Persuasive Paper Part 2: Solution and Advantages

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ENG 215 – Student Notes

Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1

Reviewer’sName:___________Jason_Cherry______________________________ Date:_____14 Nov 2014________

Writer’s Assigned #: _____1__________________________________

Course:_______________________Eng 215__________________________ Section: ___________

Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists

Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria expected in the paper. Follow these instructions:

1) Receive a classmate’s paper from your professor (in class if on-ground; by e-mail if online).

2) Copy the Peer Review Feedback Form from the Appendix.

3) Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for improvement on the feedback form.

Provide completed Peer Review Feedback Form and classmate’s paper to your professor. Note: On-ground students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor during the class meeting in which the paper is reviewed; online students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor via the Assignment Tab in the course shell.

Criteria	Comments + Strengths < Areas for Improvement
1	Provide an appropriate title and an interesting opening paragraph to appeal to your stated audience (appeal with logic, ethics, or emotion).	The title seems very appropriate to the subject matter being presented. It alerts the reader to topic as needed.	Perhaps a more catchy title to grab the readers interest would be appropriate. Something to the effect of “America’s taxation solution to address the rising issues caused by Alchohol & Tobacco.”
2	Include a defensible, relevant thesis statement in the first paragraph. (With revised thesis statement.)	The thesis addresses the argument in the opening paragraph with a solution to solve the issue.
3	Describe the history and status of the issue and provide an overview of the problem(s) that need to be addressed. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.	Topic seems to be addressed with both
4	Explain the first problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2)paragraphs.	Great work describing the issues caused by the leisure use of Alcohol and Tobacco.
5	Explain the second problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.). and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.	Writer addresses issues caused by usage of these products such as domestic abuse.
6	Explain the third problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.		Could use some examples of the issues caused by alcohol and smoking. Something more personal would really hit home with the reader.
7	Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences throughout the paper.	Writer has excellent transition words throughout the paper.
8	Provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes the stated problems and promises a solution.	The writer provides a concluding paragraph that addresses the solution to the reader.	The writer could revise the conclusion with stronger conclusion to address the issue. Such as “Alcohol companies and big tobacco need to properly warn the consumer of dangers of regular use or they will be subject to higher taxation by the Government.” Government intervention with higher taxes on these companies may present a solution to the health issues plaguing modern America.”
9	Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction, body, and conclusion.	Paper is well structured with all elements to include introduction, boy and conclusion.	Some sentence structure could be reworded throughout the assignment to flow better for the reader. For example the following sentence could be reworded: “It is unethical to enjoy your cigarette while blowing the smoke to other individuals.” Reworded sentence: “It is unethical for one to subject non-smokers to the dangers of second hand smoke.”
10	Support claims with at least three (3) quality, relevant references. Use credible, academic sources available through Strayer University’s Resource Center.	Writer uses relevant and recent references for the research paper.
11	Other		Sentence structure and wording could be a little better. Grammar usage and errors need a little work as well. Overall a good job!