summarize
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NOSI]N NOIUNS HVIUVI^I
540 AMERICAN PARADOX
that their height threatens men. They want to win - to achieve, to reach new heights - but without exceeding male heights.
How can you win, if you're female? Can you just do it? No. You have to play the lemininity game. Femininity by delinition is not large, not imposing, not competitive. Feminine women are not ruthless, not aggressive, not victori- ous. It's not feminine to have a killer instinct, to want wilh all your heart and soul to win - neither tennis matches nor elected office nor feminist victories such as abortion rights. It's not leminine to know exactly what you want, then go for it.
Femininity is about appearing beautiful and vulnerable and small. It's about winning male approval.
One downhill skier who asked not to be identified told me the following story: "l love male approval. Most women skiers do. We talk about it often. There's only one thing more satisfying than one of the top male skiers saying, 'Wow, you are a great skier. You rip. You're awesome.'
"But it's so fun leaving 99 percent olthe world's guys in the dust-oops," she laughs. "l try not to gloat. I've learned something: If I kick guys' butts and lord it over them, they don't like me. If, however, I kick guys' butts then act 'like a girl; there is no problem. And I do mean girl, not woman. Nonthreatening."
Femininity is also about accommodating men, allowing them to feel big- ger than and stronger than and superior to women, not emasculated by them.
Femininity is unhealthy, obviously. It would be unhealthy for men to act passive, dainty, obsessed with their physical appearance, and dedicated to bolstering the sense ol superiority in the other gender, so it's unhealthy for women too. These days, some women are redefining femininity as strong, as athletic, as however a female happens to be, so that "feminine" becomes syn- onymous with "female." Other women reject both feminine and masculine terms and stereotypes, selecting from the entire range of human behaviors instead of limiting themselves to the "gender-appropriate" ones. These women smile only when they're happy, act angry when they're angry, dress how they want to. They cling to their self'respect and dignity like a life raft.
But most female winners play the lemininity game to some extent, using femininity as a defense, a shield against accusations such as bitch, man-hateq lesbian. Feminine behavior and attire mitigate against the affront of female victory, soften the hard edges ol winning. Women who want to win without losing male approval temper their victories with beauty, with softness, with smallness, with smiles.
In the fifties, at each of the Amateur Athletic Union's women's basketball championships, one of the players was crowned a beauty queen. (This still happens at Russian women's ice hockey tournaments.) Athletes in the All- American Girls Baseball League of the forties and fifties slid into base wearing skirts. In 1979, professional basketball players with rhe California Dreams were sent to John Robert Powers' charm school. Ed Temple, the legendary coach of the Tennessee State Tigerbelles, the team that produced Wilma Rudolph, Wyomia Tyus, Willye White, Madeline Manning, and countless orher
Sereno Will;or
champions, e "young ladies
Makeup. j coaches and c along, undersr had to demor ("feminine") r,,
Today, bor is still selling h almost every ir leminine dress
Florence G dedicate consic
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542 AMERICAN PARADOX
star Lisa Leslie has received more attention for being a model than for leading
the Americans ro olympic victory. Steffi Graf posed in bikinis for the 1997 Sports
Illustrated swimsuit issue. in a Sears commercial, Olympic basketball players
uppfy fiptti.k, paint their toenails, rock babies, lounge in bed' and pose and
danie in their underwear. Lisa Leslie says, "Everybody's allowed to be them-
selves. Me, for example' I'm very feminine'" In an Avon commercial, Jackie Joyner Kersee is shown running on a
beach while the camera lingers on her buttocks and breasts. She tells us that
she can bench-press 150 po-unds and brags that she can jump farther than "all
but 128 men.,, Then she says: ..And I have red toenails.,' Words flash on the
screen: .,Just another Avon tidy." Crat, Mary Pierce, Monica Seles, and MaryJo
Fernandez have all played in iresses. They are "so much more comfortable"
than skirts, Fernandez'explained. "You don't have to worry about the shirt
Coming up or the skirt being too tight. It,s cooler, and ic's so feminine.'' ,.WhenlputonadresslfeeLdifferent.-morefeminine,moreelegant,
more ladylike-and that's nice," added Australia's Nicole Bradtke: "we're in a
sport whlre we,re throwing ourselves around, so it's a real assel to the game
to be able to look pretty at the same time'"
Athletes have become gorgeous, flirtatious, elegant, angelic, darlin$-and zo
the skating commentators' iavorite term: "vulnerable." Some think this is good
n"*r, proif that femininity and sports are compatible. "There doesn't have to be suc-h a complete division between 'You',re beautiful and sexy' and
'you're
athletic and stron$J ,'
says Linda Hanley, a pro beach volleyball player who also
appeared in a bikini in the 1 997 Sports lllustrated swimsuit issue.
Athletes and adverrisers reassure viewers that women who compete are
srill willing to play the femininiry game, to be cheerleaders. Don't worry about
us, rhe .o*r*riiatr imply. We;re winners but we'll still look pretty for you' We,re acting in ways thai only men used to act but we'll still act how you
want women to act. We're not ihreatening. We're not lesbians. We're not u$ly,
not bad marriage material. we're strong but feminine. Linguists note that the
word "but" negates the part ol the sentence that precedes it'
ThereareSomerecentexamplesofthemediaemphasizin$femalepower in an unambi$uous way. "women Muscle In," the New York Times Magazine
proclaimed in a headline. The washington Posf wrote, "At olympics, women
bhow their Strength." And a new genre of commercials protests that female
athletes are NOT cheerleaders, and don't have lo be. olympic and pro basket-
ball star Dawn Staley says in a Nike commercialthat she plays basketball "lor
the competitiveness" of it. "t need some place to release it. It just builds up,
and sports is a great outlet for it. I started out playing with the guys. I wasn't
always u.."pt"J. you get criticized, like: 'You need to be in the kitchen. Go put on a skirtl I ;ust got mad and angry and went out to show
them that I
belong here as much as theY do." other commercials tell us that women can compete like conquerors. A Nike
ad called "wolves" shows girls leaping and spiking volleyballs while a voice
says, .,They are not sisters. ih"y u." not classmates. They are not friends. They
are nr Thoq this cr ol tht throul be lac
B femal lier sil our sit
D lemal the ec snealr
-or I eightir "Funn
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544 AMERICAN PARADOX
Nearly 75 percent of the viewers of televised skating are women. The average ug" it b"t*"en twenty-five and forty-five years old, with a household income oitnor" than fifty thousand dollars. What are these women watching? What are they seeing? What's the appeal?
t-ike golf, rennis, and gymnastics, figure skating is an individual sport :o
lavored by white people from the upper classes. The skaters wear cosmetics,
frozen smiles, and revealing dresses. Behind the scenes they lilt wei$hts and sweat like any serious athlete, but figure skating seems more dance than
sport, more giace than guts, more art than athleticism. Fi$ure skating allows
women to compete like champions while dressed like cheerleaders.
In women's ligure skating, smiling is part of "artistic expression." In the final
round, if the competitors are of equal merit, artistry weighs more heavily than
technique. Midori lto, the best jumper in the history of women's skating, ex- plained a weak showing at the 1995 world championships this way: "l wasn't 100 p"r."nt satisfied. . . . I probably wasn't smiling enough'"
The media portray lemale figure skaters as "little girl dancers" or "fairy
tale princesses" (NBC commentator John Tesh); as "elegant" (Dick Button), as ,,linle angels" (Peggy flemin$); as "ice beaulies" and "ladies who lutz" (People
magazine;. Commentators frame skaters as small, young, and decorative crea-
tures, not superwomen but fairy-tale figments of someone's imagination.
After Kerrigan was assaulted by a member of Tonya Harding's entourage,
she was leatured on a Sporls lllustrated cover cryin$ "Why me?" When she
recovered to win a silver medal at the Olympics that year, she became "Amer-
ica's sweetheart" and rich to boot. But the princess turned pumpkin shortly
after midnight, as soon as the ball was over and she stopped smiling and
srarred speaHlng. Growing impatient during the olympic medal ceremony while everyone waited for Baiul, Kerrigan grumbled, "oh, give me a break, she's just going to cry out there again. What's the difference?"
What were Kerrigan's crimes? She felt too old lo cavort with cartoon charac-
ters. ISn't she? She expressed an$er and disappointment-even bitterness and
bad sportsmanship - about losing the gold. But wasn't she supposed to want to
win? what happens to baseballplayers who, disappointed about a loss, hit each
orher or spir on umpires? What happens to basketball players and football play-
ers and hockey players who fight? Men can't tumble from a princess palace
because we don't expect them to be princesses in the first place, only athletes.
Americans fell out of love with Kerri$an not because they couldn't adore :: an athlete who lacked grace in defeat, but because they couldn't adore a female athlete who lacked grace in defeat.
Female politicians, lawyers, and businesswomen of all ethnic groups also
play the femininity game. Like tennis players in short dresses, working women seem to believe it's an asset to look pretty (but not too pretty) while throwing themselves around. The female apologetic is alive and well in corpo-
rate boaid rooms, where women say "l'm sorry, maybe someone else already stated this idea, but . . ." and smile while they say it.
When referred to pink suit ; image." Sh femininin,
So if vr play by spt ous, but in modating- And not ac
Relone rr
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2. Nelson this ope
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Rrlolne tl 1. Warch a
ing the evidencr the cont
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