Course Overview

Fear of embarrassment from doing or saying the wrong thing is one of the most common sources of stress in a business or professional setting.

If you have had some awkward moments where you aren’t sure which fork to use or which side plate is yours, or if you’ve ever had to make small talk with some VIP and been lost for words, you know just how agonising such moments can be. However, what can be even more damaging to your career are those things you aren’t aware of, the social gaffes you aren’t even aware of making.

Learning Objectives

This module will reassure you that you can handle most of those socially difficult moments, and perhaps give you that extra edge in areas that you’d never thought of before. Specific skills we’ll work on include:

Become more skilled at networking, from making introductions to shaking hands and using business cards appropriately.

Be better prepared for both formal and informal meetings, even if you aren’t presenting.

Dress appropriately for every business occasion.
Feel comfortable when dining in business or formal situations.
Feel more confident of your business communication in every situation.

Give you that extra edge that establishes trust and credibility.

Chapter Two: Fear of Embarrassment

Fear of embarrassment from doing or saying the wrong thing is one of the most common sources of stress in a business or professional setting.

What are some embarrassing situations that you have encountered?

DO NOT SUBMIT

Chapter Three: Test Your Business Etiquette

Do this quiz on your own. Then refer to the Guidelines and Solutions at the end of the module for the correct answers.

DO NOT SUBMIT. This exercise is for self-testing purposes.

Multiple Choice

You are greeting or saying goodbye to someone. When is the proper time to shake their hand?

When you are introduced
At their home

On the street
When you say goodbye

You are in a restaurant and the waiter is coming toward you to serve wine. You don’t want any so you turn your glass upside down. Are you correct?

Yes
No. Just say, “No thank-you.”

When you greet a visitor in your office, do you:
Say nothing and let him/her find a place to sit
Tell him/her where to sit
Say “Just sit anywhere”

You’ve forgotten a lunch with a business associate. You feel terrible and know he/she is furious. Do you:

Write a letter of apology
Send flowers
Keep quiet and hope they forget about it
Call and set up another appointment

You are talking with a group of four people. Do you make eye contact with:
Just the person you are talking to.
Each of the four, moving your eyes from one to another.
Nobody in particular. Don’t look directly into anyone’s eyes.

A toast has been proposed in your honour. You say “thank you” and take a sip of your drink. Are you correct?

You meet an acquaintance and several business associates. Your acquaintance introduces you to the others but introduces you incorrectly. You:
Say nothing.
Make the correction casually and then shake hands. Don’t refer to it again.

Put a tinge of annoyance in your tone as you make the correction so your friend will know better next time.

Your fork is accidentally knocked to the floor during a meal. You:
Make a dive for it and rescue it, wipe it off with your napkin, and continue eating.
Eat with your spoon until a waiter notices and replaces it for you.

Discreetly catch the eye of a waiter and have them bring you another fork and rescue the utensil.

When you are ready to leave a dining area after a meal you should place your napkin:
On the chair
Refolded and on the plate
Crumpled to the left of the plate

The proper way to butter a roll is to:

Cut it in half with a knife, butter both pieces and eat first one half and then the other.

Tear it open with your hands, butter one half and eat it, then the second half.

Cut it completely with your knife or thumb and forefinger, and tear off little bits. Butter each bit and eat it.

True or False

See if you can complete the following questions on your own. Then refer to the Guidelines and Solutions at the end of the module for the correct answers.

DO NOT SUBMIT. This exercise is for self-testing purposes.

Once you pick up a piece of cutlery it should never touch the table again.

Standing up when you are speaking on the telephone will enhance the quality of your voice.

The appearance of your briefcase says as much about you as your clothes

At a business lunch, because time is limited, begin business discussions as soon as you sit down.

Try to pass out as many business cards as you can at social functions. This is the first rule of networking.

Essay Questions

See if you can complete the following questions on your own. Then refer to the Guidelines and Solutions at the end of the module for the correct answers.

DO NOT SUBMIT. This exercise is for self-testing purposes.

How do you know which piece of cutlery to use at a formal dinner?

How do you know which side plate is yours at a dinner meeting?

Should you reuse your plate or utensils during a buffet meal at a restaurant or hotel?

What are the rules for eating soup?

Must you serve the wine that a guest brings to a dinner party?

Chapter Four: The Handshake

During the important first few minutes of a new relationship, a handshake is usually the only body contact between two people. It can communicate warmth, a genuine concern for the other person, and an image of either strength or gentleness. It can also communicate indifference and weakness. Developing a professional handshake is perhaps one of the most valuable business skills you can ever cultivate.

The message you communicate with your handshake is determined by five factors:

Degree of firmness

Your grip should be firm rather than weak. However, you don’t want your handshake to be painful to the other person. Consideration is appreciated. Be especially considerate if you are shaking hands with someone in a receiving line who has many more hands to shake, someone who is wearing a lot of rings, or who is obviously elderly and perhaps fragile.

Dryness of hand

We all prefer to shake a hand that is dry. While you typically don’t want to obviously dry your hands before greeting someone, this is perfectly acceptable if you have been holding a cold glass. Similarly, if you are at the buffet table and have been eating, it is expected you would wipe your hand on your napkin before extending it to be shaken.

Depth of grip

A handshake is palm to palm. Generally you will place your hand so that the web between your thumb and forefinger meets the web of the other person’s hand briefly.

Your hand remains perpendicular. If your palm is facing up, this may be construed as a sign of submissiveness. Similarly, if your palm is on top, it can be seen as a sign of aggressiveness.

Duration of grip

The perfect handshake is about three seconds. You can gently pump once or twice but this is not necessary. Then pull back your hand, even if you are still talking.

Eye contact

While this will vary from culture to culture, in South Africa we expect the person shaking our hand to make eye contact with us. Have something to say as you shake hands, if possible. It doesn’t require anything witty. You can even use the old stand-by, “Pleased to meet you.” These few words set the stage for some small talk that can be the beginning of a new business relationship. Grasping the top of the other person’s hand with your other hand, so that their hand is enveloped in yours, may very well signal warmth and affection. However, this may be seen as patronizing and too familiar for an introductory handshake. Save this handshake for a meeting with an old friend.

Chapter Five: Business Card Etiquette

When it comes to giving out your business cards, keep the following tips in mind.

Don’t hand out your business card to everyone you know, as if you are spreading the wonder of who you are. First see if people need or want your card. Handing out your cards like chewing gum makes you seem like a cheap salesperson – not the image you want to project.

Make sure your business cards are clean and in good condition. They are a part of your business image. A business card that is dirty or curled at the edges leaves a poor first impression. Use a business card case to keep your cards clean and fresh.

When you receive a card, take a moment to look at it. Make a positive comment about some aspect of the card: the logo, the company name, or business location. This shows respect for the other person and demonstrates your interest in them.

As well, this is an excellent way for you to find out more about them, such as their job title. It also helps you remember their name, or reminds you of their name in case you forgot – a very common occurrence.

After you’ve looked at the card, place it carefully in a card case or in a front pocket, not a back pocket. Treat the card with respect.

Be careful about writing on people’s cards. Now, this goes against convention with most networking books and articles. But in many cultures, specifically with people from Asia, a business card is an important part of their persona, and should be treated with respect. People spend time and money designing a professional card and may not appreciate your writing across it. If you need to record information, write on the back, not the front. And ask first, “Do you mind if I write on your card?”

Don’t leave home without your cards. You shouldn’t give your cards to everyone you see, but have them ready when you need them.

If someone hands you a card that you don’t want, don’t refuse to take it. Accept it, look at it, and put it in a pocket. Throw it out later.

When your cards are damaged or out of date, print new ones. If you start crossing out information on a card and write new information on top of it, it makes it difficult to read and looks messy. Business cards are part of your image. Make sure yours are well designed and up to date.

Chapter Six: The Skill of Making Small Talk

Small talk has a bad reputation. Sometimes we think of it as the poor cousin to a “real” conversation. However, without small talk, many of us will never get to those “real” conversations. Small talk helps us put others at ease and make them comfortable. Small talk breaks the ice and goes a long way toward furthering a relationship.

The ability to make small talk can help us build business, develop our networking skills, get friends, maintain relationships, and even find us jobs.

Consider the following questions:

When you are out with a gathering of friends, do you find it easy to just chat away without thinking of what to say next?

How about when you get thrown in with a group of people you don’t know?

For most of us, the second type of conversation is much more difficult. Why? What happens? For one thing, we’ve heard so much about only having a few seconds to make a good impression that many of us stay silent for fear of being judged. However, we are still being judged when we are silent, so we may as well speak up.

Where do you find topics of conversation that you can bring up at the next party or office get-together? Conversations are much easier to start if you are a multi-topic person. Try to stay abreast of current events and to replenish your conversational larder as often as you do your refrigerator.

Where can you get some good conversational openers? Some places include: the newspaper, the television, the radio, your next door neighbor, the guy at the next desk at work, in the elevator, and at the corner store. Listen to what people are talking about.

Think about some ways you have successfully started conversations with people you didn’t know.

What works?

As important as what you say is how you say it. Wear a smile. It is always becoming to your voice.

If you find yourself alone, look for others who look similarly disengaged, join a group with an odd number of people. You could pass the cheese tray, or sample the buffet table.

One tip that often works is to imagine you are host or hostess. Now you will be less worried about yourself and more concerned about other people.

What doesn’t work?

Don’t attempt to make a derogatory remark under the guise of humour (that’s sarcasm).

Don’t try to shock. Some people are hard to shock anyway, and others may be shocked in a very negative way, so it just isn’t worth the risk.

Lengthy emotional debates will not contribute to the gathering. Death, politics, religion, illness, and children usually head the list of subjects to be avoided. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, such as when you must express your condolences to someone when someone has been ill or have somebody they care for who is ill.

Exit Lines

No matter how seriously you try, not all conversations can be made into engaging discussions. Eventually even good conversations may come to an end. Tell the other person how much you have enjoyed speaking with them and go on to meet other people.

What are some exit lines that let you bring a conversation to a close?

It’s been great talking to you. However, I mustn’t hold you up.
Perhaps we’ll meet again this evening. I expect you want to circulate a bit too.

Chapter Seven: Do You Remember Names?

To use the excuse, “I’m just no good with names” is just not acceptable if you want to win at the art of interpersonal relations and if you want to make the best impression you can on the people you do business with. So how do you remember names?

Probably rule number one should be that you want to remember names. Think of it as a skill you are developing through practice. Some additional tips include:

Repeat the name after you’ve been introduced. Then use it again as soon as possible, to underline the name in your memory bank. Repetition helps.

Look at the person as you say his/her name. Note anything visual about that person that will help you anchor that name in your memory.

If you are given a business card at some point in the conversation, take time to look at the card and the person’s name. For visual learners, actually seeing the name helps keep it in your memory.

If you have a journal, get in the habit of writing down the names of the people you meet at a function or during the day. This activates your kinesthetic learning and is just one more opportunity to fix the name in your memory.

Chapter Eight: Making That Great First

Impression

You can control that critical first impression by observing the following guidelines based on the Rule of Twelve, which suggests that we first notice and remember three things about people we meet.

The first twelve inches from shoulders up.
The first twelve steps a person takes.
The first twelve words a person speaks.

The first rule of twelve tells you that people notice everything above the shoulders of your jacket: your tie, tie knot, how well-pressed or creased your collar is, the length and neatness of your hair, your complexion, your eyes, and your smile. Remember to smile, as this is a key factor in creating that critical first impression.

The second rule of twelve tells you to enter a room with confidence and to look as if you both have a reason to be there and are happy to be there. Smile and extend your hand. Keep your shoulders back and stand up straight. If you carry a briefcase or purse, keep it in your left hand so that the right hand is ready to shake hands.

The third rule concerns your first twelve words. If this is a meeting, your first twelve words should always include a thank you of some kind. For instance, you could thank the manager or client for taking the time to see you, indicate that you're glad you could finally get together, or mention that you've been looking forward to meeting the person for a long time.

Your words should invite the other person to respond in kind, for instance, by saying, "you're welcome." This approach puts everyone at ease and opens the appointment on a friendly footing.

Remember, first impressions are lasting, so give those first twelve inches, twelve steps, and twelve words everything you've got.

Do You Look Approachable?

Far more important than how much our suit cost and whether our shoes are polished is whether or not we look approachable. Again, if we are to look approachable, we smile, make eye contact, shake hands with a good but not overpowering grip, show interest in the other person, and call them by name.

What Your Appearance Says

We were inherently more respectful of each other in the past, and devoted more time to the niceties of getting to know someone and explore common ground. In today’s world, we aren’t willing to invest the time and effort to get to know one another. We make appraisals, and assumptions, and form decisions, all within the space of a few seconds.

Research tells us people determine seven things from your appearance.

Income

Education Level
Social Position
Sophistication
Success
Moral Character
Trustworthiness

Chapter Nine: Dress for Success

Dressing the Part

The appearance of workers has changed as well. Not long ago, everyone from the most seasoned professionals to entry-level employees had a common understanding of appropriate business attire. Thanks to the creation of the khaki culture and increasing popularity of casual Friday and business casual dress, it's no longer that simple.

So how do you dress down for work without looking like you’re headed to the beach?

Here are a few easy rules to live, and dress, by.

Consider Your Work Environment

If you're meeting with clients or having business lunches, err on the conservative side. It's a sign of professional respect, and you can save the jeans for a time when you'll be in the office all day.

Strive for Consistency

If you wear tailored and conservative outfits Monday through Thursday, Friday isn’t the day to show up like you just rolled out of bed. No matter what industry you’re in, consistency goes a long way in establishing trust and credibility with all your internal and external contacts.

Ask First, Dress Later

Show respect for both yourself and management; be sure to check with your HR department or manager before showing up dressed for a barbecue.

Dress to Impress

It is important to know what is appropriate for your industry. Look around you and see if you can interpret the dress code levels in the area where you work.

For Women

If your company’s idea of business casual isn’t quite jeans and sweaters, pantsuits are the answer. Not only are they trendy; they can be dressed up or down. Choose a dark, natural shade like black, navy, brown, or grey, and opt for pants with a bootleg cut. Pair them with a light sweater, and you’ll be ready to go from your desk to a client meeting without a second thought.

When jeans are the sensible choice for the worksite, pairing them with a jacket or blazer can take them from the mud to the office without missing a beat.

Stock up on different tops to give your wardrobe a bit of versatility. Crisp, cotton shirts in white, and hues like chambray and chartreuse instantly add a casual element to your dress pants or khakis. Sweater sets are also an easy way to present a softer look while still looking professional.

Jewellery, scarves, and other accessories will add a polished touch to any outfit. Remember: less is more.

For Men

A sport coat instantly creates a pulled together look, especially in a business casual environment. It’s also an ideal choice for client meetings or presentations. Pair up a black, navy blue, or dark grey blazer with khakis or dark wool pants.

In addition to traditional dress slacks, khakis, Dockers, corduroys, wool flannel, and linen slacks are also appropriate for the office, either with or without a blazer. Jeans can be appropriate attire on a worksite, but make sure they’re not torn.

Just because it’s casual day doesn’t mean you can turn up in wrinkled pants. Be sure to iron them beforehand.

Casual button-down oxford shirts are a great alternative to dress shirts, with or without a tie. Skip the loud prints and reserve plaids for more casual times. Basic white, chambray, or pinstripes are the safest best.

Shoes are an afterthought for many men, but unkempt footwear can ruin an otherwise polished look. Oxfords and loafers in brown or black are a good match for khakis or corduroys. If your work demands sturdy boots, make sure they are clean and presentable.

What’s Your Code?

Write down your own answers to the following questions. Then refer to the Guidelines and Solutions at the end of the module for suggested answers. DO NOT SUBMIT. This exercise is for self-testing purposes.

Corporate

Business

Business Casual

Business

Adding Colour to your Wardrobe

Colour plays an important role in how we dress. Look at the following colours and the characteristic of each.

Red

Positive and upbeat, although it can be considered threatening and aggressive. Wear this colour when you want to get attention and action, but avoid it when you want input from others. It can be a good accent colour to give you authority without intimidation.

Pink

Feminine and gentle. Very non-threatening. However, wear too much of this colour and you can be dismissed as too safe, too soft, and too unimportant. This is a good colour to wear to a tea, a wedding, or a garden party. It is not a management colour. However, accents in this colour can soften the look of a severe business suit.

Orange

This is a colour of warmth, creativity, and fun. However, too much of it can make people seem too outgoing and extroverted. Worn in small doses, this can be energizing and sociable. However, this is not considered a good colour for business except in very small touches.

Yellow

This is a cheerful, positive colour and it can generally cheer people up. However, it can be seen as too impulsive and hopeful. Wear this colour when you need a pick-me-up or when you are in a fun mood. This is a good colour to boost optimism. However, wear in very small touches if you want to be taken seriously or to appear firm.

Navy Blue

This colour is seen as corporate, strong, and steady, although it can send an ultra-conservative message. Wear this colour when you don’t want to project the severity of black yet need a solid corporate stance. The tone can be lightened considerably with some colour accents.

Royal Blue

This is a positive and peaceful colour that speaks of trust and reliability, although it can also be seen as predictable and loyal to a fault. This is a good colour to wear when you need to project authority, and yet still blend in.

Light Blue

This is a soft and calm colour that can disappear into the background. Wear it when you want to have a calming influence on a group without being coming on too strong. Better as an accent colour.

Black

Generally considered more formal than any other colour. This colour is seen as strong and severe, although it can also project aloofness and a negative presence. Wear it when you want to keep people at a distance, as well as when you want to play it safe at formal occasions. Don’t wear black if you want people to open up to you, or when you are appearing on television.

Grey

This is a more neutral shade of black. It is seen as professional and respectable, although it also may be perceived as ubiquitous. Wear this colour when you want a smart professional look without drawing attention to yourself. This is a good colour for those times you want to present balance and objectivity. Add colourful accents if you want to be noticed.

White

This is a pure, clean, fresh, and futuristic look. However, it can also be seen as too cold and clinical. This is a good colour to wear when you want to appear progressive and impeccable, with high standards.

Brown

While this is an earthy and comfortable colour, it can also seem safe and even stale. This colour often comes across as homespun and unsophisticated, which can make people open up to you. Don’t wear it when you want to be seen as an authority or when you want to stand out.

Green

This colour makes you appear self-reliant, nurturing, and tenacious, although you can also be labeled boring or stubborn. This is a good restorative colour when you are feeling stressed, as you are seen as more level-headed and balanced. Not good to wear when you are fundraising or as a campaign colour.

Mauve

This colour is seen as peaceful, creative, and feminine but also can be viewed as matronly or mournful. Wear it when you want to look both elegant and safe.

Purple

This is the colour of strong emotions and passion. It is a colour of creativity and unpredictability.

Chapter Ten: Business Dining

Eight Hot Tips

"It may look like lunch, but it's still business!"

When inviting a client to lunch, remember that the restaurant you select is subconsciously perceived as an extension of your office. Therefore, select a restaurant where the food is of good quality and the service is reliable.

When escorted to a table by a maitre d’, allow your guest(s) to walk behind the person. When finding a table on your own, take the lead.

Be sure to extend the power seat to your client. Seat yourself in the seat with your back facing the door/main body of the room.

Once everyone is seated, place your napkin on your lap. This gesture serves as a cue that the meal is about to begin.

When making a food recommendation, recognize that most guests also take your suggestion as the price range to stay within.

When the server asks for your meal order before your guests', it's the perfect time to say, "I'd like my guest(s) to order first." Besides being appropriate, it's a cue to let the server know that the check should be left with you at the end of the meal.

When reaching for the bread basket, salad dressing, etc., offer them to your guest(s) before using them yourself.

Finally, tip adequately. Treat the server as one of your employees. It's a small price to pay for good service, personal attention and, hopefully, the contract that you land!

Demonstration

Place Plate

The place plate is placed one inch from the edge of the table. If the first course is already on the place plate, the napkin is placed to the left of the forks; otherwise the napkin will be on the plate.

Forks/Flatware

Handles of the flatware are aligned at the bottom. The forks (no more than three) are at the left of the place plate, placed in order of use, working from the outside in. The oyster fork is the only fork on the right side with the knives, tines of the fork placed upward, located across the soup spoon or parallel with the knives.

Often the salad is served prior to the main course. In this case, the salad fork is positioned the furthest from the plate on the left. One would use this fork first. In the case of French style dining, the salad would be served after the main course. In this case, the salad fork would be positioned next to the plate.

Knives

Knives, no more than three, are at the right of the place plate in order of use, from the outside in, with the cutting edge toward the plate. The only spoon (for a first course) is placed to the right of the knives.

Dessert Silverware

The dessert fork and spoon are above the place plate, the bowl of the spoon facing left, the fork below facing right. In the most formal setting, the dessert fork and spoon are brought in on the dessert plate.

Glassware

No more than four glasses are set on the table, in order of use, for water, white wine, red wine, and champagne, from the left to the right.

Stemware

Note the shapes of each type of stemware. They all have a unique shape and should only be used for their respective drinks.

Bread and Butter Dish

The butter plate (optional) has the knife placed across the top of the plate, handle to the right, edge of blade toward the user. The salt and pepper are above the place plate, pepper to the left of salt. Larger salt and pepper shakers to be shared are placed slightly below the wine glasses and between every two place settings.

Other Rules

At the end of the meal, you should place your used silverware close together on the plate, with the utensils entirely on the plate (less than an inch of the silverware over the side of the plate). This is a signal to the servers that your meal is finished and the dishes can be removed.

The correct way to cut your meat is to grasp your knife and fork in a relaxed, natural manner, never with clenched fists.

In the Continental eating style, you keep your fork in your left hand and convey the food to your mouth after cutting each piece. The knife remains in your hand and may be subtly used to get meat or any other food to stay in place.

Chapter Eleven: E-Mail and Telephone Etiquette

Telephone Etiquette

For most of us, the telephone is a vital source of communication. The use of cell phones and instant conversation is commonplace in our life today. However, the way you conduct yourself on the phone may be a key factor in building successful relationships.

These tips will show you how paying attention to detail may make a big difference in others’ impressions of you, both personally and professionally.

Identify yourself. When calling someone, do you identify yourself after they've said hello?

Respect others' time. When placing a call, after identifying yourself, do you ask, "Do you have a minute?" or "Is this a good time to reach your?" before explaining the reason for your call?

Ask rather than just place someone on hold.

After placing someone on hold and returning to the line, say "Thanks for waiting," rather than, "I'm back."

When screening calls, do you ask, "Who's calling, please?" rather than, "Who is this?"

When calling a professional office for any reason, always identify yourself and explain the reason for your call. Example: “Hello, this is James Jones and I’m calling to inquire about business opportunities in Gauteng.”

Call Waiting

Call waiting is only as good as the person using it. Rule #1: Just because you have call waiting, it is up to you whether to use it. It is a judgment call. Your decision should be based on who you are speaking to, the intensity of the conversation, and your relationship to the person. If you find it necessary to place someone on hold due to call waiting, always ask permission!

Answering/Voice Mail Machines

When reaching an answering machine, if you had sufficient reason for calling, leave a message. Sometimes this helps the other person know how to respond: whether to expect another call from you or if they should attempt to return your call. “Hi, it’s Julie, bye!” doesn’t say anything, does it?

When leaving a message, what and how you say it is as important as if you were speaking to the person directly. Keep the tone of your voice pleasant and upbeat. Your message should include information on why you are calling and when would be a good time to call you back.

When you leave the number where you can be reached, slow down. Give the person who is listening a chance to write it down.

Use Good Speech Habits

Phrases to use:

“One moment please”
“Yes”
“All right”
“She’s not available now”

“Good-bye”

Phrases not to use:

“Hang on”
“Yeah”
“Okey-Doke”
“Uh, I dunno where he is.”

Remember: You only get one chance to make a first impression!

Netiquette: Don’t Send and Offend

It has only been a decade since e-mail came into widespread workplace use, so perhaps we should be forgiven for making e-mail blunders. However, since we are talking about first impressions, judgments are made about words on a computer screen just as surely as they are when you are meeting somebody face to face.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you deal with technology:

Always respond to a real message. Junk mail and forwards are one thing, but if this is someone you have met at a networking function or an old friend who just wanted to connect, take the time to respond.

Use the subject line as a newspaper headline, to convey the content of your message. This is the most critical part of any e-mail, so don’t use an old subject line, or make your subject line so cryptic the reader still doesn’t know what the e-mail is about.

For professional communicators, the use of emoticons and acronyms like BTW (by the way) are way too informal. Not everybody knows what they mean. Worse, readers could get the wrong impression of your writing skills.

Make your electronic messages easy to read and easy to view. Keep the font readable and in the 10-12 point range. Use paragraphs and bullets but no background wallpaper.

Avoid overly long messages. Don’t ramble and don’t try to cover a range of subjects in one e-mail. The general rule is no more than one screen length.

“Send to All” should be reserved for those work-related messages that really should be sent to all.

In Good Company's Business Etiquette Quiz

See if you can answer the following questions on your own. Then refer to the Guidelines and Solutions at the end of the module for suggested answers. DO NOT SUBMIT. This exercise is for self-testing purposes.

Can I send an e-mail as a thank you after a lunch meeting?
Sending an e-mail thank you is all that is expected.
The hand-written note is always the best option.
Just call...it takes so much less time.

At a dinner meeting is it acceptable to leave a cell phone on at the table?
Yes, but you should leave the table if you receive a call.
Never, the person "in person" should get your full attention.
Yes, as long as everyone else has theirs left on.

Should a man or a woman initiate a business handshake?
Whoever arrived first should offer their hand.
The most senior person by age.
It does not matter - just do it!
Whoever invited the guests should initiate handshakes.

At which hole is it appropriate to talk shop when golfing with business associates?
You should never talk business during golf.
After the ninth hole.
In the clubhouse before or after the round.
Whenever your guest initiates the conversation, it's fair game.

When being introduced to a person who is blind what should I do?
Nothing; wait for the individual to offer their hand.
Avoid handshaking, but say hello.
Touch their shoulder to indicate your presence and initiate a handshake.
Say hello and wait for the individual to offer their hand.

How long does a person have to return business phone calls?
Business calls should be returned within one hour.
Call after hours and leave a voice mail.
A maximum of seven days.

Each person needs to establish their returning calls policy and consistently follow the standards which have been set.

If a meeting is scheduled for 9 am, what time should an employee arrive?
No more than thirty minutes prior to the meeting time.

Not earlier than 8:50 am, that gives you ten minutes to get organized.
Don't be early; they'll think you're over eager.

If invited to a function where I will not know anyone except the guest of honor, who am I allowed to bring?

No one, unless the invitation explicitly states "and guest.”
A friend or close colleague.
A client who may know the guest of honor.
If you are uncomfortable alone, don't attend. Send a note of regret.

At a business lunch who should pay the bill?
Always split it down the middle.
Whoever did the inviting should pay the bill.
Whoever makes more money.

Whoever is more insistent should get the bill and the other person should pay the tip.

When is it appropriate to call business associates by their first names?
As soon as you feel comfortable.
Never, always use formal names, don't get too personal.
Only if the person gives you permission.

A Personal Action Plan

I know where I’m starting from. I know I am already good at these things, and I can do them more often:

I can learn this, I am learning this, and I am doing what I can at this stage as well. I have already learned:

I will start with small steps, especially in areas that are difficult for me. My short –term goals for improvement are:

I promise to congratulate and reward myself every time I do something, no matter how small, to maintain and improve my skills. My rewards will be:

I’m setting myself up for success by choosing long-range goals to work for gradually. My long-term goals for success are as follows:

Guidelines and Solutions

Business Etiquette

Chapter 3

Test your Business Etiquette

Multiple Choice

You are greeting or saying goodbye to someone. When is the proper time to shake their hand?

When you are introduced

At their home

On the street

When you say goodbye

You are in a restaurant and the waiter is coming toward you to serve wine. You don’t want any so you turn your glass upside down. Are you correct?

Yes

No. Just say, “No thank-you.”

When you greet a visitor in your office, do you:
Say nothing and let him/her find a place to sit

Tell him/her where to sit
Say “Just sit anywhere”

You’ve forgotten a lunch with a business associate. You feel terrible and know he/she is furious. Do you:

Write a letter of apology

Send flowers

Keep quiet and hope they forget about it

Call and set up another appointment

You are talking with a group of four people. Do you make eye contact with:
Just the person you are talking to.

Each of the four, moving your eyes from one to another.
Nobody in particular. Don’t look directly into anyone’s eyes.

A toast has been proposed in your honour. You say “thank you” and take a sip of your drink. Are you correct?

Yes

No
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You meet an acquaintance and several business associates. Your acquaintance introduces you to the others but introduces you incorrectly. You:

Say nothing.

Make the correction casually and then shake hands. Don’t refer to it again.

Put a tinge of annoyance in your tone as you make the correction so your friend will know better next time.

Your fork is accidentally knocked to the floor during a meal. You:

Make a dive for it and rescue it, wipe it off with your napkin, and continue eating.

Eat with your spoon until a waiter notices and replaces it for you.

Discreetly catch the eye of a waiter and have them bring you another fork and rescue the utensil.

When you are ready to leave a dining area after a meal you should place your napkin:

On the chair

Refolded and on the plate

Crumpled to the left of the plate

The proper way to butter a roll is to:

Cut it in half with a knife, butter both pieces and eat first one half and then the other.

Tear it open with your hands, butter one half and eat it, then the second half.

Cut it completely with your knife or thumb and forefinger, and tear off little bits. Butter each bit and eat it.

True or False

1) Once you pick up a piece of cutlery it should never touch the table again.

TRUE: After using your knife, for example, rest it on the side of your plate, not on the table.

Standing up when you are speaking on the telephone will enhance the quality of your voice.

TRUE: The listener can hear your smile as well.

3) The appearance of your briefcase says as much about you as your clothes

TRUE: It may not send a message that is quite as clear, but a stuffed, disorganized briefcase of poor quality does not enhance your image.

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At a business lunch, because time is limited, begin business discussions as soon as you sit down.

FALSE: Good manners indicate you enjoy a bit of small talk and most of the meal before getting down to business. A good time for “getting down to business” is during coffee and dessert.

Try to pass out as many business cards as you can at social functions. This is the first rule of networking.

FALSE: We will cover this topic later on in this module.

Essay Questions

How do you know which piece of cutlery to use at a formal dinner? ANSWER: Start with the cutlery which is furthest away from your plate.

How do you know which side plate is yours at a dinner meeting? ANSWER: Your side plate in on your left

Should you reuse your plate or utensils during a buffet meal at a restaurant or hotel?

ANSWER: You shouldn’t have to reuse your plate or utensils. If you don’t see replacements, catch the eye of the server. At a private party, use your head and reuse your plate if it seems advisable.

4) What are the rules for eating soup?

ANSWER: Always spoon your soup away from you.

5) Must you serve the wine that a guest brings to a dinner party?

ANSWER: No, thank them and tell them you will enjoy it later.

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Chapter 9

Corporate Level

This is the formal business level of dress, reserved for high level meetings where there is a lot riding on presenting a rock solid image of integrity and credibility. This look includes:

Dark clothing of an expensive material like wool gabardine, with a conservative classic tailored cut for either men or women.

Ties are conservative plain or striped in neutral or dark colours.

Accessories are kept to a minimum, but are always expensive.

Laced black shoes and socks for men; dark pantyhose and conservative heels for women.

Business

This is a professional business environment and the uniform of millions of people every day. If this is your company’s dress code, your wardrobe should include:

Suits for men and pantsuits or skirted suits for women.

The fabric is generally wool or a wool blend.

Colours are black, navy, grey, or brown.

Shirts or blouses can have subtle patterns.

Ties are required.

Some colours and patterns are acceptable.

Women’s skirts are usually knee-length.

Business Casual

This is the common dress of most people, certainly those who work at the mid-management level..

Coordinating jacket and pants or skirt is acceptable for both men and women.

Fabric is still wool or wool blends, although some micro fibers are gaining acceptance.

More variety in shoes: loafers in dark colours and tan are acceptable, but no sneakers.

No denim.

Casual

This is still the dress of people at the front line. Here’s how these people dress:

Denim jeans with a jacket or sweater are acceptable at this level.

Sneakers, sandals, and work boots are acceptable depending on the industry.

Here are some items that are inappropriate at any level:

No leisure clothes like jogging suits or sweat pants

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No revealing clothing

No torn, dirty clothing

*This is by no means the last word on this. Standards are different across the country.

Chapter 11

In good company’s Business Quiz

Can I send an e-mail as a thank you after a lunch meeting? ANSWER: B. The hand-written note is always the best option.

At a dinner meeting is it acceptable to leave a cell phone on at the table? ANSWER: B. Never, the person "in person" should get your full attention.

Should a man or a woman initiate a business handshake? ANSWER: C. It does not matter - just do it!

At which hole is it appropriate to talk shop when golfing with business associates? ANSWER: D. Whenever your guest initiates the conversation, it's fair game.

When being introduced to a person who is blind what should I do? ANSWER: D. Say hello and wait for the individual to offer their hand.

How long does a person have to return business phone calls?

ANSWER: D. Each person needs to establish their returning calls policy and consistently follow the standards which have been set.

If a meeting is scheduled for 9:00am, what time should an employee arrive? ANSWER: B. Not earlier than 8:50am, which gives you ten minutes to get organized.

If invited to a function where I will not know anyone except the guest of honor, who am I allowed to bring?

ANSWER: A. No one, unless the invitation explicitly states "and guest.”

At a business lunch who should pay the bill?

ANSWER: B. Whoever did the inviting should pay the bill.

When is it appropriate to call business associates by their first names? ANSWER: C. Only if the person gives you permission

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Recommended Reading List

Boothman, Nicholas. "How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less (Audiobook)." Audiofy/Listen & Live, 2005.

Brennan, Lynn. Business Etiquette For The 21st Century: What to Do and What NOT to Do. Piatkus Books, 2004.

Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Pocket Books, 1998 (Reprint).

Chaney, Lillian Hunt, and Jeanette St. Clair Martin. The Essential Guide to Business Etiquette. Praeger Publishers, 2007.

Craig, Elizabeth. Don't Slurp Your Soup: A Basic Guide to Business Etiquette. Brighton Publications, 1996.

DuPont, Kay. Business Etiquette and Professionalism. Crisp Learning, 2000. Foster, Dean. The Global Etiquette Guide to Europe. Wiley, 2000.

Fox, Sue. Business Etiquette for Dummies. Wiley & Son's, Inc, 2000.

High, Jana L. High-Tech Etiquette: Perfecting the Art of Plugged-In Politeness. Rawdon & Watson Publishing Company, 2002.

Holberg, Andrea, Sonia Garza, Kathleen D. Kelly, and Kathleen A. Moses. Forms of Address: A Guide for Business and Social Use. Rice University Press, 2006.

Moats Kennedy, Marilyn. Office Politics for Dummie . Hungry Minds, 2002. Ramsey, Lydia. Manners That Sell. Longfellow Press, 2000.

Sabbath, Ann Marie. Business Etiquette: 101 Ways to Conduct Business with Charm and Savvy. Career Press, 2002.

Wyse, Lois. Company Manners. Random House, 1994.

END