I dare someone to do it in 6 hours

Chapter 5: Healthy Relationships

and Sexuality

GEHP 3000

JAVIER A OSORIO

DECEMBER 2013

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships

 People Communicate Differently

– Share/Self Disclose – Makes a person feel vulnerable

– Step towards closeness/intimacy

– Part of responsible sexual behavior

– Listening – Focus on Speaker

– Avoid interruptions

– Avoid focusing on speaker’s quirks

– Demonstrate understanding

– Avoid challenging the speaker or being defensive

– Try using I messages when you respond

– Avoid generalities

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships

 Communicating How We Feel is Important (continued)

– Past communication styles may be different in relationships and a couple may have a difficult time communicating

 Improving Communication/Improving Relationships

– Learn to share and self-disclose

– Learn to listen

Characteristics of Intimate Relationships

 Intimate defined:  Relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners

 Behavioral interdependence

 mutual impact on one another’s lives

 Need fulfillment for: – Intimacy – freely sharing emotions

– Social Integration – share worry and concerns

– Nurturance – take care of one another

– Assistance – help in time of nee

– Affirmation – reassured of one’s own worth

 Emotional attachment

 feelings of love

 Emotional availability

 ability to give and receive

Forming Intimate Relationships

 Families – Family of origin:

 parents and siblings

 Can also include stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, partners, friends.

– Nuclear family  Parents and their offspring (genetic)

– Children learn how to share feelings, affection and love from their parents.

– Sibling interactions provide a way to learn and practice interpersonal skills

– A psychological and physically unhealthy family may pose significant barriers to later relationships.

Establishing Friendships

– Enjoyment

– Acceptance

– Mutual trust

– Respect

– Mutual assistance

– Confiding

– Understanding

– Spontaneity

Forming Intimate Relationships

 Significant Others, Partners, Couples

– Fascination  Preoccupied with each other

– Exclusiveness  Relationship takes priority over all others

– Sexual desire  Desire physical intimacy

– Giving  Take care of one another

– Advocate  Interested in seeing each other succeed

Forming Intimate Relationships

 This Thing Called Love

– Three key ingredients

 Intimacy: the emotional component, involves feelings of closeness

 Passion: the motivational component, which reflects romantic, sexual attraction

 Decision/commitment: the cognitive component, which includes the decisions you make about being in love and degree of commitment to your partner

Common Experiences of Love

Figure 5.1

Gender Issues in Relationships

 Genderlect – A term coined by Deborah Tannen to categorize the differences in men’s and women’s language patterns

 Styles in Decision Making

 Picking Partners

– Similarities

– Reciprocity

– Physical attraction

 What do you look for when picking a partner?

Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy

 Dysfunctional Families

– Inhibits psychological growth and/or self-love

– Obstacles to emotional/mental health

 Jealousy in Relationships

– Overdependence on the relationship

– High value placed on sexual exclusivity

– Severity of the threat

– Low self-esteem

– Fear of losing control

– Marriage

– Monogamy: exclusive sexual involvement with one partner

– Serial monogamy: A series of monogamous sexual relationships

– Open relationships: A relationship in which partners agree that sexual involvement can occur outside the relationship

 Cohabitation

– Defined as two unmarried people with an intimate connection who live together in the same household.

– Common-law marriage: legally binding in some states

Committed Relationships

 Gay and Lesbian Partnerships

– Significant increase in 2000 census – three times the reported number in 1990

– Probably much higher than reported

 Staying Single

– 37 % of American men

– 41% of American women

Success in Relationships

 Partnering Scripts

– Most children are raised with a strong script of what is expected of them as adults

– Society provides constant reinforcement for traditional couples

– People who have not chosen an “traditional” partner may experience a great deal of stress

Success in Relationships

 Being Self-Nurturant

– Love yourself

 Accountability

– Accepting responsibility for personal decisions, choices, actions

 Self-Nurturance

– Developing individual potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability

 Having Children or Not?

Table 5.1

<<Insert table 5.2>>

When Relationships Falter

 Communication Breakdown

 When and Why Relationships End

– 40-50% of all marriages end

– Illness

– Finances

– Unmet expectations

When Relationships Falter

 Coping with Failed Relationships

– Recognize and acknowledge your feelings

– Find healthful ways to express your emotions

– Spend time with friends, both old and new

– Don’t rush into the “rebound” relationship

Building Better Relationships

 Elements of Healthy Relationships

– Good communication

– Intimacy

– Friendship

– Trust

– Predictability

– Dependability

– Faith

Your Sexual Identity  Facts

– All eggs carry an X chromosome

– Sperm carry an X or a Y chromosome – XX = Female

– XY = Male

– Sex hormones play a major role in puberty  Male – testosterone

 Female – estrogen, progesterone

– Pituitary gland-gonadotrophins

– Secondary sex characteristics

Your Sexual Identity

 Sex – biological condition

 Gender – psychosocial condition

– Gender roles

– Gender identity

– Gender-role stereotyping

– Androgyny: combination of masculine and feminine traits

– Socialization

Your Sexual Identity  Sexual Orientation

– Best understood by using a multifactor model, which incorporates biological, psychological, and socioenvironmental factors.

– Heterosexual

– Homosexual

– Bisexual

 Homophobia

– Irrational fear or hatred of homosexuality

Expressing Your Sexuality

 Sexual Behavior: What is “Normal”?

– Heterosexual standard: limited to members of opposite sex

– Coital standard: only penile/vaginal intercourse is viewed as sex

– Two-person standard: to be experienced by two

– Romantic standard: sex related to love

– Safer sex standard: preventing unintended pregnancy and disease transmission

Expressing Your Sexuality

 Variant Sexual Expression

– Group sex: more than two people

– Transvestism: wearing clothing of opposite sex

 Most travestites are male, heterosexual, and married

– Fetishism: sexual arousal by looking or touching inanimate objects such as underclothing or shoes

Expressing Your Sexuality

 Variant Sexual Expression – Exhibitionism: exposing oneself in public place

– Voyeurism: observing other people for sexual gratification

– Sadomasochism: inflicting pain in sexual activities

– Sadist: enjoys inflicting pain

– masochist: enjoys experiencing pain

– Pedophilia: sexual activity with children - illegal

– Autoerotic asphyxiation: choking oneself while masturbating

– Accidental hangings

Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning

 Sexual Desire Disorder

– Inhibited sexual desire (ISD): lack of interest in sex

– Sexual aversion disorder: sexual phobias and anxiety of sexual contact

 Punitive upbringing, rigid religious background, history of physical or sexual abuse are all sources

 Sexual Arousal Disorder

– Erectile dysfunction or impotence:

 Can be from diabetes, prostrate problems, medications, depression, fatigue, stress, alcohol, performance anxiety, guilt.

Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning

 Sexual Pain Disorder

– Dyspareunia: pain experienced by women during intercourse.

 caused by endopmetriousis, uterine tumors, a virius or infection, some times psychological

– Vaginismus: involuntary contraction of vaginal muscles, making penile insertion painful or impossible

 Seeking Help for Sexual Dysfunction

– Chose a qualified sex therapist or counselor

Difficulties That Can Hinder Sexual Functioning

 Drugs and Sex

– Alcohol can inhibit sexual response

– Tendency to blame the drug for bad behavior

– “Date Rape Drugs”

 Rohypnol (“roofies”)

 Gamma-hydroxybutrane (GHB)