English

Dear, Jumanah

Your thesis statement is short and simple. 

But, you need to add more specific information about your topic, also write more arguable for improve your good thesis statement. I can see only your opinion in this thesis statement. 

Best regard. 

Dear, Jumanah

 I think your thesis statement is too short you have to add more information to make it arguable instead just your opinion. No question. 

Good luck

Dear Jumanah

It is good to express your opinion in the thesis statement. However, it is too simple. You can add more informantion that you will focus on in your research paper and narrow it down to a specific aspect of your topic. Also, you can try to write your thesis statement more argubale. 

good job

Dear Jumanah

Your thesis shoud be an arguable, so you need to add some argument points to your statement.

Dear Jumanah 

I think your thesis statement is too simple. According to Linda's instruction, thesis statement should not be a fact and need to be show what your purpose is.

And i think its not good to use  "in my opinion" in your thesis statement. 

Excep that i could understant what you are trying to write!

I HOPE YOUR STATEMENT BETTER! 

Your CLASS MATE

Dear Jumanah,

You got a good job, but your thesis statement requires slight modification.

You need more arguable sentence. In deed, you should have a direction for the entire paper.

What will you talk about your subculture?  What is your point about your topic?

Therefore, I recomend thath you have to check again Linda's thesis statement guidline on discussion board.  

Your classmate,