english read review

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TV and movie scripter Harlan Ellison is a small, intense, muscular 'young man, something like a

miniature Rod Serling, who never gets anywhere on time. Here is a story written to the rhythm of

a clock without a balance wheel, out of whack, out of synch, tock-tick, tick-tock.

Nebula Award, Best Short Story 1965

"REPENT, HARLEQUIN!" SAID THE TICKTOCKMAN

By Harlan Ellison

There are always those who ask, what is it all about? For those who need to ask, for those

who need points sharply made, who need to know "where it's at," this: "The mass of men

serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the

standing army, and the militia, jailors, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases

there is no free exercise whatever of the judgment or of the moral sense; but they put

themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be

manufactured that will serve the purposes as well. Such command no more respect than

men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs.

Yet such as these even are commonly esteemed good citizens. Others as most legislators,

politicians, lawyers, ministers, and office-holders serve the state chiefly with their heads;

and, as they rarely make any moral distinctions, they are as likely to serve the Devil,

without intending it, as God. A very few, as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the

great sense, and men, serve the state with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist

it for the most part; and they are commonly treated as enemies by it."

Henry David Thoreau, "Civil Disobedience"

That is the heart of it. Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take

care of itself. But because it was the very world it was, the very world they had allowed it to

become, for months his activities did not come to the alarmed attention of The Ones Who Kept

The Machine Functioning Smoothly, the ones who poured the very best butter over the cams and

mainsprings of the culture. Not until it had become obvious that somehow, someway, he had

become a notoriety, a celebrity, perhaps even a hero for (what Officialdom inescapably tagged)

"an emotionally disturbed segment of the populace," did they turn it over to the Ticktockman and

his legal machinery. But by then, because it was the very world it was, and they had no way to

predict he would happen possibly a strain of disease long-defunct, now, suddenly, reborn in a

system where immunity had been forgotten, had lapsed he had been allowed to become too real.

Now he had form and substance.

He had become a personality, something they had filtered out of the system many decades ago.

But there it was, and there he was, a very definitely imposing personality. In certain circles

middle-class circles it was thought disgusting. Vulgar ostentation. Anarchistic. Shameful. In

others, there was only sniggering, those strata where thought is subjugated to form and ritual,

niceties, proprieties. But down below, ah, down below, where the people always needed their

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saints and sinners, their bread and circuses, their heroes and villains, he was considered a

Bolivar; a Napoleon; a Robin Hood; a Dick Bong (Ace of Aces); a Jesus; a Jomo Kenyatta.

And at the topwhere, like socially-attuned Shipwreck Kellys, even tremor and vibration threatens

to dislodge the wealthy, powerful, and titled from their flagpoleshe was considered a menace; a

heretic; a rebel; a disgrace; a peril. He was known down the line, to the very heartmeat core, but

the important reactions were high above and far below. At the very top, at the very bottom.

So his file was turned over, along with his time-card and his cardioplate, to the office of the

Ticktockman.

The Ticktockman: very much over six feet tall, often silent, a soft purring man when things went

timewise. The Ticktock-man.

Even in the cubicles of the hierarchy, where fear was generated, seldom suffered, he was called

the Ticktockman.

But no one called him that to his mask.

You don't call a man a hated name, not when that man, behind his mask, is capable of revoking

the minutes, the hours, the days and nights, the years of your life. He was called the Master

Timekeeper to his mask. It was safer that way.

"This is what he is," said the Ticktockman with genuine softness, "but not who he is? This

time-card I'm holding in my left hand has a name on it, but it is the name of what he is, not

who he is. This cardioplate here in my right hand is also named, but not whom named, merely

what named. Before I can exercise proper revocation, I have to know who this what is."

To his staff, all the ferrets, all the loggers, all the finks, all the commex, even the mineez, he said,

"Who is this Harlequin?"

He was not purring smoothly. Timewise, it was jangle.

However, it was the longest single speech they had ever

heard him utter at one time, the staff, the ferrets, the loggers, the finks, the commex, but not the

mineez, who usually weren't around to know, in any case. But even they scurried to find out.

Who is the Harlequin?

High above the third level of the city, he crouched on the humming aluminum-frame platform of

the air-boat (foof! air-boat, indeed! swizzleskid is what it was, with a tow-rack jerry-rigged) and

stared down at the neat Mondrian arrangement of the buildings.

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Somewhere nearby, he could hear the metronomic left-right-left of the 2:47 P.M. shift, entering

the Timkin roller-bearing plant in their sneakers. A minute later, precisely, he heard the softer

right-left-right of the 5:00 A.M. formation, going home. An elfish grin spread across his tanned

features, and his dimples appeared for a moment. Then, scratching at his thatch of auburn hair,

he shrugged within his motley, as though girding himself for what came next, and threw the

joystick forward, and bent into the wind as the air-boat dropped. He skimmed over a slidewalk,

purposely dropping a few feet to crease the tassels of the ladies of fashion, andinserting thumbs

in large earshe stuck out his tongue, rolled his eyes, and went wugga-wugga-wugga. .It was a

minor diversion. One pedestrian skittered and tumbled, sending parcels everywhichway, another

wet herself, a third keeled slantwise and the walk was stopped automatically by the servitors till

she could be resuscitated. It was a minor diversion.

Then he swirled away on a vagrant breeze, and was gone.

Hi-ho.

As he rounded the cornice of the Time-Motion Study Building, he saw the shift, just boarding the

slidewalk. With practiced motion and an absolute conservation of movement, they sidestepped

up onto the slowstrip and (in a chorus line reminiscent of a Busby Berkeley film of the

antediluvian 1930's) advanced across the strips ostrich-walking till they were lined up on the

expresstrip.

Once more, in anticipation, the elfin grin spread, and there was a tooth missing back there on the

left side. He dipped, skimmed, and swooped over them; and then, scrunching about on the

air-boat, he released the holding pins that fastened shut the ends of the home-made pouring

troughs that kept his cargo from dumping prematurely. And as he pulled the trough-pins, the

air-boat slid over the factory workers and one hundred and fifty thousand dollars' worth Of jelly

beans cascaded down on the expresstrip.

Jelly beans! Millions and billions of purples and yellows and greens and licorice and grape and

raspberry and mint and round and smooth and crunchy outside and soft-mealy inside and sugary

and bouncing jouncing tumbling clittering clattering skittering fell on the heads and shoulders

and hardhats and carapaces of the Timkin workers, tinkling on the slidewalk and bouncing away

and rolling about underfoot and filling the sky on their way down with all the colors of joy and

childhood and holidays, coming down in a steady rain, a solid wash, a torrent of color and

sweetness out of the sky from above, and entering a universe of sanity and metronomic order

with quite-mad coocoo newness. Jelly beans!

The shift workers howled and laughed and were pelted, and broke ranks, and the jelly beans

managed to work their way into the mechanism of the slidewalks after which there was a hideous

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scraping as the sound of a million fingernails rasped down a quarter of a million blackboards,

followed by a coughing and a sputtering, and then the slidewalks all stopped and everyone was

dumped thisawayandthataway in a jackstraw tumble, and still laughing and popping little jelly

bean eggs of childish color into their mouths. It was a holiday, and a jollity, an absolute insanity,

a giggle. But . ..

The shift was delayed seven minutes.

They did not get home for seven minutes.

The master schedule was thrown off by seven minutes.

Quotas were delayed by inoperative slidewalks for seven minutes.

He had tapped the first domino in the line, and one after another, like chik chik chik, the others

had fallen.

The System had been seven minutes worth of disrupted. It was a tiny matter, one hardly worthy

of note, but in a society where the single driving force was order and unity and promptness and

clocklike precision and attention to the clock, reverence of the gods of the passage of time, it was

a disaster of major importance.

So he was ordered to appear before the Ticktockman. It was broadcast across every channel of

the communications web. He was ordered to be there at 7:00 dammit on time. And they waited,

and they waited, but he didn't show up till almost ten-thirty, at which time he merely

sang a little song about moonlight in a place no one had ever heard of, called Vermont, and

vanished again. But they had all been waiting since seven, and it wrecked hell with their

schedules. So the question remained: Who is the Harlequin?

But the unasked question (more important of the two) was: how did we get into this position,

where a laughing, irresponsible japer of jabberwocky and jive could disrupt our entire economic

and cultural life with a hundred and fifty thousand dollars' worth of jelly beans . . .

Jelly for God's sake beans! This is madness! Where did he get the money to buy a hundred and

fifty thousand dollars' worth of jelly beans? (They knew it would have cost that much, because

they had a team of Situation Analysts pulled off another assignment, and rushed to the slidewalk

scene to sweep up and count the candies, and produce findings, which disrupted their schedules

and threw their entire branch at least a day behind.) Jelly beans! Jelly . . . beans? Now wait a

seconda second accounted forno one has manufactured jelly beans for over a hundred years.

Where did he get jelly beans?

That's another good question. More than likely it will never be answered to your complete

satisfaction. But then, how many questions ever are?

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The middle you know. Here is the beginning. How it starts: A desk pad. Day for day, and turn

each day. 9:00open the mail. 9:45appointment with planning commission board. 10:30discuss

installation progress charts with J.L. 11:45 pray for rain. 12:00lunch. And so it goes.

"I'm sorry. Miss Grant, but the time for interviews was set at 2:30, and it's almost five now. I'm

sorry you're late, but those are the rules. You'll have to wait till next year to submit application

for this college again." And so it goes.

The 10:10 local stops at Cresthaven, Galesville, Tonawanda Junction, Selby, and Farnhurst, but

not at Indiana City, Lucas-vine, and Colton, except on Sunday. The 10:35 express stops at

Galesville, Selby, and Indiana City, except on Sunday & Holi-days, at which time it stops at . . .

and so it goes.

"I couldn't wait, Fred. I had to be at Pierre Cartain's by 3:00, and you said you'd meet me under

the clock in the terminal at 2:45, and you weren't there, so I had to go on. You're always late,

Fred. If you'd been there, we could have sewed it up together, but as it was, well, I took the order

alone . . ." And so it goes.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Atterley: in reference to your son Gerold's constant tardiness, I am afraid we

will have to suspend him from school unless some more reliable method can be instituted

guaranteeing he will arrive at his classes on time.

Granted he is an exemplary student, and his marks are high, his constant flouting of the

schedules of this school makes it impractical to maintain him in a system where the other

children seem capable of getting where they are supposed to be on time and so it goes.

YOU CANNOT VOTE UNLESS YOU APPEAR AT 8:45A.M.

"I don't care if the script is good, I need it Thursday!"

CHECK-OUT TIME IS 2:00 P.M.

"You got here late. The job's taken. Sorry."

YOUR SALARY HAS BEEN DOCKED FOR TWENTY MINUTES' TIME LOST.

"God, what time is it, I've gotta run!"

And so it goes. And so it goes. And so it goes. And so it goes goes goes goes goes tick tock tick

tock tick tock and one day we no longer let time serve us, we serve time and we are slaves

of the schedule, worshippers of the sun's passing, bound into a life predicated on restrictions

because the system will not function if we don't keep the schedule tight.

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Until it becomes more than a minor inconvenience to be late.

It becomes a sin. Then a crime. Then a crime punishable by this: EFFECTIVE 15 JULY 2389,

12:00:00 midnight, the office of the Master Timekeeper will require all citizens to submit their

time-cards and cardioplates for processing. In accordance with Statute 555-7-SGH-999

governing the revocation of time per capita, all cardioplates will be keyed to the individual

holder and What they had done, was devise a method of curtailing the amount of life a person

could have. If he was ten minutes late, he lost ten minutes of his life. An hour was

proportionately worth more revocation. If someone was consistently tardy, he might find

himself, on a Sunday night, receiving a communiqué from the Master Timekeeper that his time

had run out, and he would be "turned off" at high noon on Monday, please straighten your

affairs, sir.

And so, by this simple scientific expedient (utilizing a scientific process held dearly secret by the

Ticktockman's of-fice) the System was maintained. It was the only expedient thing to do. It

was, after all, patriotic. The schedules had to be met. After all, there was a war only But, wasn't

there always?

"Now that is really disgusting," the Harlequin said, when pretty Alice showed him the wanted

poster. "Disgusting and highly improbable. After all, this isn't the days of desperadoes.

A wanted poster!"

"You know," Alice noted, "you speak with a great deal of inflection."

"I'm sorry," said the Harlequin, humbly.

"No need to be sorry. You're always saying I'm sorry.' You have such massive guilt, Everett, it's

really very sad."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, then pursed his lips so the dimples appeared momentarily. He hadn't

wanted to say that at all. "I have to go out again. I have to do something."

Alice slammed her coffee-bulb down on the counter. "Oh for God's sake, Everett, can't you stay

home just one night! Must you always be out in that ghastly clown suit, running around

axunoying people?"

"I'm" he stopped, and clapped the jester's hat onto his auburn thatch with a tiny tingling of bells.

He rose, nnsed out his coffee-bulb at the tap, and put it into the drier for a moment.

"I have to go."

She didn't answer. The faxbox was purring, and she pulled a sheet out, read it, threw it toward

him on the counter. "It's about you. Of course. You're ridiculous."

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He readit quickly. It said the Ticktockman was trying to locate him. He didn't care, he was going

out to be late again. At the door, dredging for an exit line, he hurled back petulantly, "Well, you

speak with inflection, too!"

Alice rolled her pretty eyes heavenward. "You're ridiculous."

The Harlequin stalked out, slamming the door, which sighed shut softly, and locked itself.

There was a gentle knock, and Alice got up with an exhalation of exasperated breath, and opened

the door. He stood there. "I'll be back about ten-thirty, okay?"

She pulled a rueful face. "Why do you tell me that? Why?

You know you'll be late! You know it! You're always late, so why do you tell me these dumb

things?" She closed the door.

On the other side, the Harlequin nodded to himself. She's right. She's always right. I'll be late.

I'm always late. Why do /tell her these dumb things?

He shrugged again, and went off to be late once more.

He had fired off the firecracker rockets that said: I will attend the 115th annual International

Medical Association Invocation at 8:00 P.M. precisely. I do hope you will all be able to join me.

The words had burned in the sky, and of course the authorities were there, lying in wait for him.

They assumed, naturally, that he would be late. He arrived twenty minutes early, while they were

setting up the spiderwebs to trap and hold him, and blowing a large bullhorn, he frightened and

unnerved them so, their own moisturized encirclement webs sucked closed, and they were hauled

up, kicking and shrieking, high above the amphitheater's floor. The Harlequin laughed and

laughed, and apologized profusely. The physicians,' gathered in solemn conclave, roared with

laughter, and accepted the Harlequin's apologies with exaggerated bowing and posturing, and a

merry time was had by all, who thought the Harlequin was a regular foofaraw in fancy pants; all,

that is, but the authorities, who had been sent out by the office of the Ticktockman, who hung

there like so much dockside cargo, hauled up above the floor of the amphitheater in a most

unseemly fashion.

(In another part of the same city where the Harlequin carried on .his "activities," totally unrelated

in every way to what concerns here, save that k illustrates the Ticktockman's power and import, a

man named Marshall Delahanty received his turn-off notice from the Ticktockman's office. His

wife received the notification from the gray-suited minee who delivered it, with the traditional

"look of sorrow" plastered hideously across his face. She knew what it was, even without

unsealing it. It was a billet-doux of immediate recognition to everyone these days. She gasped,

and held it as though it were a glass slide tinged with botulism, and prayed it was not for her. Let

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it be for Marsh, she thought, brutally, realistically, or one of the kids, but not for me, please dear

God, not for me. And then she opened it, and it was for Marsh, and she was at one and the same

time horrified and relieved. The next trooper in the line had caught the bullet. "Marshall," she

screamed, "Marshall! Termination, Marshall! OhmiGod, Marshall, whattiwe do, whatti we do,

Marshall omigodmarshall . . ." and in their home that night was the sound of tearing paper and

fear, and the stink of madness went up the flue and there was nothing, absolutely nothing they

could do about it. (But Marshall Delahanty tried to run. And early the next day, when turn-off

time came, he was deep in the forest two hundred miles away, and the office of the Ticktockman

blanked his cardioplate, and Marshall Delahanty keeled over, running, and his heart stopped, and

the blood dried up on its way to his brain, and he was dead that's all. One light went out on his

sector map in the office of the Master Timekeeper, while notification was entered for fax

reproduction, and Georgette Delahanty's name was entered on the dole roles till she could

re-marry. Which is the end of the footnote, and all the point that need be made, except don't

laugh, because that is what would happen to the Harlequin if ever the Ticktockman found out his

real name. It isn't funny.) The shopping level of the city was thronged with the Thursday-colors

of the buyers. Women in canary yellow chitons and men in pseudo-Tyrolean outfits that were

jade and leatherand fit very tightly, save for the balloon pants.

When the Harlequin appeared on the still-being-constructed shell of the new Efficiency

Shopping Center, his bullhorn to his elfishly-laughing lips, everyone pointed and stared, and

heberated them:

"Why let them order you about? Why let them tell you to hurry and scurry like ants or maggots?

Take your time! Saunter a while! Enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the breeze, let life carry you at your

own pace! Don't be slaves of time, it's a helluva way to die, slowly, by degrees . . . down with the

Ticktockman!"

Who's the nut? most of the shoppers wanted to know. Who's the nut oh wow I'm gonna be late I

gotta run. . .

And the construction gang on the Shopping Center received an urgent order from the office of

the Master Timekeeper that the dangerous criminal known as the Harlequin was atop their spire,

and their aid was urgently needed in apprehending him.

The work crew said no, they would lose time on their construction schedule, but the

Ticktockman managed to pull the proper threads of governmental webbing, and they were told to

cease work and catch that nitwit up there on the spire with the bullhom. So a dozen and more

burly workers began climbing into their construction platforms, releasing the a-grav plates, and

rising toward the Harlequin.

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After the debacle (in which, through the Harlequin's attention to personal safety, no one was

seriously injured), the workers tried to reassemble, and assault him again, but it was too late. He

had vanished. It had attracted quite a crowd, however, and the shopping cycle was thrown off by

hours, simply hours. The purchasing needs of the system were therefore falling behind, and so

measures were taken to accelerate the cycle for the rest of the day, but it got bogged down and

speeded up and they sold too many float-valves and not nearly enough wegglers, which meant

that the popli ratio was off, which made it necessary to rush cases and cases of spoiling Smash-0

to stores that usually needed a case only every three or four hours. The shipments were bollixed,

the trans-shipments were misrouted, and in the end, even the swizzleskid industries felt it.

"Don't come back till you have him!" the Ticktockman said, very quietly, very sincerely,

extremely dangerously.

They used dogs. They used probes. They used cardioplate crossoffs. They used teepers. They

used bribery. They used stiktytes. They used intimidation. They used torment. They used torture.

They used finks. They used cops. They used search&seizure. They used fallaron. They used

betterment incentive. They used fingerprints. They used Bertillon. They used cunning. They used

guile. They used treachery. They used Raoul Mitgong, but he didn't help. much. They used

applied physics. They used techniques of criminology.

And what the hell: they caught him.

After all, his name was Everett C. Marm, and he wasn't much to begin with, except a man who

had no sense of time.

"Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktockman.

"Get stuffed!" the Harlequin replied, sneering.

"You've been late a total of sixty-three years, five months, three weeks, two days, twelve hours,

forty-one minutes, fifty-nine seconds, point oh three six one one one microseconds.

You've used up everything you can, and more. I'm going to turn you off."

"Scare someone else. I'd rather be dead than live in a dumb world with a bogeyman like you."

"It's my job."

"You're full of it. You're a tyrant. You have no right to order people around and kill them if they

show up late."

"You can't adjust. You can't fit in."

"Unstrap me, and I'll fit my fist into your mouth."

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"You're a non-conformist."

"That didn't used to be a felony."

"It is now. Live in the world around you."

"I hate it. It's a terrible world."

"Not everyone thinks so. Most people enjoy order."

"I don't, and most of the people I know don't."

"That's not true. How do you think we caught you?"

"I'm not interested."

"A girl named pretty Alice told us who you were."

"That's a lie."

"It's true. You unnerve her. She wants to belong, she wants

to conform, I'm going to turn you off."

"Then do it already, and stop arguing with me."

"I'm not going to turn you off."

"You're an idiot!"

"Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktockman.

"Get stuffed."

So they sent him to Coventry. And in Coventry they worked him over. It was just like what they

did to Winston Smith in "1984," which was a book none of them knew about, but the techniques

are really quite ancient, and so they did it to Everett C. Marm, and one day quite a long time

later, the Harlequin appeared on the communications web, appearing elfish and dimpled and

bright-eyed, and not at all brainwashed, and he said he had been wrong, that it was a good, a very

good thing indeed, to belong, and be right on time hip-ho and away we go, and everyone stared

up at him on the public screens that covered an entire city block, and they said to themselves,

well, you see, he was just a nut after all, and if that's the way the system is run, then let's do it

that way, because it doesn't pay to fight city hall, or in this case, the Ticktockman. So Everett C.

Marm was destroyed, which was a loss, because of what Thoreau said earlier, but you can't make

an omelet without breaking a few eggs, and in every revolution, a few die who shouldn't, but

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they have to, because that's the way it happens, and if you make only a little change, then it

seems to be worthwhile. Or, to make the point lucidly:

"Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't know how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes

late. The schedule is a , little, uh, bit off."

He grinned sheepishly.

"That's ridiculous!" murmured the Ticktockman behind his mask. "Check your watch." And then

he went into his office, going mrmee, mrmee, mrmee, mrmee.