fix my essay

Lanxiang Wang

Professor: Betsy Self Elijah

Mar 10, 2015

Essay #2

Which One is More convince

Do females talk more than men ? According to “Women Talk Too Much” essay by Janet Holmes, the true answer depends on the situation and many different factors. The essay has evidence that women don’t talk too much and tend to participate in talks to offer support and encouragement. She further describes how women hold up in formal or social events to prevent themselves from being perceived as cocky. In “The Party Line”, Rachel Rafelman also gives details on if women talk too much. She bases her research on a social gathering filled with both men and women in almost equal numbers. She provides details of how men and women engage in conversation over various different topics and the styles of communication they use. Men and women differ in their gender language on dominance versus subjection basis, kind of talk, self-disclosure basis and social confidence. However, I think Holmes is more convince to me by her claims, evidence, and tone.

For evidences, in Holmes’s essay, she uses very specific data, location, events, and person as example, like “Two Canadian researchers, Deborah James and Janice Drakich, reviewed sixty-three studies ...”and the research done in New Zealand shows that men dominated the time in a TV interview for more than half the time for each person. Holmes also provides a good evidences of men’s dominant naturally in discussions from the British company meetings was abruptly interrupted by a male colleague when she was trying to explain her point. The male colleague seems tried to explain her point on his own perspective. In classrooms, Holmes explains that male students want to participate a lot because more talk is associated with a social status or power that is higher from others. She mentions that ”many studies have shown that...for pupil talk.” Rafelman also provide many evidences specifically. She uses examples like” Kate Fillion, author of How to Dump a Guy: A Coward’s Manual...”. But I think Holmes gives reader more detail and her evidences are more specific. So I think Holmes’s evidences are more convince to me.

For claim, Holmes begins with a question and some proverbs to be hook that let readers have more interests to read. Holmes divides her essay to specific part by subtitles, “The Evidence”, “Looking for an Explanation”, and so on. This way let me know clearly the purpose of each part, and the main idea of her argument For Rafelman, she just gives us examples and arguments, I think it is too commonplace. Also she gives us herself’s experience, but in this academic essay, self experiences are not convinced. So I think claims in Women Talk Too Much are more persuasive for me.

Rafelman uses a informal tone, we can see from “I mean, God only knows what we would get into there!” , “ What we’re dealing with here are broad strokes, generalities, even stereotypes. Okay?” . However, Holmes’s tone is more formal, and serious. In this academic essay, I think formal and serious tone have more powerful on convince me.

All in all, Holmes uses her claims more clear, her evidences more specific, and her tone more formal and serious than Rafelman does, so I believe that Women Talk Too Much is more convince to me.

Works Cited

Holmes, Janet.”Women Talk Too Much” Exploring Language 11th Edition. Ed. Gary Goshgarian. New York: Longman, 2007.299-305. Print.

Rachel Rafelman.”The Party Line”Exploring Language 11th Edition. Ed. Gary Goshgarian. New York: Longman,2007.317-321. Print.