two projects (2)

The first step in beginning to write is to think of yourselves as writers—not necessarily easy to do. Many view the act of writing as mysterious and think successful writers have lucked into their talent. But, just like you, accomplished writers have to work hard at their craft. They can be confused at first, uncertain about where their ideas will come from. Often they produce some genuinely bad writing in their early drafts and agonize over the final shape of their words—and what others will think of the work.

Whatever your past experiences with writing, you share in the common experience of everyone who seeks to commit words to paper. When you write, be it a brief paragraph or long essay, you are a writer, with all the hard work, the aggravation, and the satisfaction that come with it.

How do writers get started? To focus your efforts, ask yourself several questions.

Key Study Skills

1. Listen carefully in class, ask questions, and take notes, especially when your instructor writes on the chalkboard, uses the overhead projector, or posts information online.

2. Take handouts home to study or complete.

3. Participate fully in class activities and discussion.

4. Pay attention to any instructions your instructor gives you to clarify writing projects in this text.

5. Study the textbook’s student models for further guidance.

Hint

These key study skills will help you understand every writing assignment.

We all have gone through steps to produce written paragraphs and essays, so we all have a writing process. For some of us, that process has worked well; for others . . . not so well. The rest of this chapter explains the writing approach many of us already unconsciously use. However, the writing process varies with individuals, and you should freely adapt it to what works best for you.

Gathering and shaping ideas and putting words on paper are a natural sequence for most of us, but writers seldom move through this process like a train moving on a track, beginning at one point and progressing to the final destination. In fact, you will often find yourself brainstorming for ideas in the middle of a paper, editing as you notice an error, and sometimes substantially reorganizing when the work seemed nearly complete.

The Writing Process

1. Discover ideas

2. Organize ideas

3. Draft

4. Revise

5. Edit

6. Proofread

How many times have you been faced with a writing project and found that you have nothing to say? It is a common, frustrating occurrence. Instead of smacking your keyboard or simply giving up, why not try one or several of the following methods for discovering ideas?

Freewriting is rapid, uncensored writing. Fast drafting or freewriting lets you get ideas on paper—some of which may be usable. To practice this method, set aside time—say, 5 to 10 minutes—and write nonstop, without censoring ideas or worrying about grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Even if you run out of thoughts, keep writing or typing.

If you have no idea of what to write, freewriting can help you uncover ideas. Freewriting for this purpose may begin with or include sentences like the following:

English Review Note

While freewriting, don’t worry about grammatical errors. Leave a blank if you can’t think of a word in English.

Hint

Focused freewrites can give your writing direction.

Keep producing words even when you do not seem to be getting anywhere. Although no one has been able to explain why, the mere act of writing triggers more words and, often, usable ideas. Then, with a topic in hand, you can try focused freewriting—uncensored writing on a general topic:

In this freewrite, the author discovers several ideas for a descriptive paper. The backyard, the tree house, or the author’s former house might make interesting subjects to explore.

Select a topic from the list below and write nonstop on it for 5 minutes. Remember, don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation or whether ideas get tangled.

Clustering is another good prewriting technique. With this method you write a single word in the center of a page and then jot down around it any words it brings to mind. After linking several words to the original word, you connect more words to the second set. Keep extending your network of linked words until you find a grouping that seems interesting.

If the author wanted to select the “home” cluster to begin a more focused cluster, the next step might look like this:

Now the author has arrived at the tree house as a possible topic for his description paragraph. He might choose to cluster again for specific details, or he might try another method for generating ideas, like brainstorming or listing.

Select a topic from the list in Activity 1.1 (or continue with the one you have already chosen), and create a focused cluster like the one preceding. Work for 5 minutes, trying to fill a page with word associations.

In brainstorming, either by yourself or with others, you list in a word or phrase every idea that occurs to you when you think about a general topic. If we extended the tree house topic from the clustering activity, we might end up with a list like this:

If we focus the list, we can concentrate primarily on generating the specific words and sensory details that make up a good description. (For more on description, see Chapter 5.)

Hint

Try a focused brainstorming list to generate details about your topic.

After you have created a list that is somewhat focused, you will likely have a rough outline that you can use to develop or rearrange ideas.

Choose a new topic from the list in Activity 1.1 (or use the topic you have already chosen), and create a list of descriptive phrases that apply to it. Include words that help you visualize the place or that suggest sound, touch, taste, or smell.

Hint

Journalist’s questions provide the framework for news articles, especially the lead paragraphs.

After you have a fairly clear idea of your writing topic, you can ask yourself the classic journalist’s questions who, what, when, where, and why. You should also add how and what was the result. To continue with our tree house example:

Select a topic from the list in Activity 1.1 (or continue with the one you have been working with), and create a list of answers to the preceding questions.

Another way to generate material for your paper is to turn the patterns of development into questions and then apply them to your topic.

· Narration: telling a brief story to make a point

· What kind of story could I tell to show my reader the tree house?

· Description: using vivid details to paint a picture

· What details do I remember that could help my reader visualize the tree house?

· Illustration: giving examples to illustrate some point

· What examples could I give to explain the importance of the tree house?

· Comparison/contrast: showing how your subject is like and unlike similar subjects

· What could I compare or contrast the tree house to that my reader would know?

· Classification/division: putting your subject into a group, breaking it into parts

· What group does the tree house fit into? What are the parts of the tree house?

· Cause/effect: telling what actions can affect your subject and what effects can flow from it

· How did the tree house come about? What were its effects on me?

· Process analysis: telling how your subject works

· How did the tree house work? What regular activities did I do there?

· Definition: telling the essential characteristics of your subject

· What makes the tree house unique?

· Persuasion: trying to convince someone to agree with you or to perform some action

· How could I persuade my reader of the value a tree house can have for a child?

Select a topic from the list in Activity 1.1 (or continue with the one you have been working with), and create a list of questions like the ones preceding. Next, answer each question in a sentence or two.

If you’ve chosen a topic but aren’t sure how to focus it, try a quick online search for relevant images, articles, quotations, and sites that will get you thinking. As you go, note URLs you might want to return to later. This prewriting method can provide quick inspiration, but limit your browsing time to 5–10 minutes; otherwise, it may prove more distracting than helpful. As shown in the following pages, a Wikipedia search on tree houses might remind the student writer of his experience building the tree house with his brother. Looking at the images and following links to other, more focused sites could serve to trigger memories and give the writer ideas to focus on. Note: Wikipedia is a great place to start your browsing search, but because the site’s content can be updated by any user, be sure to double-check the information presented here.

Using Wikipedia or a search engine, such as Google, choose a key word or words from your focused freewrite (in Activity 1.1) or cluster (in Activity 1.2). What sites do you find, and are they interesting and relevant to your topic? If so, how might they help you focus or further explore it? Limit your browsing to under 10 minutes.

A journal or blog in which you write for a few minutes every day can be a good general source of ideas. If you decide to keep a personal journal (paper or online), or your instructor assigns one, this additional daily writing can give you valuable practice in organizing and expressing your thoughts. You can also gain some insights into yourself and the world around you.

The suggestions for Journal/Blog entries that appear throughout Units Two and Three can help you complete major writing assignments. If you respond to them thoughtfully, the entries you write will help you discover, focus, organize, and develop your ideas. Remember, your ideas are what count most. While it is never a bad idea to edit your work (even in your journals), grammar, spelling, and punctuation should be a low priority. The Feedback component provides opportunities for collaborative thinking and input at all stages of the writing process.

While we sometimes write only for ourselves, more often we write for others. These “others” may be a relatively general audience, or they may be quite specific. And we may direct our work toward several kinds of readers, often a more specific group within a larger secondary audience. When you consider a writing topic, you will usually find that knowing who you are writing to will help you generate and select interesting ideas.

If you were describing an action/adventure film like Armageddon to two friends—one a sci-fi fan and one who prefers more serious, “literary” films—which of the following two paragraphs would you be likely to use with each friend?

Hint

Let what you know about your audience help focus your material.

Hint

While much of your writing will appeal to a fairly large “general” audience, within it you will usually be able to appeal to a smaller group.

Clearly, the details in version A should capture the attention of the sci-fi fan while the details in version B should interest the friend who favors more serious films. Writers must constantly generate details and then select the ones that will interest their particular readers.

If you develop a sense of your audience, you are more likely to write in an engaging way—and come closer to enjoying the process of the writing.

Assume that you have rented the film The Wizard of Oz for the evening and are trying to persuade two friends to watch it with you. One friend doesn’t mind children’s stories but thinks a 60-year-old movie will be boring. The other friend doesn’t like children’s stories but does like horror and supernatural films. List three points you could make or examples you might choose to convince each of your friends to watch the movie with you. (If you have not seen The Wizard of Oz, choose any film you have enjoyed, list two friends who might not like it for different reasons, and then list three examples/points that would help persuade each person.)

If you have tried prewriting, you should have some ideas for your paper. Before moving ahead, though, you must decide on a central point—a rough topic sentence for a paragraph or a working thesis sentence for an essay. Your topic or thesis sentence should consist of your topic plus a statement that expresses an opinion, attitude, or feeling about it. For instance, in the tree house description, the author might want to focus on enjoyment:

Once you have a central point, you could just plunge into the draft, writing furiously and hoping for the best. Sometimes this approach works well, especially if the material falls into a natural order or if you happen to have a “feel” for the best organizing method. Often, though, you will not be sure what to do with all the words in front of you. In that situation, you need to reconsider your purpose (to entertain, explain, or persuade), review the assignment instructions for suggestions, and try some informal or formal outlining.

Hint

Help focus your paper with a central point.

A rough outline usually consists of a simple list of ideas. For example, if you chose to describe a place, you might try a spatial method for organizing (moving from one side to another, inside to outside, top to bottom, or front to back) and then create a rough or “scratch” outline. After reviewing the brainstorming lists for the tree house example (see pp. 7–8), the author might choose to arrange the descriptive details about the tree house from bottom to top, creating the following rough outline:

Once this structure is set, the writer can add more details from the brainstorming list or from additional brainstorming, such as the chalky smell of the brick, the rough feel of the bark, and the deep yellow of the rope.

Hint

To see a detailed informal outline for an essay, turn to Chapter 12.

Look back at your list from Activity 1.4 and rearrange the examples/details, moving from one side of your place to another, inside to outside, top to bottom, or front to back.

English Review Note

Review carefully the organization of formal outlines in English.

Formal outlines have numbered and lettered categories and subcategories. They are particularly useful for longer writing projects, such as essays. Here is the pattern of a formal outline:

Thesis Statement (Controlling Idea of Essay)

(This pattern continues for the length of the essay.)

Hint

Use a formal outline to help plan an essay.

With the ideas and details you have discovered in hand and the overall shape of your paper determined, you can confidently begin the first draft.

Hint

Remember that more drafts will come.

In a paragraph, describe your ideal work space.

© Steven S. Miric/SuperStock

Before jumping into the writing, consider your surroundings. If you feel comfortable working in a noisy environment, any environment will probably work for you. If you need quiet to concentrate, though, find a place where you will not be disturbed. Set aside ample time to complete your writing goal; perhaps 30 minutes is enough, or perhaps several hours. Then decide what you need to be comfortable: soft music, a window, a glass of juice, a relaxing chair. Are you more productive curled up in bed, or do you get more done in the computer lab? Create an environment that will help you work efficiently.

As you begin to write, focus on your main idea (topic or thesis sentence), purpose, and audience. The goal of the first draft is to create material for the coming revisions, so grammar, spelling, and punctuation should not be major concerns (though writers occasionally backtrack to correct minor errors as they go). Focus on getting ideas on paper. If you continually stop writing and then start again, you can lose your train of thought and end up with unity problems. However, rereading your work in progress, especially for content, can also keep you connected to each unfolding idea.

Try to keep at your work for the scheduled time, but feel free to go beyond the time limit if the words are coming easily. Resist the impulse to be negative about the draft. There will be ample time to look more critically at your writing later. Finally, if you have difficulty resuming a draft in a new writing session, try leaving an idea or even a sentence unfinished and then beginning at that point.

Solutions for Breaking Out of Writer’s Block

1. Return to your central point. Be sure you have written out a rough topic or working thesis sentence at the top of the page, and reread it frequently as you compose.

2. Try any of the discovery methods discussed in this chapter.

3. Talk to yourself on paper. Begin a written “conversation” about your writing problem.

4. Talk to yourself out loud, or speak with another person. Often, simply verbalizing things can help you clarify a fuzzy idea or give you a new direction.

5. Read what others have written. A Writer’s Workshop offers many models for your assignments. See how other writers have solved the problems you face.

6. To get around the “perfection syndrome” that sometimes freezes writers, let yourself produce clunky, awkward sentences. You might be surprised at how many usable ideas and even sentences result.

7. If you are writing an essay and the introduction is a problem, start writing the body paragraphs. If your first body paragraph is not working, move on to the next.

8. Take a break. Sometimes a 10-minute trip to the kitchen is just what you need. Other times you may need a break of a day or so, thinking about the paper occasionally to let the ideas sort themselves out.

Hint

In drafting, keep self-criticism to a minimum.

Hint

If you are a fast writer but find that your draft is becoming scattered, slow down and reflect. If you typically write slowly, try freewriting to speed the process up.

Following the “Breaking Out of Writer’s Block Solutions,” select one of the topics you have developed so far, write a topic sentence to focus it, and then write a rough draft of 200 to 300 words.

There are many advantages to drafting on the computer instead of on paper; you can avoid unnecessary waste and work. Typing your draft means that you won’t have to transfer your thoughts from one medium to the other later. It’s also easier to revise on the screen than on paper, where scratched out words make a passage difficult to read.

Unlike drafting, revising requires a more critical (but not negative) frame of mind and a willingness to look closely at your work, knowing that it can be improved. As you rework your draft, by yourself and with others, you will be looking to add, shift, and delete material.

Very little about revision is easy; in fact, it may be the hardest part of the writing process. To revise effectively, you need to learn what problem areas to look for, gain insight into what you want to say, and let go of words and sentences that aren’t working. Sometimes you will even need to throw out that first rough draft and start over. If you want to see your writing improve, you must join the many professional writers who may moan and groan as they revise, but who do so until they shape a product they can be proud of.

Hint

Remember not to be overly concerned with grammar, spelling, or punctuation at this point; save that for editing.

After giving the draft some time to “cool off” (try for at least a day), remind yourself again of your purpose and audience, and look closely at your topic or thesis sentence. Taken as a whole, does your paper seem to grow from your main point? Jot down any reactions you have, positive or negative, and then reread the draft, following this list of priorities:

Hint

Revision = adding, cutting, and rearranging material.

Revision Priority Checklist

1. Content: The content of your work is the most important feature.

Check your ideas for clarity: Can you and other readers understand your point?

Be sure you have enough examples and details to convey your meaning and satisfy readers’ curiosity.

Check for unnecessary points, examples, or details—anything that is repetitive or will distract readers from the central idea.

2. Organization: Make sure readers can follow your ideas.

Check your topic or thesis sentence to see if it still clearly guides readers.

Review the overall organizational pattern. If you chose a spatial arrangement, for instance, make sure you have been consistent in ordering details.

Look closely at how your sentences and paragraphs flow together. If transitions or other connectors are needed, use them.

Check your ending: Does it link to the main point of your paper and leave readers with something to reflect on?

3. Style: Word choice and arrangement can make writing easy or difficult to follow.

What words are not working well?

Is your meaning fuzzy?

Do you repeat words unnecessarily?

Do you have enough variety in the length, type, and beginnings of your sentences?

Where can you tighten sentences, eliminating words that serve no purpose?

4. Mechanics: The last element to check in your paper is mechanics—grammar, spelling, and punctuation. When you move into more polished drafts, you will edit out mechanical errors that keep you from communicating clearly.

As you practice revising, you will get better at it. Moving slowly through your drafts and focusing on one category to revise at a time will make this process more manageable.

What if you have tried to revise by yourself in the past without much luck? Fortunately, in your writing class, you will have the help of fellow students and your instructor. In each chapter of this book, Working Together activities provide specific opportunities for collaborative learning, writing, and revising.

To profit most from collaborative work, you should be open to constructive criticism. Although none of the students in your group is an English teacher, you don’t have to be an expert to respond to another’s draft. Simply letting a student author know that an idea is unclear or that a paragraph seems to be drifting can be invaluable.

Each assignment chapter in this book gives advice on discovering ideas, organizing, drafting, and beginning to revise. Also, the revision chapters, 4 and 14, offer step-by-step suggestions for improving your drafts. However, for some general suggestions to make group revising productive, read through the following lists:

Hint

Use constructive criticism to help you revise. You don’t have to be an English whiz to help others.

1. In a sentence or two at the top of your draft, specify your audience and purpose.

2. Tell your reader your main point.

3. Direct the reader to any part of the paper you have specific concerns about—for example, “I’m not sure about my topic sentence. Does it tell you what I think is the main point?” or “Do you think I might have too many details about sound in the first half of the paragraph?”

4. After your paper has been read, listen carefully to the reader’s responses, and then ask for clarification of any comments you didn’t understand.

5. Do not let a reader overwhelm you. Be selective in the advice you follow. Have several other readers comment on suggestions for revision, especially if a suggestion feels wrong for your paper.

1. Ask about the audience, purpose, and main point.

2. Read the draft quickly and tell what you liked or thought the author did well.

3. Answer any questions the author has about the draft.

4.

5. Share your honest reactions with the author. But remember, neither of you should expect the other to be the “teacher.” Your job is simply to give the best response you can as you understand the assignment requirements.

6. Remember to role-play the designated audience as you read, and respond as you think that person or group would.

Get together with one or more group members and trade drafts. Using the preceding lists, offer each other comments and suggestions that will help you produce better-developed and more clearly written drafts.

After revising your paper several times for material, organization, and style, it’s time to focus on mechanics—grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Hopefully, hearing the word grammar doesn’t make your eyes glaze over or the sweat start to trickle. The object of editing is simply to make your writing more readable, to help readers better understand and enjoy your ideas.

One goal of this text is to help you solve most of your problems with grammar, punctuation, and spelling. So don’t despair. Even if you think that you’ll never figure out where all the commas and other “stuff” go, you will learn most of what you need to know to write clearly and correctly by the end of the term.

Hint

Concentrate on your most serious errors first.

The following are some pointers for effective editing:

How to Edit

1. Go slowly, stopping often. When you edit, you will tend to see whole word groups as you are used to seeing them, rather than how they actually appear on the page. Your mind will fill in the blanks for missing words, register a there as their, or create or eliminate pauses for commas in an unpredictable fashion.

To help you concentrate, try putting your finger below each word of your printed draft. Go line by line, stopping frequently at the end of completed thoughts. If you are not sure about a possible mistake, write a question mark and continue. But don’t simply ignore it, hoping the problem will go away. It won’t.

2. Read through your paper many times, each time focusing on just a few kinds of errors.

3. Begin an Improvement Chart after your instructor hands back your diagnostic writing sample. List your most common errors in the Improvement Chart at the back of this book. This list will help you track and then correct them. Does it make more sense to memorize all the rules in a 500-page handbook or to figure out the handful of mistakes that cause you the most problems?

4. Use the handbook section in this text (Unit Five) and a supplemental handbook if your instructor requires one. As you write papers, your instructor will mark many errors, some of which will be pattern errors. The handbooks give examples of such errors and show how to correct them.

5. Allow enough time for others to review your work with you: classmates, friends, family members, writing center tutors, and your composition instructor.

6. Word process your draft. Errors are generally more noticeable on a cleanly word processed page than on a handwritten one, and you have the advantage of using spell and grammar checkers.

Unit Five examines problems with grammar, spelling, and punctuation in detail, but the following list will give you an overview of common errors:

Hint

Try covering the line that follows the one you are editing, to keep your eyes from jumping ahead as you work.

Hint

Learn your pattern errors. See Activity 1.13.

English Review Note

Your peers—particularly those who work in the writing center—can be a great editing resource. If English isn’t your first language, ask a native speaker to help you edit your work.

Major Categories of Mechanical Errors

1. Grammar

1. Subject/verb agreement (pp. 560–565)

2. Verb tense shift (pp. 559–560)

3. Correct verb form (pp. 553–560)

4. Pronoun agreement (pp. 570–572)

5. Pronoun shift (pp. 575–577)

6. Pronoun case (pp. 573–575)

7. Pronoun reference (pp. 568–570)

8. Parallelism (pp. 537–539)

9. Misplaced and dangling modifiers (pp. 582–584)

2. Punctuation

1. Run-on sentences/comma splices (pp. 541–546)

2. Sentence fragments (pp. 546–551)

3. Unnecessary commas (pp. 596–597)

4. Commas to introduce main clauses (pp. 588–590)

5. Commas to enclose nonessential words or set them off at the end of main clauses (pp. 590–592)

6. Commas to divide main clauses (pp. 592–594)

3. Words

1. Spelling (pp. 606–616)

2. Sound-alike and look-alike words (pp. 610–616)

3. Wrong words (pp. 478–481, 491–497)

4. Missing words (p. 68)

5. Capitalization (pp. 600–601)

Proofreading is your final step. After you have closely edited your most recent draft and caught all the mechanical errors possible, print out a copy of the final version, the one you plan to turn in for a grade. You might think that this version is as polished as you can make it. But chances are this draft still contains problems that you can catch and correct—before your instructor does.

How to Proofread and Prepare Your Final Manuscript

1. Check for typographical errors such as misspelled, run-together, and omitted words. Often, when fixing errors in the editing stage, writers slip up in small ways on the keyboard. Be sure to spell check once again.

2. Check the following items carefully: font size (12 point), line spacing (double space), margins (1 inch), and title. Remember to capitalize all words in the title, even small ones like is and do, except articles (a, an, the), prepositions (of, in, to, etc.), and coordinating conjunctions (and, but, so, etc.). If articles, prepositions, or conjunctions begin or end a title or follow a colon, however, capitalize them.

3. Spell check any additional required material, such as outlines. Staple or paperclip your pages. Avoid putting the paper in a plastic sleeve, which most instructors consider a nuisance.

Proofread your paper and hand it in to your instructor. Be sure to read your teacher’s comments and corrections carefully when he or she returns the paper, and then list all errors on your Improvement Chart.

You will use some variation of the writing process for every paper assignment in college, including those in this class. Use this chapter as a reference when working on future paragraphs and essays. Remember that even experienced writers benefit from idea clusters, outlines, collaborative revision, and careful proofreading.

Before you begin any of the assignments below, review this chapter’s advice on discovering ideas, organizing, and drafting. Try at least one prewriting method, and aim to write a single paragraph of 200 to 300 words. After you have a revised draft in hand, be sure to edit and proofread it carefully.

Hint

Because your instructor may ask for them, save your prewriting and organizing notes so you can turn them in along with your draft.

Describe a room that you are familiar with and comfortable in. If you can visit the room (e.g., a room in your home), you might try listing details of the surroundings and then arranging the details spatially (one side to the other, front to back, bottom to top—see p. 84). Consider taking a photograph that you can use as a reference. Remember to state some central point or main idea about the room in your first sentence. As an alternative assignment, describe the rooms in the photograph on the facing page.

Tell a story about some event in your life that you remember well and that has affected your view of yourself, another person, or the larger world. You could use several of the discovery methods discussed in this chapter to find ideas, but you might begin with general clustering and then try a focused cluster. Arrange your details chronologically (as if you were reliving the event from beginning to end—see p. 122). State some main point or reason for telling the story in your first sentence.

Explain why you are in college and what you hope to gain from this experience. You could use several of the discovery methods discussed in this chapter to find ideas, but you might begin with general freewriting and then try a focused freewrite. Arrange your reasons, starting your paragraph with the least important one and ending with the most important (see p. 139). State some overall point or reason for being in school in your first sentence.

© James Woodson/Digital Vision/Getty Images

1. Clarify the writing project.

2. Commit yourself to the work.

3. Practice the writing process:

1. Discover.

2. Organize.

3. Draft.

4. Revise.

5. Edit.

6. Proofread.

4. Be flexible in approaching the writing task. Try alternatives when necessary.

5. Don’t despair. Help for your writing abounds, but you must become an active learner, seeking out the help that you need to succeed.

Chapter 2

Making the Most of Reading

How do you feel about reading? What specifically do you like most or least about it? What advantages do you see to becoming a more effective reader?

Image Source/Corbis

Key Topics

· Is there a method to effective reading?

· Prereading: Preparing to understand

· Reading: Processing ideas

· Reading: Focusing and recording main ideas

· Postreading: Retaining ideas

When you were a child learning the alphabet and beginning to puzzle out words — c-a-t, d-o-g, p-i-g —reading was a mysterious and difficult process. As you advanced in school, this process became more comprehensible, but your reading tasks have also become more difficult. As a college student and an adult you are expected to read, understand, and evaluate complex texts. When you confront large, abstract reading assignments, you might sometimes feel as if you are back in elementary school, trying to untangle the mysteries of language. To make college-level reading more rewarding, this chapter will help you again become conscious of the reading process and learn some of the techniques that help effective readers remember, comprehend, and evaluate ideas.

We can divide the reading process into three stages:

1. Prereading: preparing to understand

2. Reading: processing ideas

3. Postreading: refining and retaining ideas

L. Clarke/Corbis

© L. Clarke/Corbis

U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service/John and Karen Hollingsworth

Reading, like writing, is best understood as a process. Just as you discover and organize ideas before writing a first draft, so too should you size up a text before you begin reading it. Here are three useful approaches:

1. Skim all signposts.

2. Skim beginnings and endings.

3. Link new information to previous knowledge.

All textbooks use signposts (visual aids) to help readers focus on the main points in each chapter, much like road signs guide travelers. The title itself will usually contain the main idea of the chapter. Next you will often find chapter previews, sometimes in the form of lists or brief summaries. Within the chapter, the major headings and subheadings form a chapter outline. Brief summaries or lists of essential points often appear at the ends of main sections, and many chapters conclude with a summary of (or questions on) the chapter’s primary ideas. Text boxes and marginal notes highlight significant points and ask questions to help readers reflect on the material. Finally, key words and passages are boldfaced, italicized, or shaded to emphasize a point. Skimming through a chapter and noting these reading aids may take a few minutes, but it is time well spent.

Chapters in textbooks are organized in much the same way as paragraphs and essays. Each chapter has a central focus (thesis), which divides into several topics. These, in turn, are divided into subtopics, all of which are then developed through examples, details, and explanations. Before you read the body of the chapter, it helps to read the chapter introduction and concluding paragraphs or chapter summary. For more in-depth knowledge, skim the body paragraphs, focusing on the first and last sentences of each. All paragraphs should contain a unifying idea, and that idea will frequently be stated as a clear topic sentence.

After you have previewed a chapter, pause for a moment of reflection. What have you just read? What does it mean to you at this point? How do the terms and ideas fit into your previous experience? We all have a large store of knowledge to draw from. When you link new information to what you already know, you remember more efficiently. Within almost all new material, you can usually find something familiar to help fix the new information in your mind. If you have little actual experience with a topic, you will still have associations with it and can make useful comparisons that will help you understand and remember it.

Hint

Signposts create a chapter outline.

Turn to Chapter 3 and skim the signposts, the beginning, and the ending. After 5 minutes of skimming, answer the following questions.

Hint

While previewing, remember not to read the body of the text; simply sample what the chapter will present in more depth.

After previewing a chapter, the next step involves active reading, in which you read the body of the text. During active reading you may often pause to think about the author’s message, sometimes backing up to reread. Complicated material like a college textbook requires careful reading. As active readers move through a text, they interact with it, asking questions, anticipating the author’s next point, agreeing or disagreeing with ideas, and linking new information to their previous knowledge.

Hint

Active reading is a deliberate, often slow process. Active readers interact with the text.

Here are three useful habits to develop as you read through any text:

1. Anticipate and react to the author’s points.

2. Visualize what the author is explaining or detailing.

3. Link new ideas to previous ones.

When you preview a chapter, you guess at what the body of the text will assert. Then, as you read, you react to the more detailed information. For example, if an author makes an arguable statement like “The Second Amendment provides for militias, not individual gun ownership,” you can tentatively agree or disagree, depending on the examples and explanations that follow. In a passage in which the author develops an extended comparison of, for example, a school to a prison, a reader might respond in several ways:

· Uncertainty: “What in the world does the writer mean by this comparison?”

· Guesses: “I wonder if he means school before college, when education is still mandatory?”

· Disagreement/agreement: “I don’t/do see many similarities here.”

· Comprehension: “Oh, I see. He means the teachers are like prison guards.”

Experienced readers carry on a running internal conversation with the text, but they also sometimes express themselves aloud.

Remember that all writing—from a comic strip to a calculus textbook—comes from people who are trying to communicate. When writers don’t communicate clearly, readers must puzzle out meaning for themselves. Interacting with a text is the most important way to become a more effective reader.

Another active-reading technique is to visualize the author’s words. We all form images in our minds. What kinds of pictures do you see in the following description?

The redwood table was covered with summer picnic food: bowls of potato salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, and sweet pickles. Hot dogs sizzled on the grill alongside hamburgers, soaking up flavor from smoking mesquite chips. Mom and Dad rested on the bench for a moment, sipping iced tea and gazing fondly at their three children, who laughed as they pushed their swings higher and higher still into the clear blue sky.

This brief paragraph includes only a few of the details we would see if we were actually there. But if we work with the writer, we can fill in others, making the scene come alive. For example, does the picnic table have a tablecloth? If so, what kind and color—possibly plastic with a red-and-white-check pattern? Maybe there are trees nearby, other families lounging on blankets, and other children climbing monkey bars. Writers select details to stimulate readers’ imaginations. Active readers then do most of the work themselves.

Even writers who are not purposely writing a description will include many details to illustrate their points, using key words to trigger images in readers’ imaginations. In the following passage, some words may be unfamiliar, but others—like island and volcanic—probably create pictures in your mind.

In mid-September of 1835, the Beagle arrived at the Galápagos Islands, a volcanic archipelago straddling the equator 600 miles west of the coast of Ecuador.

Perhaps you visualize sandy beaches and palm trees or a volcano spewing molten lava. We all form images differently, but creating vivid pictures helps us remember material—and makes reading more interesting.

As you read, it is crucial to connect new ideas to previous knowledge. For example, linking the Beagle‘s arrival at the Galápagos Islands to some other event of the mid-1800s you are familiar with—say, the beginning of Queen Victoria’s reign—will help you put Charles Darwin’s voyage in context, an important step toward understanding. Whenever you link previous knowledge to new ideas through associations and comparisons, you help yourself understand and remember.

This activity returns you to Chapter 3, this time to read in more depth. Turn to the pages listed for each of the three topics below. Read the material carefully, and then practice the three active-reading habits (listed here).

· EXAMPLE: Turn to pages 40–41 and read the information on revising topic sentences.

1.

2.

3.

1. Read about examples and details versus explanations (pp. 42–44).

1. Anticipate and react: ____________________________________

_____________________________________________________

2. Visualize: _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

3. Link to previous knowledge: ______________________________

_____________________________________________________

2. Read about layering examples (p. 44).

1. Anticipate and react: ____________________________________

_____________________________________________________

2. Visualize: _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

3. Link to previous knowledge: ______________________________

______________________________________________________

3. Read about unity (pp. 46-47).

1. Anticipate and react: _____________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

2. Visualize: ______________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

3. Link to previous knowledge: _______________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Apply the three active-reading habits to reading this web page. Then answer this question: How is reading online different from reading in print?

Knowing a few common patterns for organizing and developing ideas will make your reading easier and more efficient the first time through. Also, using a pencil and highlighter will make the material easier to review.

Here are several strategies to help focus your reading and record information:

1. Look for thesis, topic, and summary sentences.

2. Focus on primary (essential) examples.

3. Look for repeated material.

4. Notice the patterns of development.

5. Learn to annotate, outline, summarize, and paraphrase.

Thesis sentences contain the main idea of an essay; topic sentences contain the main idea of a paragraph. Both sentences state, “This is my topic, and this is what I’m going to say about it.” Essays and textbook chapters usually have a thesis statement in the opening paragraphs. Within body paragraphs, the first or second sentence is often a topic sentence, and at the end of the paragraph, there may be a summary sentence that reiterates the main idea. Look for these sentences when you preview a text, and then concentrate on them while reading. In the following paragraph, the topic sentence is shaded.

Hint

For more on thesis, topic, and summary sentences, see Chapter 12.

Paragraphs are built from detailed examples and explanations not all of which are critical to a reader’s understanding of the paragraph’s main idea. Writers often use secondary examples and explanations simply to reinforce their most important points. When reading for information, you should concentrate on the primary examples and most important explanations. Don’t be distracted by the less-important ones. In the preceding sample paragraph, the main points that support the topic sentence are in bold type. The other supporting points—the possible text length, a writer’s reaction to a long project, and the reference to clay tablets—are secondary and useful primarily to develop the main idea.

Textbooks in particular will repeat and elaborate important ideas, providing many examples and explanations. When you notice repeated material within a paragraph or chapter section (often in lists, charts, summaries, headings, and boxes), pay special attention; it is probably important. In the sample paragraph below, notice that the idea of support is repeated several times.

In Chapter 1, we looked briefly at the patterns of development, which writers use to expand and clarify their ideas and examples in predictable ways. For instance, in the paragraph below, we find imagined dialogue, which is a narrative element. Then the paragraph begins to tell how writers develop their ideas—the process-analysis or how-to pattern. Illustrating through examples, using vivid descriptive details, making comparisons, speculating about causes and effects, defining terms—when we begin to recognize these patterns, the ideas and information contained within them become easier to understand and to recall.

Hint

Try different methods for recording your interaction with a text to find one that works for you.

Active readers often find it helpful to annotate a text, underlining or highlighting important points while writing marginal notes to record reactions to the material. It is common to write questions, agree/disagree with a point, express surprise, link an idea with one found elsewhere in the text, and so on. You might number examples, star passages, circle prominent facts, and connect information with arrows.

There is no one best way to annotate, but, in general, highlight selectively. It will not help you focus on critical parts of the text if you highlight three-fourths of it. Note the following sample annotation:

Taking reading notes in the margins of your text saves paper, and it’s also helpful when rereading or reviewing material for a test. Annotations are signposts that you can design especially for yourself.

Informal “scratch” outlines can also be useful for retaining information. Here is how we might outline the paragraph on support sentences:

Paraphrasing and summarizing the material you read helps you remember it because doing so requires you to put a text’s ideas into your own words. In a paraphrase, you retain both primary and secondary examples. Therefore, a paraphrase is longer than a summary, which consists only of the main idea and significant examples. Here is how the support sentences paragraph might be paraphrased or summarized:

Read through the following paragraph excerpt, underlining the topic sentence and any primary examples. Next, annotate in the margins to show your reactions. Finally, write a brief scratch outline and a one-sentence summary of the paragraph.

Organizing Body Paragraphs

So far we have looked closely at the parts of a body paragraph and discussed a number of important ways to focus and develop them. But paragraphs and essays also benefit from an overall organizational plan, and there are several methods that are useful, depending on what you want to accomplish. If your primary goal is to describe, you might choose a spatial method of arrangement, organizing the parts of your description from side to side, front to back, near to far, inside to out, or bottom to top. If your primary goal is to tell a story—to entertain, explain, or persuade—you would choose a chronological pattern, relating events as they unfold in time. If you are most interested in communicating information—telling how something works, defining an idea, giving some history—or persuading, you might select order of importance, that is, beginning with your least important or interesting idea and ending with the most significant. Whatever overall method you choose, keep in mind that, especially in writing longer papers, you will often combine methods. For instance, a persuasive essay with reasons primarily arranged from least to most convincing might include a story that is arranged chronologically, or the essay might need to arrange some scene spatially.

Scratch Outline

Topic sentence (main point): ________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Supporting points:

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

Summary (one sentence):___________________________________________________

When you finish a reading assignment, you can simply move on to the next item on your to-do list, or you can take a few minutes to review, making your future recall of the material easier. When you stop reading, keep interacting with the text by asking questions like “What do I think of the material just covered? How does it fit with my experience? Are there any special points that I agree or disagree with, any ideas or suggestions that I will use from now on or that I think are useless?” Forming opinions will help you remember important ideas.

There are many ways to review effectively: silently skimming main points, stating them aloud, or organizing your thoughts on paper. These specific suggestions will help you review any reading assignment:

1. Repeat the prereading step, focusing especially on signposts.

2. Summarize or outline the main points. This may only require pulling together the paragraph summaries you have already written or listing the main points that you underlined when you annotated.

3. Quiz yourself on the material as if your instructor were asking the questions. If you can’t answer your own questions, reread.

4. Try to define any important term or idea in a sentence of 20 words or less. Can you remember (or come up with) an example that helps to define the term or support the idea?

5. List what you feel are the three most important points from your reading.

Using any of the five preceding suggestions, review Chapter 2; then, in small groups, list the essential points about reading that you need to remember. Limit your list to ten points and use them to write the Chapter Summary below.

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

7. ___________________________________________________________________

8. ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

9. ___________________________________________________________________

10. ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Hint

Remember that topic sentences are usually the first or second sentence but can be located elsewhere in a paragraph.

Chapter 3

Writing Paragraphs

In this photo, the three women are solving a puzzle, putting the many pieces together to make a complete picture. Explore in a paragraph how writing is like working on a puzzle.

Steve Mason/Getty Images

Key Topics

· What is a paragraph?

· Writing a topic sentence

· Developing body paragraphs

· Writing a concluding sentence

· Organizing body paragraphs

· Connecting sentences—achieving coherence

· Selecting a title

So far we have discussed the writing and reading processes, reviewing in general how compositions grow. Now we will look more specifically at one writing unit—the paragraph—to see how its pieces fit together and how it works in relation to larger units of writing. You’ve been writing paragraphs for years; in this chapter you will simply learn more about how they work and how you can write even more effective ones.

A paragraph is a collection of related sentences that are clearly connected to one another and that make some point. Paragraphs come in several varieties:

· Introductory

· Body

· Concluding

· Transitional

Our focus throughout Unit Two will be on the body paragraph. We will be developing paragraphs as single units of thought while remembering that paragraphs generally work together in essays. We will practice focusing a paragraph with a topic sentence; developing that main idea with specific, relevant support; and concluding the paragraph forcefully.

Hint

Paragraphs usually work together.

There is no set length for a paragraph; the kind of writing and the audience for it usually determine the number of sentences. For example, newspapers favor shorter paragraphs, whereas articles in academic journals often include paragraphs that fill a page. The paragraphs you write in Unit Two will usually run 250 to 300 words, or around fifteen sentences.

To contrast the paragraph with the essay and to get a sense of the parts of a paragraph, take a look at the diagrams on this page.

The body paragraph has three basic parts: topic sentence, support sentences, and concluding sentence. As you can see, the essay also has an introduction and a conclusion, but they are entire paragraphs. We will study introductory and concluding paragraphs in Unit Three.

All effective paragraphs have a main point, that is, some reason for their author to put that group of sentences together. Writers frequently state explicitly what a body paragraph will be about in a topic sentence. Usually the paragraph’s first sentence, a topic sentence, indicates the direction of the author’s and the readers’ mental journey. Like a compass guiding a backpacker through unfamiliar terrain, the topic sentence can help readers find their way from one end of a paragraph to the other, without taking needless detours along the way.

Hint

To see a student model paragraph with the parts labeled, turn to pages 43–44.

Which of the following sentences both limits the topic and expresses a statement or opinion that you think the author could develop in a single paragraph?

1. I have a brother named Jason.

2. Many families have more than one boy.

3. My brother Jason is a great guitarist.

Hint

A body paragraph is not an essay.

Sentences A and B are simply factual observations that give the reader no sense of what else the writer might want to say about them. Sentence C, on the other hand, limits the topic (“Jason”) and makes a clear statement or assertion about it (“is a great guitarist”) that we would expect the author to discuss further. A clearly expressed opinion or statement combined with a well-focused topic gives you and your readers the direction you need to move through the rest of the paragraph.

How to Write a Topic Sentence

1.

2. Make a clear statement about it.

Your topic sentence should state an opinion or controlling point. For instance, don’t say, “Many people recycle in the United States”—a general factual statement that could lead in many directions. Instead, express a point, like this: “I learned the hard way how important it is to recycle.”

3. Use specific word choices.

Strive to make your topic sentence interesting, since it is your introduction to the rest of your paragraph. You might begin with a rough topic sentence like “My brother is a great guitarist.” But by adding more specific details, you could write a far more interesting sentence, such as this one: “My brother Jason toured all last summer with Architecture in Helsinki, playing some terrific solo riffs.”

English Review Note

Although in some languages it is considered impolite to begin with a strong, direct point, English readers expect such an approach. In fact, you should state your point as directly as possible to show that you value your readers’ time.

In the following group of topic sentences, underline the topic once and the statement being made about it twice.

1. Global warming is accelerating faster than most scientists predicted.

2. Hot air balloon rides are fun but more dangerous than most people think.

3. “Road rage” affects people from all walks of life.

4. All day care facilities should require a state license.

5. I think cemeteries are very restful places.

Good topic sentences are broad enough to let the writer develop a subject with specific examples, explanations, and details but narrow enough to allow the subject to be covered in a paragraph. Notice how the following broad topic sentences can be narrowed:

Revise the following topic sentences to narrow their focus. Consider drawing on your own experiences or general knowledge to make a specific point about each topic.

EXAMPLE: Having to stay in the hospital can be a miserable experience.

·

1. There are ways to preserve the environment.

_________________________________________________________

2. Education costs a great deal in this country.

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

3. Computers are often used by students.

_________________________________________________________

4. There are many SUVs on the road today.

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

5. Most people take precautions when they learn of a tornado warning.

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Hint

As you decide how to limit each statement, imagine that you will have to write a paragraph based on your revised topic sentence.

Often, when you reread drafts of your paragraphs, you will see that the supporting sentences take you in a slightly different direction than what you stated in the topic sentence. Sometimes this requires deleting or modifying the supporting sentences, and sometimes it means reshaping the topic sentence.

Read each of the following groups of sentences from the body of a paragraph, state a topic that matches them, and then write a suitable topic sentence.

EXAMPLE: Jinyi opened her first present and clapped her hands in delight. Her parents, brothers and sisters, and the rest of the family wished her well. Jinyi’s mother brought the cake, with 10 candles blazing, into the room. Her father hugged her and whispered, “You are the best daughter a father could ever hope for.”

1. One major mistake new college students make is too much partying. Another problem many students have is zoning out in class. Whereas cramming used to cut it in high school, daily study is now required. It is difficult to balance schoolwork with jobs.

Possible topic:____________________________________________

Possible topic sentence:_____________________________________

________________________________________________________

2. I never realized that marriage would have so many bumps in the road. Being a good partner requires more than giving 50-50. A couple must communicate daily. Another important practice is regularly showing affection.

Possible topic:_____________________________________________

Possible topic sentence:______________________________________

3. Dad told us to burn the leaves, and my older brother Jim thought gasoline would help. After we had the leaves raked in a big pile, Jim poured on a mayonnaise jar full of gas. “Go ahead and light them,” he ordered me. When the leaves exploded, I was knocked flat on my back.

Possible topic:____________________________________________

Possible topic sentence:_____________________________________

________________________________________________________

A rough topic sentence is enough to begin a draft of your paragraph with, but when you polish a topic sentence, you can make it more informative and interesting. One way to improve a topic sentence is to use specific words wherever possible. Selecting a specific word simply means choosing a word that fits into a more limited category than another, similar word.

Compare the following word lists:

Notice that the words in column B are more specific; that is, they are part of a larger group that the words in column A represent. For instance, the first word in column A, tool, includes the first word in column B, hammer, as well as such items as a screwdriver, paintbrush, or shovel. The more specific the word you choose, the sharper the image it creates—and the more interesting the sentence becomes.

Look at the following topic sentences. The first in each pair is the rough topic sentence, and the second has been polished by adding specific words.

© Ingram Publishing/Alamy

© Brand X Pictures/PunchStock

© PIXTAL/PunchStock

C Squared Studios/Getty Images

Hint

For more on specific language, see pp. 75–78.

Rewrite the following sentences, making them more interesting by adding specific words where appropriate.

1. Rough topic sentence: I like working on my car.

Revised topic sentence:______________________________________

2. Rough topic sentence: Many voters are excited about the election.

Revised topic sentence:______________________________________

____________________________________________________

3. Rough topic sentence: I know now why I am finally back in school.

Revised topic sentence:______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

4. Rough topic sentence: My husband has to work too much.

Revised topic sentence:______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

5. Rough topic sentence: Living in a new country is difficult.

Revised topic sentence:______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

After writers establish a workable topic sentence, they must next write sentences that support it. These sentences are developed with examples, details, and explanations—the basic tools of the trade. No matter how long the writing project, we use these tools over and over to “fill up the space” and show why and how our topics matter.

The next few sections explore support: what it is, how much is enough, when it is relevant, and when it is clear.

Writers support their topic sentences with specific examples, details, and explanations.

An example illustrates some part of a statement by showing a specific instance of it. Whenever you are asked for more information to help someone understand an idea, chances are that you will give an example. For instance, you might say to a friend, “Baseball is boring.” Your friend, a baseball fanatic, immediately replies, “What do you mean by that?” When you tell her that the pitcher and the catcher have most of the fun, that half the time the infielders and outfielders are so stationary they might as well be asleep, and that you would like to see a little more body contact, like in football, you have provided a list of examples.

Hint

For more on using examples in writing, see Chapter 7.

English Review Note

Your body paragraph should explain your main point, not just repeat it. Paragraph development in English may differ from that in your native language.

Types of Examples

1. Personal examples: based on your own experiences. To illustrate how frustrating preschoolers can be, you could tell a story about the time your 4-year-old sister locked herself in the bathroom for 2 hours.

2. Facts: commonly accepted truths—for example, “Some trees lose their leaves in the fall.”

3. Statistics: numerical facts—for example, “The earth is 93,000,000 miles from the sun.”

4. Information gathered from print sources (books, newspapers, magazines, etc.), electronic sources (including the Internet), interviews, TV, and radio.

5. Second-hand anecdotes: things that happened to someone else.

6. Comparisons, including metaphors/similes—for example, “The flute is basically a pipe with holes drilled in it.”

7. “What-if” situations: speculation about what could happen, such as what would happen if you decided to stop working on Fridays.

8. Dialogue created or reported to express a point.

Just as we need examples to illustrate general statements, we need details to make examples more interesting. Details help sharpen an image or clarify an idea. To make the example of your little sister’s locking herself in the bathroom more vivid, you could name some parts of the scene, then add modifiers and sensory details:

You can use examples to develop much of your writing, but sometimes you need more. What if the reader does not understand the example or how it relates to your point? You can offer explanations—reasons that justify behavior, tell how things work, or anticipate possible outcomes. Explanations are vital when you develop a main point because they connect examples and guide readers through your ideas.

Suppose a reader’s reaction to the example of the preschooler’s behavior is “That doesn’t seem so frustrating to me. Why didn’t you just walk away and forget it?” The writer would need to explain that the child was his responsibility and that it would have been too dangerous to leave her locked in a bathroom by herself, especially while she was having a tantrum.

Explanations work with details and examples to “fill up the white space.” In the following paragraph, you will find three major examples to support the topic sentence, an explanation following each major example, and details throughout to make the examples and explanations more vivid for the reader.

Detailed examples and clear explanations are important; you must have enough of them to fully illustrate your ideas. However, all too often inexperienced writers think a topic has been fully presented when the development is thin or repetitive.

To avoid underdevelopment, fill your paragraphs with layers of specific examples: The further readers move into a paragraph, the more specific it should become. Each major point should be clarified with detailed examples and explanations that increasingly limit and focus the paragraph’s main idea:

Practically speaking, in one-paragraph papers, you will regularly be descending only one or two levels.

Hint

Layer examples from general to specific.

Read the following to see what the deli paragraph sounds like once we strip away the second-level examples, details, and explanations:

This version reads more like an outline. The main ideas are there, but nothing more.

Each sentence group below begins with a topic sentence followed by a first-level example. To further develop each topic, create a second-level example that adds more specific information (details and explanation).

· EXAMPLE: Topic sentence: People should avoid jogging because it hurts more than helps them.

· First-level example: For instance, jogging can be bad for a person’s joints.

·

1. Topic sentence: Making it to class on time is difficult for several good reasons.

First-level example: First, students have difficulty finding a parking space.

Second-level example:_______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

2. Topic sentence: I learned how to budget my money the hard way.

First-level example: One lesson was to stop eating out so often.

Second-level example:_______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

3. Topic sentence: My family’s annual trip to Silver Dollar City was fun this year.

First-level example: I most enjoyed my time on the lake.

Second-level example:_______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

4. Topic sentence: Painting my house this spring was a valuable experience.

First-level example: Another way I profited was by saving money.

Second-level example:_______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

5. Topic sentence: Though some people hate it, I love doing yard work.

First-level example: My work outside gives me a great chance to observe nature.

Second-level example:_______________________________________

_________________________________________________________

Sometimes even fully developed secondary support and examples include material that—while interesting, accurate, and worthwhile—may distract from the main point. When your paragraphs contain examples, details, and explanations that do not clearly develop the topic sentence (main point), you have a problem with unity.

Hint

Unity = all examples and explanations clearly relating to a paragraph’s main point.

Always consider your audience and try to gauge whether they would view any of your material as distracting or unnecessary. If you write out a controlling topic sentence and then look at it often as you work, you will have less trouble with unity.

Hint

The writer should show that all ideas in a paragraph are relevant.

In the following descriptive paragraph, do you think the underlined sentences reinforce or distract readers from the main point?

English Review Note

In some languages, it is not uncommon to digress or go off the topic. Although indirectly related details may seem interesting, they can confuse the reader.

Think of words as valuable resources and your paragraph as how you can use them. Part of keeping paragraphs unified and relevant is paying attention to these concerns on the sentence level. Consider when you’ve used “padding”—words that merely make a sentence bulkier, not more meaningful.

Hint

See Chapter 20 for more on writing concisely.

Look closely at the following paragraph and then underline the three sentences that seem to stray too far from the topic sentence. In the space after the paragraph, explain why each sentence you marked does not belong.

Primary audience: American college students ages 18–22.

When I was 10 years old, I used to live for baseball. Summer signaled the time school was finally over, and my friends and I could hit the park. We never wasted any time. Eight boys ranging in age from 7 to 15 met at our house for breakfast, filled up their water bottles, and headed down to the park. We almost always had it to ourselves. Of course, there was one time when the city held their Fourth of July celebration there. Down went the Frisbees to mark the bases, out came the gloves, bats, and balls, and then began the all-day games. You might think that a group of kids couldn’t stay focused on anything all day, but we did. This was like our little World Series. Part of it was just love of the game; part of it was the competitive spirit. We all wanted to win. My brother was the most competitive of all of us and would fight over the strikes and the foul or fair balls. After countless innings, balls chased into the street, and blisters from swinging the bat too many times, we would call it a day. I knew that later in the evening I might sneak a quick game of basketball in with my brother in our driveway. The sun would finally set on the eight of us, sweating, dehydrated, and covered in dirt from sliding into bases and diving for grounders. Whoever had the most wins, it didn’t really matter. We went home happy, knowing that the next day we could play baseball again.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

After revising your paragraph for sufficient and relevant support, you might think that you are home free. But there is still one more vital point to check for—clarity. Achieving clarity—explaining examples, reasons, and word choices completely—is essential if readers are to fully understand your paragraph. One of the surest ways to check for clarity is to imagine a specific audience reading your work so that you can anticipate and answer their questions.

Hint

Clarity = clear explanations and precise word choices.

For example, in the baseball paragraph from Activity 3.7, there are several words, phrases, and ideas that might puzzle some readers. The idiomatic expression “my friends and I could hit the park” could be misinterpreted by readers unfamiliar with it. (Why would young people want to beat the ground at the park?) In the next sentence, readers might wonder about 7-year-olds playing baseball with 15-year-olds. Are the ages accurate? More explanation might be needed. The stated audience (American college students ages 18–22) would not have any difficulty with words and phrases like Fourth of July, World Series, strikes, and diving for grounders, but other readers might.

Hint

Role-playing your audience can help with clarity.

As you reread your work, checking for clarity, try to role-play your audience. And as other readers give you input, ask these questions frequently: “Do you understand all of my ideas? Are my examples and explanations clear? Do any of the words puzzle you or seem to need further explaining?”

English Review Note

Avoid using translations; they can be confusing to readers.

As you read the following paragraphs, think about the audience and what they might know; then underline any word or phrase that might need additional explanation.

· EXAMPLE: Audience: 12-year-olds learning about fly-fishing

1. Audience: person training to be a waiter

Be careful on Friday and Saturday evenings during the rush. Orders are coming fast off the wheel, and the servers will blow past you pretty quickly coming off the line. Always check with the manager to see if any menu items have been 86ed, and be sure to check the special.

2. Audience: a young uncle who has volunteered to baby-sit (but who has no experience with toddlers) getting instructions on changing a diaper

Be careful not to use the Kleenexes; they’re too rough. Use the wipes. And don’t wipe her from back to front. Go the other way. If it’s before bedtime, use a day diaper. If she’s ready for bed, don’t use the old night diapers because we want her to start using the pull-ups now. You will find the cloth diapers and all the other diapers in the drawers under the changing table, but don’t try to use the cloth diapers for anything but padding the table. And, oh yes, don’t use the Diaper Genie; it’s a holdover from Alexis’s baby days.

As you read the following paragraph, think about the audience; then underline any phrase or sentence that fails to explain its point clearly. In the space below the paragraph, explain what more readers would need to know.

· Audience: first-year community college students beginning the registration process

All new students must attend a preadvising session, so set some time aside and find the right room for the session. Next, go get an application, fill it out, and turn it in. Be sure to create a PIN and record it for future use—this is important! If you want to enroll in credit classes, you must take the assessment tests. Of course, not everyone has to take all the tests, and not doing well on the tests will not keep you from attending the college, but not taking the tests at all will.

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

As important as it is to begin a paragraph well and to develop the body fully, writers need to end their paragraphs with equal care. Although many short and medium-length body paragraphs in essays do not use summary or “clincher” sentences, longer body paragraphs commonly do, and one-paragraph papers should as well. The paragraphs you write for assignments in Unit Two should end decisively with a single sentence (sometimes two) that brings the paper to a satisfying finish.

How to Write a Concluding Sentence

1. Use a connector: Remember to use a transitional word (e.g., finally, aside from, on the other hand, consequently) or other sentence connector in the first part of the concluding sentence.

2. Link to the topic sentence: Always remind your readers of the topic and the statement you made about it in your topic sentence. You may simply repeat a word or, better still, find a synonym. Some paragraphs benefit from briefly mentioning (in a word or two) some important example, reason, or image from the body.

3. Expand the thought: Leave your readers with something to think about besides the statement in your topic sentence. This added thought should extend the discussion in the supporting sentences of your paragraph. Use any of the following methods:

1. Express an emotion.

2. Give a judgment or opinion.

3. Ask a related question.

4. Make a reflective statement.

5. Say how your topic has affected your behavior or outlook on life.

6. Make an ironic observation.

Hint

For more on sentence connectors, see pp. 54–57.

English Review Note

Don’t be afraid to express strong emotional conclusions.

What to Avoid in Concluding Sentences

1. Do not simply repeat the topic sentence or a slightly altered version of it. Show your readers that you have some good reason for writing the paragraph and for them to read it.

2. In searching for an interesting ending, don’t drift off into the twilight zone. Your final thought should grow logically from the paragraph.

3. Do not end with a cliché or worn phrase such as this one: So, as you can see, I was caught between a rock and a hard place.

4. Do not announce that you are ending the paper: Well, it’s time to end this paragraph, so. . . . A brief summary of important examples or points, your expanded thought, and the white space at the bottom of the page will let readers know you have finished.

Hint

For more on clichés and worn phrases, see Chapter 20.

There is no one “right” way to conclude a paragraph or essay. Actually, conclusions, like introductions, are often detachable parts of the larger writing project. As you change one, you will frequently need to change the other. Take a moment to examine the six possible concluding sentences that could end the following paragraph. Which do you prefer?

An Oak Deeply Rooted—or a Tumbleweed?

Many people would define the ideal life as one in which they can live where they want to, when they want to. The Midwest appeals to people from all over the country who want housing that is still affordable, a small city with lots of green spaces, and an environment that is relatively low in crime. But when summer comes, people head for the mountains in droves. In an ideal situation a couple would have a small, well-furnished cabin in a rugged mountain chain like the Rockies and spend time there from July through September. They could spend time backpacking, fishing the lakes and streams, rafting the rivers, horseback riding, and mountain biking. However, mountain winters are rugged, so there comes a time when many people feel the most desirable destination is the beach. In January, when the temperatures in the middle and northern part of the country are dipping well below zero, in a mass exodus, winter-shy crowds head for the southern rim of our country and beyond. And why not? Who wants to bundle up in four layers of clothes and a down coat just to waddle outside to check the mail? Beach residents can look forward to sailing, motorboating, jet skiing, windsurfing, fishing, snorkeling, diving, and strolling along the beach. Aside from the gentler weather and fun activities, it seems easier to find large groups of like-minded people of various ages to socialize with. _____________________

Possible Concluding Sentences

1. It would be fun to have the freedom and money to live wherever a person wanted to, and it is a shame that more people in this affluent country of ours can’t do it.

2. But if people want this kind of lifestyle, they need to work hard and save so they can earn it.

3. With so many places to visit and new experiences awaiting us, who wouldn’t want to travel the country as the seasons turn?

4. In the long run, although it would be wonderful to have the freedom and the money to move from place to place, attitude and health probably count more than wherever people live.

5. But even with the opportunities for fun that multiple homes could bring, I think I would miss my friends and family too much to stay away from my real home too long.

6. So, if you like this vision of a future, be sure to take it easy while you’re young, don’t work too hard, don’t worry about an education that will lift you upward, and by all means max out those credit cards today—you’ll be living the ideal life before you know it.

Any of these possible conclusions could be the “right” way to end this paragraph. Try several possible endings as you revise your drafts, searching for one that best fits your topic, purpose, audience, and tone (humorous, serious, sad, and so on).

Hint

Any of the possible concluding sentences could be inserted here.

Hint

Try several concluding sentences to end your draft.

In each of the following three sets of sentences, you will find a topic sentence and three concluding sentences. Circle the letter of the strongest closing sentence; in the space provided, explain why you think it works best.

1. Topic sentence: Whenever I close my eyes trying to remember the “good old days,” the first thing that comes to mind is my friends calling me a wuss.

Possible concluding sentences:

1. I have a career goal today, which I am close to achieving, of becoming a travel agent.

2. Several of my childhood friends are currently in jail.

3. Although I wouldn’t want to relive these childhood experiences, they have helped me become more sensitive to other people’s fears and insecurities.

_________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________

2. Topic sentence: I was 15 years old and had never before lost a tae kwon do tournament, but this St. Louis match was a big one, and I was a little worried.

Possible concluding sentences:

1. With only 5 seconds left, my opponent’s parents began to cheer with tears in their eyes.

2. But losing this tournament helped me to see that there will always be someone better, so I should never stop learning and practicing what is important to me.

3. Martial arts are a good way to stay in shape if you are willing to spend the time at them.

_________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________

3. Topic sentence: So, as my life in America began, I was surprised at the great difference between Korean high school and American high school.

Possible concluding sentences:

1. Though I miss my home and friends, I’m glad that I was able to experience the freedom I found in my American high school.

2. In Korea, I had no choice; there was a required academic program that couldn’t be disputed by the students.

3. The way that the high schools dealt with sexuality between males and females was very different because of the different cultures.

_________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________

Read through the following paragraph, and create two closing sentences that are different from the one provided. Use any two of the six methods (A–F) listed on page 50.

Other possible concluding sentences:

1. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Concluding sentence

In addition to a topic sentence that provides focus, paragraphs benefit from an overall organizational plan, which depends on the writer’s purpose.

If your primary goal is to describe, you might choose spatial arrangement, organizing the parts of your description from side to side, front to back, near to far, inside to out, or bottom to top. If your primary goal is to tell a story—to entertain, inform, or persuade—or explain a process, you might choose chronological order, relating events as they unfold in time. If you are most interested in communicating information—telling how something works, defining an idea, or giving some history—you might select order of importance, that is, beginning with your least important or interesting idea and ending with the most significant.

Whatever method you choose, especially in writing longer papers, you will often combine methods. For instance, a persuasive essay with supporting points primarily arranged from least to most convincing might include a story that is arranged chronologically or a description arranged spatially.

Hint

Essays often combine organizational patterns.

For more complete explanations of these organizational methods, as well as paragraph examples, turn to the following pages:

· Spatial: pages 84–86, 87–89

· Chronological: pages 115–117, 122–123

· Order of importance: pages 139–140, 144–147

After establishing an overall pattern for your paper, formulating a working topic sentence, and writing a first draft, read your paper for coherence. An effective paragraph or essay is unified; that is, all the examples and explanations clearly relate to the main idea expressed in the topic or thesis sentence. If unity relates to ideas, then coherence relates to the paper’s structure, what holds the sentences together. It might help to think of the related word adhesive, a useful sticky substance (like tape or glue) that can keep your sentences from falling apart.

Hint

Coherence = linking sentences with connecting words.

Writers can link sentences and paragraphs in several ways, and you probably use these methods quite naturally even as you churn out rough drafts. But when you omit necessary connectors, you can confuse readers. Consider the following passages, and decide which seems clearer to you:

The omission of several transitional words and three repeated words in version A makes it difficult for us even to follow the information, much less enjoy what the writer has written.

Hint

In your own work, you should become aware of these devices, which will help your writing “stick together.”

Methods for Achieving Coherence

1. Transitions

2. Repetition

3. Synonyms

4. Pronouns

5. Reference to a main idea

Transitions (also called “connectors”) are the most common method writers use to create coherence. Transitional words and phrases guide a reader through your writing like street signs help you to find your way in a city.

Using Table 3.1, locate and underline all the transitional words in the following paragraph excerpt. The first sentence has been marked as an example.

English Review Note

Review these transitions and their meanings. Note the prepositions and articles that may be part of the phrase.

Repeating a word or phrase is the second most common method for creating coherence in writing. However, if you repeat words needlessly, you risk boring your reader. Which of these sentence groups uses repetition more effectively?

If version A seems a bit awkward, it is because the writer has overused repetition, instead of offering some variety by substituting pronouns such as we (for my cousins and I), as in version B.

Hint

For more on using pronouns to improve coherence, see Chapter 25.

Using synonyms—words with identical or nearly identical meaning—or short phrases in place of another word or phrase is a good alternative to repetition. For example, in version A above, the author could have created variety by naming her two cousins and using the word children to refer to herself and her cousins.

Working with a partner, cross out unneeded repetition in this paragraph; then write in necessary replacement words in the space above the line. Do not cross out every repeated word, though—artful repetition is desirable. Compare your revision to those of other groups.

Everyone has experienced the thrill of victory, but I have yet to see a comeback as sweet as the 1997 Chapman versus Abilene football game. Chapman and Abilene are two class 4A high schools located in north-central Kansas, and Chapman and Abilene have one of the fiercest football rivalries in the state of Kansas. At first, the game seemed like any other football rivalry game. Chapman would get a touchdown, and then Abilene would answer with another touchdown. Both Chapman and Abilene had a strong passing game, but Chapman could run the football better than Abilene could run it.

English Review Note

Repeating words can make your writing less interesting and also indicates a limited vocabulary. Use a dictionary to find appropriate synonyms and make use of pronouns.

You use pronouns—words that can replace nouns (she, it, who, them)—so unconsciously that you might overlook them as a way to improve coherence. Read the following two sets of sentences and decide which is more coherent and clear:

Hint

Be careful not to overuse pronouns. Also, be sure that each pronoun clearly refers back to a specific noun.

If version A seems difficult to understand, you might notice the overuse of his. Pronoun reference becomes especially tricky when a pronoun could be referring to several different nouns, as is the case with Bill and Jim. A good general rule when revising for both coherence and clarity is to check pronouns several times to be sure the noun they refer to will be clear to your readers.

Hint

For more on pronouns and pronoun reference, see Chapter 25.

In the following paragraph excerpt, cross out unneeded or confusing pronouns, and write in the replacement words in the line above.

Smokey lived with me for years and was my good friend. But then she contracted a feline virus comparable to HIV in humans. During the time she was sick, she also got cancer, which caused a lump on her neck just behind her head. We had it removed once in hopes that it would save her life, but instead it came back. When it returned, it was twice as big as it had been, and it only took half the time to form. My mother and I decided that it would be best to put her down. It was the hardest decision of my life, but I loved her too much to see her in such pain.

English Review Note

Take care to distinguish between he/she and him/her.

You can also achieve coherence within and between paragraphs by linking main ideas or examples. For instance, notice how the following paragraph excerpt begins to develop the idea of merciless teachers in the topic sentence, continues with the synonym cruel, and reinforces the idea of cruelty with the word punish.

Effective writers rely on all five methods we have discussed—transitions, repetition, synonyms, pronouns, and references to the main idea—to achieve coherence, often using several in the same sentence.

With your paper almost finished, it is time to expend one last bit of creative energy—choosing a title. But why do you need one in the first place?

A title’s primary purpose is to attract readers. In “real-world” writing, authors are competing for readers’ attention, time, and money, so any device that increases the authors’ chances of success is welcome. You, too, are competing for your audience’s attention. Whether you are working on a personal project, a business proposal, or a paper for a professor, including a title captures your readers’ interest and sets up a positive expectation.

As you draft, be alert to any image or phrase that might make a good title. If nothing seems promising, brainstorm alone or with others when the paper is complete. Whenever you create your title, remember that it should accomplish two goals: interest readers and indicate your slant on the topic.

Hint

You may find a good title in a phrase or sentence in your draft.

If you had to choose one of the following papers from each pair to read on the basis of the title, which would most interest you?

1. A profile of a hard-working mother:

1. “My Mom the Worker”

2. “She Kept the Ship Afloat”

2. A story about a child sneaking one too many cookies:

1. “Children Should Mind Their Parents”

2. “Slamming the Lid on Andrew”

3. A personal narrative about a serious accident:

1. “A Bad Wreck”

2. “Crawling through the Wreckage”

In each case, version B is more vivid and inviting.

How to Write Effective Titles

1. Keep titles short (roughly one to eight words). People can read and process a shorter title more efficiently. Readers confronted with a long title may think that the paper to follow will also be hard work.

2. Link the title to your main idea or dominant impression.

3. Create an image:

1. Use a metaphor or other comparison. Notice the first title example above. What do you suppose “the ship” refers to?

2. Use specific words, sensory details, active verbs, and words with -ing endings. Notice that the second and third title examples use -ing words to convey action.

4. Use a question. Look back at the paragraph “What’s the Rush?” (p. 46).

5. Make a play on words. Notice in the second title example that “slamming the lid” brings to mind the slang expression “put a lid on it,” meaning to stop some behavior. A play on words can add a humorous touch to a paper when the topic and tone warrant it.

6. Refer to something that your audience might know about and find engaging: sports; world, national, or local news; literature; religion; social groups; life roles (employer, employee, parent, brother, sister); jokes or song lyric references; and so on.

Hint

For more on metaphors, see pp. 498, 500.

What to Avoid in Titles

1. Clichés and worn phrases. Recycled comparisons bore readers. Don’t title a paper “The Wait That Seemed an Eternity” or “The Night That Sent Shivers down My Spine.” These kinds of clichés will send shivers down your instructors’ spines, may make them break into a cold sweat, and will certainly make them feel as if they will be reading your paper for an eternity.

2. Inappropriate tone. The tone of your work is the feeling you have about your topic and the emotions you want your readers to experience (happy, playful, sad, bitter, angry, formal). If, for instance, your topic and your treatment of it are serious, sad, or angry, don’t use a light-hearted title.

3. Waiting until 5 minutes before class to write it. If the title contributes to the overall impact of your paper, why gamble on inspiration at the last possible moment?

Formatting

1. Capitalize all words in your title—even small ones like do, is, and can—except articles (a, an, the), prepositions (in, on, to, etc.), and coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). However, the first and last words of the title and any word following a colon should be capitalized.

2. Do not enclose in quotation marks or underline a title placed on a title page or above the first line of text.

3. Be sure to center the title on the page.

Hint

For more on audience profiling, see pp. 46–49.

Hint

For more on tone, see Chapter 20.

Body paragraphs make up the bulk of most writing assignments, and the information in this chapter will come in handy as you develop papers of any length. The skills of unity, clarity, and support extend far beyond coursework. If, for example, you were writing a cover letter, you would want to present a unified reason for pursuing the position and a clear description of your previous experience, complete with specific supporting examples.

1. A paragraph is a unified and coherent collection of sentences that is most often grouped with other paragraphs.

2. Body paragraphs must have a central point, which is often expressed in a topic sentence located as the first sentence in the paragraph.

3. A topic sentence consists of the topic plus a statement of opinion or attitude. It should be focused and as interesting as you can make it.

4. Paragraphs are developed with examples, details, and explanations.

5. Paragraph support should be sufficient, relevant, and clear.

6. Paragraphs benefit from specific word choices and specific examples.

7. Concluding sentences should end a paper decisively. One way to end effectively is with an expanded thought.

8. Three types of organizational patterns for paragraphs are spatial (description), chronological (narrative), and order of importance (explanatory and persuasive). These methods often overlap.

9. A paragraph is unified when all examples, details, and explanations relate to a central point, which is expressed in the topic sentence.

10. In coherent paragraphs, sentences are clearly linked using transitions, repetition, synonyms, pronouns, and references to the main idea.

11. A title’s primary purpose is to attract readers, and good titles are brief, linked to the main idea, and engaging.

Revising Paragraphs

Artists are only one group of people who constantly rework or revise to improve their final product. In what ways do you see revision working in your own life? In what activities (such as specific sports, hobbies, or job skills) do you try to improve? Pick one activity and tell how practice has helped you get better at it.

© Dynamic Graphics/JupiterImages

Key Topics

· Revising paragraphs: An introduction

· Revising first-stage drafts

· Revising second-stage drafts

· Editing

· Proofreading

Revision is part of your everyday life, as you find yourself trying to improve your parallel parking skills, your recipes, your dance moves, or the organization of your living space. Or perhaps you often try to find faster ways to get from one location to another. If you lift weights or try yoga, you are revising your body. And each time you take a class, you revise your mind and critical thinking skills. Whether you are improving upon a pie crust recipe or a paragraph, revision takes time and effort; most people do not have a natural talent for it. However, if you are willing to invest the energy, it is a rewarding process, and you can gradually become your own best editor.

Working with key concepts introduced in Chapters 1 and 3, this chapter will help you revise writing by providing questions to help you think critically about your draft. As you work through specific assignments in Chapters 5–11, you can return to this chapter for help with revising paragraphs or to Chapter 1, pages 17–19, for reminders about general revision strategies.

Hint

Effective revising begins with a can-do attitude.

As you revise a first-stage draft, concentrate primarily on the main points you want to make. Consider your focus: Are you following the assignment as your instructor has explained it? Have you narrowed your topic so that you can express it briefly in a topic sentence? Have you arranged your examples logically and thoroughly explained them? Does your last sentence link to your topic sentence and make a final point?

The following questions will help you as you begin revising your first draft.

English Review Note

Visit your college’s writing center for assistance in revising your drafts.

Journal / Blog Entry 4.1

To help you focus on the revision process and to alert your instructor to your progress, list three specific changes you have made or feel you ought to make from your first to second rough draft. Refer to the preceding first-stage draft questions, and answer as specifically as possible.

Feedback

In a sentence or two, say what you like best about a classmate’s draft. What do you like best about your own?

Depending on your writing habits, you may have a draft that is fairly close to final now, or you may still need to address major content and organizational concerns. If at this point you are comfortable with most of the content of your draft, you can focus on word- and sentence-level revision. The following questions will help you find problems in your second-stage drafts for all paragraph assignments in Unit Two.

1. Have you used specific language (pp. 75–76)? Your paragraph will include both general and specific words, but remember that specific words sharpen an image. You could sharpen the focus on “old clothes” by saying “old blue jeans and a baggy KU Jayhawks sweatshirt.”

2. Have you developed sensory details thoroughly? Description and narration thrive on sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste), but all writing can benefit from them. Revise your sentences using the five senses, without relying too much on sight. Which of the following sentences creates a sharper image?

1. A dessert eaten by a campfire tastes better than one eaten at home.

2. The hot, white, melting marshmallows fresh from the fire stick to my fingers and almost burn me as I pop them too quickly into my mouth.

Hint

Avoid stacking modifiers in front of words—for example, “a sleek, shiny, turbocharged, gasguzzling black Mustang.”

3. Revise your own sentences to add sensory details wherever they will help.

4. Are you choosing “active” verbs to describe action? Verbs that show action are usually a better choice than more “static” verbs (be, do, have, and make are common culprits). Which of the following sentences creates the sharper image?

Revise your own sentences to add active verbs wherever they are needed.

5. Are you using any -ing words? (See Chapter 24.) Present participles (verb forms with an -ing ending) can also convey action. Which of the following sentences creates the sharper image?

Revise your own sentences, adding -ing words wherever they are needed.

Hint

For more on active verbs, see Chapter 24.

6. Are the sentences in your paragraph varied in length? (See Chapter 19.) Your writing can be more interesting when you vary the length of your sentences. After polishing word choices, count the words in each sentence. If you find that more than three or four sentences in a row are roughly the same length, either combine two of them or divide a longer one.

7. Are the beginnings of your sentences varied? If even two sentences in a row in your draft begin with the same word, such as the, you might need to change an opening or combine sentences to break up the pattern. Also look for too many similar openings, even if the sentences are not together.

8. Have you repeated a word or phrase so often that it becomes noticeable? While some repetition is fine, too much becomes boring. Compare the following sentences. Which sounds repetitive?

Revise your own sentences to cut or replace words that are repeated too often.

9. Have you included words that serve no purpose? Cluttered writing can bore and confuse, whereas concise writing involves readers and clarifies ideas. Which of the following sentences is concise, and which is cluttered?

Revise your own sentences to cut nonessential words.

Hint

For more on unnecessary repetition and unneeded words, see Chapter 20.

Journal / Blog Entry 4.2

To help you focus on revision and alert your instructor to your progress, list three specific changes you have made or feel you ought to make to your second draft. Refer to the second-stage draft questions, answering them specifically. Next, in several sentences state what you like best about your draft so far.

Feedback

Exchange work with a classmate and use the second-stage draft questionnaire to make constructive suggestions. What is the strongest feature of this person’s draft? What does he or she say is the strongest part of yours?

Like many students you might be tempted to hurry through the editing stage. This impulse is understandable—it is often a long journey from brainstorming to final draft.

Aside from being overanxious to complete the writing excursion, you might not always know what to look for in your final draft. For instance, if you don’t know the rule that tells you where to put the comma, how are you supposed to recognize the spot where the comma is missing?

Well . . . it would be great if there were a quick fix for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors, but the simple truth is that all writers grapple with them for a long time. Yet even if you are not a “comma whiz,” you can still catch many mistakes if you are willing to read your work slooowly and carefully.

The following paragraphs have a number of the common mechanical errors listed here:

English Review Note

Edit for these common errors: (1) missing articles (“an,” “a,” “the”) (2) missing parts of verb forms and tenses (ex: I have study studied English for two years.).

Common Errors

· Misspelled words

· Sound-alike words

· Missing words

· Wrong words

· Sentence fragments

· Comma splices

· Run-on sentences

· Faulty capitalizations

· Incorrect apostrophes

· Missing commas

· Unneeded commas

· Faulty pronoun reference

· Faulty pronoun agreement

· Verb tense shifts

Hint

Editing these practice paragraphs will help you with your own revision. To edit your work effectively, slow your reading to a crawl.

Conserve paper and time by revising and editing your paragraphs on the computer. Microsoft Word and other word-processing programs offer helpful editing features like “Track Changes” that help you keep track of as many drafts as you want—and comment on classmates’ papers.

1. Spelling errors: Use your computer’s spell checker first, and then try to find at least one other reader who is a fairly good speller. Remember, too, to consult a good dictionary.

2. Sound-alike words: A common example is using there for their or they’re. Keep adding sound-alike words that cause you problems to your Improvement Chart (in the back of this book), and try to memorize these repeat errors. Writers usually keep making the same handful of mistakes—unless they identify and correct them—till doomsday.

Hint

Look for these errors as you edit your own draft.

3. Missing words: Read slowly to detect these errors. Sometimes reading each sentence backwards can help, and covering the sentence ahead of the one you are editing can keep you from jumping ahead too quickly.

Hint

For help with spelling and sound-alike words, see Chapter 28.

4. Wrong words: Be suspicious of words that sound too fancy. If you often thumb through a thesaurus looking for words, you might be using them incorrectly. You probably already know words that express your meaning well, and, in most contexts, more common words are usually the best choices. Your readers can help by alerting you to words you may be using incorrectly, and then you can use a dictionary to decide.

5. Sentence fragments: Remember two common types of incomplete sentences:

Hint

For more on clarity, see Chapter 20.

You can correct most fragments (Chapter 23) by joining them to another sentence or adding words to make them complete sentences.

6. Comma splices/run-ons: These errors happen when two sentences are joined incorrectly with only a comma or with no punctuation at all:

7. There are at least five easy ways to fix these errors (Chapter 23).

8. Note: In dialogue, be careful to avoid this kind of comma splice:

· Roxanne shouted, “Get out of here, nobody gives a damn about you anyway!”

Instead write:

· Roxanne shouted, “Get out of here! Nobody gives a damn about you anyway!”

People often speak in short sentences and fragments. Don’t be afraid to use this kind of sentence in your dialogue.

English Review Note

In English, remember to capitalize days and months.

9. Capitalization: Capitalize each proper noun (a specific/unique person, place, or thing; see Chapter 27). In your titles capitalize most words, even little ones like is and one. But do not capitalize articles (a, an, the), prepositions (to, on, of, in, etc.), and coordinating conjunctions (and, but, so, etc.) unless these words begin or end a title or follow a colon.

10. Apostrophes: Use to show ownership or to mark the omission of a letter in a contraction: “Maria’s calculator isn’t working.”

Hint

See Chapter 27 for more on using apostrophes, commas, and other punctuation.

11. The Big Three comma categories: These categories govern perhaps half the common uses of the comma:

11. Use commas to introduce single words, phrases, and subordinate adverb clauses before a main clause (cue words: because, as, if, when, etc.).

11. Use commas to enclose nonessential words, phrases, or clauses within a main clause or to set them off at the end of a main clause (cue words: who/which, etc.).

11. Use commas to divide main clauses joined by and, but, or, so, yet, for, or nor.

1. Unnecessary commas: As you learn the handful of rules that help with comma placement, you will move away from the old standby: “I put commas where I hear pauses.” Using your ear helps with punctuation—but only about half the time: a 50 percent average. Try to avoid unneeded commas such as those in the following examples:

1. Faulty pronoun reference and agreement: Pronouns must refer to a specific noun, and they must agree with that noun in number:

Hint

For more on pronoun problems, see Chapter 25.

After editing as carefully as you can on your own, it is time to get help. Every writer—professional and beginner—benefits from having others look at his or her work. You will undoubtedly spend class time in collaborative editing, but don’t stop there. Work with your instructor. If your school has a writing center, you will find wonderful support there to help you through every stage of the process, including editing.

Journal / Blog Entry 4.3

When your draft is in good shape—with the important details in place, words carefully chosen, and sentences flowing well—review your Improvement Chart to focus on pattern errors. Slooowly edit your paper, word by word, line by line. In your journal or on your blog, list three errors from your draft, and then show the corrections. What steps are you taking to avoid repeating these errors?

Proofreading is the last step in preparing your paper. Assuming that you have closely edited your draft and caught most of the mechanical errors, you can now print out a final copy, the one you will turn in for a grade. You might think you are finished because, after all, you have just spent several hours editing. But there are still common problems to check for, ones you can correct before your instructor does.

How to Proofread and Prepare Your Final Manuscript

1. Check for typographical errors such as misspelled, run-together, and omitted words. Often, when fixing errors in the editing stage, writers slip up in small ways on the keyboard. Be sure to spell check once again.

2. Check the following items carefully: font size (use 12-point type), line spacing (double space, including the heading), margins (1 inch), and title capitalization.

3. Spell check any required material, such as outlines and audience profiles.

4. Staple or paper clip your pages. Avoid putting the paper in a plastic sleeve. (Most instructors find these more troublesome than impressive.)

On the following page, you will find both a title page and a one-paragraph paper without a title page. Check with your instructor to see which format he or she prefers. Notice that the title in both cases is neither underlined nor enclosed in quotation marks, and all information is double-spaced.

Journal / Blog Entry 4.4

Reflecting for a moment on the work you did in and out of class to produce your final draft, take 5 minutes to write a paragraph telling your instructor about what challenges you had to overcome, how you dealt with them, and what strategies you think might be most important to apply to your upcoming writing assignments this semester.

Feedback

Comment on other students’ findings and experiences, sharing strategies for successful revising.

You will have the opportunity to practice more specific revision techniques in each assignment chapter of this text; for information on revising essay-length work, see Chapter 14. Revising is a valuable skill you will practice in all of your classes and, as discussed on page 63, in every part of your life. Revision means improvement in your writing, and that’s the goal of this class.

1. Revising is a common process that people go through in any activity at which they want to improve.

2. Revision can be done alone, but writers profit from the input of others.

3. Revising is an ongoing act that writers follow throughout the process of producing their final work.

4. It is more effective to revise for larger concerns in rougher drafts, working on overall organization and content rather than style and editing issues.

5. As drafts progress, writers should pay more attention to style concerns.

6. When drafts are largely complete, writers focus on serious editing for mechanical errors. An Improvement Chart (see the back of this book) can be especially useful during editing.

7. After a draft has been edited closely and printed out as a “final” copy, writers should proofread one last time.

Chapter 12

Introducing the Essay

List five processes, skills, or techniques from earlier chapters that have prepared you for writing the college essay. How might you apply one or more of them in this chapter? What will likely be challenging about writing in a longer form?

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Key Topics

· What is an essay?

· Writing introductory paragraphs

· Crafting thesis sentences

· Developing introductions

· Avoiding weak introductions

· Writing body paragraphs

· Writing concluding paragraphs

· Avoiding weak conclusions

· Creating coherence

· Selecting a title

Although we worked through many challenging single-paragraph assignments in Unit Two, the essay may still seem intimidating. In truth, though, an essay is largely an expanded paragraph, written for the same reasons (to entertain, inform, or persuade) and complete with parts you already know: an introduction, body, and conclusion. Transitioning from writing paragraphs to writing essays is a matter of applying skills learned in a smaller setting to a larger one. The learning curve might remind you of driving on the highway after practicing on back roads or of climbing a small mountain after practicing on your gym’s climbing wall.

While essays may have dozens of body paragraphs—and others to introduce and conclude them—many are relatively brief, as are the ones in this unit. While we write short essays of five to six paragraphs, we will practice all the strategies for discovering, organizing, and developing ideas we learned earlier in the term, and we will learn about an important focusing statement—the thesis.

English Review Note

Note the English paragraph form; its structure may differ from paragraphs in your native language.

In Chapter 3, we saw that a body paragraph and an essay have many similarities. Both should begin with a controlling point, support that point with detailed examples and explanations, and end decisively. The illustration on this page shows how body paragraphs and essays are related.

The body paragraph often begins with a topic sentence (main point) while the essay begins with a paragraph that usually contains a thesis sentence (main point), often positioned as the last sentence in the paragraph. Notice in the illustration on the preceding page how the first arrow shows this relationship. Topic and thesis sentences are comparable, except that because essays are more fully developed, the thesis may need to allow for the fuller treatment of a subject.

Hint

See the second, third, and fourth arrows in the preceding illustration.

As we saw in Chapter 7, body paragraphs that develop several primary examples begin each example with a subtopic sentence to introduce the main point. Similarly, body paragraphs in essays usually begin with a topic sentence to predict the main point. Both subtopic and topic sentences are then developed with detailed examples and explanations.

Body paragraphs end with one or two sentences while brief essays end with one paragraph, as the fifth arrow indicates. In both cases, a writer finishes by referring back to the paper’s main point—found in the topic or thesis sentence. Body paragraphs sometimes summarize with a few words while essays often use a sentence or more.

To see how a paragraph might grow into an essay, let’s compare paragraph and essay student models, both of them versions of “Dangers in a Deli,” especially noting the beginnings, endings, and development.

English Review Note

Reading and analyzing paragraph models is a good way to learn what is expected of writers in academic English.

As you compare the paragraph and essay models, you might notice the chief differences between them: length, introduction, and conclusion.

· Length: You can increase length in two ways: by adding examples and by developing them. The deli paragraph of 200 words grew into an essay of 575 words not by using more main examples but by developing those already there.

· Introduction: Whereas the deli paragraph is introduced by a sentence, which serves to focus what follows, the deli essay is introduced by a paragraph, which does that and much more. Specifically, the essay’s thesis (main point) is similar to the paragraph’s topic sentence, and the author has added a lead-in sentence to “hook” readers, along with several more sentences to maintain the readers’ interest and lead into the thesis.

· Conclusion: Rather than ending with a single sentence, the deli essay uses a concluding paragraph. The lead sentence includes a connector, a brief summary of the essay’s main points, and a link to the thesis. Instead of merely trailing off, the author finishes decisively with an expanded thought. Note that the expanded thought has changed in the essay, from safety training to good times.

As we move ahead in Chapter 12, you will learn how to transform simple paragraphs into more complex essays.

Hint

In developing a paragraph into an essay, you might change the expanded thought.

If you began some of your one-paragraph papers with two or three sentences you then trimmed back, you have already written partial introductory paragraphs. In the context of these shorter papers, full-fledged introductions would have been distracting to readers. Now, however, you can develop these sentences and arrange them for greater interest and force.

Introductory paragraphs serve an important function: engaging readers’ interest. If a reader is disappointed by or disinterested in the first few sentences of an essay, why should he or she continue? You can make your introductions interesting and well focused by including the following parts:

· Hook: one sentence (first sentence in the introductory paragraph)

· Development: three or four sentences (middle sentences)

· Thesis: one sentence (often the last sentence in the introductory paragraph)

The thesis sentence is the most important part of your introduction. By naming the topic and making a statement about it, the thesis sentence guides readers through the essay, just as a topic sentence guides them through a paragraph. If you are expanding a paragraph from Unit Two, your topic sentence, essentially unchanged, may serve as your thesis sentence. However, if in expanding the paragraph you are adding points or changing a main example, you may need to rewrite your topic sentence so that it further focuses your essay. Even if you are not making such changes, you might still want to polish the wording. Compare the topic and thesis sentences from the paragraph and essay versions of “Dangers in a Deli”:

Clearly, both sentences express the same point; however, the thesis targets an audience more precisely (potential deli employees) and uses a more specific phrase (emergency room) for emphasis.

Writers may use several sentences to express their thesis, locate it outside the introduction, or, occasionally, only imply rather than state it. For example, when arguing to a potentially resistant audience, a writer might delay the thesis. However, to keep both yourself and your readers oriented in your essay, it helps to make the thesis the last sentence in the first paragraph.

Hint

Position the thesis as the last sentence in your first paragraph to keep yourself and your readers oriented.

When you write a thesis sentence, be sure to do the following:

1. Limit the topic.

2. Make a clear statement about the topic.

3. Refine the statement by explaining it clearly and using specific words, action words, and sensory details.

A thesis sentence should be midway between general and specific—general enough to need focused examples to illustrate it, and specific enough to need only as many of those examples as the writer intends to give. The Language Line from Chapter 5 can help us see the general-specific range and locate the thesis:

Hint

For more on general and specific language, see Chapter 5.

Often, the writer begins with a fairly general thesis and, in part through trial and error, discovers the focus needed to sufficiently limit it. Notice how the following thesis sentence becomes increasingly focused until it could guide the drafting of “Dangers in a Deli”:

Like a topic sentence, a thesis sentence can include a forecasting statement. Thus, the example could be expanded as follows:

Hint

Forecasting an essay’s main points can be an effective addition to a thesis sentence.

Sometimes, the thesis sentence might be limited enough, but the statement it makes about the topic isn’t clear. The problem may be in the wording of the sentence or the thinking behind it. Consider the following thesis:

The writer evidently wants to discuss some aspect of how TV violence affects children—a reasonably limited topic for an essay. However, as this thesis sentence is phrased, it’s not clear where the essay is going. There are two possible directions, and the writer needs to revise the thesis to indicate one or the other:

Aside from the thesis that goes astray through faulty wording or thinking, there is the thesis that meanders, like a lazy, old river until it finally arrives at the end—sort of. Consider the following example:

Hint

Watch out for the meandering thesis sentence.

Besides being too long for a thesis (or most any other) sentence, this example includes too many ideas—though most are worthwhile and could be useful elsewhere in the essay.

How long is too long or too short for a thesis sentence? While there is no set rule, a medium-length sentence of 15 to 30 words generally works well. Some thesis sentences can be quite short for dramatic impact; others run to 40 words or more. As long as your thesis is clear, the word count should not be an issue.

A thesis sentence that is well crafted can imply its focus; what is important is that it not hide it. For example, an essay dealing with effects might use either of these thesis sentences:

Hint

Thesis sentences are often between 15 and 30 words long.

Hint

Thesis sentences may artfully imply the focus of an essay.

Version A clearly states the topic and even uses the word “effects.” But version B also clearly states the topic while implying that the essay will develop effects. Contrast these two thesis sentences with the following one:

Undecided, or “waffling,” thesis sentences like this make it difficult for readers to know where the essay is headed.

Hint

Polish thesis sentences through specific words, action words, and sensory details.

Few of us will immediately hit upon the perfect thesis sentence and then go tearing into an essay. Instead, we will most likely need to work on the thesis, revising it for clarity and style, often using specific words, action words, and sensory details to make it more interesting.

With the deli essay, we can see one example of a writer upgrading her thesis:

Version B, aside from more directly addressing readers, includes the specific words emergency room to show where they might be headed if they do not pay attention to the information in the essay. The next two example sentences add action words and sensory details:

However, the point in refining your thesis is not to cram as many action words or sensory details into it as possible. In fact, sensory details may not even be right for your topic. For example, the author of “Dangers in a Deli” polished her thesis sentence without including these action words and sensory details. The point is to look critically at your work with an eye to making a passable thesis sentence a powerful one.

Revise the following rough thesis sentences, underlining any specific words, action words, or sensory details that you add.

· EXAMPLE: Rough thesis: A sense of humor has been useful to me.

1. Rough thesis: Winter is hard on the world.

Revised thesis: _____________________________________________________

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2. Rough thesis: I know how to make my wife (husband, girl/boyfriend) happy.

Revised thesis: ______________________________________________________

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3. Rough thesis: There is one kind of party that is sure to attract the police.

Revised thesis: _______________________________________________________

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4. Rough thesis: Buying gifts that will be well received is not easy since you need to pick the right gift.

Revised thesis: ________________________________________________________

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5. Rough thesis: Extreme sports fall into several different categories.

Revised thesis: ________________________________________________________

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Hint

Use your imagination, have some fun, and remember that even small additions can be real improvements.

With a clear thesis sentence to end the introduction, you have a strong start to your essay. To lead readers to that thesis, use any of the following methods:

Hint

Some writers prefer to begin an essay draft with only a thesis, composing the introduction later.

Hint

These methods are often combined.

Strategies for Introductions

1. Description

2. Narration

3. Comparison/contrast

4. Cause and effect

5. Definition

6. Persuasion

7. Question(s)

8. Background information/history (including why the topic is important to you)

9. Startling information

10. Reversal

11. Combination of several methods

To see these methods in action, read through the following introductions for “Dangers in a Deli.” Notice that these different introductions can each lead to the same thesis sentence. The thesis sentence is shaded, and the “hook,” or lead-in sentence, discussed in the next section, is underlined.

Hint

For more on you and pronoun shift problems, see Chapter 25.

Note: In these introductions, you will see the word you. It is appropriate in this situation because the author is directly addressing readers. However, you is frequently overused in student writing; use it only in contexts in which you are sure it is appropriate.

There are at least ten basic methods for developing introductory paragraphs:

Remember, too, that lively, interesting introductions rarely just fall from the sky. You must bring beginnings to life. So apply the same prewriting methods to this paragraph that you do to the body of the essay: Plan on clustering, listing, freewriting, and so forth to discover ideas.

Pick one of the thesis sentences you created for Activity 12.1. For three different introductory paragraphs, write five to seven sentences leading to this thesis.

1. List the method number(s): ____________________________________________________

Begin the introductory paragraph: _______________________________________________

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Thesis sentence: ____________________________________________________________

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2. List the method number(s): ___________________________________________________

Begin the introductory paragraph: ______________________________________________

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Thesis sentence: ____________________________________________________________

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3. List the method number(s): ____________________________________________________

Begin the introductory paragraph: _______________________________________________

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Thesis sentence: _____________________________________________________________

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Hint

Review the ten methods listed on pages 272–274, and remember that you can combine several.

If the introduction as a whole is important to draw readers in, then its lead sentence, the hook, is especially so. The first sentence should “hook” the fish, your readers, arousing their interest and encouraging them to forge ahead. In creating hooks, keep these points in mind:

1. Do not state the obvious.

2. Do say something that will interest readers.

Looking back at “Dangers in a Deli,” note how the author, Catherine Denning, managed her hook:

Would you like to keep all of your body parts intact today? How about your eyesight, how much do you value it, or that brain that keeps your body functioning? Catherine wrote this essay with an audience of newly hired deli employees in mind. While most people are presumably interested in keeping all their “body parts intact,” the new employee who will soon be operating the slicer might feel like paying special attention. Notice that the hook is phrased as a question and that it begins to answer a question most readers ask: “Why should I read this essay?” Also note that the hook extends into the next sentence. For our purposes, we will talk about the hook as the first sentence, realizing that it can be more than one sentence and that it should blend easily into the rest of the introduction.

Methods for Creating Hooks

1. Ask a question.

2. Begin with a line of dialogue.

3. Begin with a quotation.

4. Make a startling statement.

5. Present an unusual fact.

6. Use a vivid image.

7. Create a comparison (possibly a metaphor or simile).

8. Use a combination of methods.

Hint

A hook can be created by combining several methods.

Hooks, like the rest of the introduction up to the thesis sentence, are largely interchangeable, often overlapping pieces that can vary as much as a writer’s imagination allows. For example, Catherine could have begun her essay with any of the following sentences:

In contrast, here are three sentences that would make poor hooks:

Hint

Obvious statements make poor hooks.

Such obvious statements arouse no curiosity; in fact, they would likely discourage readers from enjoying what might be an interesting essay.

Choose one of the introductory paragraphs that you wrote in Activity 12.2, and revise the first sentence to create a more interesting hook.

First sentence of one paragraph from Activity 12.2: _______________________________

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Your revision of the hook: ___________________________________________________

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Revise the following boring hooks, using three of the methods suggested above or some of your own.

1. Topic of essay: The day I won the lottery

Boring hook: Sometimes good things happen to people.

Interesting hooks:

Version 1: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 2: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 3: _____________________________________________________________

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2. Topic of essay: Causes of a divorce

Boring hook: Sometimes marriages don’t work out.

Interesting hooks:

Version 1: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 2: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 3: _____________________________________________________________

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3. Topic of essay: How difficult returning to college can be for nontraditional students

Boring hook: A college education can be very valuable.

Interesting hooks:

Version 1: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 2: _____________________________________________________________

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Version 3: _____________________________________________________________

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Introductions can go wrong in various ways—sometimes several at the same time. Try to avoid the following problems:

1. Beginning with obvious statements. One boring sentence likely breeds another, and this often predicts an uninteresting essay. Consider this dull opener: “It was a day like any other day, with weather, people moving about, and cars going from one place to another. The weather was not particularly hot or cold, the people were not extraordinary, and the cars were not really moving all that fast either.” Remember that your reader is wondering, “Why should I read this essay?”

2. Stating that you are getting ready to write an essay about something. Here are two examples to avoid: “In this essay I will tell you about . . .” and “The first part of my essay will discuss . . . and the next paragraph will say . . . .”

3. Apologizing for what you may not know. Avoid beginning your essay with any of these openers: “Although I do not know much about this topic . . .” and “There are experts who know a lot more about this subject than I do . . .” and “I managed to find out a little bit about this subject, and so I can say something about it.” Writers are asking readers for their time. If you begin by telling readers that you don’t have much worth saying, why should they waste time reading your work?

4. Needlessly repeating information. Consider this opening: “Some students have problems with their schoolwork. When they do their work, it is often difficult for them. The homework and in-class work is hard to complete, and so many students—as hard as they work—find that they have a lot of trouble getting the work done.” By now, readers have gotten the point—and are probably sleeping on it.

5. Using clichés and worn expressions. Think about these tired phrases: “Caught between a rock and a hard place,” “after what seemed like an eternity,” and “with butterflies in my stomach.” If a fresh figure of speech doesn’t occur to you, use a literal phrase. Say, for example, “caught in a difficult situation” in place of the first cliché.

6. Writing overly long or overly short introductions. Introductions should be in proportion to the rest of the work. A book, for instance, might use a whole chapter, while an essay of fifteen pages might need only a paragraph or two. Our brief essay introductions will be well developed in five to seven sentences—about a hundred words.

Hint

For more on effective repetition, see Chapter 20.

Hint

For more on clichés and worn phrases, see Chapter 20.

Working in a group, decide which five of the following six introductory paragraphs are ineffective. Explain why each is ineffective. Then rewrite one of them, using a method listed or one of your own. Optional: Share your group’s revisions with the larger class; see what different choices groups have made.

1. Credit cards can be a real problem for anyone, especially college students. In this essay I will first discuss how much of a problem they can be, and then I will provide some solutions to this situation. Before I am through, I will show—in paragraph four to be exact—how irresponsible it is of the credit card companies to scatter their cards around so that anyone can get one. In my conclusion I will tell readers where to go to get more information on the problem.

2. Some people argue that IMing contributes to bad writing. After all, they say, look at how people dash off those notes, and look at all the obvious errors in them. However, IM can actually make people better writers.

3. Many Americans insist on driving new vehicles, even if they do cost an arm and a leg. These people seem to think that new is automatically better, but I think half the time the supposed new technology is just recreating the wheel. Who needs electric windows when a crank will do the same job? Who needs a $500 antenna that pops up and down like a jack in the box? My old ‘96 Toyota pickup truck with its 115,000 miles is still as good as gold and better than most of the new products on the market. I prefer driving an older vehicle for several good reasons.

4. I don’t know a lot about professional sports, but it seems to me that the players make an awful lot of money. Take for instance professional baseball players. They make a ton of money. Why I think I remember reading about a month ago how some pitcher signed a $5,000,000 contract! This seems like too much money for someone who just throws a baseball. And, even though I am no authority, I’ll bet it’s even worse for football and basketball. I think these guys make even more! All these high salaries are bound to have negative effects on professional sports.

5. Most people want to be happy. They want to feel good about themselves and the world around them. They like to wake up in the morning feeling good, go through the day without many problems, and then come home at night to a relaxing sleep. People don’t want a lot of anxiety in their lives; they prefer to be stress free. But not everyone is lucky enough to have a good life. And if a person is not lucky, he needs to take responsibility on his own shoulders, to carry the weight of his own life. The fact is that happiness is not something that just happens for most people; they have to work for it.

6. “Dammit, Jack,” the shift manager yelled at me, “that’s the third time you burned those fries tonight! Get your head together or get a new job!” I stood there looking at my feet on the greasy tile floor, hating to take it, but apologizing anyway to keep my job. Around me rang out all the noise of a McDonald’s Friday night: ovens beeping, warmers buzzing, pans clanging, deep fat fryer popping, Vera calling back for more Big Macs, kids crying up front from waiting too long in this so-called fast-food restaurant. That’s when I finally decided I had had enough. I had to get a new life. The way I’ve chosen to escape from McDonald’s is to enroll in college, and this first semester has been full of challenges for me.

Ineffective paragraphs: _________________________________________________

Reasons that each introduction is weak: ____________________________________

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One weak introduction rewritten: __________________________________________

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Creating Introductory Paragraphs—Summing Up

1. Write out a working thesis sentence.

2. Skim the introductory paragraph methods, the methods for writing a hook, and the tips for avoiding weak introductions.

3. Prewrite using one or more of the introductory paragraph methods.

4. Draft your introduction.

Hint

Some writers prefer to draft using only a thesis for focus and then create an introduction after the body is complete.

Introductory paragraphs take the first step of attracting and then focusing a reader, but then the writer must follow through, keeping the essay interesting. We do this in the body paragraphs, where we present most of our information.

Essay body paragraphs begin with a topic sentence, as did the Unit Two assignments, and sometimes end with a summarizing sentence, similar to our Unit Two concluding sentence. Also, you will sometimes find a subtopic sentence useful, depending on how many points you want to develop in the paragraph. Whereas our former body paragraphs were around 300 words, now we will reduce the length to 100–200 words, around five to eight sentences.

Here are the three main parts of body paragraphs:

· Topic sentence: connector + topic + statement (first sentence)

· Development: four to six sentences (middle sentences)

· Summary sentence (optional): restatement of paragraph’s main idea (last sentence)

Topic sentences develop the thesis, offering the more specific points or examples from which the essay will grow. Within each topic sentence, it is important to name and focus the point or example and to include a link to the preceding paragraph—a transition or other connector.

Notice how the topic sentence in the following paragraph uses several connectors (boxed) to link to the previous paragraph and to link this main example (slicer) to the thesis, the dangers of deli work.

Hint

In an essay expanded from a paragraph, the subtopic sentences in the paragraph become topic sentences.

Hint

Always use strong connectors between body paragraphs. To review methods for coherence, see pp. 53–59.

To conclude longer body paragraphs, writers sometimes create a summary sentence like the one underlined in the preceding paragraph. These sentences can be useful because they reinforce and clarify an author’s message. However, in short paragraphs, they can become repetitive, boring readers. You must judge for yourself when summary sentences will be effective in your essays.

Hint

Summary sentences can be useful in body paragraphs.

Whether expanding a single-paragraph assignment or beginning an essay from scratch, you need to develop your main points, which you can do by using detailed examples and explanations (see pp. 42–49) and asking yourself, “How can I more clearly show my readers what I am saying?”

By comparing a major example (subtopic) from the paragraph version of “Dangers in a Deli” with the corresponding body paragraph in the essay version, we can see how one writer used details and explanations to make her paragraph grow:

Hint

Development of ideas relies on examples, details, and explanations.

Notice how the single-paragraph subtopic of 57 words grew to an essay body paragraph of 121 words. The author held in mind her main idea of danger—specifically, slippery floors—and, through prewriting, found more detailed examples and explanations, which she developed using the patterns of process analysis and cause and effect.

Hint

To generate more ideas for your body paragraphs, use your favorite prewriting methods.

Hint

Essays grow through many patterns of development.

In Unit Two, where we focused on individual patterns of development, we saw that patterns could be combined. In Unit Three, we will see even more clearly that substantial, artful development comes through combining many of these patterns:

· Description: using vivid details to show something about a subject

· Narration: telling a brief story to make a point about a subject

· Illustration: giving examples to illustrate some point

· Classification/division: grouping a subject or breaking it into parts

· Cause/effect: telling what actions affect a subject or what effects flow from it

· Process analysis: telling how a subject works

· Comparison/contrast: showing how a subject is like and unlike similar subjects

· Definition: telling the essential characteristics of a subject

· Persuasion: trying to move someone to agreement or action

English Review Note

Remember that, unlike writing in some other languages, English writing begins with a strong and direct statement. While you may refer back to this main idea in body paragraphs or your conclusion, you do not need to repeat it multiple times for emphasis.

Revise the following underdeveloped body paragraphs, using several patterns of development, detailed examples, and explanations. Topic sentences are shaded. Remember that you can use description and narration to create images and show people acting in a setting. Try for paragraphs of six to eight sentences.

1. Another problem with people who drink and drive is that they often can’t be trusted. Sometimes they say they haven’t been drinking at all. Other times they say they have had only one drink when it’s clear they have had more. Frequently, they go to a party saying that they will not drink at all. Right.

Revision: _____________________________________________________________

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2. However, the most annoying habit my younger brother has is fooling with the TV while we are all trying to watch it. Channel surfing is his specialty. He has many ways of sneaking the constant channel changing in. If there is a commercial, watch out. If you leave the room for a snack, it’s all over.

Revision: _____________________________________________________________

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3. In addition to the other signs of wealth in this country, when I first entered a supermarket, I found the abundance almost dazzling. Americans have more of everything than we have in Russia. The aisles seemed endlessly stocked with anything a person might need.

Revision: _____________________________________________________________

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Hint

For more on these patterns, see pp. 53, 84–89, 115–117, 122–123, 139–140, and 144–147.

To organize body paragraphs within essays, we use much the same logic that we used to organize subtopics within single-paragraph papers. A writer might choose any of these organizational patterns:

· Spatial: describing a place or other subject from front to back, side to side, top to bottom, and so on. If you were writing an essay (or part of one) describing a house as seen from a boat in the water, you might focus the first body paragraph on the dock and boathouse, the next on the yard, and the third on the house itself.

· Chronological: relating a series of actions in their order of occurrence. In writing personal narrative, fiction, or process analysis, you order your paragraphs chronologically—for example, Little Red Riding Hood first packed her basket of goodies, then walked into the woods, then met the wolf, then walked to her grandmother’s house, and so on.

· Order of importance: arranging from least to most dramatic (or most to least). Much expository and persuasive writing uses this method. For example, in “Dangers in a Deli,” the three body paragraphs go from least to most dangerous—from falls to chemical hazards to losing a finger.

Remember, also, that you may follow one of these patterns within a body paragraph, as we did in Unit Two. Although “Dangers in a Deli” uses least to most for overall arranging, within the body paragraphs the author relies more on time order, moving from slow to fast business while the clock ticks and customers arrive, as in this body paragraph:

Another aid in organizing essays is the outline. Our paragraph assignments from Unit Two often required short lists, but because essays are more complex, more detailed outlines can help you keep them on track. A formal sentence outline is probably not needed for short essays, but outlining primary examples and several supporting points is useful, as in the following example:

Informal Working Outline: “Dangers in a Deli”

However you outline, write your thesis where you can refer to it often, and list at least the main examples with supporting examples and details.

Even more than introductions, conclusions can pose problems for essay writers. How do you leave readers feeling that the promise made in the thesis sentence has been met and that the essay is decisively completed?

Hint

The conclusion should fulfill the promise made in the thesis sentence.

One way to provide a satisfying ending is to plan a concluding paragraph. Though many longer works use several paragraphs or even a chapter to conclude, you need only five to seven sentences (a hundred words or so) for your short essays. You can make these sentences interesting by using the familiar strategy of the expanded thought.

Hint

Introductions and conclusions should be tightly linked.

As you draft the concluding paragraph, be sure to create strong links to the introductory paragraph, and include the following elements:

· Lead sentence: one sentence (connector + link to thesis)

· Summary: one sentence or less

· Development: three or four sentences (often containing expanded thought)

Just as introductory and body paragraphs have a lead sentence (the hook and the topic sentence, respectively), so do concluding paragraphs. This first sentence of the conclusion includes a connector and often touches on the thesis. It may also give a brief summary of the essay’s main points. Alternately, the summary might be in the second sentence. Notice that in “Dangers in a Deli” the lead sentence includes the summary:

The author could have saved the summary for a second sentence:

The beginning of a concluding paragraph eases readers out of the main stream of the writer’s ideas and into his or her final comments, which wrap up the essay.

Hint

Effective writing leads readers carefully into the final thoughts.

After leading readers into the concluding paragraph, rather than meander for half a dozen empty, repetitive sentences, end your essay decisively. You can do this with the following strategies, most of which are already familiar:

Strategies for Conclusions

1. Frame: return to the image, comparison, story, and so on from the introductory paragraph.

2. Expanded thought:

1. Express an emotion.

2. Give a judgment, opinion, or evaluation.

3. Show how something has affected your behavior or outlook on life.

4. Ask a related question.

5. Make a reflective statement.

6. Suggest a course of action.

3. Combination of above methods

When you “frame” an essay, you return to the introduction and the method you used there (description, narration, comparison/contrast, and so on), extending that content. For example, here is an introduction for “Dangers in a Deli” that uses a narrative approach:

We can frame the essay by writing a conclusion that extends the narrative like this:

Another effective way to capture readers’ attention one last time is to offer an expanded thought. With this strategy, you take your audience one closely related step beyond the ideas in your body paragraphs, broadening your topic. You have probably already used this strategy in the final sentence of a one-paragraph paper, but now you can develop it. The following conclusions for the deli essay show different ways to use an expanded thought, with methods often overlapping. Lead and summary sentences are shaded.

For each of the following essays, write the thesis sentence and then, in your own words, the final expanded thought.

1. “The Jobs from Hell” (pp. 299–300)

Thesis sentence: ____________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Expanded thought: __________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. “A Skill beyond Price” (pp. 304–305)

Thesis sentence: ____________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Expanded thought: ___________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. “I’ll Park. You Get the Tickets—Hurry!” (pp. 319–320)

Thesis sentence: ____________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Expanded thought: ___________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Choose an introductory paragraph from Activity 12.2, and brainstorm to uncover several main examples for an essay that could grow from it. Next, write two concluding paragraphs for the essay. In one, use a frame; in the other, use one or more of the methods for writing an expanded thought.

1. Concluding paragraph using frame:

Lead sentence: _________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Summary sentence: _____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Development: _________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

2. Concluding paragraph using expanded thought (method number(s):

Lead sentence: _________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Summary sentence: _____________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Development: __________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Hint

You might combine the lead and summary sentences.

Hint

Avoid oversummarizing in conclusions.

Even knowing how to write strong final paragraphs, we sometimes stumble. Here are some common problems to avoid:

1. Under- or oversummarizing (and repeating). Some form of summary is used in almost all conclusions: The longer and more complex the essay, the longer and more detailed the summary might be. However, in brief essays, readers do not need much repetition of main points. A sentence or less is enough. Here is how the author of the deli essay might have over-summarized for a weak conclusion:

As you can see, there are plenty of dangers around a deli. It is all too easy for a person to slip and get hurt on a wet floor. And there are chemical hazards as well. Also, even experienced employees might have a serious problem with the meat and cheese slicer, so everyone needs to be extra careful around it. Because people can be seriously and permanently injured by falls, chemical burns, and cuts, they should be alert on the job at all times.

2. Telling readers that you are getting ready to end your essay. While you should connect your conclusion to the rest of your essay, avoid doing it with statements like these: “Well, as you can see, my essay is just about wrapped up,” “In conclusion, my thesis sentence has already told you . . .,” and “In the essay you have just read, I have tried to show . . . .”

3. Moving into an unrelated or too loosely related topic. Remember that an expanded thought should grow naturally from the body of the essay, an extension of the thesis. It should not move into a different topic. The following concluding paragraph for our deli essay shows this problem:

Cuts, chemical burns, concussions, and other dangers—with all these ways to be injured, a new person on the job might feel a little overwhelmed. But, you know, life is full of danger. People get hurt all the time. Why once when I was mowing a lawn, I wasn’t paying attention and sliced off the front of my right tennis shoe. I learned a lesson from that scare—watch what you’re doing when operating dangerous equipment, especially lawn mowers!

Clearly, the emphasis has shifted from the deli to lawn mowing.

4. Overgeneralizing. Expressing opinions and evaluating can be effective concluding strategies. However, it is important to qualify statements, so you don’t claim more than you can prove. Avoid assertions like these: “And so you can see no one has a good reason for watching a lot of television,” “Any student who tries hard can make good grades,” and “Everybody loves football.”

5. Apologizing. Apologizing is an ineffective concluding strategy, as is illustrated by these examples: “Although I do not know much about this topic, I have tried to show you . . .,” “Even though there are experts who know a lot more about this subject than I do . . .,” and “Although I am still kind of fuzzy about this topic, I hope you have learned something from my essay . . . .” You should appear confident in the conclusion. If you have serious doubts about the essay, why not revise it?

6. Using clichés and worn expressions. Beware of clichés like these: “There were butterflies in my stomach,” “All I had left was the shirt on my back,” and “No one could ever fill her shoes.” If a fresh figure of speech does not come to mind, use a literal phrase—for example, “I was nervous” in place of the butterfly cliché.

7. Making your conclusion too long or too short. Conclusions should be written in proportion to the rest of the work. Our brief essays can support a final paragraph of five to seven sentences—about a hundred words or so.

Hint

For more on qualifying, see pp. 376, 485–487.

Hint

For more on clichés and worn phrases, see Chapter 20.

Note: In each paragraph, lead and summary sentences are shaded.

Decide which five of the following six conclusions are ineffective. In each case, explain why it is ineffective. Next, on the lines that follow, rewrite any one of them, using a frame, one of the six methods for creating an expanded thought, or a method of your own.

1. Thesis: Rebuilding a carburetor is difficult, but with the right instructions most people can do it.

With all of the complicated steps in rebuilding a carburetor, from initially removing it to reinstallation, you might have trouble with it like I did. I got lost in the process myself several times, and I’m not sure that I included all the steps you will need to get the job done right. But I hope that I explained clearly enough and remembered the really important warnings that you ought to follow if you don’t want a big mess on your hands. If you think you can rebuild that carburetor now, then all I can say is “Good luck!”

2. Thesis: My two older brothers are as different as two people can be.

With two brothers whose personalities are this different—one a whirlwind, the other a couch potato—a person might think that I would have a favorite. But that is not the case. I love both of my brothers equally, and I find many activities that we can share—though usually two’s company, three’s a crowd.

3. Thesis: One way to group friends is by how long you have known them.

Friends are important in every person’s life. There are potential friends, recent friends, and long-time friends, all of whom have their places in the overall category of friends. Potential friends might become friends someday if circumstances are right. Recent friends might be good friends, but they don’t have a real track record yet. They might not hold up as good friends over the long haul. But long-time friends have proven themselves time and time again. A person knows that he can depend on long-time friends because they have been around for quite awhile and have shown their loyalty, support, and friendship many times over. For my money, the best and most valuable friends are long-time friends.

4. Thesis: A mother is much more than just the woman who carries a baby to term.

All of these qualities are necessary for a woman to be a truly great mother. Mothers must be able to maintain their children on a daily basis, care for them when they are sick, teach and model behavior, and, most important, love them even when they are being unlovable. A friend of mine gave her baby up for adoption and was worried that when the child grew older, he might think his birth mother had abandoned him. I reassured my friend that adoptive mothers can do a terrific job of raising children and that she had made the right decision. At seventeen my friend is too young to take on the responsibility of raising a child. Giving the baby to a responsible, more mature, and financially stable parent was a wise choice.

5. Thesis: Lying to loved ones is a bad idea because it is ultimately self-destructive.

Telling even small “white” lies is dangerous in a relationship, much less the big lies that are the instant death of friendship. The guilt and worry over being caught often lead to a slow but undeniable distancing from our spouse, significant other, child, or friend. And this is, perhaps, the greatest damage done. Once the lies begin, they become easier to tell, but not easier to deal with. Instead of creating new, fun memories, we spend too much energy trying to make the stories we have told mesh. Lies take us away from the ones we love a little bit at a time. Instead of many shared memories in the house of our relationships, we have few . . . and then fewer. Even if the ones we love never catch us in the Big Lie, we can still trap ourselves, finally, in an empty room of our own making.

6. Thesis: While driving in their cars, people should use cell phones only for urgent business or emergencies.

Accidents like the ones just mentioned are the most important reason not to overuse cell phones, but wasting money, missing out on the world, and being inconsiderate to passengers are also important reasons. Cell phones are a nuisance. They don’t really have any place in cars and ought to be outlawed. How in the world did people survive, after all, ten years ago (and five thousand years before that) without these obnoxious little time eaters? There is no good reason to yak away on a cell phone when people are never any farther away from a stationary phone than a 5-minute drive.

Ineffective paragraphs: __________________________________________________

Reasons the conclusions are weak: ________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

One weak conclusion rewritten: ___________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Creating Concluding Paragraphs—Summing Up

1. Look over your thesis sentence and the main points in your body paragraphs.

2. Review the discussion of writing a lead sentence and summary.

3. Draft a lead sentence and summary that link to your thesis sentence and main points.

4. Review the methods for expanding a thought and the ways of avoiding weak conclusions.

5. Decide on a frame and/or an expanded thought.

6. Prewrite, focusing on a frame or method for expanding a thought.

7. Draft the rest of your conclusion.

Hint

Review examples or ideas you cut from body paragraphs to see if one might work as an expanded thought.

Hint

Pay special attention to linking paragraphs.

In Unit Two, we learned how critical it is to create coherence by linking words within and between sentences, especially between subtopics. Essays also require strong connectors, especially between paragraphs.

Five Ways to Create Coherence

1. Transitions: using linking words in various categories, including:

· Locating or moving in space: above, against, around, behind, below, on, in

· Moving in time: after, at last, awhile, first, next, now, often, then

· Adding material: again, also, and, in addition, furthermore, as well as

· Giving examples: for example, for instance, another, one reason, in fact

· Comparing: alike, also, both, in the same way, similarly

· Contrasting: in contrast, although, but, differs from, even though, however

· Cause/effect: and so, as a result, because, consequently, since, so, then

· Summarizing/concluding: finally, in brief, in other words, in short

2. Repetition: repeating a significant word from a preceding sentence

3. Synonyms: using a word equivalent to one in a preceding sentence

4. Pronouns: using words like he, she, they, that, this

5. Reference to a main idea: reminding readers of some important point in a preceding sentence

The following concluding paragraph illustrates these coherence methods.

Hint

For a longer list of transitions and more on coherence methods within paragraphs, turn to pp. 53–59.

The title is your first opportunity to impress readers, and most of us would like to have them think, “Hmm . . . interesting, I wonder what this is about?” Creating an engaging title represents a last bit of attention to an essay, and this effort inclines readers to think that the rest of the work is developed with equal care.

Strategies for Creating a Good Title

1. Keep the title relatively short—around one to eight words.

2. Link the title to your main idea, central point, or dominant impression.

3. Create an image: Use a metaphor/simile, specific words, action words, and/or sensory details.

4. Ask a question.

5. Make a play on words.

6. Refer to something that your readers might know about and find interesting.

Hint

This list of reminders will help you create an interesting title when you are putting the finishing touches on your essay. For more on titles, see pp. 59–60.

You will write essays of some sort in most of your college classes; as you advance to more complex writing assignments in higher-level courses, you can always refer back to Chapter 12 of this text and review the shape and purpose of an essay. Different instructors (and subject areas) will require you to write in different forms and in a variety of lengths, but the lessons learned here provide a solid foundation for approaching future templates. As you get more comfortable writing in any form, you will find you can bend more rules and experiment more with combining patterns. The remaining chapters in Unit Three will help you expand paragraphs into essays, revise essays, write definition and persuasive essays, and use research in your papers.

1. An essay is a group of related paragraphs that develop an overall point.

2. Like a single body paragraph, an essay requires an introduction, development, and a conclusion.

3. The most obvious differences between a single-paragraph paper and an essay are that the essay is longer and has full paragraphs to introduce and conclude it.

4. Introductory paragraphs usually consist of a hook, development, and a thesis.

5. Thesis sentences are like topic sentences except that they may be slightly more general because the essay that follows a thesis will include more complex examples, details, and explanations than found in a paragraph.

6. There are many methods for developing interesting introductions, including using one of the patterns of development, such as narration, comparison/contrast, questions, or background information.

7. Body paragraphs often begin with topic sentences and sometimes end with summary sentences.

8. Concluding paragraphs consist of a lead sentence, a summary, and development.

9. Concluding paragraphs may be developed in several ways, including using a frame and/or an expanded thought.

10. Essays should be both unified (all material is relevant) and coherent (all sentences are clearly linked).

11. A title is an important finishing touch, and there are strategies for creating interesting titles.

Chapter 21

Working with Sentence Parts

Like the table being assembled in the picture, sentences also consist of many pieces. Before reading further in this chapter, what sentence parts (such as nouns and verbs) do you remember from your earlier education? Write a paragraph telling how much sentence grammar you still recall and discussing how you felt about learning it.

© Rainer Holz/zefa/ Corbis

Key Topics

· Reviewing the parts of speech

· Identifying the part of speech a word belongs to

· Recognizing the verbs and subjects of simple sentences

· Phrases

· Clauses

· Sentence types

Most of A Writer’s Workshop has focused on helping you discover, organize, develop, and revise ideas. However, once those ideas are in place, you must take the next step by expressing them in sentences that are clear to an audience. By learning the basic parts of a sentence, you will better manage them; and in seeing the relationship among the parts, you will punctuate more effectively as well.

All of the words in sentences fall into eight traditional categories based on how they function. These word categories are called the parts of speech.

The Eight Parts of Speech

1. Verbs express an action or state of being: run, is.

2. Nouns name a person, place, thing, concept, or quality: Tom, Idaho, rock, freedom, pleasure.

3. Pronouns stand in place of a noun: he, her, they, who, their, it.

4. Adjectives describe nouns and pronouns: hard chair, someone strong.

5. Adverbs describe verbs, adjectives, and adverbs: running quickly, very angry, too busily.

6. Prepositions shape nouns and pronouns into phrases: on the table, near her.

7. Conjunctions connect words, phrases, and clauses: cats and dogs, on my desk or in that drawer, they left because we left.

8. Interjections emphasize emotions: Oh! Ouch!

We seldom use all of the parts of speech in any one sentence, but we often use many in our most common expressions, as in the following sentence, where they are identified by number:

Once we see examples from each category and how each works, we will learn where sentences begin and end and how to manage more complex sentences.

English Review Note

Every English sentence requires a verb.

English Review Note

In English, capitalize proper nouns, including days of the week and months of the year.

Verbs, along with nouns, are the core of sentences. The verb expresses an action or state of being, and the nouns (or pronouns) perform or receive the action or experience the state of being. Verbs are of several types:

1. Action verbs show something happening—physically, mentally, or emotionally.

1. Zeus hurled a lightning bolt across the sky.

2. Aristotle reflected on the cause.

3. Zeus’s behavior often angered his wife, Hera.

2. Being verbs (or linking verbs) tell about a state of being. The verb be in its various forms (am, are, is, was, were, been, being) is the most common of these verbs. Others include look, sound, taste, smell, appear, feel, seem, become, remain, get, and grow.

1. Sheryl is an intelligent woman.

2. Max seemed very nervous.

3. Hot chocolate with marshmallows tastes good in the winter.

3. Helping verbs help the main verb of a sentence express meaning. With the main verb, they create a unit called a verb phrase. Common helping verbs include be, have, do, may, might, must, can, could, should, and would.

Notice that the main verb is at the end of the verb phrase. When be is followed by another verb, be is a helping verb.

In addition to a base form (work), verbs have an infinitive form (to work) and can occur in various tenses, which show action as present, past, or future: “John works today, worked yesterday, and will work again tomorrow.” (See Chapter 24.)

Hint

For more on using general and specific language, see Chapter 5.

English Review Note

Nouns are often introduced by articles: the, a, and an:

· The introduces a noun that is referring to something specific or already known to the reader (the flock of sparrows that damaged my rice crop; the sun).

· A and an introduce a noun that is not referring to something specific or known to the reader (a flock of sparrows). Use a in front of words that begin with a consonant sound (a rock) and an in front of words that begin with a vowel sound (an egg). Keep in mind that it is the sound, not the letter, that matters: an F in chemistry, an hour, a used car.

As mentioned previously, nouns, along with verbs, form the core of our sentences, telling who or what is doing or receiving the action of the verb. Nouns can be relatively specific and concrete (snow) or relatively general and abstract (cold). Here are five categories:

1. Proper nouns name specific people (Maria Gonzalez), places (Kansas City), things (Statue of Liberty), and concepts (Judaism).

2. Common nouns name nonspecific people (woman), places (city), things (statue), concepts (religion), and qualities (width). Common nouns may be count or noncount nouns.

3. Count nouns name objects that can be quantified or enumerated: rock, dress, car, trouble. They generally form their plurals by adding -s or -es.

4. Noncount nouns name objects that cannot be counted: sunlight, music, air. They have no plural form.

5. Collective nouns name a group that is considered a unit and so is grammatically singular: team, family, gathering, band. (See Chapter 24.)

Pronouns are words that take the place of nouns. Like nouns, they can perform the action in a sentence (“She ran up a horrendous credit card debt”) or receive the action (“Anna kicked it [the ball] downfield”). Because pronouns have no identity on their own, they must refer to a noun. Readers can easily be confused if a writer does not always make the link clear between a pronoun and noun.

Types of Pronouns

1. Personal pronouns: I, you, he, she, it, we, they, me, her, him, us, them

2. Indefinite pronouns: all, any, anybody, anything, both, each, everybody, everyone, everything, few, many, more, most, much, nobody, none, no one, one, several, some, somebody, someone, something

3. Relative pronouns: who, which, that (whom, whose, what, whatever, whichever, whoever, whomever)

4. Interrogative pronouns: what, who, which, whom, whose

5. Demonstrative pronouns: this, that, these, those

6. Reflexive and intensive pronouns: myself, yourself, herself, himself, itself, oneself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves

7. Reciprocal pronouns: each other, one another

8. Possessive pronouns: my, mine, your, yours, her, hers, his, its, our, ours, their, theirs

English Review Note

Distinguish between “he” and “she.” In English, pronouns replace nouns, so they are not omitted or repeated. For more on pronouns, see Chapter 25.

Adjectives are words that describe nouns or pronouns by answering questions like the following: Which one? How many? What kind (shape, color, texture)? Adjectives usually come directly before the word they modify. Many adjectives have three forms, indicating different degrees: good, better, best; large, larger, largest; loud, louder, loudest.

1. The huge Great Dane drooled on my arm.

2. Jonathan was the best child in the room.

Hint

For more on adjectives and adverbs, see Chapter 26.

English Review Note

Unlike many other languages, in English, adjectives precede the word they describe. In addition, they do not agree (in number or gender) with they words they modify.

Adverbs are words that describe verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs by answering the questions when, where, why, how, and to what degree or extent. An adverb is a flexible modifier, appearing before or after, and sometimes at a distance from, the word it describes. Consider the following sentences, in which quickly modifies the verb scaled and too modifies quickly:

1. Antonio quickly scaled the ladder.

2. Too quickly for safety, Antonio scaled the ladder.

Many adverbs are created by adding -ly to an adjective (boldly from bold, happily from happy), but many do not end in -ly (then, sometimes, very, too).

Prepositions come before nouns or pronouns, with which they combine in prepositional phrases, connecting these words to sentences. Many prepositions indicate location (near, around, against, beside), some indicate time (until, during, for, since), and some can mean either time or location (on, in, by, at). Prepositional phrases function as adjectives (the skateboard with the broken wheel) and as adverbs (hiked up the mountain path).

English Review Note

Memorize these phrases.

Deciding which preposition to use can be tricky because prepositions are often part of idiomatic expressions, phrases that may ignore grammar rules and that have a meaning beyond the literal definition of the words used.

Common Prepositional Phrases

English Review Note

Like prepositions, conjunctions connect sentence parts. The seven coordinating conjunctions are used to show an equal relationship between words, phrases, or clauses. The acronym FANBOYS can help you remember the coordinating conjunctions.

Correlative conjunctions also join words, phrases, and clauses but work in pairs. They include both/and, either/or, neither/nor, and not only/but also.

1. Neither eggs nor whole milk will clog arteries if consumed in moderation.

2. Either that dog goes, or I go.

Conjunctive adverbs link only clauses, not words or phrases. Notice that they can express a relationship of ideas across sentences. Common conjunctive adverbs include however, therefore, nevertheless, in fact, and consequently.

1. I’m going to the symphony; however, Allen is going to the Linkin Park concert.

2. I’m going to the symphony. Allen, however, is going to the Linkin Park concert.

The three types of conjunctions discussed so far link main clauses; subordinating conjunctions, in contrast, connect a subordinate clause to a main clause. A subordinating conjunction, then, signals an unequal relationship between the clauses: The subordinate clause, which it introduces, is less important in the sentence and cannot stand alone but needs the main clause to complete its meaning.

Common Subordinating Conjunctions

English Review Note

Create a chart that incorporates all types of conjunctions. Arrange them according to meaning.

Interjections are words used to express emotion. Mild interjections are set off with a comma (“Well, I won’t be going to the movie”), and more emphatic ones are punctuated with an exclamation point (“Oh, no! Sophie forgot the tickets”).

Identifying the part of speech a word belongs to is often fairly easy, and memorizing some of the “cue” words listed will help you. However, some words belong to more than one part of speech, and we therefore need to look carefully at their use in a particular sentence. For example, we can light a fire (verb), turn on a light (noun), or feel a light breeze (adjective). The best way to identify a word’s part of speech is to think about how it functions : Does it name, describe, show action or being, connect, or express emotion?

Hint

Memorizing a conjunction like because will help you remember the larger group of conjunctions.

Hint

For more on main and subordinate clauses, see Chapter 22.

Fill in the blanks with the type of word indicated in parentheses at the end of the sentence.

·

1. Sharks __________ in the deep, cold water of Monterey Bay. (action verb)

2. Iceland relies mainly on geothermal and hydropower for its energy needs instead of _________. (noun)

3. The sound from the furnace would _______________ disappear and then begin again. (adverb)

4. Hang gliding is a _________ sport. (adjective)

5. Wild Bill Hickok was shot and killed _____________ Deadwood __________ the age of 39. (prepositions)

6. Adolf Hitler was a dictator. __________ was responsible for the deaths of millions. (personal pronoun)

7. Argentina _______________ Chile are South American countries that have elected women as presidents. (coordinating conjunction)

8. Benjamin Franklin, __________ was one of the Founding Fathers, lived to be 84. (relative pronoun)

9. _________ football is popular in America, soccer has more followers worldwide. (subordinating conjunction)

10. Just before the performance, Pavarotti __________ unwell. (being verb)

Knowing the parts of speech helps make sentences seem less mysterious. To form sentences, of course, we don’t need all the parts of speech. In fact, we can form a one-word sentence—“Stop!” As long as we have both a subject (in this case, you is understood as the subject) and a verb, and they represent a complete thought, we have a sentence. In this section, then, we focus on recognizing the basic parts of a simple sentence (sentence with one main clause): the subject—often a noun or pronoun—and verb.

Simple sentences in English are usually ordered with the subject (S) coming before the verb (V), which is followed by the object (O), the word receiving the action, if there is one:

Hint

For more on sentence types, see pp. 524–526.

Hint

Verbs also include helping words such as be, do, and have, discussed further in the following section.

Knowing this word order will help you find verbs and subjects and thus help you decide where a simple sentence begins and ends.

As we have seen, verbs include action words (work) and state-of-being words (be, seem). One way to find verbs, then, is to ask which word shows action or state of being.

Or you might ask which words change form to show tense: present, past, or future. You can test for tense by including the words today, yesterday, and tomorrow, as we do here for the sentence “Michael plays with his children”:

1. Today, Michael plays with his children.

2. Yesterday, Michael played with his children.

3. Tomorrow, Michael will play with his children.

Because play changes form, it has tense and so is a verb.

Identifying verbs becomes more complicated when a simple sentence has several verbs. This can occur for two reasons.

First, we often use compound verbs, or two-part verbs, to create variety and concision. These two-part verbs can be hard to spot:

Simple sentences with compound verbs often use the coordinating conjunctions and and but, so be alert for these conjunctions.

Hint

To recognize verbs, look for words that change their form to show tense.

Second, as we have seen, the main verb of a sentence often follows a helping verb like be, do, have, may, might, must, can, could, should, or would. Together they form verb phrases such as “ might have been singing” or “will be starting .” The verbs in these phrases sometimes become divided, often by an adverb, as in “Brian has quickly forgotten every answer on the exam.”

Life gets even more complicated when we both split verb phrases and compound the verbs, as in the following sentence:

Keeping these complications in mind will help you identify the subjects, verbs, and sentence boundaries of potentially tricky simple sentences like these.

One final factor can complicate the identification of verbs: Certain other word groups, called verbals, are easy to mistake for verbs because they look much like them. Notice that the italicized words in the following sentences are not verbs:

We will discuss verbals later in the chapter, but for now just remember that these kinds of words, which often have an -ing ending (dieting) or a to beginning (to fend), are never the verbs in a sentence.

Hint

No comma is used with compound verbs. See Chapter 27.

Hint

Keep verb phrases together unless the sentence sounds most natural with the adverb after a helping verb. “Brian quickly every answer on the exam” sounds less stilted than “Brian quickly every answer on the exam.”

Subjects in sentences are usually nouns or pronouns located in front of a verb and answering the question of who or what is performing the action or experiencing the state.

Who saved Dorothy? Glinda, so Glinda is the subject of the sentence.

As with verbs, there are various complications in identifying subjects. The subject of a simple sentence can be a compound subject, with two parts, as in sentence A, or even more, as in sentence B:

Hint

For more on phrases, see pp. 516–521.

You might also write a sentence with one or more phrases as the subject:

There are several other situations that can make finding subjects more difficult. First, in command sentences, we often omit the subject:

In such sentences, the subject is understood to be you, the person who is expected to perform the command or request.

Second, in sentences that begin with the words there and here, the subject follows the verb, and in sentences that ask questions, the subject follows a helping verb:

English Review Note

Do not repeat a subject that has been replaced by a relative pronoun.

In this instance, simply rearrange the sentence mentally, putting the subject back into its usual slot:

Finally, it is easy to mistake as subjects the nouns and pronouns within prepositional phrases attached to the subject:

In these sentences, the nouns peels and women cannot be subjects because they are within prepositional phrases. Since subjects never appear in prepositional phrases, one way of finding subjects is by mentally crossing out prepositional phrases in the subject part of the sentence.

It can also be hard to spot subjects and verbs in sentences with more than one clause, such as the following complex sentence:

Each clause has a subject and a verb, and later in this chapter, we will look more closely at subjects and verbs in multiple clauses. For more on verbs and subjects, see Chapter 24.

In the following sentences, underline the subject or subjects once and the verb or verbs twice.

·

1. The United States is increasingly conflicted about its immigration policies.

2. There are three good reasons not to take this trip.

3. Protecting the watershed of the river will help to protect the river itself.

4. One of the team’s most outstanding players was awarded a scholarship to Michigan State.

5. To pilot commercial jets has always been Teresa’s dream.

6. Montana and Wyoming were fighting more than the typical fires of a dry summer and were hoping for a quick end to their troubles.

7. Have you been to see The Golden Compass yet?

8. Warren might have quickly started the car but, in his nervousness, dropped the keys.

9. Please open the blinds and raise the window.

10. Residents of Central America and South America sometimes wonder about and resent the habit of many U.S. citizens of referring to themselves as Americans.

Hint

Look for the word(s) that express(es) action or state of being, and then ask who or what is performing the action or experiencing the state of being.

Hint

In number 9, the subject you is understood.

English Review Note

Knowing subjects and verbs will help you distinguish between clauses and phrases, the two word groups that make up sentences.

A clause includes a subject and a verb, whereas a phrase is missing a subject or a verb, or both. Because phrases can work as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs, knowing these parts of speech will help you manage phrases in sentences and will help you with their punctuation.

Here we will explore six kinds of phrases: prepositional, infinitive, participial, gerund, absolute, and appositive. (For more on phrases, see pp. 464–472.)

A prepositional phrase begins with a preposition (in, on, of, during), ends with a noun or pronoun, and works as an adjective or adverb. Notice that prepositional phrases answer the same kinds of questions as do adjectives and adverbs.

ADJECTIVE

ADVERB

Prepositional phrases functioning as adverbs are often easy to move, for more sentence variety, clarity, and emphasis. Notice that we could reposition the prepositional phrase in any of the three preceding sentences. For example:

Hint

Sentences that begin with two or more prepositional phrases require a comma.

An infinitive can be formed by putting the word to in front of any base verb—for instance, to run, to love, or to think. Infinitives, along with gerunds and participles, are called verbals because they are verb forms that have a sense of action but do not function as verbs.

Infinitive phrases are formed by adding words, often nouns, after the infinitive: “to run a marathon,” “to love one’s country,” “to think deep thoughts.” Infinitives and infinitive phrases work as adjectives, adverbs, or nouns:

ADJECTIVE

ADVERB

NOUN

As with prepositional phrases, infinitive phrases that function as adverbs can often be moved within a sentence. For example, we could recast the adverb sentence like this: “To win the basketball game, we practiced long hours.” Introductory adverbial infinitive phrases require a comma.

Hint

For more on participles, see Chapter 24.

Participial phrases begin with either a present participle (base verb with -ing) or past participle (base verb with -d / -ed / -n / -t ). Participials can be single-word modifiers of nouns: struggling soldiers, crashing waves, wrinkled jacket, forgotten memory. As phrases, too, participials often work as adjectives. As in many of the following examples, they often include prepositional phrases:

Hint

Nonessential phrases, as in sentences A and B, require a comma.

Participial phrases can be essential to the meaning of the word they are describing, as they are in the two preceding C sentences, or nonessential, as they are in the A and B sentences.

Hint

Essential phrases, as in both C sentences, do not use a comma.

Hint

For more on punctuating essential and nonessential phrases, see Chapter 27.

Nonessential phrases are set off with commas, and they can often be repositioned. For example, we might move the participial phrase in sentence B:

When shifting participial phrases, be careful that they do not appear to describe an unintended word. For example, the participial phrase in this construction might seem to describe the cricket:

Also be wary of dangling and misplaced phrases that clearly modify the wrong word:

The gerund, another kind of verbal, is formed by adding -ing to a base verb and is used as a noun—for example, backpacking, swimming, and laughing. Gerund phrases begin with a gerund and include other words. As shown in the following examples, gerunds and gerund phrases may appear in several places in a sentence:

Hint

No comma should be used with gerunds or gerund phrases.

Although gerunds and many participials end in -ing, the gerund functions as a noun rather than as an adjective. Notice that the gerunds in sentences A and B are subjects and that the gerund in sentence C is an object. To see this difference between gerund and participial phrases, compare the following sentences:

The first sentence uses backpacking as an adjective that tells about Nikki, the subject of the main part of the sentence; therefore, the phrase is a participial. The second sentence uses backpacking as the subject, so the phrase is a gerund. Whereas the participial phrase must be set off by a comma, the gerund phrase cannot be.

Hint

Because gerunds are nouns, if you can mentally replace the -ing phrase with “it” or “this,” the phrase is a gerund, not a participial.

The absolute phrase resembles a participial phrase in that it uses a present or past participle (- ing or -d /- ed /- n /-t), but it differs in an important respect: A noun or pronoun always precedes the participle. Absolute phrases describe the rest of the sentence they are attached to, rather than a single word. For this reason, they can be in different places in a sentence, as shown by the following examples:

You can create an absolute phrase by omitting a “to be” verb. For instance, without the is, the stand-alone sentence “The steadily from the south” becomes the absolute phrase in sentence A above. Absolute phrases, like nonessential participial phrases, must be set off with a comma.

Hint

Absolute phrases require a comma.

An appositive phrase is a word group that renames a noun or pronoun. Appositives usually follow the word they are describing, but if describing the subject, they can be useful as sentence openers.

Most appositives are nonessential—giving useful but not vital information. Therefore, as with all nonessential material, we use commas. Here are several examples:

In each case, the underlined appositive tells the reader a bit more about dolphins.

Hint

Appositive phrases are a handy way to add ideas or comments without distracting readers too much from the main flow of thought.

Over each underlined phrase, write the type of phrase. Don’t be confused when you find several phrases within a word group.

·

1. Perched on Jasmine’s shoulder, the cockatiel always felt secure.

2. Jumping out of a plane is not Ethan’s idea of a relaxing weekend.

3. To find better jobs, many adults long out of school are returning.

4. The new Corvette, redlining at 7,000 rpm, smoked down the interstate.

5. Aging power plants in the United States continue to emit toxic pollutants,increasing asthma and other respiratory illnesses.

6. Robert Downey Jr., an actor with a history of substance abuse, plays recovering alcoholic Tony Stark in Iron Man.

7. On a trip from Chicago to Denver, Joanne was stranded in airports for 36 hours.

Hint

To identify the phrase, look at the overall structure, at how the words work as a unit. For example,“ Ben fell” includes a prepositional phrase, “on the ice,” but since the whole word group begins with a participle, the word group is a participial phrase.

8. Online advertising, mostly obnoxious spam and pop-up windows, continues to flood into our homes.

9. Having clear goals in life helps people to succeed.

10. Stepping quietly into the room, his pipe glowing dimly, Holmes surveyed the scene of the murder.

With group members, discuss the six phrases and then complete each sentence with the type of phrase(s) indicated in parentheses.

1. In the morning Anna went (prepositional phrases) ________________________.

2. ____________ (participial phrase), Lauren and Roy had the best evening of their lives.

3. _____________________ (absolute phrase), Roger was so hungry that he nearly fainted.

4. __________________ (infinitive phrase), the climbers had to struggle up the cliff face till nearly dusk.

5. ________________ (gerund phrase) would improve people’s health.

6. Michael Jackson, _________________ (appositive phrase), bought the rights to almost all of the Beatles’ music.

7. _______________ (prepositional phrases), the children found six baby bunnies in a nest.

8. Many hunters support gun control,_______________________________ (participial phrase).

9. ____________(infinitive phrase), Frank finally wrote a check to the gas company.

10. Whales communicate through body language and song, ____________

_____________(absolute phrase).

Hint

Notice the use of commas with the phrases in these sentences.

Hint

Subordinate clauses standing alone are sentence fragments.

In contrast to phrases, clauses have both a subject and a verb. Clauses are of two sorts, main and subordinate. A main (or independent) clause expresses a complete thought, so it can function as a stand-alone (simple) sentence. A subordinate (or dependent) clause lacks a complete thought and so cannot stand alone. Despite having a verb and a subject, a subordinate clause, like a phrase, depends on and must therefore be attached to a main clause to form a sentence.

Notice how these main and subordinate clauses can easily combine:

There are three kinds of subordinate clauses—noun, adjective, and adverb clauses—which work just as their names suggest. We will now focus on each kind of subordinate clause.

Noun clauses are subordinate clauses that work the way single nouns and noun phrases do in a sentence and are often used as subjects—for example, as in sentence B:

Noun clauses are useful because they give more information. In sentence A, we learn that the single-word subject (the candidate) surprised everyone, but we don’t know why. However, in sentence B, we find out through the noun clause that it was “what the candidate said” that surprised everyone.

Hint

To identify a noun clause, try replacing the clause with the pronoun “it”.

Here are some example sentences with noun clauses used in other ways besides as subjects:

Note: That may be dropped from the above noun clauses with no effect on the sentences.

Because noun clauses are an essential part of sentences—unlike many adverb and adjective clauses—they are not set off with commas.

Common Cue Words That Begin Noun Clauses

Note: Some of these words can also introduce adjective and adverb clauses.

Adjective clauses (or relative clauses) work like single adjectives and adjective phrases, describing nouns and pronouns, as in sentence B:

Both sentences, A and B, tell us what kind of truck—old. Notice that the adjective, old, is in front of the noun it describes, while the adjective clause, that is old, follows the noun. Adjective clauses can begin with several cue words, including whose, when, where, and why, but usually begin with one of these relative pronouns:

Hint

Use who to refer to people, but use which and that to refer to things and animals.

Note: These words also sometimes introduce noun clauses.

To punctuate adjective clauses correctly, you need to determine whether they are essential to the meaning of the sentence. If they are essential, that is, if removing them would alter the main idea, do not use a comma or commas:

In sentence A, we don’t know why we should be interested in Gina until reading the adjective clause and finding out that she was responsible for an accident. In sentence B, we need the adjective clause to tell us why we should be interested in the Firestone tires. Therefore, the clauses are essential and not set off with commas.

Nonessential adjective clauses, however, can be cut from a sentence without significantly changing the meaning, so they are set off with commas:

Sentence A emphasizes that Tara Farnsworth is a fine athlete but adds a less-important comment about her as a student. Who clauses that immediately follow proper nouns are nonessential. Sentence B uses the which clause to add a comment about oversleeping. In both sentences, the adjective clauses contain interesting but not essential information.

Hint

The relative pronoun that is used only to begin essential clauses, so never use commas to set off adjective clauses that start with that. Nonessential adjective clauses are set off with a comma or commas. For more on essential versus nonessential adjective clauses, see Chapters 19 and 22.

Adverb clauses function like single adverbs and adverb phrases, describing verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. They give information about a main clause, telling when, why, where, how, and to what extent, as in the following sentences:

Hint

Adverb clauses that begin sentences require a comma. Adverb clauses that follow main clauses usually do not use commas.

Adverb clauses, like adverbs, often can be moved in a sentence. For example, we could reverse the subordinate and main clauses in any of the above examples, like this:

When the adverb clause comes before the main clause, it should be set off with a comma. However, when it follows the main clause, a comma is not usually used. (Exceptions: Adverb clauses beginning with though, although, and even though often use a comma even when following a main clause because they show concession.)

Adverb clauses always begin with a subordinating conjunction, such as when, because, where, as if, and until. (See p. 512 for a more complete list.)

Hint

Some of these words are not just subordinating conjunctions but can also introduce prepositional phrases, noun clauses, and/or adjective clauses.

Write the type of clause over each underlined clause. As you analyze each sentence, look at the cue words (that, who, which, because, what, etc.) that begin the clauses, and think about how the clauses function. Do they work as nouns, as adjectives, or as adverbs? To help tell the difference between adjective and noun clauses, try substituting “it” for the noun clause.

·

1. What the commencement speaker said put everyone in the audience to sleep.

2. When the lead guitarist shows up, the band will go on.

3. What to do with nuclear waste remains a major problem in the movement to build more nuclear power plants.

4. Try raising a chicken if you want a truly messy pet .

5. The police officer who pulled Professor Allen over for speeding was one of his former students.

6. Paul Simon, who began performing in high school, has had a successful musical career for over 40 years.

7. Marla thinks that John Travolta is a fine actor.

8. The elm tree that is leaning over my house concerns me.

9. The Milky Way galaxy, which contains our solar system, looks like a sprinkling of glowing dust in the night sky.

10. After we raced to get to the doctor’s office on time, we sat and waited for 45 minutes.

Write clauses to complete the following sentences.

·

Hint

Note the use of commas to set off clauses.

1. _____________(adverb clause), he spends half the game on the bench.

2. The Superfund, created in 1980 to clean up toxic industrial messes, is a government regulation _____________________ (adjective clause).

3. _____________ (noun clause) wins the contest of life.

4. _____________ (adverb clause), they are difficult to exterminate.

5. The advertisement that I received in the mail today promised me a “free gift,__________________” (adjective clause).

6. I am going to save some money __________________ (adverb clause).

7. _____________ (noun clause) is a mystery that no one has been able to figure out.

8. Garth Brooks, _____________ (adjective clause), has been out of the headlines recently.

9. _____________ (adverb clause), you can have your name removed from many junk mail lists.

10. In 2005 the Gulf Coast was struck by Hurricane Katrina, __________________________________________________________________________

(adjective clause).

Having reviewed the parts of speech, phrases, and clauses, you know most of the basic sentence grammar you need to write interesting and correct sentences. Now you can simply apply this knowledge to work with sentence types.

There are only four sentence types in English, each based on the clauses it contains: simple, compound, complex, and compound–complex.

Hint

To identify the type of sentence, look at the type and number of its clauses.

A simple sentence contains one main clause with no subordinate clauses. It may be short and truly “simple,” as in uncomplicated, or it may have several phrases that lengthen it. Here are some examples:

Sentence A has a single subject, Aaron, and a single verb, likes. But sentence B adds another subject, sister. And sentence C also adds another verb, have, as well as two phrases, to buy much and of it. Simple sentences can be short or long and may contain commas, for instance to set off introductory phrases or nonessential phrases. However, they have only one clause, a main clause.

A compound sentence adds one or more main clauses to a simple sentence. This creates a sentence with two or more sets of subjects and verbs (main clauses). The clauses are usually joined by a coordinating conjunction like and or but and a comma—or by a semicolon if the conjunction is omitted. Short or long, compound sentences do not contain a subordinate clause. Here are two examples:

Sentence A has two main clauses, two sets of subjects and verbs. If we wanted to create two separate sentences, we could put a period after ice cream. Sentence B is a compound sentence with three main clauses!

Hint

Compound sentences usually require a comma before a coordinating conjunction. (However, a semicolon can also divide the two main clauses, omitting the coordinating conjunction.)

Complex sentences are not necessarily any more complicated than simple or compound sentences, but they do contain another kind of clause—the subordinate, or dependent, clause. So a complex sentence has one main clause and one or more subordinate clauses. As with other sentence types, any clause may include phrases. Here are examples:

Sentence A starts with a main clause and attaches a subordinate adverb clause beginning with because. Notice that sentence B adds material but still has only one main clause. Sentence B uses a two-part subject and a two-part verb in its main clause; the subordinate because clause separates the two main verbs (like and have).

Complex sentences can contain more than one subordinate clause, as in the following example:

This sentence contains an adjective clause and an adverb clause.

Hint

Stringing too many main clauses together with and or but makes for monotonous reading.

The compound–complex sentence combines the two preceding sentence types. It has two or more main clauses and one or more subordinate clauses. As usual, any clause can include phrases. Here are examples:

Hint

Note the comma used before the coordinating conjunction so.

Underline each clause, and above it write its type (main clause or noun, adjective, or adverb clause). At the end of the sentence, write the sentence type (simple, compound, complex, or compound–complex).

·

1. Although swimming is not the best sport for losing weight, it can be a great aerobic workout . ____________

2. Carp are said by some to be delicious, but a person must know how to prepare the fish properly . ____________

3. Many companies in the United States use underpaid foreign labor to cut costs . ____________

4. Many trial lawyers are experts at bending the truth to help their clients . ___________

5. Because forests are beautiful, house thousands of species of plants and animals, and clean the earth’s atmosphere, they deserve good stewardship . ____________

6. I used to think that David was slow moving until I saw him jump up from his chair to shake a centipede off his bare arm . ____________

7. Playing an instrument is a good way to learn music and bring joy into a person’s life . ____________

8. Fireflies, which are also called lightning bugs, produce their glow through a process known as bioluminescence . ____________

9. When the weather permits, I love to grill just about anything out on my deck, but my favorite food is hamburgers . ____________

10. Jet planes cannot glide well, so if the engines malfunction, the plane is likely to crash. ____________

Hint

Remember that the type of sentence depends on the number and kind (main or subordinate) of clauses.

Hint

In Activity 21.8, leave the dialogue alone, and keep some short sentences for emphasis. Check your commas.

Review A Writer’s Basic Sentence Grammar on pages 528–529, and then discuss with group members how to improve the clarity and flow of sentences in the following narrative. Keeping all the main ideas, revise the narrative by combining sentences and adding connecting words where needed (prepositions, such as in, on, and near; conjunctions, such as because, when, and, and but; and relative pronouns, such as who, which, and that will be particularly useful). Also try using -ing phrases.

EXAMPLE

America’s Dumbest Criminal?

My older brother Jason should be on a special show called America’s Dumbest Criminals. One night in May of 2007, Jason found a new white Nissan. His best friend, Ken, was with him too. The car was in the neighbor’s driveway. The car had the keys left in the door. This was temptation they could not resist.

“Hey, look at this,” Jason said. “What an idiot to forget your keys.”

“Yeah, it’s their own fault if we borrow their car,” replied Ken.

Both boys jumped in the car. Jason sat on the garage door opener. The door raised.

“Oh, crap!” Jason yelled. They leapt out of the car. Then they ran back home.

They watched the neighbors’ house. They didn’t see anyone reacting. Jason and Ken thought they were safe to try again. This time they figured they would be smart. They would bring along gloves to mask fingerprints. They climbed back into the car. Once again Jason sat on the garage door opener.

“Dammit, man!” Ken said. They were hiding in some nearby bushes. Still no one was stirring in the house. They tried for the Nissan again. This was the third time. This time they succeeded. So, off they went on their “well-planned” expedition.

They reached the major roads. Ken began to get paranoid. “Man, we just passed a cop. We’re gonna get caught!”

“Shut up, dude,” ordered Jason. “We’re cool. How are they gonna know? The people are still asleep, remember?”

“Uhh . . .” said Ken, “because we’re driving around with white gloves on, and it looks a little odd, don’t you think?”

“Well then, we’ll just take them off,” Jason replied.

“Yeah, but when they get the car back, our fingerprints will be all over it.”

Jason and Ken idled at a stoplight for a minute. My brother came up with his next brilliant suggestion. They would buy some Armor-All. Then they would wipe off all their fingerprints. Then they would park the car a few blocks from the owner’s house. Well, they managed to clean the car half way up. They congratulated themselves on getting away with it. They taped the car key to the hood. Then they walked home.

But Jason had forgotten his gloves. Jason panicked. They went back to the car for them. But someone had called the police. The boys were arrested. Their situation got worse. They had parked across a city line. So they were prosecuted by two cities.

Older brothers and sisters are supposed to set an example. This is one older and “wiser” brother I learned never to follow.

Having learned and practiced recognizing the basic sentence parts in this chapter, you now know more about how to control sentences. Words (parts of speech) build phrases; phrases grow into or are attached to clauses; clauses are sentences or are attached to them. Knowing how words work—to express action or state of being, name, describe, or link—you can now confidently revise your sentences to best express your meaning.

This Chapter Summary offers quick review of key sentence parts:

Words (8 Kinds)

verb, noun, pronoun, adjective, adverb, preposition, conjunction, interjection

Phrases (6 Kinds)

prepositional, infinitive, participial, gerund, absolute, appositive

Hint

Words that begin prepositional phrases include to, of, on, near, around, beside, at, by, in, about, with, of, and for.

Clauses (2 Kinds)

main and subordinate (3 kinds): noun, adjective, adverb

Hint

Words that begin adjective clauses include who, which, and that.

Hint

Words that begin adverb clauses include because, as, if, although, since, when, while, after, before, and until.

Hint

Words that join main clauses include and, but, so, or, yet, nor, and for.

Sentences (4 Kinds)

simple, compound, complex, compound–complex

1. Simple: “Karyn likes shoes.”

2. Compound: “Karyn likes shoes, so she owns a lot of them.”

3. Complex: “Karyn likes shoes because they help express her creative style.”

4. Compound–complex: “Karyn likes shoes because they help express her creative style, so she owns a lot of them.”

Hint

The type and number of clauses determine the type of sentence.

Chapter 23

Run-ons, Comma Splices, and Sentence Fragments

This fielder flies into the stands crowded with spectators. By crossing a boundary that both other players and the fans usually observe, he causes problems. When sentences push past their boundaries or are improperly divided, they too cause problems as readers try to make sense of them. Write a paragraph discussing what problems might arise from not being able to determine boundaries in one of the following situations: driving, fencing a property, riding a bus or subway.

© AP/Wide World Photos

Key Topics

· Run-on sentences and comma splices

· Fixing run-ons and comma splices with end punctuation

· Fixing run-ons and comma splices with coordination

· Fixing run-ons and comma splices with semicolons

· Fixing run-ons and comma splices with subordination

· Sentence fragments

· Phrase fragments

· Subordinate clause fragments

Chapter 23 focuses on two common sentence problems found in rough drafts: improperly divided and incomplete (fragmented) sentences. When the time comes to edit their work, writers sometimes find that ideas have overlapped and that it is difficult to determine where one main thought ends and another begins.

The key to determining sentence boundaries, and so to controlling run-ons, comma splices, and fragments, is locating verbs and subjects, as we practiced in Chapter 21. As you work through this chapter, make a habit of looking for the action (or state-of-being) word(s) in each sentence—the verb—and then asking yourself who or what is performing the action (or experiencing the state of being)—the subject.

If two main clauses are run together as a single sentence, without any punctuation, the result is a run-on or fused sentence. If two sentences have been divided with a comma, the result is a comma splice.

Both kinds of errors can present problems for readers, as in the following examples:

When the first main thought ends with the word lake, we need to mark the spot with a strong break so readers know that a new main thought is beginning. A comma alone is not strong enough, but we can use one of the following methods:

· End punctuation: period, question mark, or exclamation point

· Comma with coordinating conjunction (and, but, so, or, yet, for, nor)

· Semicolon

· Subordination: words, phrases, clauses

The easiest way to fix these two errors is by dividing the sentences with a period or other end punctuation (e.g., question mark or exclamation point).

However, a period is not always the best solution. If the sentences that are run together are short, using a period may create a “choppy” effect, as in the following example:

If correcting run-ons or comma splices with end punctuation creates a series of choppy sentences, you should try one of the other methods covered in this chapter.

Hint

For more on problems with sentence variety, see Chapter 19.

If a period is not the best choice, you might find that a comma and a coordinating conjunction like and, but, or, so, yet, for, or nor work better. These useful connecting words help readers understand the relationship between clauses.

For example, and lets readers know that the clauses are roughly equivalent and not dependent on each other. But and yet point out contrast, and so shows cause and effect. Revising our choppy example from above, we can eliminate the run-on and comma splice by using coordinating conjunctions:

Hint

For more on coordination, see Chapter 22.

A semicolon is an alternative to end punctuation or to a comma and a coordinating conjunction for fixing run-ons and comma splices. If the main ideas in the two clauses are closely related, then a semicolon might be a good choice.

A semicolon is probably the best choice for this sentence because the second main clause completes the statement made in the first clause. These two sentences work as a single unit of thought.

You can also separate the clauses with a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb, followed by a comma. Here is an example:

Western medicine has much to offer; however, Eastern medicine is also a valuable resource.

Sometimes the conjunctive adverb can appear within a clause rather than between the two main clauses, in which case it is set off by commas:

Western medicine has much to offer; Eastern medicine, however, is also a valuable resource.

Common conjunctive adverbs include however, therefore, nevertheless, in fact, consequently, meanwhile, furthermore, and thus.

A method for correcting run-ons and comma splices that also helps you eliminate unneeded words is subordination. When subordinating one main clause to another, you focus readers’ attention on the idea contained within the main clause. You can change one of the clauses to a subordinate clause, a phrase, or even a single word.

Hint

For more on subordination, see Chapter 22.

Notice the following examples:

Each of the revised sentences corrects the error—and eliminates unneeded words.

Here are several other examples that show how you can use subordination to fix problem sentences:

Hint

For help with changing independent clauses to subordinate clauses or phrases, review Chapters 19 and 21.

Decide which of the following sentences is correct, a run-on, or a comma splice. Underline each verb twice, ask yourself who or what is doing the action or experiencing the state of being, and then underline each subject once. You will find main clauses and a few subordinate clauses. Draw a line where the main clauses meet, and then at the front of each sentence write “RO” for run-on, “CS” for comma splice, or “C” for correct.

1. _________ I think that I must have eaten too much I’m feeling a little sick.

2. _________ The family will be having dinner at Cindy’s house, she has prepared a feast.

3. _________ Although some think Jamie is kindhearted, he has a cruel streak.

4. _________ Truck drivers are often away from home, this constant traveling must make them lonely.

5. _________ My daughter learned to swim this summer, I can’t keep her out of the pool.

6. _________ Fifty percent of all marriages today end in divorce I am sure that mine will not.

7. _________ The book left me feeling nervous I think that I will sleep with the light on.

8. _________ My uncle used to live in Hawaii, but he moved back to Kansas last year.

9. _________ Some people give good advice others just give lots of it.

10. _________ Harbour Island has beautiful pink sand beaches we will go there again one day.

In the following sentences, underline each verb twice and each subject once. You will find main clauses and a few subordinate clauses. In the blank at the beginning of each sentence, write “RO” for run-on and “CS” for comma splice. Next, correct each of the sentences, using each of the four methods we have discussed: end punctuation, coordination, semicolon, and subordination.

1. _______ Chen loves to draw Virginia prefers to paint.

Period: ______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Coordinating conjunction: ________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Semicolon: ___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Subordination: ________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

2. _______ A finish carpenter is a master artisan, he or she can bring wood to life.

Period: ______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Coordinating conjunction: ________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Semicolon: ___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Subordination: ________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

3. ________ Bees are an essential part of agriculture, they pollinate thousands of species of fruits and vegetables.

Period: ______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Coordinating conjunction: ________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Semicolon: ___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Subordination: ________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

4. ________ Halley’s comet returns to earth every 76 years few people see it twice in a lifetime.

Period: ______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Coordinating conjunction: ________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Semicolon: ___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Subordination: _________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

5. ________ Hockey is a sport that requires strength, speed, and agility, it also helps if a player can duck fast.

Period: ______________________________________________________

Coordinating conjunction: ________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Semicolon: ___________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Subordination: ________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

For a sentence to stand alone, it must have a subject and a verb, and it must express a complete thought. A sentence fragment lacks one or more of these requirements. As in the following examples, readers may have difficulty understanding the writer’s thought:

Phrases

1. Trying desperately with all his might.

2. Tired beyond belief but happy.

3. To win the pennant after 85 years.

4. A hard worker and good-hearted person.

CLAUSES

None of these examples can stand alone as sentences because they all lack a finished thought. Examples A–D are phrases; they lack both subjects and verbs. Examples E and F are clauses; they come closer to being free-standing sentences because they do have a subject and a verb, but they lack a main clause to complete their meaning.

Sentence fragments can slip into your writing because they can look and sound like complete sentences within the context of your paragraphs, as in the following example:

Some sentence fragments can be fixed by attaching them to the sentence that precedes or follows them, often using a comma as in the corrected version above. When this method does not work, you must replace any missing words, usually subjects or verbs.

The key to finding and correcting fragments is recognizing verbs and subjects so you can identify sentence boundaries. The rest of this chapter will focus on the two most common kinds of fragments—phrases and subordinate clauses.

In Chapter 21, you learned that a phrase has a noun or a verb form but not both a subject and a verb. Phrases must be attached to a main clause to express their full meaning. If they are not attached, they are sentence fragments. There are two ways to fix phrase fragments:

1. Connect them to a main clause.

2. Add words (subjects, verbs, or both) to turn the phrases into main clauses.

Hint

When you combine the phrase with a main clause, be sure to punctuate correctly.

Decide which of the following sentences are fragments, and then correct the error by rewriting the sentence in the space provided. You may attach a phrase to a main clause or add words to the fragment, whichever method seems best to you. If the group of sentences does not contain a fragment, write “Correct.”

EXAMPLE: Singing with great power and feeling. Pavarotti received a standing ovation from the audience.

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1. The pancakes were not appetizing. Burned on the bottom and raw on top. They made Elaine want to go out for breakfast.

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2. Streaking downfield, shaking off tackles as he went. Allen charged toward the end zone 30 yards away.

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3. To save energy nationally. Every homeowner could switch out five traditional electric bulbs for fluorescent bulbs. The equivalent energy exchange of removing 8 million cars from the highway.

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4. Ahsan and Fatima spend more time with their children than anyone I know. They have a truly happy family.

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5. Although it is expensive, it is a special treat. To eat at the Blue Water Grill.

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6. Two flight attendants were thrown onto the laps of passengers. The plane encountering heavy turbulence.

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7. The funniest child in the family. Cicely seemed to have a joke for every occasion.

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8. Fishing in his pocket for a handkerchief. Martin finally found one. Buried underneath his car keys, wadded-up dollar bills, and rent statement. He handed the handkerchief to his fiancée, who was feeling depressed. Remembering how opposed her parents were to this marriage.

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While sentence fragments are often phrases, they can also be subordinate clauses. Subordinate clauses, which depend on main clauses to be complete, come in three varieties—noun, adjective, and adverb. Adverb and adjective clauses are the ones that most commonly turn up as fragments. To identify adverb clause fragments, look for sentences that begin with one of these common subordinating conjunctions:

Hint

A subordinate clause contains a subject and a verb but not a complete thought (see Chapter 21).

Subordinating Conjunctions

If a sentence begins with one of these conjunctions and is not attached to a main clause, it is a fragment. Adverb clause fragments can be fixed either by attaching them to the main clause or by dropping the subordinating conjunction to create another main clause, as in the following example:

Adjective clause fragments can usually be identified by one of these three common relative pronouns: who, which, or that.

These fragments can be fixed either by attaching them to the main clause or by dropping the relative pronoun and replacing it with a noun or pronoun, as in the following example:

Hint

When combining the subordinate clause with a main clause, be sure to punctuate correctly.

Rewrite any of the following sentences that contain a fragment, or write “Correct.” You may attach the fragment to a main clause or add a subject, whichever method seems best to you. Now compare your answers with a partner’s and see where and how your solutions differ. Note which edited version of each you prefer and why.

EXAMPLE: When the Renaissance Festival begins to advertise. I begin to think of all the food I will end up eating. While I am there.

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1. If Morgan joins the eco tour in Brazil. She will see some breathtaking rain forest canopy.

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2. We took the course in emergency CPR for children. Even though our daughter is grown. Because we hope to have grandchildren sometime soon.

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3. For family pets, many people favor Labradors. Which have a reputation for being friendly and gentle.

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4. Rather than stay in a dead-end job that you don’t like, why not go back to college, retrain, and find a new life?

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5. When a person recycles aluminum cans. It reduces by 95 percent the amount of energy. That it takes to make these same cans from raw aluminum.

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1. Writers can identify and correct run-ons, comma splices, and fragments by determining sentence boundaries: locating verbs and subjects and distinguishing main clauses from subordinate clauses.

2. A run-on sentence occurs when two or more main clauses run together without punctuation between them. A comma splice occurs when only a comma connects main clauses; by itself a comma is not strong enough to join them.

3. The easiest way to fix a comma splice or a run-on is to separate the two main clauses with end punctuation, such as a period.

4. Comma splices and run-ons can also be fixed by using commas with coordinating conjunctions, by using semicolons, or by using subordination (phrases or clauses).

5. A sentence fragment is missing either a subject or a main verb; it is an incomplete sentence and does not express a complete thought. Fragments may be phrases or subordinate clauses.

6. To make a phrase fragment into a sentence, either connect it to a main clause or add words (subjects, verbs, or both) to turn the phrase itself into a main clause.

7. To make an adverb clause fragment into a sentence, either attach it to the main clause or drop the subordinating conjunction to create another main clause.

8. To make an adjective clause fragment into a sentence, either attach it to the main clause or drop the relative pronoun and replace it with a noun or pronoun.