Revision Essay- Due in 4 hours.

Running head: ESSAY ASSIGNMENT

ESSAY ASSIGNMENT 2

Essay Assignment

Abdullah Alnasser

Barton County Community College

24th October 2014

The Upperhill River

The grass comes alive joyfully beneath my feet. The sun glows radiantly and the dew from the grass slowly evaporates into the air. However, the grass remains moist and fresh. The waters flow graciously leaving a soothing running sound as they go. The plants growing on the river’s banks flourish healthily and stand proudly in the sun. The birds sing harmoniously and happily in awe of the glamorous environment. The frogs leap in unison to the river banks to bathe in the sun. Even the fish in answer to the sun’s call occasionally appear to the surface of the water. The sun continues to shine majestically contented with the considerable impact it has to a new day.

An irritated lump grows steadily in my throat. The river’s waters grow darker the minute before my very eyes. I stop taking count of the number of garbage that has passed floating on the water. Oh! Someone has just thrown a plastic bag into the water from one of the buildings looming near the river. The sun glares loudly enough as if wanting to burn the garbage floating on the river. The frogs leap out of the water in protest. Even the birds chirpings seem to be in complain. The green plants near the river curl in hiding under the sun ashamed of growing from such dirty waters. The grass feels filthily wet beneath my feet. Water meant to clean looks anything but.

Rhetorical Analysis

The Upperhill River is a site that has been so far broken it hurts. The beauty that once lied beneath the murk present now is clearly visible as you walk along its banks and the gardens around it. If one can take the time to look beneath the trash, its beauty is still radiant. But is that inner beauty enough to cover the filth that covers it now? That’s the contrast.

I used the first phrases as overt statements like “the grass comes alive joyfully beneath my feet” to illustrate the glamorous view of the river in the positive description while the phrase “a lump grows steadily in my throat” too show the unwarranted disgust I felt near the river as the sight, smell and feel is not at all enticing. This draws the reader to the pleasantries in the first paragraph and the non-pleasantries in the second paragraph.

Once setting the boundaries between the two paragraphs using the beginning statements, I used the skill of omitting some information on the paragraphs that may cross the boundaries set. For example in the first paragraph, I hide the information about the presence of garbage in the water and also of buildings near the river as this would repaint the pleasant picture I wanted to paint. I also did not bring up the man who threw garbage in the water. This was in aim of portraying how the river and its environs looked naturally beautiful and not polluted by human development and practices near the river.

I used the skill of word choice to describe actions differently in the two paragraphs with respect to the mood aimed to be set in each. For example, the behavior of the sun is recorded differently in the two paragraphs. In the first paragraph, the sun “glows radiantly” and “shines majestically” enough such that animals and plants come out to bathe in it. However, in the second paragraph the sun “glares loudly” to show how angry and cruel it had become because of how the River has been polluted. The behavior of the animals is also depicted differently. While in the first paragraph, the frogs came out to “bathe in the sun” and the birds chirped “harmoniously and happily” in praise of the wonderful day, in the second paragraph the frogs came out “in protest” to escape the pollution in the river and the birds chirps were “in complain” also because of the polluted environment.

I used show and not-tell mechanism in the piece as well. Instead of telling the readers how beautiful the Upperhill River was, I showed them using the actions of the majestic sun, the rising of the plants, the happy behavior of the animals and the peaceful flow of the river itself. I also illustrated to the readers how badly the once very beautiful river had been polluted not by telling them but by showing them the floating garbage, the man in the buildings close to the river, the mocking sun and the complaining animals and plants.

I also used figurative language in the paragraphs. For example, I used personification in the phrase “the grass came alive beneath my feet” where the grass was given a personality. This phrase symbolized the freshness of the vegetation around the river especially in the morning. I also used personification to give lifelike characters to the sun. In the first description, the sun is depicted as “contented” at the positive effect its appearance has brought on the day while in the negative description, it “wants” to burn the garbage polluting the river.

Reflection

Through this assignment, I have been able to learn to illustrate effectively by showing the story and not telling the story. It has enabled me understand the significance of descriptive writing and appreciate them. Descriptive writing enables a writer have an eye for detail not only in writing but to other areas of life too.