Proff. VenaWells only please

Problem statement

The numbers in blue refer to my corrections page found in the writing folder.

The problem of border security is a sore wound in the American policy making for a while now. Policy makers and law makers alike have been under constant pressure to pass laws and draft policies that will deal with the issue once and for all yet the shortfall increases. In the recent scheme of things, a humanitarian crisis on the U.S-Mexican south east border has been the center of focus for politicians and observers alike. New ¶ Opposing sides on the issue have argued that there is need for border security to be revamped on one side while those in charge of implementing and enforcing homeland security policies argue that border security is adequate. If the recent crisis of abandoned and undocumented children attempting to cross the border from Central America is anything to go by, there is enough ground to call for better policy making to address the issue wholesomely (Boozman, 2014). This is to avoid further strain on the border security enforcement resources, which culminate into a failed justice system, as well as, a compromised Homeland Security.

The perennial problem at the south east U.S Mexican border has become a melting point of the American politics. Despite the deployment of sophisticated technology in the form of sensors, motion detectors, and cameras among others the problem continues to persist. The greatest fear is in the spillover of violent crimes such as homicides, drug trade and increase in illegal immigrants into the U.S. for more than two decades the question remains whether the threats can be neutralized effectively. New ¶ The tradition in border security management is to increase and improve security in centers with large population and potential target areas for terrorists. This is the duty of US Customs and Border Protection Security (CBP), (9) however, (35) some elements of border security have eluded the noose of this agency. Despite the doubled manpower and employment of sophisticated software in border management illegal immigrants still find their way into the US. The question that therefore lingers is the approach in border security the appropriate one? And? Proposals don’t ask questions, the proposal lays out the answers to any questions you had going into the initial research, or if a question is critical to lay out, one then lays out how it will be answered.

The current situation

You should be aware of this and when proofing your paper keep an eye out for such usage. Then you can either develop better transitions, develop ideas fully into new paragraphs, put the idea in a footnote, or delete altogether. Most of the time the overuse of also, etc. detract from the quality of the work. there seems to be lack of proper coordination of activities between the groups involved in border security. As a result coordination needs to be improved. New ¶ On the same note, there is a need to expand rapid response of the agency. The personnel issue could be improved by reinforcement of the existing personnel by National Guard (Steinmetz, 2011). Since there are controls of deployment of the National Guard on U.S soil the best approach would be to overturn these laws. New ¶ Another way of dealing with the issue is to work closely with the local law enforcement agencies in gathering and sharing of information. The CBP could build capacity in the local agencies by further training and equipping the agencies with modern technology. This could drive the war on organized crime and illegal immigration a notch higher.

New ¶ Response time is another way CBP can improve response to illegal border penetration. To achieve this CBP should facilitate the accelerated construction of outposts in remote areas along the borders (Steinmetz, 2011). New ¶ The support of swift local response teams would also assist in quick apprehension of detected threats. This approach is similar to the one in use today only that it is more profound and practical in approach.

The problem of economics of border security has also come into the limelight. Some have argued that the costly affair of erecting the secure fence is draining the economic resources of the country. On the same note, ethical and environmental concerns have been raised concerning the secure fence. New ¶ One notable challenge is the cost of the materials used to construct the fences. This factor has significantly lowered the speed implementing the construction of the fence. Initially the project did not capture the increase in costs of the project especially due to the needs of increased personnel and technology. CBP should therefore reassess the cost of the advanced secure fence in its efforts to address the border security.

The other aspect With the use of “another,” “Also,” and “other,” you have quite a few aspects. You may be trying to do too much. of the issue that perhaps remains untouched is economics. Failure of implementing effective border security has a negative impact on the economic welfare of the country (Mcneill, 2009). New ¶ A better policy that could improve border security while maintaining the economic wellbeing of the country is Security and prosperity partnership. This is a forum that brings together the U.S, Canada and Mexico. This partnership can help improve the economic wellbeing of the partner countries without compromising the sovereignty of either (Mcneill, 2009). This means that the livelihoods of the Mexicans will improve thereby eliminating the need for them to illegally enter America. This source indicates a program that is now five years old, or that was suggested five years ago. Is the program active, effective, or not?

Conclusion

It would seem that the shortfalls experienced in the border security management could be addressed by multifaceted policies. These are policies that focus and bring together the separate aspects of current efforts to step up border securities. Such a policy should therefore capture sophisticated technology, increased manpower with adequate training, secure fence, state-federal government partnership as well as bilateral economic activities. In the combination of the above elements, lies the solution to deteriorating border security. In any paper a single paragraph is not sufficient to draw lessons and takeaway. For a proposal a conclusion is not needed for the proposal but rather what you hope or intend to learn and takeaway as conclusions.

Rich,

This is a good topic, but I hope you have a specific conclusion in mind. It goes without saying you will learn something as will the reader. But knowing something is not a purpose of an academic paper.

You had more of an essay here than a proposal, however, this is not uncommon and some writers need this to get started. Good writers often go through several revisions before the writer is satisfied with the result. Students seem to think it is a one-time shot. But one has to start somewhere, and you have done the hard part, getting your initial thoughts down.

What you need to do now is rethink what you have. You are trying to cover way too much in too little time and relied too much on outside sources. A proposal for undergrad and even most grad papers do not require documentation as it is your words and ideas that are being developed to lay out your problem or issue that will be addressed, what you believe the key points are to start, and what you initially hope to learn and takeaway.

All of which might require modification as you go, but you need a good starting point to assure you research what you need, not stumble upon sufficient work. I don’t want a superficial treatment of a wide-ranging topic.

What you suggest in your last paragraph is much too much to be done in an nine week paper that is now down to about five weeks to research and write. Presuming you have done some research as indicated by the references below, you are still in good stead. But you need to find the focus for the paper and that begins with what you hope to learn and takeaway in the conclusion.

So this is a good first step for you, but as the proposal is a tool to help you focus your research, you need to identify the lessons you hope to learn and the recommendations or solutions you will have, or hope to have, based on the lessons.

I want to iterate this: Then you can focus your research so you can get what you need, not hope to stumble upon sufficient material based on a general searches or key words that often lull one into thinking one has done sufficient work.

It is the conclusion that allows you to focus on the multiple sources you will need to fully develop each issue, discuss and develop argument, leading to your conclusion. This way you focus on what you need, not hope what you find will be sufficient.

Any issues or problems raised and discussed in the body, must be dealt with in the conclusion. Conversely any issue solved, or dealt with in the conclusion must be fully developed and laid out in the body. And your introduction introduces both what the paper deals with, and what it accomplished. The proposal which is your working introduction, should serve as your final introduction, once redrafted.

Any issues or problems raised and discussed in the body, must be dealt with in the conclusion. Conversely any issue solved, or dealt with in the conclusion must be fully developed and laid out in the body. And your introduction introduces both what the paper deals with, and what it accomplished. The proposal which is your working introduction, should serve as your final introduction, once redrafted.

The conclusion is the purpose of the paper supported by the evidence you provide, not the facts themselves. What are the lessons; what do you hope to recommend or offer as a solution? Remember you must fully develop each issue you raise.

Be sure to think through your conclusion so you choose the examples, data, and direct quotes you need to help make your points. Don't rely on too few sources either. There is a tremendous amount of material available, pick the best to support your paper, use direct quotes to enhance the paper and support the ideas you make, and be sure to use the best data as you can and corroborate your information as well.

Be sure to utilize the Electronic Library and Proquest from the online LRC, as well as other LRC resources. Be sure to seek primary or original documentation as well. Use secondary sources to lead you to primary sources. And be sure to corroborate your data. There are many LRC databases that have articles not found on the web itself, to include transcripts which may be very valuable resources for you in general, but provide unique direct quotes to support ideas you will want to express.

Be sure to use primary and original sources where you can. Use your secondary sources to cue you to other sources to include primary and original sources. And always corroborate ideas and data, and use multiple sources to assure you are covering the topic well, and can find appropriate quotes to enhance you work.

I don’t need to see this again, however, I do encourage you to revise this based on my comments for your own edification. If you do want me to review it, and comment further, I will be happy to do so.

8.9

References