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h.w3.docx

H.W #3

Directions: Paraphrase the following essay.

Forgetful Surfer in Volcano

Professional surfer Ditch Dent met his lover Tiny Wando in the Kook Islands while shooting his surfing video I Only Surf for Money with the Cameras Rolling. So began their long affair. Once a month, a trip to the Kook Island would be taken Ditch. Tiny would be showered with jewelry clothes, and candies. Tiny was soon with child. Promises were made to wed her. Tiny was very stoked. Her dream of having a husband who was a Q-T and li’I toddler were about to be realized.

First, there was a need for Ditch to hightail it back to Oahu ASAP to compete in the Rocky Sand Beaugus Beer Pro/Am and the Adrenaline Energy Drink Surf Challenge. While Ditch was gone, preparations could be made for the shindig. Tiny was a hot babe and was a popular in the island. She told all the villagers of Kook Island the news and invited them to the wedding. "It would," she informed them, "be one killahz pati.” Obow Longshot was a local surfer of the Kook Islands. He had met Ditch while in Hawai'i last winter. Obow had also met Ditch's beautiful wife, Malibu Dent. He needed to relate this information to Tiny.

When she was told of Dent's wife, Tiny was fearful, hurt, and angry. Upon Ditch's return, the villagers encircled him. Tiny read him the riot act "It's not my fault!" exclaimed Ditch. "Sometimes guys get busy, and they don't remember things. For example, that they are married! Besides, I didn't think it was that important! Come on, babe!"

Ditch was carried by the villagers to the Island's live volcano and thrown in. Tiny said maybe that this would be a good reminder; next time he got some girl pregnant he would remember to tell her that he was married.

Some say he died in the volcano and his ghost haunts the island. Others say he made it back to Hawaii and was hiding from his wife, 'Bu, after she burned his thrusters, quads, and Island guns.

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