Communication assignment

Martin Buber

Martin Buber believes that the relation to other people is the cradle of life. “In the beginning is the relation. The creation is the cradle of actual life.” Mutuality, that is, interactions between two people, is therefore the essence of humanness. People are most fully human as “persons-in-relation” who live simultaneously for others and for themselves. Human relationships develop through dialogue—an intentional process in which the only agenda both parties have is to understand what it’s like to be the other. He focuses on relationships between people rather than on moral codes of conduct. Buber contrasted two types of relationships I – It and I – Thou. In I-It relationships we treat the other person as a thing to be used, an object to be manipulated. Created by monologue, an I-It relationship lacks mutuality. Parties come together as individuals intent on creating only an impression, an appearance. Deceit is a way to maintain appearances. In the I-it mode we think of people as only tools for our use; we do not acknowledge the humanity of the other person. Salespeople, servers in restaurants, and clerical staff are often not treated as people, but as instruments to take orders and deliver what we want. When the I-It mentality pervades us we renounce our human character and our potential to create a sense of community diminishes. In an I-Thou relationship we regard our partner as the very one we are. Buber sees this as the highest form of human communication. We see the other person as created in the image of God and resolve to treat him or her as a valued end rather than as a means to our own end. This implies that we will seek to experience the relationship as it appears to the other person. Buber says we can only do this through dialogue.

In I-Thou communication we don’t mask ourselves. Instead, we open ourselves fully, trusting others to accept US as we are with virtues and vices, hopes and fears, strengths and weaknesses. For Buber, dialogue is a synonym for ethical communication. Dialogue is mutuality in conversation that creates the “between” the “interhuman,” the “transaction” through which we help each other to be more human. Dialogue is not only a morally appropriate act, it is also a way to discover what is ethical in our relationship. It thus requires self-disclosure to, confirmation of, and vulnerability with the other person. Buber used the image of the “narrow ridge” to picture the tension of dialogic living. On one side of the moral path is the gulf of subjectivity, where there are no standards. On the other side is the plateau of absolutism, where rules are etched in stone: On the far side of the subjective, on this side of the objective, is the narrow ridge where I and Thou meet, there is the realm of the Between. Duquesne University communication ethicist Ron Arnett notes, “Living the narrow-ridge philosophy requires a life of personal and interpersonal concern, which is likely to generate a more complicated existence than that of the egoist or the selfless martyr.” People feel dual tugs toward the opposites—dialogue and manipulation. It is unethical to reduce our concept of human existence to a series of individuals who can be measured and known objectively. Dialogue, then, is the place where values are determined. We become human through our communication with others, and we are responsible for maintaining our humanity through communication. Buber believed that we become fully human only in I-Thou relationships, 6 ethical guidelines from Richard Johannesen (1990) that help us walk Buber's "narrow ridge"

• Authenticity. Being yourself. Being as you truly are. • Inclusion. Using dialogue to understand the other’s world. Opening

up. Knowing that reality is differently experienced depending on who we are.

• Confirmation. In dialogue we can verify each other’s existence. Noticing others. Including them. Confirming their communication attempts. Not faking sincerity, interest, or competence to make the right impression.

• Presentness. Involvement. Demonstrating a willingness to become fully involved with each other by taking time, avoiding distraction, being accessible.

• Spirit of mutual equality. Not imposing their will on others. Seeking ways to allow and encourage others to express themselves more fully. Dialogue is opposite to monologue. It includes thorough listening.

• Supportive climate. Judgment is not the central character of I-Thou. Rather, it recognizes the connection between persons as indicated by the hyphen connecting I-Thou. Dialogue is a team effort.