Living Together Couples
The relationships between people are constantly changing due to the changes in the society. It concerns also such institution of a person's life as marriage. Recently, the role that marriage plays in our everyday life has been influenced by different new tendencies that were obvious in America during the last decades of years. The most important aspect, which the marriage in America has undergone, is actually the break of an idea that the marriage may not be split up. This is supported by the collected data that show that “only about half of Americans are married now” (America Now, 71). In fact, emotionally, spiritually, as well as physically, marriage is much more than “just a paper”- as couples that live together often claim. Statistics have shown that over 60 percent of lovers who initially live together do not end up getting married, while others show they face a higher risk of divorce! Although test-driving a car before buy it usually a wise idea, it does not exactly apply to marriage. “Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million” (Jay, Meg). Couples who choose not to cohabite are more likely to have a successful relation, while those who do are prone to failure due to their high standards, lack of love and commitment.
Despite the advantages of cohabiting, it practically kills true love. Those living together are said to lack the idea of having an actual relationship; due to the lack of love and the abundance of un-needed romance. Thus they are exposed to short-term relationships as romance becomes essential to the relationship and the couple soon loses the objective of their relationship. As a result, minor conflicts cause those so-called lovers to give up much more easily, because romance becomes more important than the relationship itself. Physical Affection should no play a major role in a couples’ love life because it will soon take over it. Although it is only logical for them to become closer with cohabitation, physical intimacy fools the couple into getting married, notwithstanding the absence of emotions shared.
As many have mentioned before, “Marriage is just a paper”, it truly does apply- however under different means. Couples are usually unclear once they decide to live together. Often, one side is committed more than the other, leading to a series of disappointment and frustration as they are continuously let down waiting for that ring. "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", this quote emphasizes the way commitment to marriage is lost once cohabitation is decided by the couple, which refers to the first point mentioned as well. Living together removes the excitement and rush one feels to propose, which is only logical as "a piece of paper" would not add anything unreachable in their relationship; everything that comes with marriage is already gained- but true marriage! With time the attraction that was once felt towards their partner vanishes as there is no longer a challenge and nor is it a stable marriage-based relationship. Some do not end up getting to the marriage phase, while others only get there because they are expected to, both as depressing.
Although living with your partner may reveal their good and bad habits, it certainly only gets real once those papers are signed. After the couple is married the true conflicts show up. Living together before marriage leads them to believe it is quite easy, causing each to have high standards, which are then disappointed by marriage. The couple is frightened with how challenging it gets as they are forced to compare it to how smooth it use to go before marriage. Marriage is a commitment and agreement to stay together through all the hardships, all the downs and falls, regardless. However that does not apply to living together, which is seen as a month-to-month rental agreement. Usually, unmarried couples who cohabite are bound to the thinking of being able to leave whenever they want and need to. As a result, that idea is attached to them even after they are married, which is extremely unhealthy to all relationships, making it unstable. Couples who have not lived together, do not hold any standards and are committed to begin their marriage life with a different, positive thinking, making them endure any rough times they face throughout their lives together.
In conclusion, the belief that cohabiting “makes a stable relationship,” has been shown to be extremely wrong as the lovers lose the excitement of marriage and the relationship either vanishes or stays as it is. Due to this, it also loses its tenderness and emotions and soon dies away. Couples should get to know each other and their habits without living together as it will only cause both sides to have different expectations and hopes. When positive, marriage will be a commitment that will last a lifetime, filled with love and satisfaction.