Chapter 11 and 12
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The word research has many meanings ranging from visions of scien-
tists working in labs to students reading piles of articles and books.
The primary focus of this chapter is on students’ process of research
and incorporating that research into academic writing. An important
concept related to research is that it is a process, not a single action.
The process includes the following:
●● Developing a research plan ●● Finding research related to a topic ●● Evaluating the credibility of sources ●● Taking notes ●● Integrating the research into your writing
Knowing this process allows students to allocate their research
time accordingly. Let’s dig into the research process and explore
what’s available to you at the Kaplan University library.
T ypes of ReseaRch Before beginning the research process, it is important to identify and
understand the two major types of research: primary and second-
ary. Primary research involves using firsthand sources for informa-
tion, where the material comes directly from an expert, researcher, or
writer. Primary research is the most credible type of research because
the information is original, and you, the researcher, will be the one
chapteR 11
ReseaRch
caRolYn steVenson
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to gather and analyze the information. Examples of primary research
include interviews, surveys, originally authored articles, witness
reports, and court records. If you write a research paper that includes
an interview with an expert in the field, the paper is considered pri-
mary research.
Conversely, secondary research involves using information that
relies on primary research. Referencing someone else’s work (which
is based on a primary source) is secondary research. Examples of sec-
ondary research include citing statistics gathered by a university or
organization, referring to an individual’s quote found in a periodical
article or popular media, and book reviews or critiques. Table 11.1
notes common sources for the two types of research.
Table 11.1 T ypes of ReseaRch
PRIMARY RESEARCH SECONDARY RESEARCH
� Original writing References to others’ work
Witnesses Items found in popular media
Diaries Journal articles that reference others’ work
Interviews Newspaper articles that reference others’ work
Surveys Data results quoted in another source
Fieldwork Book reviews or critiques
Court records
You can use both types of research, primary and secondary, in
your writing; the variety of using both types of sources adds valid-
ity and depth to the paper. You determine the need for either type of
research in your research plan.
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developing a ReseaRch plan Developing a research plan is the first phase in the research process.
A well-organized research plan provides a “road map” for the journey
of researching and writing. Taking time at the beginning of the proj-
ect assists in providing an organized structure needed in the research
process. The following steps describe and explain the process of
developing a research plan, as illustrated in Figure 11.1.
1. Decide on a topic
2. Consider the purpose
3. Identify sources and key words
4. Take notes
5. Evaluate credibility of sources
6. Develop an outline
7. Create a timeline
8. Review plagiarism guidelines
9. Request information
Figure 11.1: Steps in the Research Process
Decide on a Topic for Your Research Choose a topic that is personally interesting and meaningful, while
keeping the project requirements in mind. Having passion about the
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topic makes the research process go more smoothly. It is also impor-
tant to consider how much research the topic might yield, and if that
research is accessible through your research venues (e.g., Kaplan Uni-
versity’s library). It is useful to phrase the selected topic as a question.
For example, if you are interested in finding out about the effect of
stress on the body, you could use the following question: What effect
does stress have on a person’s emotional and physical well-being?
Consider the Purpose of the Research Decide what research approach to take based on the nature of the
topic. Are you required to write a persuasive paper that takes a posi-
tion on an issue? Is the research result intended to inform or designed
to entertain? Knowing why you are writing on a certain topic and what
you want to achieve as a result of your research and writing helps you
narrow down your choices of research sources.
Identify Possible Sources and Key Words for Your Information Look for a variety of sources for your research. Internet resources, the
Kaplan library, books, government reports, surveys, and journal arti-
cles are a few possible sources. You can also consider less traditional
sources, such as credible media broadcasts, documentaries, educational
institution Web sites, nonprofit organization publications, and legislative
or court documents. Define key words to help refine your search. In the
example noted earlier, key words to use in a search on the topic of stress
are stress, effects of stress on the body, or health and stress.
Take Notes on Information Read and review your gathered information, while taking notes on
important aspects of the sources. Include original quotes, summa-
ries, paraphrases (make sure to distinguish which are which), and
your reactions to the information. Organize your notes in a way that
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makes sense and is most helpful to you. It is useful to arrange notes
and references by major topics and then subtopics. As you take notes,
be sure to accurately record which sources you are using and the page
numbers from which you are getting information.
Evaluate the Credibility of Sources Review sources for the credibility of the author, timeliness of the pub-
lication, and accuracy of the content. Look up the authors on the Inter-
net or library database to see if they truly are experts on the subject.
How old is the article or book? Is the information in the article still
relevant? Does some of it seem outdated? If so, you might want to look
for articles that are more current. Does the content claim anything
incredible? If so, you might want to double-check other sources to see
if this same idea is presented. If not, it is worth the time to check and
make sure you have accurate and reliable information.
Develop an Outline Write an outline based on the research and separate the main points
of the research into main headings. Provide subheadings in the out-
line to address supporting topics and details. You can find information
on how to create an outline in Chapter 13, Outlining, pp. 143–158.
Create a Timeline for Completion Set dates for completing the various parts of your research plan. To
create the timeline, work backward from the due date of the paper
to the date work will begin on the process. Set realistic deadlines.
Expecting you can complete the entire research plan in two hours
probably isn’t realistic, and when you miss deadlines (even if they are
personal deadlines), the experience can become stressful. Don’t let
this happen. Break up your research plan into several manageable
steps so you have plenty of time to complete each part of the plan
effectively.
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sTRaTegies foR sUccess An Hour a Day It’s often difficult to block out five to seven hours of time in one or two days to “write an essay.” Furthermore, when it comes to school assignments, you must research most papers, so the “writing” actually involves researching, thinking, drafting, peer-reviewing, and then revising and editing. To do your best work, start early in the week, spend- ing an hour a day on the tasks associated with your writing assignment. In the beginning stages, concentrate on nar- rowing your topic, doing research, and drafting. In the next section of this Guide, you will continue this daily schedule by exchanging papers with peers for feedback, and then revising, editing, and proofreading before you submit your assignment.
• Day One: Visit Live Tutoring to narrow your topic and then search the Kaplan University library for three articles on this topic. Ask other students if they want to join a study group to exchange papers or bounce ideas off one another. Set up days and times to meet throughout the week.
• Day Two: Read and annotate articles, take notes, and visit Live Tutoring to get help with your thesis statement. Do a 10-minute freewrite on what you’ve learned about the topic so far. (Freewriting is a process where you sit down for a specific period of time and just write on your topic without paying attention to spelling, grammar, or punc- tuation. The idea is to generate ideas for a writing assign- ment; therefore, you write what you know about a topic, what you would like to know, or any other ideas related to your topic that come to mind. Continue writing, without stopping to correct your work for the time you have set aside for this exercise, generally 10–20 minutes.)
• Day Three: Ask questions from yesterday’s research notes and freewriting; get more articles if needed to answer questions. Read and annotate articles. Begin to outline your paper using your thesis as a guide. Meet with your study group if you have one set up. If not, you may want to invite fellow students to set up a study group.
• Day Four: Write your first draft from the outline. Visit Live Tutoring if you need help with developing body paragraphs or integrating research. Give your draft to a friend, family member, or coworker and ask for feedback.
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If you are working with your peers in a course, solicit their feedback as well.
• Day Five: Revisit research articles and read your first draft again. Offer feedback on a peer’s paper if one has been given to you. Based on the feedback you get from your peers, revise paragraphs, fill in the gaps, or delete unnec- essary information; focus on content only at this stage.
• Day Six: Read through your paper again and check it against the rubric and assignment description for com- pleteness. Edit at the sentence and word level. Check in-text and reference-page citations for correctness.
• Day Seven: Read the paper one more time to check for errors previously overlooked. Submit your paper on time.
Review Plagiarism Guidelines and Understand Related Issues Review guidelines for plagiarism that include using proper citation.
Any thought, idea, or expression that is not your own needs to include
a reference to the original source where that information came from.
Your notes from the research effort should clearly indicate what is
paraphrased and what is word-for-word from a source; this helps you
avoid plagiarism while integrating the research into your paper (see
Chapter 12, Basic Citation Guidelines, pp. 121–142).
Request Information Write for permission to use copyrighted material if necessary. Inquire
about interlibrary loans for books or journals not readily available
from the Kaplan library or a public library. If necessary (and within
project requirements), schedule interviews with accessible experts.
Upon completing the preceding steps of the research plan, you
can begin to write your first draft. An important aspect to remember is
to allow enough time to complete each part of the research plan.
condUcTing an online seaRch You can conduct an online search for a research project using two
main sources: the Kaplan University library and the Internet. This sec-
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tion first discusses ways to search the Kaplan library and then covers
how to search for credible sources on the Internet.
The Kaplan University Library With over 52,000 e-books and thousands of citations, abstracts, and
full-text articles, the Kaplan University library provides students with
access to a wealth of electronic study resources. If you are new to the
library, it is strongly suggested that you view the Library Orienta-
tion tutorial before using the library. You can find this tutorial on the
library’s home page, along with links to the following resources:
●● Super Search, which is a quick way to access several online
databases at one time ●● Electronic articles ●● Electronic books ●● Traditional books ●● Course reserves, which is a special area where instructors can
reserve specific articles for their classes to retrieve ●● How-to information on how to use the library resources ●● Contact information for library assistance
The Kaplan library has a number of databases available for gain-
ing access to research. Databases are electronic collections of refer-
ences on a specific topic, compiled according to specific disciplines,
such as health, science, legal study, and education. When deciding
on the type of database to use, ask the following questions: Does
the database cover my topic? Who is the intended audience for arti-
cles in this database? Does the database cover the appropriate time
period? Table 11.2 lists the databases that are currently available in
the Kaplan library and a description of the types of articles you can
find in each one. This list is frequently updated, so check the online
library often.
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Table 11.2 LIsT of DaTaBases IN The K apLaN LIBRaRy
DAtAbASES DESCRIPtION � Academic Search™ Premier
Academic Search™ Premier is the largest ac- ademic database, providing full-text articles from more than 4500 publications.
Business Source® Complete
Business Source® Complete provides schol- arly resources in the field of business.
Business Source® Premier Business Source® Premier is a popular business research database.
Cabell’s Directory of Publishing Opportunities
Cabell’s Directory of Publishing Opportuni- ties helps students, faculty and others find opportunities to publish their research.
Computer Source™ The Computer Source™ database is a great resource for finding out about technology trends.
EBSCO Animals™ The EBSCO Animals™ database houses research pertaining to animals.
ERIC The Education Resources Information Center (ERIC) focuses on educational topics and research.
Funk & Wagnalls New World Encyclopedia
Funk & Wagnalls provides a solely online en- cyclopedia covering a great diversity of topics.
Google Books Google Books provides full-text versions of thousands of books.
Health Source®: Consumer Edition
Health Source®: Consumer Edition focuses on a variety of health-related topics includ- ing nutrition, medicine and general health.
Health Source®: Nursing/ Academic Edition
The Health Source®: Nursing/Academic Edi- tion database provides resources for many medical disciplines.
[continued]
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Table 11.2 LIsT of DaTaBases IN The K apLaN LIBRaRy [continued]
DAtAbASES DESCRIPtION �
LISTA (Library, Information Science, & Technology Abstracts)
The LISTA database focuses on topics re- lated to information science such as library classification and cataloging, and informa- tion retrieval and management.
MasterFILE™ Premier MasterFILE™ Premier is a general interest database providing resources on many diverse topics.
MAS Ultra™ - School Edition
MAS Ultra™ - School Edition was created for high school libraries. With a focus on cur- rent events, the database houses full-text articles for nearly 500 publications.
Middle Search Plus Middle Search Plus is a magazine database aimed at middle school readers.
Newspaper Source™ The Newspaper Source™ database contains full-text newspaper articles from nearly 300 national and international newspapers, as well as television and radio transcripts.
Primary Search™ Primary Search™ is a magazine database aimed at elementary school readers.
Professional Development Collection™
The Professional Development Collection™ houses full-text articles in the field of educa- tion and is geared toward professionals in the field of education.
ProQuest Criminal Justice Periodicals Index™
The ProQuest Criminal Justice Periodicals Index™ provides indexing and abstracts for nearly 200 U.S. and international journals covering a broad range of criminal justice issues.
PubMed The National Library of Medicine’s PubMed indexes research in the field of medicine.
[continued]
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Table 11.2 LIsT of DaTaBases IN The K apLaN LIBRaRy [continued]
DAtAbASES DESCRIPtION �
Regional Business News™ Regional Business News™ focuses on full-text articles from business journals, magazines, and newspapers from around the United States.
TOPICsearch™ TOPICsearch™ contains current event articles in popular fields such as the social and natural sciences.
Vocational & Career Collection™
Vocational & Career Collection™ was cre- ated for vocational and technical libraries and houses articles from hundreds of trade- related magazines and other publications.
Internet Searches The Internet provides a convenient way to conduct research because
of the ease of access to a wide variety of resources. It is important to
appropriately use resources found on the Internet and ensure that the
information is from a credible source. A number of search engines are
available to assist in finding credible sources. Some services, such as
ERIC, the Education Resources Information Center (http://www.eric.
ed.gov/), provide free access to academic databases. Some special-
ized databases require a fee.
Search engines are used to find a Web site or search a database.
A variety of search engines is available for free use, including the
following:
●● AOL.com ●● Ask.com ●● Bing.com ●● Dogpile.com ●● Google.com
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●● Metacrawler.com ●● MSN.com ●● Yahoo.com
Government resources for searching for government publications
include the following:
●● opencrs.com for Congressional Research Service Reports ●● gao.gov for the Government Accountability Office ●● bls.gov/ for the Bureau of Labor Statistics ●● cdc.gov/nchs/ for the National Center for Health Statistics ●● census.gov/ for the U.S. Census Bureau
how To evalUaTe soURces There is a wealth of information for use in research. The quality and
credibility of research sources vary considerably. As such, it is impor-
tant to locate sources related to the research topic and critically evalu-
ate those sources. Sources obtained from the Internet need special
consideration. Closely review the credibility of the URL. Because anyone
can publish on the Web, it is important to separate credible, researched
facts from biased opinions or information not based on research or
review. Evaluate all sources for the credibility of the author, timeliness
of the publication, and quality of the content of information.
Author Consider the author’s credentials when evaluating the credibility of a
source. When researching authors, consider their institutional affilia-
tion (where the author works). Does the author work for an institution
that has a solid reputation? Have you heard of the institution? In addi-
tion, review the values and mission of the organization. Other aspects
of author credibility include past publications, educational back-
ground, and experience. Credible authors commonly publish in other
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documents or books. Check the references section of other research to
see if course textbooks or other resources cite the author.
Timeliness Check the publication date of the source. Books usually list the
copyright date on the first page where the publisher information is
included. Electronic sources usually list the date for the latest revision
at the bottom of the home page. Timeliness of publication depends on
the nature of the research. For example, when providing background
or historical data, the date can be older. For topics related to current
events or topics related to science and technology, you most likely will
want information that is more current. A general rule regarding dates
is to include information written within the last five years when histori-
cal or foundational material is not being used. When researching top-
ics related to current events, try to find sources as close to the present
year as possible. The more timely the publication, typically, the more
current (relevant) the information.
Content To evaluate the credibility of the content of the source, begin by read-
ing the author’s preface and review the table of contents. Does the
information include major concepts related to your topic? Also, review
the references section at the end of articles and books. Frequently,
authors will cite other sources to add to the credibility of the content
of the information.
Consider the intended audience for the publication—and whether
content appropriate for that audience is also appropriate for your
paper. Highly specialized information needs to be explained in your
paper, whereas too general information needs further research to add
necessary insights. Look for bias and emotionally charged words and
language in the writing; if the content shows bias, the author should
acknowledge the bias toward the topic.
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Further evaluation efforts include the writing style, which should
be clear and concise. If graphics or other visuals are included, the
information needs to be readable, clearly labeled, and add value to
the text. Additionally, look to see if the source has been peer-reviewed
(i.e., reviewed by a group of experts in the field). The peer review adds
credibility because other individuals who are considered experts in
the field have reviewed the information prior to publication. The infor-
mation should be based on fact and researched opinion rather than
unsupported claims and opinions.
Internet Sources Because anyone can publish on the Web, carefully review Internet
sources. Performing a general Internet search can be very time-
consuming based on the amount of information available through a
general word search. Just because something is on the Web does not
mean it is a credible source. In addition to evaluating sources for the
criteria listed previously, Internet sources should also include an eval-
uation based on the following:
●● Blogs, wikis, newsgroups, and listservs: These sources are
available to anyone, and once registered, you can post informa-
tion on a topic. Although many contain credible information,
the sources can be biased because anyone can post a comment
or share a personal opinion and it might be difficult to distin-
guish fact from opinion. Be certain to verify information and the
author’s qualifications prior to citing this material. ●● Commercial (.com) sites: URLs ending in .com indicate a
commercial site. The purpose of commercial sites is to sell
a product or service. This information is typically biased
toward a product or opinion. Commercial sites can be used
for a specific purpose, but this should be indicated in the
writing. For example, commercial sites are useful when con-
ducting research on a specific product for a marketing class.
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●● Noncommercial (.edu, .gov, and .org) sites: These sites are
considered to have more reliable information than commercial
sites. The intention of the sites is not to sell a product or ser-
vice; however, because these sites focus on a specific institu-
tion, government agency, or organization mission, some bias
might exist. ●● Author affiliation: A listing that includes author affiliation
to an organization or institution does not always mean the
organization approved the content of the writing. If a phone
number or e-mail address for the organization is included,
contact the organization or institution to verify the validity
and approval of the content, especially if it is questionable. ●● Current links and information: Links should be active and not
broken. Information should not reference outdated informa-
tion or events. If it does, the rest of the material might be just
as outdated. ●● Promotion of products or services: A site that includes a
large number of pop-up ads or text ads takes away from the
objectivity of the author. The purpose and intention of the site
needs to be clearly understood.
The following is a checklist of criteria you can use to evaluate a
source whether online or in print. You do not have to evaluate every
source for every detail mentioned in the checklist.
1. Author ●❑ Who is the author? ●❑ Does the author work for an institution that has a solid
reputation? ●❑ Have you heard of the institution? ●❑ What are the values and mission of the organization? ●❑ Has the author published in the past? ●❑ Does the author have a relevant academic degree?
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●❑ What type of experience does the author have in the field? ●❑ Have other publications or course textbooks referenced this
author?
2. Timeliness ●❑ Is the publication date current? ●❑ Does the source include the most recent edition or latest
revisions? ●❑ Does the topic need current information?
3. Content ●❑ Does the information in the preface or table of contents
include major concepts related to your topic? ●❑ Is there a references section at the end? ●❑ Who is the intended audience for the publication? ●❑ Is the content highly specialized, too basic, or appropriate? ●❑ Are the words and language biased or emotionally based? ●❑ If the content of the information demonstrates author bias,
does the author acknowledge bias toward the topic? ●❑ Is the writing style clear and concise? ●❑ Do graphics or other visuals present readable and clearly
labeled information? Do they add value to the text? ●❑ Was the writing peer-reviewed? ●❑ Is the information based on fact and researched opinion
rather than unsupported claims and opinions?
4. Internet Sources ●❑ Does the author have some credibility in the field? ●❑ Is the author biased, as demonstrated through advertisements
promoting a product, service, organization, or political view? ●❑ Does the source include a phone or e-mail address to verify
validity of the author and obtain approval for publishing the
content? ●❑ Are links active and accurate? ●❑ Does the source reference current information or does it
appear outdated?
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●❑ Is the information referenced from a noncommercial site?
(Social networking tools such as Facebook, blogs, or wikis
have not been used.)
noTe-Taking MeThods Note taking is an important part of the research process. You use your
notes in the evaluation process of deciding what information will be
included in the research paper. Common note-taking methods include
notebook method, note cards, outlining, mapping, and charting.
You can record notes electronically by creating a database for
sources or by using handwritten 3 x 5 note cards. Although the format
is dependent on the student, several points pertain to all methods of
note taking:
●● Know the topic. Note taking can assist in understanding a
subject better. Avoid copying words directly from a source.
If you are able to accurately paraphrase information about
an idea, concept, or general information, you truly know the
information. Be certain to note exactly where all your informa-
tion comes from in order to avoid plagiarism. ●● Choose information that applies to the topic. Research on
a subject can cover a wide range of information. Select only
information from research that directly pertains to your topic.
Not every detail needs to be included in notes. ●● Write clearly. If you take notes in a handwritten format, write
legibly and record the information accurately. If using a form
of shorthand, be sure you will be able to interpret the abbrevi-
ated version of writing. ●● Use color. Highlight important sections of notes with various
colors. It is useful to select a specific color for each major cat-
egory in the research and a different color for the correspond-
ing subtopics.
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●● Select a note-taking method. Choose a note-taking method
that is easy to understand and lists all the required information
that will later be included in the references section of the paper.
The following sections explain the basic concepts behind each of
the note-taking strategies mentioned earlier.
Notebook Method Using this method, you record information on a single page or multiple
pages in a notebook. When recording information electronically, you
can create a template, such as the following example, in a Microsoft®
Word document.
Author: Title: Publisher/Internet site: Year of publication/copyright:
Write down the topic.
Review the source material and record important quotes, para- phrase information, summarize key points, and create any notes on the material.
Provide any personal reflection on the information.
Record the page number or URL for the source of information.
Repeat the process for information from the same source.
Create a new page for a separate source.
Another way to approach the notebook method is to use sheets of
paper instead of your word-processing program. Begin by creating three
columns. In the left column, write down the topic. In the middle column,
record important quotes, paraphrase information, summarize key points,
and create any notes on the material. Provide any personal reflection on
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the information. In the right column, record the page number, electronic
article database name, or URL for the source of information.
Note Cards You can use note cards for research as well. You can use either 3 x 5
index cards or you can create note cards in Microsoft® Word.
Use a separate note card for each source. On each card, record the
source information in a particular style format, such as Modern Lan-
guage Association (MLA), American Psychological Association (APA),
or a specific style your instructor wants you to use. Next, compile your
notes from the source, whether it is a quote, paraphrase, or summary
(see Chapter 12, Basic Citation Guidelines, pp. 121–142, for a full expla-
nation of these terms). You can take notes on the back of the cards them-
selves so you always know exactly where your references were found. It
also helps to record the page number from your sources because some
citation styles require that information even for paraphrases. Figure
11.2 shows a sample note card with source information. This informa-
tion can be printed on one side of the card, and your notes, quotes, or
paraphrases can be written on the other side of the card.
Martinez, Diane.
“Writing in An Online Environment.”
Journal of Online Writing
2.3 (2009): 17-34. Print.
Figure 11.2: Sample Research Notecard
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Outlining The outlining format for taking notes can provide a clear division
between main topics and subtopics. Often, longer sources include
major headings and subheadings, which can serve as a format for the
research outline. Divide information in the outline into major topics,
subtopics, and supporting details. When available, it is also important
to include the page number after each major topic or supporting point.
A sample outline for a paper on “The Benefits of Online Learning” is
shown here.
Author: Carolyn Stevenson Title: Online Learning Publisher/Internet site: Insight Book Co. Year of publication/copyright: 2009
Benefits of online learning (pp. 56–78)
• Convenience: Students can access classes anytime, anywhere from a computer (p. 57).
• Time: No commuter time is involved (p. 59). ●■ Current research (pp. 70–78)
– Current research finds online learning beneficial to
adult learners who have a high level of motivation
and accountability (p. 72).
– Online learning is growing in popularity as more
adults are returning to college (p. 75).
Mapping The mapping method of note taking is useful for organizing informa-
tion in a relationship format. A main idea is presented and supporting
points are connected to the main idea. Figure 11.3 shows a sample
map.
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Author: Carrie Hannigan Title: Benefits of Distance Education Publisher/Internet site: Hybrid Books Ltd. Year of publication/copyright: 2009
Hybrid
Classroom + Computer
Online
Computer Only
Distance Learning
2 TYPES
Figure 11.3: Mapping Method on the Topic of Distance Learning
Charting When conducting research on a topic involving chronological order
(such as a history paper), the charting method is useful for organizing
facts and dates. Create columns on notebook paper or create a tem-
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plate in Microsoft® Word. Table 11.3 shows an example of the charting
method.
Table 11.3 chaRTING MeThoD of NoTe TaKING DAtE EVENt PEOPLE SIGNIFICANCE SOURCE PAGE NO. � 1848– 1920
Women’s suffrage
Alice Paul Women’s right to vote
Sample, A. (2009). Right to vote. Thousand Oaks, CA: Insight Publishing.
100–112
Research is a critical step in writing a strong and interesting
paper. When gathering your research, remember to critically evalu-
ate your sources to make sure that they are relevant to your topic and
credible, too. As a college student, you want to ensure your sources
are also scholarly sources that can be found easily through the Kaplan
University library.
121
Consider times when someone has taken credit for your work whether
at school, in the workplace, or in other situations. Ideas, words, art-
work, music, videos, and other tangible products you create are yours,
and no one has the right to take those products and pass them off as
their own, whether intentionally or unintentionally. To do so is simply
stealing and the people doing this are misrepresenting themselves.
When it comes to writing, this principle is strictly adhered to in both
school and the workplace. In fact, there have been several highly pub-
licized instances where people have suffered severe consequences
for using others’ ideas or words without permission. They have lost
millions of dollars, and they have been publicly humiliated by being
called out on national television, in addition to facing the prospect of
no one ever publishing their work again.
People can lose jobs and ruin careers when they do not provide
proper credit for work they borrow from someone else. This chapter
is designed to help you avoid such problems by providing you with
the basics behind citation, such as why and when we cite. While you
are in school, you will be asked to apply this information to your own
writing assignments by using a particular style guide. There are a
variety of style guides in use at Kaplan University including APA, MLA
and Bluebook, so you will learn how to look up and cross-reference
chapteR 12
Basic citation guidelines
diane MaRtinez
122 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
source information in the most commonly used styles. Always ask
your instructor which style to use if it is not clear to you.
whaT is plagiaRisM? Plagiarism occurs when you use words, ideas, photographs, or other
creative works such as art without giving credit to the original authors
or artists. When you do not cite where or whom you borrowed from,
you are passing those ideas, words, or artwork off as your own, as
your original creations; thus, you are stealing and taking credit for
work you did not do. Whether intentional or not, that is plagiarism.
Think of it this way: If you don’t mean to cheat on your taxes but you
calculate your taxes wrong, the IRS still penalizes you. The same con-
cept holds true for plagiarism. You might not intend to plagiarize;
however, if you don’t know how or when to cite when you borrow infor-
mation, you are still guilty of stealing someone else’s work. There-
fore, it is crucial to learn the rules and use citation properly to avoid
plagiarism.
Kaplan University has a firm plagiarism policy and you should be
aware of what that policy is. You will find this policy in the syllabus of
most, if not all, of your courses at Kaplan. It is also shown below.
The Kaplan University Plagiarism Policy (2010) Kaplan University considers academic honesty to be one of its
highest values. Students are expected to be the sole authors
of their work. Use of another person’s work or ideas must be
accompanied by specific citations and references. Though not a
comprehensive or exhaustive list, the following are some exam-
ples of dishonesty or unethical and unprofessional behavior:
●● Plagiarism: Using another person’s words, ideas, or
results without giving proper credit to that person; giv-
ing the impression that it is the student’s own work. ●● Any form of cheating on examinations.
123Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
●● Altering academic or clinical records. ●● Falsifying information for any assignments. ●● Submitting an assignment(s) that was partially or
wholly completed by another student. ●● Copying work or written text from a student, the Inter-
net, or any document without giving due credit to the
source of the information. ●● Submitting an assignment(s) for more than one class
without enhancing and refining the assignment, and
without first receiving instructor permission. In cases
where previous assignments are allowed to be sub-
mitted for another class, it is the responsibility of the
student to enhance the assignment with additional
research and to also submit the original assignment for
comparison purposes. ●● Assisting another student with reasonable knowledge
that the other student intends to commit any act of
academic dishonesty. This offense would include,
but would not be limited to providing an assignment
to another student to submit as his/her own work or
allowing another student to copy answers to any test,
examination, or assignment.
In essence, plagiarism is the theft of someone else’s ideas and
work. Whether a student copies verbatim or simply rephrases
the ideas of another without properly acknowledging the
source, it is still plagiarism. In the preparation of work sub-
mitted to meet course requirements, whether a draft or a final
version of a paper or project, students must take great care
to distinguish their own ideas and language from information
derived from other sources. Sources include published pri-
mary and secondary materials, electronic media, and informa-
tion and opinions gathered directly from other people.
124 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
A discussion thread, computer program, marketing plan,
PowerPoint presentation, and other similar work produced
to satisfy a course requirement are, like a paper, expected
to be the original work of the student submitting it. Copying
documentation from another student or from any other source
without proper citation is a form of academic dishonesty, as
is producing work substantially from the work of another. Stu-
dents must assume that collaboration in the completion of
written assignments is prohibited unless explicitly permitted
by the instructor. Students must acknowledge any collabora-
tion and its extent in all submitted coursework. Students are
subject to disciplinary action if they submit as their own work
a paper purchased from a term paper company or downloaded
from the Internet.
Kaplan University subscribes to a third-party plagiarism
detection service, and reserves the right to check all student
work to verify that it meets the guidelines of this policy.
Academic dishonesty is a serious offense and may result
in the following sanctions:
1st offense: Failure of the assignment in which the
action occurred.
2nd offense: Failure of the class in which the action
occurred.
3rd offense: Expulsion or permanent dismissal from
the University.
Plagiarism charges remain on a student’s record permanently.
Any offenses a student accumulates while completing a pro-
gram will be carried over if and when a student reenrolls in a
program or begins a new program at the University.
Procedures for processing plagiarism offenses are as fol-
lows: Charges of academic dishonesty brought against a stu-
125Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
dent shall be made in writing by the instructor to the Provost’s
Office. When an offense has been committed, the Provost’s
Office sends the student a copy of the plagiarism policy and
a letter of the action taken, and informs the Academic Depart-
ment Chair, the Academic Advisor, and the course instructor of
any plagiarism charges. The Provost’s Office maintains a data-
base of plagiarism offenses and a file of all plagiarism charges.
Self-Plagiarism Self-plagiarism occurs when you present your own previously pub-
lished work as if it were brand new. If you look at the Kaplan plagia-
rism policy, it states that submitting the same paper for more than
one assignment is considered plagiarism. Although your paper from a
previous class might not be published, you cannot use it for credit for
more than one assignment. If you would like to use and expand on an
assignment from a previous class, you must first submit your original
assignment to your instructor and ask for permission to continue your
research on the topic; however, your new assignment should be sig-
nificantly different from the previous one.
In a professional sense, self-plagiarism is a serious offense
because journals that publish your work want the most current
research; they usually do not want to print previously published
research. If you do not let publishers know that your work was previ-
ously published and they run your piece only to find out later that it
was published in another journal, you will likely not ever be consid-
ered for publication again by either journal. This is also called mul-
tiple submissions and such practice is not acceptable in the publishing
world unless a publisher specifically says that multiple submissions or
previously published manuscripts are acceptable.
whaT is a ciTaTion? Citing sources or providing citation means including select informa-
tion about books, articles, or other sources you read and included
126 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
information from in your paper. The reasons you provide citations are
(a) to give proper credit for words, ideas, graphics, or other informa-
tion you borrow from others and (b) to help readers find sources you
used in case they want to read more from those pieces for themselves.
Two main terms are associated with citation: in-text citation and
full citation, both of which are explained in the following sections.
In-Text Citation An in-text citation is a shortened notation that is inserted right into
the text of a paper and indicates to readers that the information you
just used was borrowed from someone else. It is shortened because a
full entry with all of the information needed to look up a source would
interfere with reading your paper. In most cases, an in-text citation is
simply the author’s last name and date of publication or a page num-
ber. However, as you will learn shortly, in-text citation format varies
depending on the style guide you use, and for some style guides, in-
text citations vary between paraphrases and quotations, as well as
what information is available to you on the original document that you
are using. A couple of examples are as follows:
For APA, you use the author’s last name and date of publica-
tion for a paraphrase, as in (Martinez, 2008).
In MLA, you use the author’s last name and page number,
whether or not you paraphrase or quote, as in (Martinez 3).
If an author’s name is not available, you would include the title
enclosed in quotation marks and then either the date of pub-
lication or page number depending on whether you are using
APA or MLA, or some other guide. Here’s an example in APA
format: (“The Good Student,” 2009).
127Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
Each style guide dictates what information to include in an in-text
citation, but it is important to remember that an in-text citation is a
shortened citation meant to be unobtrusive to the reader, whereas a
full citation is reserved for the reference page, bibliography, or works
cited page (the name depends on what style guide you are using).
Full Citation A full citation is all of the information readers need to know if they
want to retrieve an article, book, or other source cited in your paper.
These citations are listed on a separate page called the reference
page, works cited page, or bibliography so that the full citation infor-
mation does not interfere with reading the paper. Readers use in-text
citations to cross-reference the full citation at the end of the docu-
ment. For instance, if an in-text citation looks like this (Smith, 2002),
a reader can turn to the page with the full citation and look for a book
or article written by an author with the last name Smith and published
in the year 2002.
One thing to remember about full citations is that the information
you provide is based on the type of source because the way you look
up and retrieve a book is quite different from the way you look up and
retrieve a Web site or an article from an online database. A sample full
citation in APA for a book looks like this:
Smith, T. (2002). A life well-lived. Hoboken, NJ: Insight Book
Co.
whereas an APA full citation for a Web page looks like this:
East Coast Gardeners Association. (2009). Winter gardens.
Retrieved from http://www.eastcoastgardens.com/win-
tergardens.html
128 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
As you can see from the previous examples, books are retrieved by
looking up an author’s name, the year the book was published, the
title, and the publisher. All of these are needed to ensure the reader
has the same book that you used in your paper. A Web page, on the
other hand, is a dynamic and electronic source, so it is retrieved by
knowing the URL or Web address, as well as the title of the Web page
or the name of the organization that sponsors the page or site, if one
is provided.
Why Do We Cite? As mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, there are two main rea-
sons to cite sources. The first is to give credit to those whose informa-
tion we borrow. The United States is an individualistic society, which
means individual contributions are highly valued. This also means
that when we use an individual’s ideas, words, artwork, or anything
else, we give credit to that individual. Giving credit is usually the main
reason you cite in your school papers, but you also cite because your
readers might want more information, too.
As readers make their way through your essay, article, or what-
ever form of writing you put out, they might take particular interest in
the topic you wrote on; thus, they might want to do more research on
their own. One way they can do that is to look up the sources you use
in your paper. That is why there are two types of citation. The in-text
citation shows readers where certain ideas or words came from, and
the shortened version of citation cross-references the full citation at
the end of the paper. From the full citation, readers then have all of the
information they need to retrieve a source.
When Do We Cite? Some students are confused by when they should cite information. A
simple rule to follow is: Whenever information does not come out of
your own head, you must cite it. This includes when you use some-
one’s words (quotations), ideas (paraphrases), and illustrations of
129Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
ideas (graphics). The following information discusses citation in rela-
tion to quotations and paraphrases in detail.
Quotations You use quotations when you borrow someone else’s words and you
want to use those exact words in your own paper. Quotations are actu-
ally used sparingly in most academic writing because quotations must
include quotation marks and a citation, which often slow down the read-
ing. Additionally, too many quotations make a paper sound more like a
summary and your own original ideas are lost in the sea of quotations.
You can use three general guidelines for when to use quotations
in a paper:
1. When you are critiquing someone’s exact words. For instance,
if you wanted to argue that your performance in the community
theater last night was not as bad as a reviewer made it seem in
a newspaper article, you would want to critique, thus quote, the
exact words of the reviewer.
2. When you want to include dialogue in your paper, and in that
instance, you want to be sure you quote the person’s exact
words.
3. When the original author’s words are so eloquent and exact that
you cannot find a way to paraphrase and still maintain the same
meaning and/or image that the original passage does.
When you borrow words (quotations) to include in your own paper,
you have to do three things:
1. Copy the words exactly as they are written in the original piece.
2. Enclose the words you borrowed in quotation marks, which look
like this: “quotation.”
3. Include an in-text citation after the quotation and a full citation
on the reference page.
130 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
To help make your writing flow, it is good practice to use signal
words to integrate quotations instead of just inserting them abruptly
and separately. For example:
“Most conventional healthcare providers prescribe medicine that
only alleviates a patient’s symptoms” (Jones, 2004, p. 3). “Alter-
native medicine seeks to help patients prevent illness by under-
standing underlying causes” (Smith, 2007, p. 99). Some people
think there is a good way to balance the two for optimal health.
In this example, the quotes are related to the subject in that the
paragraph is comparing conventional and alternative medicine as
evidenced by the last sentence in the paragraph; however, this para-
graph could be more informative and the writing could flow better if
signal words were used.
Signal words help smoothly integrate a quotation into a para-
graph so that the writing flows. Signal words usually indicate the
position of the author on the subject you are writing about. Table 12.1
shows some sample signal words and phrases.
Table 12.1 sIGNaL WoRDs
NEUtRAL POSItION SHOWS AGREEMENt
SHOWS
DISAGREEMENt �
Comments Admits Defends
Describes Agrees Contends
Explains Concedes Holds
Illustrates Insists
Notes Maintains
[continued]
131Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
Table 12.1 sIGNaL WoRDs [continued]
NEUtRAL POSItION SHOWS AGREEMENt
SHOWS
DISAGREEMENt � Observes Warns
Points Out Suggests
Says
Explains
When rewriting the previous example using signal phrases, it might
look something like this, where the highlighted areas include signal
words that help make the writing flow more smoothly than in the previ-
ous example:
Conventional medicine is often viewed as providing immediate
relief for illness. John Jones (2003), a 13-year DO in New York
City, contends that “most conventional healthcare providers pre-
scribe medicine that only alleviates a patient’s symptoms” (p.
3). This sentiment is echoed by another healthcare provider who
explains that “alternative medicine seeks to help patients pre-
vent illness by understanding underlying causes” (Smith, 2007,
p. 99). It seems logical, therefore, that optimal health can be
achieved by balancing conventional and alternative approaches
to medicine because they both have benefits to patients.
Long or Block Quotations For most style guides, quotations that are 40 or more words are
considered long or block quotes. They are often called block quotes
because they are set off separate from a paragraph in an indented
block. By setting off a long quote like this, it makes it easier for read-
ers to differentiate the quote from the rest of the text. The following is
a sample block quote using the MLA style:
132 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
MLA is a style guide that allows authors and readers to give
credit for borrowed work in a uniform way so that there is no
confusion among readers as to what information is borrowed
and how to look up sources that were used in a paper. (Marti-
nez 3)
Paraphrasing You are paraphrasing when you borrow someone else’s idea only but
you put that idea in your own words. Paraphrasing is preferred when
you want to incorporate research into your writing because too many
quotations interfere with reading and often make your paper come
across more like summarizing instead of putting forth original ideas
of your own. Please refer back to the three guidelines for when to use
quotations (p. 129).
The one critical aspect about paraphrasing is that you are simply
borrowing an idea, and the words in which you express that idea have
to be entirely your own. If you use too many of the original author’s
words in your paraphrase, that is a case for plagiarism. You may, how-
ever, use technical terms and statistics from the original when you
paraphrase.
Here are some guidelines to help you avoid plagiarism when
paraphrasing:
1. Always make note of the source you are working with by putting
the full citation in APA format at the top of your notebook page.
2. Read the original passage several times before attempting to
paraphrase. Be sure to understand completely and clearly the
idea being expressed and the context in which the material is
being used.
3. Write down, in your own words, the idea of the passage without
looking back at the original. Looking back can sometimes make
you want to use the same words.
133Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
4. Determine if the wording in the paraphrase captures the exact
meaning as the original.
5. Ask is the paraphrase used in the same context as the original?
Is the borrowed idea used in the same manner that it was used in
the original or has it been altered so that it serves a completely
different purpose? Taking an idea out of context is faulty research
and damages your argument.
6. Ask someone else to read the original, then read the paraphrase,
and then compare the meaning and context between the two.
(Adapted from Martinez, Peterson, Wells, Hannigan, & Ste-
venson, 2008, p. 85)
Preventing plagiarism begins with careful note taking while first
reviewing a source and ends when the borrowed material is accurately
cited in the form of the preferred style guide. The actual content of
the paraphrase needs to be completely original, even when using a
citation. The following examples show acceptable and unacceptable
paraphrases:
Original passage: “Educational leaders posed with the task of
integrating ethics into undergraduate general education cur-
riculum are faced with finding faculty who are interested in the
topic instead of forcing faculty who are not interested into teach-
ing a subject they are not committed to” (Stevenson, 2007, p. 5).
Acceptable paraphrase: When it comes to teaching ethics in
undergraduate programs, it is preferable to use faculty who
have a profound interest in the subject to teach such courses
(Stevenson, 2007).
Unacceptable paraphrase: Educational leaders have to find
faculty who are interested in ethics instead of forcing teachers
134 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
who are not interested in teaching a subject they are not com-
mitted to (Stevenson, 2007).
The acceptable paraphrase is fine because it rewords the main idea of
Stevenson’s original passage about the effectiveness of using willing
and interested faculty to teach ethics in undergraduate courses.
The unacceptable paraphrase is plagiarized because too many
words from the original passage are used without quotation marks
around those words.
Summarizing Summarizing is very similar to paraphrasing in that you take informa-
tion from a research source and put it into your own words, but the
purpose and format for a summary differ from a paraphrase in the fol-
lowing ways:
●● A summary captures the main points of a passage. ●● A summary is meant to help students learn material so that
they ●■ know what the main points of a document are and ●■ learn the material so well that they can capture the
main ideas in their own words instead of using some-
one else’s words.
The following is an example of how to summarize information.
Original passage: Collaboration with others is part of living
and working in the professional world. A high portion of our
daily communication occurs in groups, such as family, cowork-
ers, and friends. Regardless of career choice, it is likely that
individuals will spend a considerable part of their personal and
professional lives working in collaboration with others. The
135Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
changing environment of the workplace has caused an increase
in the use of virtual teams for collaborative projects. The major
difference between a virtual team and a team that meets face-
to-face is the distance that lies between members. It is distance
that affects the interaction between group members. Tech-
nologies, such as teleconferencing, e-mail, Web-enabled chat,
groupware, and shared file programs, have made communica-
tion at a distance and virtual collaboration possible. Through
technology, virtual teams are able to interact, complete proj-
ects, and resolve conflicts (Martinez et al., 2008, p. 167).
To summarize the preceding paragraph, highlight the main ideas of
the paragraph.
Collaboration with others is part of living and working in the
professional world. A high portion of our daily communica-
tion occurs in groups, such as family, coworkers, and friends.
Regardless of career choice, it is likely that individuals will
spend a considerable part of their personal and professional
lives working in collaboration with others. The changing envi-
ronment of the workplace has caused an increase in the use of
virtual teams for collaborative projects. The major difference
between a virtual team and a team that meets face-to-face is
the distance that lies between members. It is distance that
affects the interaction between group members. Technologies,
such as teleconferencing, e-mail, Web-enabled chat, group-
ware, and shared file programs, have made communication
at a distance and virtual collaboration possible. Through tech-
nology, virtual teams are able to interact, complete projects,
and resolve conflicts (Martinez et al., 2008, p. 167).
Now, put those main ideas into your own words (paraphrase).
136 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Paraphrased passage: Today’s workplace is quite different
than it was 20 years ago. More people are working remotely or
companies are so large that they have different sites through-
out the world. This change in the workplace has increased the
need for virtual teams; however, the need for collaboration
has not changed. Distance can affect how well a group works
together, but modern technology, such as e-mail, instant
messaging, groupware, and shared file programs have made
communication with virtual team members possible and an
effective means for getting the job done (Martinez et al., 2008).
Summaries are most helpful for learning new material. Summaries
should be written in your own words because when you have read a
passage closely enough or enough times that you can take the main
ideas expressed in the original and put those ideas into your own
words, you have truly learned the material. If you have to keep look-
ing back at the original passage and using someone else’s words, you
have not quite grasped what the main ideas are; therefore, you have
to study the meaning behind the passage until you can state the main
points in your own words. Summarized material in your paper needs to
be cited, just as paraphrased material is cited.
How Do We Cite? Each style guide has its own rules and reasons for citation; the rules
and formatting are not random. Most style guides are written for par-
ticular disciplines; therefore, the rules and format for citations are
designed specifically for the kind of information needed and used
within that profession. For instance, Bluebook is a style guide used
in the legal field. Bluebook’s style and format cater to displaying per-
tinent information for retrieving court cases, legislation, and briefs.
Associated Press (AP) is a style guide for journalism, which means
that no citations are provided in the text and no references page is
required either. This way of writing is due to the nature of journalism
137Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
in that newspaper or online news articles cater to an audience that is
interested in reading about a news story with eyewitness or firsthand
accounts. Generally, not much, if any, background or outside research
is incorporated into a news story because it is timely, and when peo-
ple read the news, they are most interested in what is happening now.
Therefore, AP is a style that shows how to set up quotations or para-
phrase firsthand accounts, but generally citations, if any are included,
are minimized. On the other hand, American Psychological Association
(APA) is a style that is used in the social sciences and sometimes in
business. This means that readers are expecting writers to use the
most current information and they do care where their research comes
from. The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE) is a
professional organization dedicated to technological advances, and
it, too, has its own style guide that is geared toward information that
scientists and engineers would need to know to retrieve informational
resources like scientific papers.
Cross-Referencing The key to properly citing your sources is to learn how to cross-ref-
erence. This means that you take the information you are given in a
journal article, for instance, and you look up in your style guide how
to cite a journal article retrieved from an online database, and then
you set up the information from the article into the format of the style
guide. Here’s an example:
Information available to you in a journal article:
Diane Martinez, “Writing in an Online Environment” in the
Journal of Online Writing published in May of 2009. The jour-
nal volume is 3 and the issue number is 2. The article is 18
pages long, beginning on page 17 and ending on page 34.
If you use MLA to format this entry, here’s what you would find in
the style guide:
138 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Author’s last name, First name. “Title of the Article.” Title
of the Journal Volume. Issue (Year of publication): page
numbers. Medium of the publication.
Using the original information, the citation would then look like
this:
Martinez, Diane. “Writing in an Online Environment.” Journal
of Online Writing 2.3 (2009): 17–34. Print.
Where Do We Get the Rules for Citation? The most accurate information about how to cite using a particular
style guide is going to come from official resources, such as credible
Web sites or the official book put out by the organization. Table 12.2
lists online resources where you can find information about each type
of style. You can also find out the title of the official book for that style
on each of these sites, as most offer a way to order the books online.
Table 12.2 oNLINe ResoURces foR VaRIoUs sT yLe GUIDes
St YLE ONLINE RESOURCES � AP http://www.apstylebook.com
APA http://www.apastyle.org
AMA http://www.amamanualofstyle.com
Bluebook http://www.legalcitation.net
Chicago Manual of Style (CMS)
http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/home.html
Government http://www.gpo.gov
[continued]
139Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
Table 12.2 oNLINe ResoURces foR VaRIoUs sT yLe GUIDes [continued]
St YLE ONLINE RESOURCES � IEEE http://www.ieee.org/portal/site
MLA http://www.mla.org
Oxford http://www.oup.com
A Word About Citing Electronic Sources Sometimes students think that electronic information is always found
when provided with a URL or Internet address. This is rarely, if ever,
the case when using a particular style guide because most profes-
sional organizations know that Web links can be broken. This is why,
generally, electronic documents follow the same rules for citation
as print publications. For instance, suppose you are using informa-
tion from a Web site. If the Web site lists an author, for APA, MLA,
and CMS, you would use the author’s last name for an in-text citation
along with whatever other information the particular style guide calls
for, such as date and paragraph number for APA or just paragraph
number for MLA. It is a safe bet to make that none of the style guides
use the URL address for the in-text citation, so take care not to fall
into that habit.
Citing Graphics Graphics, such as charts, graphs, photographs, or artwork, that you
want to use in your own papers have to be cited so that the informa-
tion presented in such graphics, as well as the graphic itself, is not
passed off as being your own work.
It is so easy now to copy pictures and graphics from the Internet
onto your own computer and insert them into your papers, but when
you do that without citing the source of the graphic, that too is steal-
140 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
ing—just as if you copied and pasted words or took someone else’s
idea and did not cite it.
According to most style guides, when you use graphics from a
copyrighted source, you must first ask for permission to use it. If you
intend to use the graphic for school purposes only, you do not need to
get permission, but you must still cite the graphic in your paper. If you
decide later to use the paper for any other purposes outside of class,
you need to obtain permission.
Fair Use and Public Domain Fair use is a doctrine and part of the copyright law that states that
there are particular instances when reproducing some else’s work,
within certain limitations, may be fair. These instances may include
“criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and
research” (U.S. Copyright Office, 2009, para. 2). It is important to
note, however, that there are no concrete guidelines for what con-
stitutes fair use; therefore, authors should use their best judgment.
It is advised that whenever information is borrowed for any reason,
an author should seek permission to use it (U.S. Copyright Office,
2009).
The public domain is information or works that have not been pub-
lished or that were published prior to certain dates set forth by the
U.S. Copyright Office, or information that is open to the public, such
as most government information. Information that falls in the public
domain should be cited, but you do not need permission to use it.
Common Knowledge There are specific times when content that is not originally yours
does not need to be cited; use of common knowledge constitutes a
time when, unless taken word for word from a source, a citation is not
needed. Certain characteristics must be met for content to be consid-
ered common knowledge:
141Basic ciTaTion gUidelines
●● The same information can be located in a minimum of five dif-
ferent research sources. ●● Your reader should already know this information. ●● The information is easily accessible in general information
sources. ●● Folklore, mythology, and well-known stories are considered
common knowledge. ●● Facts that are well known in your particular field of study—
and will be well known to your audience.
The key concept to remember about common knowledge is that you do
not have to cite it as long as it is written in your own words. If you take
a well-known fact word for word from a source, a citation is required
so that it is not considered plagiarism. Furthermore, if the interpre-
tation of the common knowledge is drawn from a source, the source
needs to be cited, as the interpretation is not common knowledge or
original to your writing. Another example of a fact needing a citation is
statistics because statistical information is not typically equally rep-
resented in general information sources; the source of the statistic,
either as a primary or secondary source, needs to be cited.
You might not know if something is common knowledge until you
find it explained the same way in several sources, so it’s best to cite it
like you normally would until you adequately prove to yourself that it
is common knowledge.
This chapter helps you understand the basics of why and when
you cite information. Each style guide has different rules and format-
ting, and the best way to learn citation is to know that a style guide
is not meant to be memorized; it is a guide, a cross-referencing guide
that you will use as a resource when you write your papers. The key is
to match your sources with the rules in the selected style guide. Addi-
tionally, ask your instructor for the preferred style of citation in each
class you take.
142 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
References Martinez D., Peterson T., Wells C., Hannigan C., & Stevenson, C.
(2008). Technical writing: A resource for technical writers at all
levels. New York, NY: Kaplan Publishing.
U.S. Copyright Office. (2009). Fair use. Retrieved from http://www.
copyright.gov
143
Outlining is a way of organizing ideas and research for essays and
other complex documents. Students who are eager to get to the writ-
ing part of the assignment often overlook this tool. Furthermore, you
might have recollections of creating outlines back in high school and
how it felt like torture when teachers insisted on specific formats and
outcomes. As a college student, you are typically allowed more free-
dom in the creation and use of your outline, so try to shed any pre-
existing notions and anxieties about outlines. Ultimately, creating an
outline saves you time in the overall writing process, which is a benefit
no student can ignore.
The BenefiTs of cReaTing an oUTline The primary benefit of taking time to create an outline is that it gives you
the chance to figure out the whole organization of the essay’s potential
content. Students often have many ideas swirling in their heads, and
an outline compels the student to logically note each idea in the appro-
priate order to best serve the topic and reader (see Chapter 14, Essay
Development, pp. 159–204, to learn more about essay organization
options). Jumping right into the essay-writing process and writing ideas
as they pop into your head might not give the essay a logical or smooth
flow. Listing these ideas early on in the writing process allows inherent
connections to surface and be represented in the essay.
Creating an outline puts the essay content into a format that you
can easily scan and interpret during the writing process. You can quickly
chapteR 13
outlining
caRRie hannigan
144 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
look at the completed outline and see where more content might be
needed, or where a point is overemphasized or off topic. Furthermore,
when research is required for the essay, the outline reveals where you
intend to insert evidence from sources; looking over the outline quickly
reveals which paragraphs will have research and which paragraphs still
need information from sources. The outline serves as a visual road map
of the content. Looking at it not only gives a sense of where you are
going, but also how long it might take to get to the end.
Although professors might have requirements for the assigned
essay, the work involved to achieve those requirements might not be
clear at the onset of the writing process. You might know that you have
five pages to write and need to include research, but you might not
know how much work is needed to actually write a complete essay.
An outline can help give students a sense of what it might take to
reach that goal. For example, the outline reveals that you’ll need six
paragraphs, beyond the introduction and conclusion paragraphs, to
adequately make your argument and provide all relevant research.
Actual writing time will vary based on writing style and the amount of
research needed, but the outline should reveal the complexities of the
writing and help you estimate a timeline for completion of the essay.
No matter your writing style, writer’s block is an issue most stu-
dents encounter at some point in the process. Without an outline,
when you write yourself into a corner, it might not be immediately
clear where the essay needs to go next. With an outline already writ-
ten, you can refer to the outline to get back on track. A detailed out-
line is ideal for curing writer’s block, but essentially the outline format
should appeal to your own writing style and needs.
how To foRMaT an oUTline Unless the outline’s format is specifically dictated by an assignment’s
requirements, your outline can take on a variety of forms, from formal
to an informal list. The objective of organizing your ideas and research
is typically more important than the actual format of the outline; most
145oUTlining
importantly, the outline should be easy for you to go back to and
review during the writing process.
Although not initially intuitive to write, a formal outline is a com-
prehensive means to organize main and subtopics for the essay. A for-
mal outline uses Roman numerals for the main-level topics (e.g., I, II,
III). The second-level topics use uppercase letters (e.g., A, B, C); the
third-level topics use Arabic numbers (e.g., 1, 2, 3); the fourth-level
topics use lowercase letters (e.g., a, b, c); and, if necessary, the fifth-
level topics use lowercase Roman numerals (e.g., i, ii, iii). See Table
13.1 for a list of the first 10 Roman numerals. To help make the outline
easier to follow, each level should be indented five spaces beyond the
previous level. The example at the end of this chapter (p. 153) uses
a formal outline format, although it does not reach the final level of
lowercase Roman numerals.
Table 13.1 RoMaN NUMeRaLs, 1–10
ARAbIC ROMAN
� 1 I
2 II
3 III
4 IV
5 V
6 VI
7 VII
8 VIII
9 IX
10 X
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You can achieve formal outline formatting by using a multilevel
list in Microsoft® Word. Several options are available, so choose
the format that follows the numbering system noted previously. In
Microsoft® Word 2007, you can use the button with leveled numbers
in the Paragraph section on the Home tab; in Microsoft® Word 2003,
you can access the outlining numbering system using the Bullets and
Numbering command, found on the Format menu.
Beyond the numbering system itself, there is another rule dictated
by the use of a formal outlining format: “Where there is an A, there
needs to be a B; likewise, where there is a one, there needs to be a
two.” This means that when dividing the information into sections,
try not to break the information down so far that there is only one
subtopic. For example, if under Roman numeral II there is an A, then
there should also be a B; if there is only an A, consider elaborating on
that subtopic to make sure it is covered with enough depth, or revise
Roman numeral II’s text to accurately reflect the content of a single
topic (i.e., no subtopic is needed). Unless required by the assignment,
try not to get too caught up in the accuracy of the numbering and level-
ing as long as the information is logical to you as the writer.
If a formal outline seems too overwhelming or doesn’t match your
writing style, you can instead rely on an informal outline, which serves
to simply list the potential content in the essay. In an informal outline,
you can use standard numbers for each paragraph, with a brief nota-
tion as to what will be included in the paragraph; you can then use
bullets for any subtopics in the paragraph. It is most important for an
outline, whether formal and informal, to clearly and accurately reflect
all the information needed to create an effective essay.
deciding oUTline conTenT As for what to actually write in each level of the outline, you should
first decide how much information you need to remember what you
intend to write in the essay. Typically, it is best to use complete sen-
147oUTlining
tences, or at least long phrases, for each level in the outline; using
one or two words per entry might not be enough information to help
you organize the essay overall or readily recall what you intended
to write in the paragraphs. Writers generally benefit from the use
of both short and long phrases in an outline; you can also include
exact quotes and paraphrases from your sources, though be sure
to note the source information so you can cite it accurately in the
essay.
The outline should speak to the content for each paragraph in the
essay by listing the paragraph’s main topic and subtopics or support-
ing information. More specifically, this process includes listing each
paragraph’s potential:
●● Focus (i.e., topic sentence) ●● Support from research (when needed) ●● Examples/illustrations ●● Explanations of ideas and key words or concepts ●● Analysis of research or example/illustration ●● Your opinion or personal insights (if appropriate for the
assignment) ●● Conclusions or transition/connection to the next topic
Based on the preceding list, each section in the outline will likely
consist of three to four subtopics, which correlates with the upper-
case-letter level of the outline format; further subtopics or levels
below the first subtopic level can be added to be sure the essay has
depth and breadth in each paragraph. Subtopics below the first sub-
topic level might include the following:
●● Specific quotes, summaries, and paraphrases from sources ●● Details about a relevant example ●● Path of logic for analysis and conclusions
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Unless you are creating an outline for an assignment that calls
for a specific format, you can also add notes to yourself beyond the
previously mentioned subtopics. For example, you can note research
questions to remind yourself to look for more sources to prove your
conclusion on a subtopic. Because an outline’s goal is to help guide
you through your writing process, the content of the outline is depen-
dent on your writing needs.
It is important to remember that strict formal outlines dictate that
the content of each level in the outline is parallel. To make the con-
tent of each level parallel, the words in the phrase/sentence of each
level should be grammatically alike; for example, each level should be
written in the same verb tense. Although a parallel structure makes
the outline easier to read overall, you can abandon this structure if it
interferes with the clarity of the information you plan to include in the
essay—especially if it is not a required part of an assignment.
Keep in mind that the outline is a gathering of potential ideas;
therefore, the content is flexible and can change as you develop your
essay. Ideally, the outline is your best estimate of the information to
be included because writing with an outline constantly in flux is like
trying to hit a moving target. With that said, don’t feel adamantly tied
to the content of the outline so that the essay seems forced or under-
developed; you’ll have the opportunity to verify the organization and
content of the essay by way of a postdraft outline after the first draft
is complete. The process for creating a postdraft outline is discussed
later in this chapter (p. 150).
The pRocess of cReaTing an oUTline The process of creating an initial outline really depends on your writing
style; some students need to follow each step in the process to produce
a useful outline, whereas students more comfortable with the overall
writing process can skip steps when creating an outline. If you are new
to the outline process, you might want to follow each step, and then
with experience you can determine which steps you can skip in the
149oUTlining
future. Before beginning the process, it is ideal to have at least a work-
ing thesis statement and some research on the topic. Typically, by this
point, you have already completed other brainstorming techniques in
an effort to create the thesis statement, research questions, and a list
of relevant sources (see Chapter 12, Basic Citation Guidelines, pp. 121–
142, and Chapter 14, Essay Development, pp. 159–204). The following
steps outline a suggested process for creating an outline:
1. Create an informal list of topics to be covered in the essay.
a. This list can be a list of words or short phrases which will be
refined during the creation of the full outline.
b. Try not to list subtopics at this point.
c. Most short essays have at least three to five main topics, plus
the introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
d. Here is a sample topic list for an essay on video games in
classrooms: NY school, making learning fun, visual learning,
counterargument against games, future success of children.
2. Take the topics from the informal list and use those as main
topics (i.e., Roman numeral level).
a. Rewrite the phrases from the informal list to be more com-
plete, so that the main topic is easily understood (even when
read a week or two later).
b. You might need to add more topics or combine like topics as
you develop the outline.
3. Analyze each main topic, determining what information needs to
be presented.
a. At this point, start developing the subtopics for each main topic.
b. Subtopics may include examples, logic/arguments, details/
descriptions, and definitions of key terms.
4. Sort your sources and research to see which topics/subtopics
they fall under.
a. As you decide what research to use, put the information into
the outline as subtopics.
150 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
b. Be sure to note the source of the information in your outline
so you can easily cite the information in the essay.
5. Review the outline, looking for logical ordering of the topics.
a. Organization options include chronological, building on
the previous point, least important to most important, or
argument/counterargument.
b. Consider adding transitional words or phrases as subtopics in
each section to realize the overall flow of the essay.
6. Rely on the outline while writing the essay.
a. If new ideas develop during the writing process, try keep-
ing track of those ideas in a separate document, and then
add them after the initial draft is complete, if they are still
relevant.
b. If you encounter writer’s block, refer to the outline to help
initiate the writing process with your original ideas.
c. Using an outline allows you to write paragraphs out of
sequence, such as when research or ideas become available,
and then piece the paragraphs together in the order dictated
by the outline.
Although you can continue to use and revise the original outline
throughout the writing process, after writing the essay, you can go
back and write a second outline to map the content actually seen in
the draft.
Using The posTdRafT oUTline Once the first draft of an essay is complete, many conscientious writ-
ers use an informal postdraft outline to reveal possible problems with
the logical structure and content of the essay. The postdraft outline
briefly lists the focus of each paragraph in the draft. As you will see
in this section, to construct this type of outline, you will carefully read
each paragraph in your essay and briefly describe the focus or main
point of each paragraph using just one sentence. Similar to the con-
151oUTlining
tent of the formal or informal outline, your description of the para-
graph should capture the overall focus or main point. It is crucial to
write the sentence based on the actual content of the paragraph, as
opposed to what you think the paragraph should be covering.
Here’s how to get started. Beginning with your introduction, if it
is one paragraph long, it will be represented by the number 1 on the
sheet of paper. Because the introduction establishes the thesis, its
“point” will be the thesis, so you write the thesis after the number 1.
Isolating the paragraph allows you to consider the placement of the
thesis in that paragraph as well as the clarity of the thesis itself.
Continuing on to the body paragraphs of the essay, if your paper
does not make use of topic sentences, you need to read the paragraph
as carefully and as objectively as possible to determine its point. Try
to put yourself in your audience’s shoes and do not read into a para-
graph what is not there—that is, let the actual content suggest a point.
Try to write the point in one complete, declarative sentence. If, how-
ever, after reading the paragraph and thinking about the needs of your
audience, you determine the point of the paragraph is not clear, so
be it—you have learned something valuable that you can address in
revision.
After listing each paragraph’s focus, go back and analyze this list
to make sure the essay is well organized and covers all the necessary
information to support your thesis. Although you can simply compare
the postdraft outline with the original outline, it is important to further
analyze the postdraft outline for other issues beyond missing content.
During analysis, consider the following questions, issues, and pos-
sible solutions:
●● Does the paragraph cover several topics, rather than just one
main topic?
This is often a difficult question to answer, especially because
every paragraph covers a main topic by way of presenting
several subtopics. Just be sure that the topic covered in the
152 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
paragraph doesn’t go off on separate tangents; tangents
should be removed and developed into separate paragraphs
if they are relevant and support the thesis statement. ●● Does the information appear in a logical order?
Although you may be familiar with the topic as a whole,
remember that the reader might be new to the topic; there-
fore, it is important to reveal information in a comprehensible
way that gives the reader necessary insights to understand
the essay’s argument, reflection, or description. Also, con-
sider the organization method (e.g., chronological) that you
set out to use in the essay. ●● Does each paragraph flow from one idea to the next?
You might not have specifically noted transitions in your post-
draft outline, but upon review of the essay, you might find
that there are no clear connections between ideas. You can
use the postdraft outline to see where these connections can
be drawn by way of inserting transitions at the end or begin-
ning of paragraphs. ●● Are there gaps in information, where the paragraph or argu-
ment seems incomplete?
Small or underdeveloped paragraphs will need further
research and/or explanation; the postdraft outline often
reveals this need by way of a short, descriptive sentence
about the paragraph. ●● Is the focus of the paragraph directly related to the thesis
statement?
While writing and researching, you will likely develop interest-
ing information, but not all of that information will directly
tie to your thesis statement. If the postdraft outline reveals
extraneous paragraphs, remove the paragraphs or alter the
thesis statement if the information is important enough to
keep in the essay.
153oUTlining
The goal of the postdraft outline is to help you step back from your
writing and evaluate it objectively by seeing it in its entirety. Just as a
predraft outline serves as a map, telling you where to turn next, the
postdraft outline is like seeing the entire journey marked on a map.
From here, you can evaluate which turn worked and which took you
away from your goal. Again, try not to get caught up in the formatting
of this type of outline; create it to meet your needs as a writer, but be
sure to be accurate when writing the focus of each paragraph.
ex aMples This section contains three outline examples followed by an expla-
nation of the strengths and/or weaknesses of each. The examples
should ser ve as guidelines rather than templates because your
topic and content will likely dictate different formats and outcomes.
Every example is based on creating a persuasive three-page essay
arguing for the inclusion of video games in public, grade school
classrooms.
Example 1: Formal Outline, Detailed 1. Introduce the concept of using video games in grade school
classrooms.
A. [Quote from Times article] “67% of children from the ages
of four to ten spend 3.5 hours playing video games” (Smith,
2009, p.3). [Direct quote from source.]
B. Children typically get excited about learning when the educa-
tion is in the form of a game.
C. Being comfortable with technology is important to children’s
future success.
D. THESIS STATEMENT: Public schools should adopt the use of
video games in every grade school classroom to pique chil-
dren’s interest, help them to be comfortable with technology,
and teach them problem-solving techniques.
154 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
II. Provide an example of a school with the entire curriculum based
on video games.
A. In New York City, there is a school where every class is based
on students using video games (White, 2009). [Summary from
source]
B. Students enroll in sixth grade and stay in the school through
twelfth-grade graduation.
1. Currently, class sizes are small, but will increase over time.
2. Students must pass an entrance exam.
C. [Paraphrase from Educational Technology] In standardized
tests given to all New York public school children, students
from this school test at the same level or better (White, 2009).
III. Video games will engage students’ interests in learning.
A. Children respond well to the visual stimuli and challenges
video games provide.
B. Example: Students who play a math-oriented video game
stay focused on the task of winning the game, while learning
multiplication tables.
C. Students will learn more than basic memorization:
1. Problem solving, as they navigate through the game’s
challenges
2. Teamwork, as they work together playing the same game
3. Application, students can use what they learned right
away
a. Example: Students playing a geography game will
learn state capitals, and then use that information to
win the game.
b. Application of information reinforces it in their long-
term memory.
IV. The future will be based on computers and related technology.
A. Exposure to computers now will increase potential for success
in technology fields.
155oUTlining
B. Students will be comfortable with technology, much like
learning a second language.
C. Early exposure to technology will inspire creativity with the
use and development of this technology in their futures.
V. This type of education is not for all children (counterargument).
A. Student needs should be assessed before developing video
game-based classes.
B. If a student is not responding well to video game learning, an
alternative should be provided.
C. Like learning disabilities, students who do not respond to
video game learning should be tutored to improve their
responses to this technology.
VI. Video games in the classroom might seem futuristic, but they are
a practical reality.
A. Students need to be prepared for the technology they’ll face
in their future.
B. Video games are already accepted by children, so they’ll
appreciate the use of these games in classrooms.
C. Careful consideration needs to be put into the development of
these classes to make them successful.
In Example 1, the writer used “reminder notes,” as suggested pre-
viously in this chapter. For example, under I. A, the writer noted that
it is a direct quote from an article. This will help the writer remember
to use quotation marks if he or she decides to use that exact text in
the essay. It will also help the writer remember where the information
came from so that an accurate citation can be inserted. These types
of notes are not typically included in outlines submitted for a grade,
but they are useful options for writers who rely on research to prove
an argument. Overall, the details provided by the use of full sentences
and several subtopics per section will help the writer remember the
tone, argument, and focus of the essay during the writing process.
156 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Example 2: Formal Outline, Not Detailed
I. Introduction
A. 67% of children play video games
B. Children like video games
C. Technology will be used in their future
D. Thesis statement
II. Sample New York school
A. Every class is based on using video games
B. Sixth grade through twelfth grade
C. Good standardized test scores
III. Video games engage students
A. Children respond to visual stimuli and challenges
B. Sample video game
C. More than basic memorization
IV. Technology/computer-based future
A. Increase potential for success
B. Increase comfort with technology
C. Inspire creativity with technology
V. Not for all children
A. Assess students before game use
B. Provide alternatives
C. Provide tutoring
VI. Conclusion
A. Prepare students for future
B. Students appreciate use of video games
C. Plan classes carefully
In Example 2, the writer is likely to know what needs to be written
in each paragraph as long as the essay writing begins and ends within
a short time frame. Otherwise, the writer might forget what he or she
meant to write in a particular section because the notes are rather
vague. For example, under I. D, the thesis statement should be written
157oUTlining
into the essay at this point; without the specific thesis statement in
the outline, the writer might not remember all the aspects that need
to be discussed and argued. In addition, this less detailed outline
doesn’t note what information is from a source. This could potentially
lead to accidental plagiarism if the writer doesn’t remember to accu-
rately cite the information, even if the information is paraphrased. A
nondetailed outline might be a good place to start but adding precise
details will help strengthen the essay. The postdraft outline can then
be used to double-check the essay’s content.
Example 3: Postdraft Outline
1. Video games should be used in classrooms because children
already like playing video games, and these games can be posi-
tive learning experiences.
2. A school in New York has proven to be successful in creating a
learning environment based entirely on video game usage.
3. Video games provide learning beyond memorization, while keep-
ing students interested in learning.
4. Because technology is only becoming more prevalent, the stu-
dents will be comfortable with technology at an early age and
potentially excel in the future.
5. Although this technology might not be right for every student,
every effort should be made to allow students to be successful in
the classroom.
6. Well-planned usage of video games in the classroom is a realistic
and engaging means of educating students.
Example 3 shows a well-organized essay, where the content fol-
lows the original plan in the predraft outline. Each paragraph is sum-
marized in one sentence and clearly shows what is covered in that
paragraph. One potential change the writer might want to consider
is to break the third paragraph into two paragraphs, one focusing on
158 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
children’s interests in visual stimuli and video game challenges and a
second paragraph focusing on the content of the video game beyond
memorization. Although the original outline did not break this topic
into two sections, after writing the essay, it seems logical to give each
topic its own paragraph and supporting research. In addition, the
writer might consider moving the counterargument, as seen in number
five, before the fourth paragraph, so that the essay does not end with
the opposing argument.
159
After gathering your research and designing an outline, you can begin
the writing process that yields what will be your draft and, ultimately,
final version of the essay or writing assignment. This section breaks the
essay down into manageable pieces, to be considered individually, and
then combined for a cohesive reflection of your ideas and research.
whaT is a Thesis sTaTeMenT? Every composition needs to make a clear point about its topic. Oth-
erwise, what purpose would the writing serve? One way to ensure
that readers will follow along in the development of an essay is by
including a written thesis statement. The word thesis comes from a
Greek word that means “proposition” or “position.” In an essay, the
thesis establishes your position, the main idea of the paper, what you
claim to be true or important about the topic. A thesis helps readers
understand the direction the essay is heading and it connects body
paragraphs to a controlling idea so that the essay comes together as a
unified and cohesive whole.
Most thesis statements are expressed in a single declarative
sentence, but depending on a number of factors such as the scope
and complexity of the topic or the writer’s approach in discussing it,
the thesis may require more than one sentence. For research papers,
the thesis statement is not your research question, but typically the
response to your main research question. In most academic writ-
ing, the thesis appears near or at the end of the introduction and
chapteR 14
essaY deVelopMent
KuRtis cleMents
160 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
announces to readers exactly what the body paragraphs that follow
will discuss.
There are two basic approaches to composing a thesis—forecast-
ing the main points by embedding them in the thesis (an approach
commonly referred to as the three-point thesis) or not including
the main points, but just the overall main topic, in the thesis. Your
approach will depend on the topic you are addressing as well as any
particular requirements of the assignment.
A three-point thesis states the main idea of the essay and includes
three key points as support. Look at the following thesis: Banning cig-
arette smoking in public places is an effective intervention to improve
the public’s health by helping to reduce the dangers of secondhand
smoke on nonsmokers, encouraging current smokers to quit, and
reducing health-care costs. In this example, the main idea—the posi-
tion the writer takes relative to the topic—is Banning cigarette smok-
ing in public places is an effective intervention to improve the public’s
health. This part of the thesis states what the writer claims to be true
about the topic. How will the writer support this view? In this case, the
thesis includes three telegraphed key points—by helping to reduce the
dangers of secondhand smoke on nonsmokers, encouraging current
smokers to quit, and reducing health-care costs.
The three-point thesis is the blueprint of the essay in that it not
only establishes the main idea, but it also fleshes out the key points
so that readers can anticipate a basic structure of the essay. Read-
ers would expect each forecasted point to be discussed in the order
presented—that is, the first section will discuss the first key point, the
next section the second, and so on.
Another approach to structuring a thesis is to state the main idea
minus the key points. Using the preceding example, the thesis would
read: Banning cigarette smoking in public places is an effective inter-
vention to improve the public’s health. With this approach, the key
points are not included in the thesis, yet the focus and direction are
clear. Readers might not know the exact key points, but they under-
161essay de velopMenT
stand the writer’s position on the topic and can anticipate the likely
discussion that will follow. In this case, because the main idea states
the view that banning smoking in public is an effective intervention to
improve public health, it is logical to expect key points that address
how this is so.
Whether you choose to structure your thesis statement with three
specific points or just the main idea, particular characteristics are
needed to make the thesis statement effective, for both keeping your
writing on track and giving the reader an indication of the direction of
the essay:
●● Establishes one major idea: A thesis statement should focus
on one main idea. If a thesis introduces more than one idea,
the paper will not have a tight focus. Many papers you will
write will be relatively short and will not have room to discuss
more than one major idea. Pay particular attention to your
thesis statement if it includes the word and as this connect-
ing word often joins new ideas. Note how the following thesis
has more than one main idea: Health-care reform must be
addressed because so many Americans are uninsured or with-
out adequate coverage, and politicians must work together to
ensure new legislation is passed. In this example, the word
and establishes an additional main idea and so the thesis
lacks a clearly defined focus. To improve upon the thesis, you
would need to streamline the thesis and focus on one main
idea. For example, a better thesis might be Politicians must
work together to reform health care because too many Ameri-
cans are without sufficient coverage. ●● Reasonable in scope: The thesis should limit the extent of the
discussion to something manageable given the assignment—
neither too broad nor too narrow. The thesis should estab-
lish a focus that is realistic and suitable for a substantive
discussion of the main idea. Simply taking a stand on capital
162 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
punishment, for example, is not realistic for a short research
paper let alone an entire book—the topic is too broad. How-
ever, limiting the focus by narrowing the scope might work.
You could argue that capital punishment does not reduce the
crime rate or that lethal injection is the most humane form of
capital punishment. In this way, the focus is something that
realistically could be addressed in the paper. ●● Clearly states the writer’s position: The thesis should state
precisely and specifically what the paper will discuss. After
reading the thesis, readers should know exactly what to
expect. Avoid language that is too general, abstract, or other-
wise confusing. If your thesis does not clearly establish your
main idea, readers might have a difficult time understanding
the significance of the essay and following the development of
the body paragraphs that follow. Here is an example of a thesis
statement that is vague: Television violence is an issue that
many face. Based on this thesis, do you understand what the
writer is going to explore in the paper? Sure, television vio-
lence, but beyond that general subject, do you have any clear
sense of what the writer will be arguing for or against? This the-
sis lacks the specificity it needs to orient readers appropriately
so that they know what to expect in the discussion. ●● Relies on supporting evidence: The thesis expresses an idea
that moves beyond a statement of fact and requires support-
ing content to “prove” the main idea. For example, a thesis
that proclaims Barack Obama is the first African-American to
be elected president of the United States would not be very
good as it states a widely known fact. A better thesis might
proclaim this: Barack Obama’s election as president of the
United States marked a seminal moment in American politics.
The revised thesis moves beyond simply stating a fact and,
instead, presents a main idea that would require evidence to
support.
163essay de velopMenT
dRafTing a woRking Thesis Constructing a unique thesis statement takes time; in fact, like writ-
ing itself, developing a thesis is a process, so be patient and be will-
ing to revise as necessary. A good thesis comes about the more you
work with your topic, as you get deeper and deeper into your research
and your ideas get clearer and clearer. A thesis statement evolves
over time. Begin with a working thesis—your tentative ideas about the
topic—and be willing to modify the statement depending on what you
discover about your topic and how your thinking changes as a result.
Indeed, many writers find themselves in jams because they are unwill-
ing to deviate from their original thesis and are bent on trying to sup-
port ideas that are unrealistic, perhaps even impossible.
Once you have found a suitable topic to pursue (for more infor-
mation on approaching a topic, see Chapter 6, The Writing Process,
pp. 35–47), you are ready to start thinking about the direction your
paper will take. To this end, you need to compose a working thesis
that establishes your initial ideas about the topic as well as your pur-
pose for writing. Will you be informing? Persuading? Either way, that
purpose needs to be apparent in the wording of the thesis. For many,
composing a working thesis can be a challenge, but you can make the
process more manageable by considering the following practical sug-
gestions for drafting a working thesis statement. Ultimately, the thesis
of your paper will grow out of your own thinking and the research con-
ducted. The suggestions are not meant to be followed in any particular
order, although a step-by-step approach might be a logical approach.
Exploring Your Thoughts What do you already know about the topic? Use freewriting (or other
prewriting methods, such as brainstorming, which is discussed in
more detail in Chapter 6, The Writing Process, pp. 35–47) to capture
what you already know and think about the topic. Roll up your sleeves
and spend 10, 15, or more minutes just writing. Write about what inter-
ests you about the topic and what you might like to know. Write about
164 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
what you think you want to discuss in the paper. Explore freely what is
bouncing around inside your head and do not be afraid to follow your
thinking wherever it takes you. Writing is an act of discovery, and you
might stumble upon an interesting angle to pursue if you give your-
self permission to explore. After you’ve written for a period of time,
look over your writing and see if any dominant idea emerges or if some
writing suggests a direction worth thinking about more. In a perfect
world, the freewriting will produce enough of your ideas that you can
almost see the beginning of a thesis.
Conducting Some Preliminary Research Go to the library (online or on-ground) and read a number of articles
about your topic. The more you know, the better off you will be, so
this is time well spent. At this point, you are just reading to gain a
deeper understanding of the topic, to generate potential ideas for
further research, and to help you think more about what you might
want to say about this topic or explore. Take notes as necessary, pay-
ing particular attention to content that speaks to aspects of the topic
that seem interesting to you or that are repeated in other articles. The
idea of this kind of research is to read enough that you are in a better
position to commit your ideas to paper. Be certain to record informa-
tion about each source accurately so that you can locate the source
again if need be. Of course, if an article looks particularly promising,
you might want to make a copy of it and/or save it to your hard drive
for later use.
sTRaTegies foR sUccess turn to Online Libraries First It’s so easy to do research today because of the Internet. It might seem like the days of visiting the library are over, but, thankfully, because of online technology, you have a choice to walk through the doors of your local library or log on to an online (or virtual) library from wherever you happen to be. Even though popular search engines are our first choice
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for day-to-day searches, logging on to and using an online library is just as easy, and you will get more scholastic and refined results. In addition, using an online library is also less time consuming than doing a general Internet search because you do not have to wade through millions of nonrel- evant or noncredible Web sites.
Posing Research Questions A research question establishes an aspect of the topic that you want
to investigate. What do you want to know about your topic? What
interests you about the topic that you want to explore further? A good
approach is to pose as many different research questions as possible
to use as the basis for your research and for formulating a working
thesis. The “answer” to the research question becomes the working
thesis, so give some thought to the questions you ask and avoid those
that elicit yes/no-type answers.
For example, if the topic is banning smoking in public, you could
pose the following research questions:
●● How effective are laws banning smoking in public? ●● What impact do smoking bans have on businesses? ●● What effects do smoking bans have on the public? ●● Are public smoking bans constitutional?
At this point, you will want to select the research question that
looks the most promising and then, if possible, try to answer it gen-
erally before conducting research to answer it more specifically.
The research question helps you define a focus and the answer will
become the working thesis.
The thesis statement serves as the crux of the essay, and the
paragraphs that follow the thesis only serve to support and elaborate
on your main idea in the essay. When developing each piece of the
essay, be sure to keep the thesis statement in mind.
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oUTlining As described in a previous chapter, before you begin to draft, consider
devising some kind of plan that will organize your thoughts so that
your writing has direction from the start. If you have a good working
thesis, you should be in good shape to create an informal outline so
that you have a plan for developing the thesis and organizing your
points. For example, one good approach is to write the thesis and then
list the supporting points in an order that seems appropriate.
As compared with an informal list, formal outlines take consider-
ably more time to develop and for most people, they are more diffi-
cult to write before a complete draft is produced because supporting
points and details usually come out of research and discovery during
the composing process. However, every person’s writing process is
different and formal outlines are, regardless of how they come about,
useful. A formal outline allows you to see the structure of your paper
in detail—the key points, the supporting points, the evidence. Formal
outlines allow you to see how your essay is put together, how your
ideas are organized, and how the points are developed. The formal
outline offers a structural representation of your paper, which allows
you to see where your ideas are fully developed and where you might
need to add new information. For more information about formal and
informal outlining, along with examples of each style, please see
Chapter 13, Outlining, pp. 143–158.
dRafTing an essay After you create some kind of an outline, you are ready to draft. Do not
worry about writing the introduction first unless you already have a
good idea for a beginning. Instead, use your working thesis and out-
line as the starting point for composing body paragraphs. Concentrate
on developing points and staying as organized as possible. If new
ideas surface while you compose, develop them and/or add them to
the outline. Although you will need to consult your notes and work in
evidence from your research, you should try to compose as quickly
167essay de velopMenT
as possible. Do not let anything slow down your forward progress. If
the development of a particular point is not going anywhere, move to
another point. Just because an essay reads in a linear fashion does
not mean you have to write it that way. Sure, you might need to write
transitions for the sake of the flow, but you can do that kind of writ-
ing later. Initially, your focus should be on getting words down on the
page so that you have a complete draft as soon as possible. Once the
draft is complete, you can compose the introductory and concluding
paragraphs.
After you complete the initial full draft, read it over carefully. You
will undoubtedly notice where your evidence is thin. Conduct more
research to strengthen your points. You might notice that your draft
might not have developed exactly as your outline suggested, but that
is okay.
An essay has various components, and you need to develop each
component during the drafting process. The next sections break the
essay down to its basic sentence/paragraph structure to help you see
how you can create an effective essay overall.
Topic senTences Just as the thesis establishes the main idea of an essay, a topic sen-
tence establishes the main idea of a paragraph. A topic sentence is
usually the first sentence of the paragraph and is a direct and limited
statement that announces exactly what the paragraph will discuss.
The sentences that follow expand upon and support the idea put forth
in the topic sentence. In a very real way, topic sentences are like mini-
thesis statements for paragraphs. A thesis expresses an idea that uni-
fies an essay just as topic sentences express an idea that unifies the
content of a paragraph. Using a topic sentence helps readers under-
stand the point of a paragraph and helps writers stay focused too.
Although not every paragraph needs an explicit topic sentence, every
paragraph needs a clear focus, and for many writers using a topic sen-
tence is the best approach.
168 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
An effective topic sentence expresses a claim about its subject
that is limited enough to be realistically developed in a single para-
graph. Here is a paragraph that illustrates how the topic sentence
establishes the focus and scope of a paragraph:
Paris is a fabulous European city. Huge and sprawling, the
city offers grand boulevards, quaint parks, world-class muse-
ums, and many fine restaurants. Locals and visitors alike
enjoy people watching from outdoor cafés. Many will sit for
hours with a good book and a cup of café au lait enjoying the
pleasing ambiance of the city. Paris is divided in half by the
Seine River; these two sides are better known as the Right
Bank and the Left Bank. The Latin Quarter, which is located
on the Left Bank, is a popular section of Paris. Over the years,
writers and artists have found inspiration in the Latin Quarter.
In the 1920s, writers such as James Joyce and Ernest Heming-
way frequented the cafés in the Latin Quarter. Visitors to Paris
can view many other historical sites that only enhance the
attractiveness of the city. The Notre-Dame Cathedral, located
near the Seine, is 700 years old and full of history. Another
main attraction is the Louvre, Europe’s oldest, biggest, and
greatest museum. Leonardo da Vinci’s The Mona Lisa resides
behind bulletproof glass in the Louvre. However, perhaps the
most famous sight in all of Paris is the Eiffel Tower. Rising
1,000 feet in the air, the Eiffel Tower is a familiar structure in
the Paris skyline.
This well-developed paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence—
Paris is a fabulous European city. The topic sentence makes a claim
about the city and that idea is developed in the paragraph. The topic
sentence lets readers know exactly what to expect and limits the
scope of what is developed.
169essay de velopMenT
paRagRaph developMenT Stemming from a topic sentence, an effective paragraph will have
unity, coherence, and development. Unity means that all of the con-
tent in the paragraph belongs, so that each sentence provides infor-
mation that relates to the focus or claim of the paragraph; otherwise,
the paragraph lacks unity. Once the topic sentence is established,
the content that follows develops that one idea. When drafting, make
sure that you stay focused so that the development does not drift from
the established focus. In addition to developing the idea established
in the topic sentence, the paragraph should also contain language
that connects the paragraph to the main idea expressed in the the-
sis. In this way, paragraphs are not isolated units, but, rather, they
are essential parts of an essay necessary to develop the main idea
expressed in the thesis statement.
In the following paragraph, the opening sentence of the para-
graph establishes a focus and each sentence that follows expands
upon the idea; not one of the sentences strays from the focus and,
thus, the content is unified.
The streetcars that run on St. Charles and Carrollton avenues
in New Orleans are the oldest operating street railway system
in the world. The streetcar line started in 1835 to connect the
city of New Orleans with the town of Carrollton. The line was
first called the New Orleans and Carrollton Railroad, and the
company ran a fleet of 35 olive-green cars. In 1874, Carroll-
ton became part of New Orleans and the independently owned
and operated lines were combined. At one time, the street-
cars were powered by mules, but steam later proved to be a
more reliable source of power. With the advent of electricity,
however, the line had an even more reliable and quieter form
of energy. The streetcar covers a 13-mile route, and a round-
trip ride, with stops, takes about an hour and a half. The St.
Charles Avenue Streetcar Line is the only commuter train in
170 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
New Orleans. Another famous streetcar line once ran down
Desire Street, inspiring the title of Tennessee Williams’s play,
A Streetcar Named Desire. Many tourists feel a ride on the
streetcar is an essential part of a visit to New Orleans; how-
ever, residents of the city also feel the streetcars are a good
way to travel to and from work or school. Because of the enor-
mous popularity of the streetcar, the city has brought a new
line to Canal Street, taking riders all the way to City Park. Rid-
ing the streetcar is a one-of-a-kind experience that makes New
Orleans so unique.
Development speaks to the idea of elaborating on the claim of the
topic sentence. Although a paragraph has no set length, the claim
made in the topic sentence needs to be fully developed. You do this
by sustaining the writing and using supporting information, such as
examples and evidence from research to give your ideas meaning.
What you need to be concerned with is developing your ideas thor-
oughly and specifically so that your audience fully understands what
you are trying to communicate—that is, readers get the point. When
the point is sufficiently developed, end the paragraph. In this way,
some paragraphs might require less development and other para-
graphs more depending on the point and the purpose of the writing (to
persuade, for example, might require more development than a paper
that informs).
woRds fRoM wRiTeRs Explaining Our thoughts “I probably write just as much as I complete computations. Writing is an integral part of many professions. I mostly have to formulate e-mails and memos that portray the correct and most sensitive tone possible and still manage to get the point across. This is a skill that can be taught, and anyone can be groomed to write in this manner.
Writing can be a better form of communicating [than speaking] in some instances. Instead of verbal- izing all your decisions and opinions, you might want to
171essay de velopMenT
choose to write it down first and let a coworker review your thoughts. Sometimes what we think is clearly explained and written well is quite the contrary.”
—Enryka Payton, Mathematician
Consider this sample scenario: Imagine it is summer, late July, in
New Orleans. If I were to state that it is snowing outside, would you
believe me? Probably not, right? After all, it is July in New Orleans and
the likelihood of snow is nil. Even beyond this fact, a statement with
no proof and no development is just an assertion. However, what if
after I said it is snowing out (remember, it is July in New Orleans) and
I showed you a handful of snow, would you believe me then? You can
see the snow, touch it, and smell it. Now, you might think that I am up
to something, but you would definitely be more convinced, right? If I
developed my claim (topic sentence) even more and said, “Yup, it’s
snowing outside. I can see my next-door neighbor, Mr. Hibble, a slight
man in his 70s, out in his driveway right now, shoveling. He’s wear-
ing a purple-and-gold hat and black gloves. And here comes the snow
plow—will you listen to that clatter!” If I included all of that develop-
ment, would you believe me?
Although the example is an exaggeration, the point should be
clear: You need to take your time and develop your points fully so that
they make sense to someone else, an audience. You need to sustain
the writing and expand upon the idea expressed in the topic sentence;
depending on your purpose, you need to use examples, details, facts,
quotes, statistics, and/or testimony to give meaning to your ideas.
Coherence refers to content that is organized in a way that is easy
to understand. One sentence logically leads to the next sentence, and
the writer has provided transitions and guide words (words that help
the reader progress through the writing) to make the movement fluid
for the reader as the parts come together. Coherence is what gives a
paragraph its sense of oneness; it is what unifies the related parts
around a single idea and helps readers understand the relationship
172 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
of sentences. As a writer, you need to help your readers by guiding
them through the development of the paragraph. Transitional expres-
sions function like glue: They hold a piece of writing together and give
it order. Without such expressions, a paragraph would be a jumbled,
incoherent mess.
In the following example, note how the paragraph has unity yet
lacks coherence.
One of the major record labels of the prewar period was Para-
mount, a furniture manufacturing company from Wisconsin
with a notorious reputation for producing low-budget record-
ings. The recording equipment used was inferior by today’s
standards and most recordings were crude. Many record com-
panies did not take good care of the master recordings, which
resulted in even poorer pressings of the music. Most record
companies at the time went into business to make a quick
profit and had little regard for the integrity of the music or of
the artists. Many of the original master recordings have been
destroyed or lost and little information is known of the artists
on the masters that did survive. Few blues musicians before
World War II are well known today. Paramount had the finan-
cial resources to sign blues artists, and most performers of the
prewar era recorded for the label. The company produced such
poor recordings that few survived. Many worthy prewar blues
musicians are obscure.
The sentences all have something to do with prewar blues, but
understanding the logical relationship of one sentence to the next is
impossible as the sentences are laid one after the other with no regard
to the coherence of the information. To improve the coherence of the
paragraph, a topic sentence should be used at the start of the para-
graph and then the sentences need to be organized in a fluid and logical
manner, using guide words and transitional expressions as necessary.
173essay de velopMenT
Here is the paragraph revised for coherence:
Few blues musicians before World War II are well known today.
The recording equipment used was inferior by today’s stan-
dards and most recordings were crude. In addition, many
record companies did not take good care of the master record-
ings, which resulted in even poorer pressings of the music.
Unfortunately, most record companies at the time went into
business to make a quick profit and had little regard for the
integrity of the music or of the artists. In fact, many of the orig-
inal master recordings have been destroyed or lost and little
information is known of the artists on the masters that did
survive. One of the major record labels of the prewar period
was Paramount, a furniture manufacturing company from Wis-
consin with a notorious reputation for producing low-budget
recordings. Because Paramount had the financial resources to
sign blues artists, most performers of the prewar era recorded
for the label. However, the company produced such poor
recordings that few survived and as a result, many worthy pre-
war blues musicians are obscure.
As seen in these examples, it is a writer’s responsibility to make
sure the essay is clear and logical for the intended audience. Keep in
mind that just because the topic is clear to you, it’s likely to be new to
the reader. Unity, development, and coherence are the characteristics
the reader looks for to comprehend the topic.
woRds fRoM wRiTeRs Smoothing the Path “Clear communication is essential to being successful in the business world. If you cannot clearly articulate your thoughts, you might encounter unnecessary challenges.”
—Kevin DeKorte, Computer Scientist
174 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
MainTaining coheRence You can initiate comprehension in the reader by the wording of sen-
tences and creating the connections between your ideas, research/
examples, and the thesis statement.
Transitional Expressions Maintaining the coherence of the writing is essential for the clarity of a
paragraph. In the previous example, you probably noticed a number of
words and phrases that helped to show the relationship of one piece
of information to the next. Phrases like in addition, unfortunately, in
fact, because, and however guide the movement of the writing so that
it is fluid and easy to follow. Transitions, also known as signposts, are
important because they hold the writing together.
As a writer, one of your most important goals is to convey your
message as clearly and effectively as possible. One powerful tool
that you have to accomplish this is the use of transitions. Transitions
enable you to provide connections between sentences and paragraphs
by showing readers how your ideas fit together. Although they do not
make a poorly organized paper any easier to read, transitions do make
it easier for the reader to follow how you have chosen to organize your
thoughts.
In the example that follows, the writer uses some carefully cho-
sen transitions (see Table 14.1) to give the ideas coherence. The risk
of using such transitions is that using too many will make the writing
sound mechanical, so in your own writing use such words selectively.
The writer of the following paragraph does a good job using an appro-
priate number of transitions to keep the ideas together and the prose
fluid.
Most people have never heard of Richmond, Maine. However,
this small town has quite a remarkable history. Because of
Richmond’s proximity to the Atlantic Ocean, the town has a
rich nautical history and for years has attracted people whose
175essay de velopMenT
livelihoods depended on the sea. In fact, at one time, several
prominent sea captains resided in Richmond, and their homes,
located in what locals referred to as the Village, overlooked the
Kennebec River, a natural passageway to the Atlantic Ocean.
In addition, in the latter nineteenth century, the Richmond Ice
Company floated huge blocks of ice down the Kennebec River
to Merry Meeting Bay, an inlet that led to the ocean, where the
ice was picked up and delivered to merchants and businesses.
However, what makes Richmond’s history so interesting is that
beginning in the early 1900s a group of Russians immigrated
to Richmond to help in the town’s thriving boat-building busi-
ness. Over the years, this Russian community grew and pros-
pered until it became an important part of the community. By
the 1950s, about half of the town’s residents were of Russian
descent and more Russians immigrated to Richmond. One of
the more notable Russians was a mild-mannered man by the
name of Ivan Tolstoy, who was choirmaster at one of the twelve
Russian orthodox churches. Ivan Tolstoy was the grandson of
the famous Russian writer Count Leo Tolstoy, and the house
on South Pleasant Street where Ivan Tolstoy lived was referred
to as the Tolstoy House. Another famous Russian author who
had a connection to Richmond was Alexander Solzhenitsyn. In
the early 1970s, Solzhenitsyn spent a period of time with Ivan
Tolstoy at his home. Unfortunately, the Russian population
began to dwindle by the mid-1970s. The decline of the boat-
building profession forced many Russians to find work in other
towns and cities and, consequently, they left Richmond. After
these people left, Russian businesses that had once flourished
began to suffer and, ultimately, had to close down. Sadly, only
a handful of Russians still live in Richmond, Maine.
Table 14.1 provides some examples of transitions that you can
use in a paragraph to connect related ideas or to connect paragraphs
176 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
to make sure the reader sees the connection between each paragraph
and sees how those paragraphs support the thesis statement. When
using these expressions, each sentence does not need a transition;
rather, only use them when a logical movement is needed between
related ideas. To help understand the role transitions can play, Table
14.1 is broken into categories of what goal the transitions will accom-
plish when used.
Table 14.1 TRaNsITIoNaL eXpRessIoNs
tO SHOW LOCAtION � above across against along alongside amid among
around away from back of behind below beneath beside
between beyond by down in front of inside into
off onto on top of outside over near to the right under
tO SHOW tIME � about after afterward as soon as at before during
earlier finally first immediately in the meantime
later
meanwhile next next week now second soon then
third till today until when while yesterday
tO COMPARE t WO tHINGS � as also in the same way
like likewise
similarly
[continued]
177essay de velopMenT
Table 14.1 TRaNsITIoNaL eXpRessIoNs [continued]
tO CONtRASt tHINGS (SHOW DIFFERENCES) � although as opposed to but conversely counter to
even so even though however in the meantime
nevertheless on the contrary on the other hand
otherwise
rather than still though unlike whereas yet
tO EMPHASIzE A POINt � again but finally for this reason
furthermore in fact indeed moreover
nevertheless to emphasize to repeat truly
usually with this in mind
yet
tO CONCLUDE OR SUMMARIzE � accordingly all in all as a result
consequently due to finally
in conclusion in short in summery
therefore thus to sum up
tO ADD INFORMAtION � additionally after all again also and
another besides but equally important
finally for example for instance further furthermore
in addition likewise moreover next yet
tO CLARIF Y � for instance in other words
stated differently
that is to clarify
178 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Repeating Key Words or Phrases In addition to using the transitional expressions in Table 14.1, you can
employ other techniques to help guide readers and ensure the writing
flows smoothly and the ideas are coherent. One way to guide readers
is to repeat key words or phrases. Such repetition can occur within or
between paragraphs. In the following example, note how the writer
repeats the word symbol over several paragraphs. Such repetition helps
guide readers along and connects the content to an overriding idea.
Richard Ford’s short story, “Rock Springs” is a narrative read-
ers can easily understand. At the story’s core is a compelling
drama of a man who simply wants something better for him-
self and for his little daughter. Like us, the story’s narrator and
protagonist, Earl Middleton, has dreams. But Earl Middleton
is not without his flaws as many of the decisions he makes are
the wrong decisions. Ford helps readers understand Middle-
ton better by his symbolic use of a gold mine. Indeed, the
importance of the gold mine symbol in Richard Ford’s “Rock
Springs” cannot be underestimated in terms of understanding
the protagonist, Earl Middleton.
Ford establishes the symbol early in the story. The narra-
tor and protagonist Earl Middleton, a melancholic petty thief
with a sensitive side, describes a sunset over the Snake River
as looking “like the end of a rainbow” (1987, p. 438). What
comes at the end of a rainbow? A pot of gold—good fortune,
a change of luck, something the down-and-out narrator could
use. By establishing the symbol—or at least laying the foun-
dation for it—the reader can begin to grasp the importance of
the journey Earl Middleton has embarked upon. He’s been try-
ing to get to the other end of the rainbow his whole adult life
and although he goes about it in all the wrong ways—steal-
ing, lying—you can’t help empathizing with him. Though mis-
guided, he tries.
179essay de velopMenT
Once the idea for the symbol is established, it’s remark-
able how the subsequent development of the symbol parallels
Earl Middleton’s own inner development.
When using key words to create coherence in the writing, be sure to
only use the key words as needed; in other words, do not continually
hit the reader over the head with the key words, as it will make the
essay monotonous and potentially insult the intelligence of the reader.
Just as with the use of transitions, use key words in moderation to
keep the reader on track.
Parallel Structure Parallel structure is another form of repetition. In this case, express
similar content in grammatically similar ways to emphasize the ideas
and bring them together. The following example illustrates how
expressing ideas in similarly structured ways makes the ideas clearer
and stronger.
Same-sex couples in committed relationships share the same
responsibilities and face many of the same challenges and
issues as their heterosexual counterparts. However, because
they cannot marry, they are not recognized as a family, and
their rights are not protected by their state laws in most
cases (Cooke, 2008). Same-sex couples are denied the right
to obtain family health coverage. They are forbidden to visit
their partner in the hospital after an accident or serious ill-
ness. Same-sex couples are deprived of legal and economic
protections heterosexual couples enjoy. Same-sex couples do
not have Social Security benefits, veterans’ benefits, health
insurance benefits, or tax benefits. Some states have formed
a nonmarriage marital status called “civil unions” or “domes-
tic partnerships,” creating new legal relationships that have
begun to provide such rights to same-sex couples (Masters,
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2009). Though these unions are a start, they do not provide
the full extent of heterosexual partnership rights, and they fall
far short of being a substitute for the equal right to marry.
Notice the balanced manner in which the thoughts are expressed,
which gives them both power and coherence:
Same-sex couples are denied…
They are forbidden…
Same-sex couples are deprived…
Same-sex couples do not have…
The reader might only subconsciously recognize parallelism, but
the result is the same in that your main ideas are reinforced and drawn
together by way of the sentences’ structure and wording.
checklisT foR effecTive paRagRaphing One way to compose body paragraphs is to ask yourself a series of
questions once you have spent time drafting, revising, and think-
ing about what each paragraph is trying to accomplish—that is, the
writing represents a better than first-draft effort. Ask yourself these
questions:
●● What is the point? ●● What should readers understand after reading the paragraph? ●● Is the topic sentence clear and limited? ●● Do all of the supporting details belong? ●● Will readers understand the relationship of the supporting
details to the point of the paragraph and the larger point of
the essay? ●● Is the content organized in a logical, easy-to-understand
manner? ●● Is the development sufficient for the audience and purpose? ●● Does anything need to be added or deleted?
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inTRodUcTions and conclUsions Have you ever had the experience of reading something that you just
couldn’t put down? Do you remember that feeling of being captivated
by the first words, of being completely drawn into the text from the
get-go, and then thinking about the content long after you finished?
Good writing in general can have that effect on readers, but without a
strong introduction or conclusion, you will never engage readers the
way you need to.
Introductions and conclusions are typically the more challeng-
ing parts of a paper to write—and for good reason! The introduction
introduces, that is, it sets up the parameters for the discussion and
prepares readers for what follows. The conclusion brings the piece of
writing to a close; it offers thoughtful analytic commentary based on
what came earlier in the discussion. No wonder introductions and con-
clusions are difficult to write; they depend on everything that comes in
between—all of the content!
Most writers should compose the beginning and ending after
developing the body paragraphs. However, the writer will need some
direction for writing to compose substantive body paragraphs, and to
this end, a working thesis (see Drafting a Working Thesis, p. 163) and/
or informal outline (see Outlining, p. 166) will probably do the trick.
Introductions and conclusions are also important because they
are the first and last impressions readers get. If your introduction
or conclusion does not make the right impression, this might reflect
unfavorably (and perhaps unfairly) on the entire essay.
Introductions Introductions set the stage for what is to follow in a piece of writing
and are critical in preparing readers for the discussion. Without a
proper introduction, readers might not be able to make sense of the
content. Although you may write the introduction at any point in your
process, you might find it easier to write after completing the paper
when you are more certain of what you want to say. Regardless, the
182 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
introduction will probably change somewhat as you revise the paper
and your focus and ideas get clearer and clearer.
Although your topic and approach might be unique, you should
see some overriding characteristics in the introduction paragraph. You
need to find the right balance between the following characteristics as
determined by your topic and essay objective:
●● Provides relevant background information: Regardless of the
topic, readers need a context to understand your remarks. A
good introduction includes necessary information about the
topic that readers need to understand the importance of the
issue and why what you have to say about it matters. Readers
want to feel grounded so that they can easily follow the devel-
opment of the essay. This doesn’t mean that the introduction
provides a summary or all the relevant facts of the essay;
rather, it creates a sort of skeletal structure for the reader to
hook the information to while reading the body paragraphs. ●● Engages the reader: A good introduction captures the atten-
tion of readers so that they want to read the paragraphs
beyond the introduction. Enough specific information is
presented so that readers are interested in the topic and what
the writer plans to do with it. An engaging introduction invites
readers into the world of the writing. ●● Sets the appropriate tone: The opening paragraph estab-
lishes the tone—the spirit and attitude behind the words—
that the writer will use in a piece of writing. The tone should
be a conscious choice as it reflects how the writer feels about
the subject and about the audience, as well as the degree of
formality of the writing. In most academic writing, the general
tone is formal, but it can be more or less formal depending
on the exact purpose of the writing. For example, a piece of
writing with the purpose of introducing a new employee will
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probably be less formal and more personable than, say, a
persuasive essay. ●● Establishes the focus and purpose: The introduction must
make the focus and purpose of the paper clear to readers.
Many writers include a thesis statement that establishes the
focus and purpose and forecasts the main points. Even if you
do not use an explicit thesis statement, the focus and pur-
pose of the paper need to be just as clear. If readers do not
understand the focus or what the writer hopes to accomplish,
subsequent paragraphs might not make sense to readers.
Options for Introductions The following is a collection of some strategies for writing introduc-
tions. Often, an introduction will have characteristics of more than
one approach, so you should treat this list as a compendium of possi-
bilities, not as a prescription of how certain types of beginnings must
look. A good approach to writing an introduction is to try out a number
of options so that you get a sense of the possibilities. Don’t feel locked
into any one strategy, and recognize that writing an introduction often
requires a process just like the rest of your writing. To this end, don’t
feel you have to get the introduction right the first time. The more you
work on your introduction and think about what you are trying to say
in your paper as a whole, the better able you are going to be to write
an effective introduction.
Establish the Issue. With this type of introduction, your approach
is direct and authoritative. You establish the topic, provide relevant
background information so the context for your remarks is clear, and
place the thesis statement.
In the last decade or so, American culture has become increas-
ingly tolerant of teenage sexuality. Many parents, too busy in
their lives, are not proactive in educating their teens on issues
184 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
related to sexuality. Educators are often left with the role of
providing basic information about the subject even as more
and more sexual education classes are cut from the curricu-
lum. Where does this leave curious teens? Statistics show that
75% of teens have had sex by the time they are 19 years old.
The teenage birth rate continues to climb as do reported cases
of sexually transmitted diseases (Healy, 2008). Clearly, it is
imperative to develop intervention programs that teach ado-
lescents the effective skills in delaying early sexual behaviors.
Early education on delaying sexual activity for teens can dras-
tically decrease teenage pregnancies, prevent the spread of
STDs, and help teens to make the right choices that can impact
the rest of their lives.
Pose One or More Questions. This introduction is a tricky one to pull
off, in large part because it is so common. The basic idea is to engage
readers by using one or more thoughtful questions at the start. These
questions need to move beyond the mundane and predictable so as to
pique the audience’s interest.
Did you ever think that your life would change dramatically
in a matter of 24 hours? One day you have a certain kind of
life—a home, nearby schools for your kids, a wonderful neigh-
borhood, good job, friends—and the next day, it is all gone,
irreversibly changed. As a resident of New Orleans, Louisiana,
I had always known that a major hurricane could strike, but
even knowing this fact could not prepare me for what hap-
pened in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Katrina
demonstrated the need for residents to evacuate when man-
dated, for local and state authorities to work more efficiently
together, and for the federal government to respond in a timely
and responsible manner.
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Use a Narrative. Telling a brief story or anecdote is a lively way to
begin an essay, but the challenge for the writer is to make sure the
narrative is clearly related to the focus of the essay—that is, the story
has a purpose.
The wind whipped through the trees while lightning flashed
and thunder boomed. Up ahead on a hill, a rickety old house
stood. In an upstairs window, a single, solitary light shone,
casting an eerie shadow across the yard. I was in Chatta-
nooga, Tennessee, on business, and was driving to the out-
skirts of the city to visit my aunt, an old woman I hadn’t seen
in nearly 20 years. According to my directions, that rickety
old house was my aunt’s house, but I didn’t know if I had the
nerve to knock on the door. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time
I had been more scared. Everyone experiences fear just as
everyone experiences happiness or sadness. Fear is a natural
human emotion to the unknown and is characterized by physi-
cal changes to the body, an innate need to escape, and acute
awareness of one’s surroundings.
Use an Attention-Grabbing Statement. This type of introduction pres-
ents an opening sentence that hooks readers immediately. The state-
ment is provocative in some way and readers want to continue reading
to understand better the initial sentence.
Some children cannot sit still. They fidget and do not listen.
They appear distracted by every little thing and do not seem
to learn from their mistakes. These children disregard rules,
even when they are punished repeatedly. Many people see
such kids and conclude that their parents must not know how
to control them. However, the truth is that Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is misunderstood. In fact, ADHD
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is a growing problem that requires more research to under-
stand, better intervention programs to help afflicted children,
and improved training and support programs to help parents
and educators.
Use an Extended Example or Series of Brief Examples. With this
approach, you provide one or more examples that illustrate perfectly
an important aspect of your topic. You need to be careful not to use
content that is too sensationalistic, yet at the same time, the examples
should be vivid and memorable.
According to the Federal Highway and Transportation Agency,
the majority of Americans, some 57%, do not regularly wear
seat belts (2008). Teddy Biro didn’t wear one when the car
he was driving skidded on an icy road and hit a utility pole;
Biro was catapulted through his front windshield and died of
blood loss from a severed jugular vein. The coroner reported
he had no other injuries besides minor abrasions. Bob Nettle-
blatt wasn’t wearing a seat belt when a car rear-ended him at
a stop sign. Nettleblatt slammed his head into his front wind-
shield and required 137 stitches to close up the laceration;
investigators at the scene said if he had been wearing a seat
belt, he would have been virtually unhurt from the 2-mph,
rear-end collision (Fischer, 2007). Despite what is known
about the safety of wearing seat belts, too many Americans
still do not buckle up, resulting in enormous emergency medi-
cal costs and fatalities that could be avoided. Despite what
some people think, wearing a seat belt is not a choice nor
does it violate one’s personal rights. Wearing a seat belt is
the law and more needs to be done to enforce the law, punish
those who break it, and educate young drivers to the dangers
of not buckling up.
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Define an Essential Term. In some papers, the topic will be special-
ized enough that you need to define one or more terms so that readers
can make sense of the discussion that follows. When defining a term,
make sure the term is essential to the discussion and warrants a direct
definition. In addition, define a term in your own words, not by copy-
ing it from a dictionary. Although referring to a dictionary might seem
the logical approach, such definitions are predictable and usually bor-
ing. Offer a unique definition for any term that is important enough to
require such attention. In the following example, note how the writer
defines the term criminal in a way that is far more interesting than
offering a dictionary definition.
Gun control legislation is ineffective because of the nature of
criminals. A criminal is someone who disobeys the law and
does not respect the rules of society. It is against the law to
rob banks and murder people, but there are people in society
who rob banks and murder people. Criminals do not obey the
law regardless of the consequences. With this understanding
of the basic nature of a criminal, it seems obvious that gun
control would not work at reducing crime because a criminal
will not follow the law. Consider the Virginia Tech shootings in
April of 2007. Seung-Hui Cho’s murderous rampage took place
in a gun-free zone (Brady, 2007), but as a criminal, he did not
follow the law. If he respected the laws of this country, this
crime would never have occurred. It wouldn’t have happened,
not because of a gun-free zone, but because he understood
murder was against the law. However, criminals do not obey
laws—this is what makes them criminals.
Dramatize a Scene. Beginning in the middle of a scene with action
under way is a terrific way to hook readers. The scene needs to be
thoughtfully portrayed and compact so that it is appropriate for an
188 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
academic essay, but this kind of opening can be very effective for
some topics.
4:00 a.m., March 28, 1979, and the floor of the control room at
Three Mile Island nuclear power station jumps to life. The two
control room operators are jolted from their midshift doldrums
as alarms begin to sound and the pounding in the auxiliary
room is deafening. What those at the station did not know was
that the “worst crisis yet experienced by the nation’s nuclear
power industry” (Reuter, 2000, p. 31) had just begun, and its
impact wouldn’t be realized for years to come, if ever.
Three Mile Island nuclear power station was located on
an island in the middle of the Susquehanna River near Harris-
burg, Pennsylvania. It contained two separate nuclear power
plants, TMI 1 and TMI 2. TMI 1 had been shut down for mainte-
nance, but TMI 2 was operating at 97% of rated power provid-
ing electricity to the area (Carraway, 2000). Within seconds of
the first alarm, a chain of events would commence to destroy
the nuclear reactor and with it, the future of the nuclear power
industry in this country.
Use a Quote (Direct or Indirect). As with the posing-questions tech-
nique, using a quote to start can be effective, but it is also a familiar
approach, so it does not come without risk. To this end, you will want
to use a quote, whether direct or indirect, that is a zinger and wor-
thy of the space and attention you give it. Be sure to cite quotes from
sources, even if the quote is well known, such as those from historical
figures or movies.
An observer once said that New Orleanians are either having a
party, recuperating from a party, or planning a party. The big-
gest and best party of all and the city’s most famous celebra-
tion is Mardi Gras, the greatest free show on earth. Despite the
189essay de velopMenT
image the popular media displays to outsiders, Mardi Gras is
not the wild party shown on TV; in fact, Mardi Gras is a yearly
celebration that is much tamer than most realize, brings fam-
ily and friends together, and promotes unity among diverse
groups of people.
Use a Shocking Statement or Shocking Statistic(s). This approach
presents information that stops readers in their tracks. Although the
content is startling, it is also appropriate to the topic and provides an
interesting context for the essay.
McDonald’s has sold over 100 billion burgers. One hundred
billion burgers with buns, stacked on top of one another would
extend over 2.9 million miles into space—twelve times as far
as the moon (Grimes, 2007). What is the secret of McDonald’s
incredible success? To use the words of Ray Kroc, McDonald’s
founder, the secret to McDonald’s success is that the fast-food
giant produces “consistently mediocre food” (Thomas, 2001).
The McDonald’s corporation has become a model of success
due to its understanding of its market niche, its ability to rede-
fine its image over time, and its ability to remain stable and
produce a profit even in difficult economic times.
Conclusions At the other end of the essay is its conclusion. For many writers, end-
ings tend to be more difficult to write than beginnings, so you might
need to put in some extra effort to make sure your ending works.
Ernest Hemingway, the great twentieth-century American writer,
claimed to have written 256 different endings for his short novel The
Old Man and the Sea. Why? According to Hemingway, he needed to get
it right. Although you might not have the time to try so many different
endings to the conclusion you write, do keep in mind what Hemingway
clearly knew: For a conclusion to be successful, it needs to be satisfy-
190 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
ing. No one likes to invest time in anything if there isn’t some kind of
payoff at the end. An ending that is not satisfying is like watching a
fireworks display with no grand finale. Good endings create a sense of
closure, a sense that the business of the essay has come to a comple-
tion; the reader is not expecting more.
When you write your conclusion, keep in mind that it is your last
chance to reach your readers, so be sure your final words leave a last-
ing impression. Although the tendency is to offer a summary of what
came before, an effective conclusion moves beyond a mere summary
and brings the writing to a thoughtful and graceful exit.
Just as the introduction paragraph has general characteristics to
make it effective, the conclusion paragraph has its own characteris-
tics to have the most impact on the reader:
●● Brings the writing to a logical close: A conclusion provides
the necessary signal to readers that the business of the essay
is winding down and the reader is being returned to the world
outside of the essay. This transition should be fluid and the
parting content thoughtful so that readers are prepared for
and satisfied with the ending. ●● Reinforces the main idea in an engaging manner: Just as the
introduction provides a first impression, the conclusion pro-
vides the last impression. The conclusion should reinforce the
main idea of the work but do so in a way that is fresh and not
merely a perfunctory rehashing of what the essay discussed.
Use the ending as your last chance to reach your audience and
make sure the main point, its significance, and/or its larger
implications are understood. ●● Leaves readers with something to think about: Ideally, a
conclusion brings the world of the essay to a close in such a
way that even though the business of reading has ended, the
audience does not stop thinking about what the essay said—its
191essay de velopMenT
ideas. You don’t want an audience to end reading an essay,
thinking “So what?” Provide some content that engages read-
ers with what is important about the topic and your discussion
of it so that the meaning of the writing stays with readers.
Options for Conclusions What follows is a list of possible ways to conclude your writing.
Depending on the purpose of the writing, some endings are more
appropriate than others, so give careful thought to these techniques
and try out a number of appropriate possibilities. Please also keep in
mind that, like the offerings for introductions, you can combine these
options so that a conclusion can have characteristics of more than one
type of ending.
Most of the options for introductions can also be used for con-
clusions as well. Recall the introduction in which the writer was tell-
ing the story of the dark and stormy night he went to visit an aunt he
hadn’t seen in decades. The conclusion could pick up where the intro-
duction left off, or it could tell the story of another fearful situation the
writer experienced, but the same general technique, a narrative in this
case, could be used.
The Echo. The idea of the echo is to repeat key ideas or words or
phrases to create an “echo” that gets at a particular meaning impor-
tant to the writing.
Too many drivers act in inappropriate ways when they get
behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Too many drivers are
unnecessarily aggressive, darting in and out of traffic, run-
ning stoplights, putting everyone else on the road in peril. Too
many drivers are just plain inconsiderate as if they are the only
ones on the road. Finally, too many of those drivers are just
like you and me—good, decent people until we get in our cars.
192 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Audience Appeal. The writer shows or points out directly to the audi-
ence how things are or the likely consequences if certain conditions
remain the same. The content is presented in such a way that the
burden of responsibility lies with the audience. This approach is well
suited for writing that has a persuasive purpose.
The current political culture allows for staggering sums of
money to be spent on campaigns. The basic idea is not so
much about content as it is about getting the word out and
creating a buzz. The more one hears about a candidate, the
greater the buzz. Of course, creating a buzz costs money, but,
as advertisers have known for a long time, it is money well
spent. Getting elected is a lot like selling laundry detergent,
and until American citizens let their governmental advertisers
know that they’ve had enough, that spending millions of dol-
lars—even if it’s a candidate’s own money—to hold an office is
ludicrous, they have no one but themselves to blame.
State the “So What”. With this ending, the writer essentially states
the deeper meaning of the piece of writing so that the idea is not only
clear, but it is also emphasized.
Today, Maine is one of only 10 states that has not passed pub-
lic charter school legislation. Maine’s current public school
choice offerings are slim at best. Current choices include only
traditional public schools or private schools. Whether the rea-
son for wanting other alternatives is personal or educational,
Maine families should be afforded another choice in public
education. It’s time for Maine to recognize that public charter
schools are a valuable choice in free public education.
193essay de velopMenT
woRds fRoM wRiTeRs It’s How You Say It “I work as a financial advisor for the John Hancock Financial Network. One of the most quintessentialskills in my job is communication. Without this most basic skill, my job would be ineffective. As the old adage goes, it’s not necessarily what you say, it’s how you say it, whether that be through conversation or missive. With all of the information, illustrations, and sof tware at my disposal, the most powerful tool that I carr y is the ability to hold an intelligent conversation, effectively communicating my thoughts to those with whom I share an audience.
In my industr y, those who succeed do so through exceptional communication skills. All of the intelligence in the world won’t help if you can’t translate it to your clients. I believe this to be true in almost any industr y from financial to retail to public ser vice and ever ything in between. Books are meant to collect and store knowledge. People are meant to communicate it.”
—Kevin Scanlon, Financial Advisor
Back to the Beginning. This ending uses content that in some way
refers back to the beginning of the essay, not in a redundant way but
in a manner that makes an important connection.
While friends will drift in and out of our lives, disappearing
and maybe reappearing, some will be as constant as the stars
in the sky. These friends—the essence of true friends—we will
keep forever. These few friends will always be around and will
see us through thick and thin, good and bad, no matter what
because that is what true friends do.
No matter how you structure your conclusion, or other paragraphs
in the essay, it is vital that you take time to review what you have writ-
ten in the essay; even if you have followed all the suggestions in this
194 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
Guide, every writer needs to step back and review the draft objec-
tively.
Revising and ediTing Writing involves a lot of hard work. The early drafts of most writing
almost always need more work—sometimes it’s minor, but sometimes
it’s more substantive. The real art of writing occurs not so much in the
early, developmental drafts, but, rather, in the later drafts when the
writer is sure the content expresses a focused meaning and is working
diligently to make the prose almost sing off the page.
Revising and editing are at the center of polishing your writing
so that it is as strong and clear on the page as possible. All writers,
regardless of accomplishment, revise and edit. This part of the writing
process is often the most time consuming, but it can also be the most
satisfying the clearer and sharper your ideas and the writing get on
the page.
Revising For many writers, revision means nothing more than correcting errors.
Although correcting errors is something the writer needs to address
(at the end of the writing process when it matters), it’s not what is at
the heart of revision. Revision means just that—to re-vision a piece of
writing. When you revise, you re-see what is on the page in an effort
to improve the content and the presentation as best as you can. Peter
Elbow (1998), the author of many books on writing, put it this way:
Revision is just a matter of adding, deleting, and rearranging content.
Indeed, once you have completed a decent draft of your essay, you are
in a position to improve upon your effort, but this takes commitment
and time.
Because writing is a process, chances are you did not complete
your draft in one sitting. What you thought about your topic on day
one at the beginning of the process might be somewhat different from
what you think about this topic a week or so later at the end of the
195essay de velopMenT
process. Your research might have uncovered some unexpected mate-
rial that took you in a direction that you didn’t expect at the start of
the draft. Indeed, your thesis might have changed a bit as well as your
understanding and thoughts on the topic developed. In addition, when
you write, when you are close to the material, you do not have the
perspective on that content that readers will have. To this end, a draft
that seems to you to be one fluid and organized piece of writing might,
in fact, be bumpy and disjointed. Points that you thought were clear
might not be clear or might not be in the best order. New points might
have come to your mind that are not even developed in the draft, and
other points that were relevant when you started might be less rel-
evant now.
Most professional writers will tell you that the real act of writing is
revision. This is not to say that the drafting process does not require
hard work, for it does, but that revision allows the writer to step back
from the content and think about it more objectively. Moreover, the
writer is in a position to think about the relationship of the body para-
graphs to the thesis and the purpose for the writing.
What follows are some practical questions to ask of your draft as
you approach revision:
1. Is the tone of the essay appropriate for its audience and purpose?
2. Is the purpose of the writing clear in the development of the
essay? (For example, if the purpose is to persuade, is the paper
persuasive? Is each body paragraph persuasive?)
3. Is the introductory paragraph(s) compact yet thorough—that is,
does it get the reader interested, provide relevant background
information, and establish a clear thesis?
4. Does each body paragraph have a defined focus?
5. Is each point supported by convincing evidence?
6. Is each body paragraph developed in such a way that its relation-
ship to the point of the paragraph as well as to the main idea of
the essay is evident to readers?
196 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
7. Are the body paragraphs organized in the best order? Do the
body paragraphs flow smoothly and logically one to the next?
8. Is anything missing? Will readers have any lingering questions?
Postdraft Outlining In addition to the preceding global questions, another effective strat-
egy for approaching revision is to use the postdraft outlining method,
which Chapter 13, Outlining (pp. 143–158), covers more specifically.
This type of outline requires a completed draft—one that represents
substantive effort has gone into its completion. A rough draft will not
work very well, so be sure that the draft you use will warrant the atten-
tion you are going to devote to it.
The postdraft outlining method allows you to take a close look at
the points that you make paragraph by paragraph in a draft. Using this
revision strategy allows you to identify the clarity of your points, spot
repeated points, identify missing points, and determine the effective-
ness of how the paragraphs are organized. Often while you are draft-
ing, you are too close to the material to look at what you are producing
objectively, which is why the postdraft outline can be so useful as it
allows you to see the paper from a new perspective and then revise
accordingly.
Seven Steps to Easy Revision Another approach to revision is to use the Seven Steps to Easy Revi-
sion method to spruce up your sentences so that they are lean and pre-
cise. This approach to revision works best when you feel your paper is
near its final form—that is, after revising your paper using a postdraft
outline, and when you are fairly sure you have included all the neces-
sary content and it is organized effectively. The Seven Steps to Easy
Revision, also similar to a revision method known as the Paramedic
Method of revision, is an easy, systematic method for revising your
paper. Not one of these steps deals with grammar or mechanics. This
approach to revision is nonthreatening, logical, and objective, so take
197essay de velopMenT
your time as you work through the steps. You should probably work
through a few of the following steps, revise accordingly, and then con-
tinue through the steps. You could also print up the essay, and work
through the steps that way, revising and printing up a new copy when-
ever necessary. The following are the Seven Steps to Easy Revision:
1a. Highlight every to be verb (am, is, are, was, were, be, been,
being). Count the number of to be verbs you have used and
change as many as possible. The verb to be is the most com-
monly used verb in the English language, but it is not a strong
verb. Consider these two sentences:
A. The man was on the corner.
B. The man stood on the corner.
Which of the two sentences is more vivid? Sentence B, right?
The verb stood creates an image whereas was does not.
Although you will need to use forms of the verb in your writ-
ing, you do not want to use too many. In other words, you do not
need to change every to be verb, but you should change as many
as you can. In some cases, simply substituting a to be verb for a
stronger verb works, but in other cases, you need to revise sen-
tences entirely. For example, let’s say your sentence reads, The
sky is filled with stars. In this case, the sentence has two verbs
working together (is filled ) so that a simple substitution for the
verb is does not work. In this case, think about what the sentence
is saying and then try to revise it. You probably noticed that the
sentence is making a statement about stars, yet stars appears in
the sentence as the object of the preposition with (for some help
understanding prepositions, please consult Chapter 17, Gram-
mar, Mechanics, and Spelling, pp. 221–296). Why not revise the
sentence so that stars is in the subject slot of the sentence? Such
a sentence would read Stars fill the sky. The sentence is now
198 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
more direct and precise; it uses fewer words and communicates
the same idea more effectively.
1b. Highlight every to have verb (have, has, had ). As you did with
the to be verbs, try to get rid of as many to have verbs as possi-
ble. In some cases, you can substitute one verb for another, but
in some cases, you need to revise the entire sentence. Although
this kind of activity takes time, the end result is a better written
paper.
1c. Examine all of your verbs. Ask yourself if every verb is strong and
vivid. Try to use the best verbs possible. Working on the word
level will bolster your sentences so that they are sharper and
easier to understand.
Consider this sentence:
The wiretap law says that the court cannot approve an
interception request unless it believes that normal inves-
tigative procedures have been tried first (Shock, 2008).
What do you think about the highlighted verbs in the sen-
tence? Can you think of ways to improve upon the choice of
verbs? The verbs says and believes are not poor verbs to use, but
are they the best verbs to use? What about have been tried? This
three-word verb phrase includes forms of both to have and to be.
Your job at this point is to think and try out other verbs, perhaps
even restructuring the sentence entirely.
Let’s take each verb in order. The verb says is a good verb,
but it might not be strong enough for the sentence. What if you
changed says to states; is that better? Although the two verbs
are close in meaning, states is a stronger, more formal verb to
use and is, therefore, the better choice. What about believes?
Is this verb strong enough? Is it appropriately reflective of what
the court must do? The verb believes suggests the court thinks
something is true, but is thinks enough given what the sentence
199essay de velopMenT
is trying to say? What about the verb finds; is that stronger than
believes? In this case, finds seems more conclusive and certain,
something the court should do when rendering a decision. The
verb finds is the better one to use.
Lastly is the verb phrase have been tried. Suppose you are
satisfied with how the sentence is taking shape and will keep
have been but want to be sure tried is the best verb for the sen-
tence. Is it? Can you think of a substitute? What about changing
have been tried to have been exhausted? Does that make the
sentence stronger? Is exhausted appropriate for the sentence?
Although tried works well, the verb exhausted is a stronger verb
to use and improves the overall authority of the sentence.
Here is what the revised sentence looks like:
The wiretap law states that the court cannot approve an
interception request unless it finds that normal investiga-
tive procedures have been exhausted first (Shock, 2008).
2. Eliminate unnecessary prepositions. Prepositions are commonly
used words that show a relationship between two words in a
sentence. For example, I drink strong coffee with a little milk. In
this sentence, the preposition with shows a relationship between
coffee and milk. You might recall having to memorize a lengthy
list of prepositions, words like above, after, behind, below,
beneath, beyond, down, during, from, in, into, near, off, on, over,
through, to, under, up, and with (for a full discussion of preposi-
tions, please see Chapter 17, Grammar, Mechanics, and Spelling,
pp. 221–296). Too often, writers compose sentences that are
inefficient in that they use too many prepositions that could be
eliminated with a little effort. The idea with this revision step is
to highlight prepositions in a sentence and then weed out the
prepositions not needed. As with revising verbs discussed in 1,
apply this technique sentence by sentence. Here is an example:
200 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
The house with the purple doors at the top of the hill
belongs to me.
Notice how the prepositions slow down the development of the
idea, resulting in a wordy and clumsy sentence. Now imagine
an entire essay chockablock full of such sentences. When you
eliminate prepositions, you are going to tighten your sentences
so that the meaning is clearer. The idea is not to eliminate every
preposition, but, rather, to eliminate those that are not needed.
Consider these revised versions with less reliance on
prepositions:
My hilltop house has purple doors.
My house is at the top of the hill and has purple doors.
In both revisions, the sentences are tighter, yet each commu-
nicates the same idea as the original. This revision step can help
you reduce the clutter in your sentences so that the meaning is
precise and sharp. With practice, you will find yourself compos-
ing tighter sentences from the get-go, and your papers will be
better as a result.
3. Count the number of words per sentence, paragraph by para-
graph. Lengths should vary. If you find that most of your sen-
tences in a paragraph are about the same length, that is telling
you something—namely, the movement of your prose is repetitive
and probably predictable and boring to readers. Tinker with the
rhythm and flow of your prose. Modify how you compose and
join sentences. Read your words aloud and revise sentences that
sound clunky or do not seem fluid. Continue to revise until the
rhythm and sound of the sentences and transitions are pleasing
to your ear. Experiment. You might need to combine sentences,
restructure sentences, shorten sentences, and even compose
201essay de velopMenT
entirely new sentences—whatever it takes to improve the flow
and sound of the writing.
4. Look over your use of the pronouns it, they, everyone, and every-
body. Make sure each pronoun has a clear reference.
For example:
Boyd vacationed in Jamaica, and they had a good time.
The pronoun they is used, but what does it refer to? It appears
that it is referring to Boyd, but they is plural and Boyd is just one
person, so the word is obviously singular. In this regard, the
pronoun does not agree with what it is referring to, which is a
grammatical error. However, all that needs to happen is clarifica-
tion of they. Here are two revisions:
Boyd vacationed in Jamaica, and he and his friend had a
good time.
Boyd and his friend had a good time vacationing in
Jamaica.
In some cases, the pronoun reference might come in an
earlier sentence, and if that is the case, make sure the reference
is close enough that readers will not be confused.
5. Identify all sentences in which who, which, and that appear.
Using these words too often tends to weaken the total effect of
the writing. Keep such usage to a minimum.
For example:
The people who are in my writing group help me improve
my work.
Although there is nothing grammatically wrong with this
sentence, it could be more efficiently written, as seen here:
202 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
The people in my writing group help me improve my
work.
Or
My writing group helps me improve my work.
6. Evaluate how many times you use the words every, really, and
very. These qualifier words are rarely needed and, in fact, usually
weaken your writing, so get rid of them or replace them with a
more specific description.
7. Revise clichés out of your writing. A cliché is a trite and overused
expression such as thick as a brick, live and let live, and you’re
walking on thin ice. Get rid of clichés and replace them with origi-
nal comparisons and/or expressions.
Editing Editing is the process of fine-tuning your writing. Editing is some-
thing best done after you have revised your essay. Editing looks at
the smaller but no less important aspects of the writing, such as word
choice, grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Do not worry about edit-
ing matters until you are ready to meet your deadline, because there
is no sense laboring over aspects of your paper if it is not near its final
form.
A good approach to editing is to read your work aloud slowly, lis-
tening carefully to the sound of your writing. In many instances, if the
grammar is off or if a transition does not work, you will hear it. In addi-
tion, being aware of specific issues that often plague your writing will
help focus your attention. In fact, it is probably a good idea to make
a personal, tailor-made editing checklist . What follows is an editing
checklist for some of the more common editing issues. Feel free to
modify this list for your own purposes.
203essay de velopMenT
Editing Checklist
●❑ Circle words that you are not sure of in terms of spelling and/
or meaning. Use the most appropriate words. Check spelling
and/or meaning. (Always run spellcheck!) ●❑ Avoid second person pronouns ( you, your), especially in
formal writing. ●❑ Do not use first person plural pronouns (we, us, our), espe-
cially in formal writing. ●❑ Check for correct use of homonyms (e.g., there, their; no,
know; to, too). ●❑ Check for correct formatting of the paper (e.g., title page cor-
rect, proper header, title, spacing, margin). ●❑ Check for formatting errors within the paper (e.g., in-text
titles either italicized or in quotes; periods after citations
when they end a sentence; APA in-text and reference citations
correct; commas placed inside an end quote). ●❑ Check the visual design of the paper—is it professional
looking? ●❑ Check for overuse of exclamation points. ●❑ Check paragraphing. Indent first lines five spaces. Break up
long paragraphs or join shorter ones if need be. ●❑ Check capitalization. ●❑ Check for its/it’s errors. (Here is a mnemonic for remembering
which form to use: An apostrophe makes two words one. To
make it possessive, you use none.) ●❑ Check for correct use of punctuation (e.g., commas, semico-
lons, colons, apostrophes). ●❑ Check for subject-verb agreement errors. ●❑ Check for pronoun-antecedent errors (watch out for singular
pronouns like everybody and nobody). ●❑ Check for comma splices, run-ons, and fragments.
204 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
pRoofReading Proofreading is an activity performed after revision and editing have
occurred. Although proofreading is similar to editing, your job here is
to read your prose carefully as a way to catch any errors that you failed
to notice earlier. Read slowly and aloud, checking for weak transitions,
typos, and missing/transposed words. Read every word so that you
do not skim over simple errors. The majority of errors occur uncon-
sciously, so the best approach is to take your time and give your writ-
ing your undivided attention. It is easy to forget a word or end a word
with –ed when you need –ing. Similar word form errors can occur. Per-
haps you mean to write his but accidentally typed this; spell-check
does not flag this kind of error.
Give your work a few good final reads spaced out over a couple of
days if possible. Use a hard copy and read the paper at least once from
the last word to the first so that you focus on just the words and the
punctuation that are actually on the page. What you are trying to do is
catch “obvious” errors that your eyes do not see when you read start
to end because you are so close to the material and what the writ-
ing is supposed to say that you overlook what is actually on the page.
Many writers rush through proofreading believing that their papers do
not contain technical flaws or that readers will overlook typographi-
cal errors. Although this might be true to some extent, the more you
practice this skill, the better you will get at proofreading and the bet-
ter your papers will be because of your effort. Moreover, the more pol-
ished and professional looking your document, the more credibility
you will have in the eyes of your readers and the more successful you
will be at achieving your purpose in the piece of writing. Proofreading
requires legwork on the part of the writer, but it is time well spent and
a skill that good writers need to cultivate.
References Elbow, P. (1998). Writing without teachers. New York: Oxford Univer-
sity Press. (Originally published in 1973)
205
Style with respect to writing refers to the different ways we write in dif-
ferent settings and disciplines. For example, the style of writing that
is appropriate for an e-mail to a close friend (a casual style filled with
humor, abbreviations, contractions, and slang) is different from the
style appropriate for a business memo (a direct and formal style with
to-the-point sentences, bulleted summaries of findings, or next steps).
In brief, what is stylistically appropriate in one type of writing might
not be in another. Part of being a successful writer is determining the
required style for different occasions, and then being able to write in
that style. How do you learn about different styles? Let us break down
some of the more common ones.
We often discuss writing as being “formal” or “informal.” Formal
writing tends to have a professional purpose (e.g., business or aca-
demic) and tends to be geared toward a professional audience (e.g.,
a prospective employer or a professor). College papers, résumés, lab
reports, legal briefs, business memos, and technical documents are
all types of writing that require a formal style. It follows standard con-
ventions of grammar, spelling, and word choice, and is clear and con-
cise. It often requires numerous revisions to get it to its final form.
Informal writing, on the other hand, tends to have a personal
purpose (e.g., building relationships with family or friends, or jotting
down things to remember them) and as such is geared toward a per-
sonal audience (e.g., you, friends, and family). Text messages, Face-
book® status updates, Twitter™ tweets, greeting cards, shopping
chapteR 15
stYle and Voice
KaRa VandaM
206 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
lists, and instant messages are all types of writing that are most natu-
ral with an informal style. Informal writing has more flexibility in terms
of its grammatical, spelling, and wording conventions. Although being
clear and concise is still a common goal (in particular when charac-
ters are limited as with text messages), humor and creativity are more
highly valued.
Table 15.1 provides some examples that highlight the difference
between formal and informal styles.
Table 15.1 foRMaL VeRsUs INfoRMaL
FORMAL INFORMAL �
Any department failing to meet the March 1 implementation deadline will find its annual recruiting bud- get reduced by 5%.
We need to make sure we meet the March 1 deadline so we don’t have our annual recruiting budget cut by 5%.
The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Ms. Margaret Stone and Mr. Joshua Freeman.
Maggie and Josh just got married, and now it’s time to celebrate! Join us for a post-wedding bash at Milo’s Italian Restaurant on Hill Avenue.
The Milltown Reservoir samples showed a mean nitrate concen- tration of 18 ppm, likely due to increased fertilization runoff from neighboring properties. Steps must be taken to reduce levels to 10 ppm to ensure a safe supply of drinking water for the area.
Recent water samples taken from the reservoir showed an unsafe average nitrate concentration level. Likely, the spike comes from lawn fertilizer that ran into the lake during last week’s rainstorm. We need to do something to make our drinking water safe again.
Within each of these styles, you will find other substyles. In the case
of formal academic writing, different academic disciplines have dif-
ferent preferred styles. For example, you might have been told by
past teachers to avoid the passive voice (no: The year’s profitability
goals were established; yes: The CEO established the year’s profit-
207sT yle and voice
ability goals), and first person (no: I think that the experiment demon-
strated…; yes: The experiment demonstrated …).
It might surprise you to learn that the passive voice is the pre-
ferred style in some disciplines, as is the use of first person. The sci-
ences often use passive voice because the passive voice puts the
emphasis on the object. If you are conducting an experiment, what is
noteworthy are the results of the experiment, not who conducted it;
therefore, the passive high levels of magnesium were found is more
appropriate than the active I found high levels of magnesium. Simi-
larly, the humanities often use the first person because humanistic
research reveals personal reactions to art, literature, and philosophy;
therefore, I find the artist’s use of blue to be connected to his chronic
depression might be quite appropriate in the humanities.
whaT is voice? Have you ever read something—a letter from a friend, a Facebook®
posting—and thought to yourself, “I can totally hear her saying that!”
It is as though you literally “hear” the voice of the author in your head,
and it will often bring a smile to your face. That, in short, is what is
meant by the term voice in writing. Your voice is your own individual,
unique manner of expression, and we each have one.
How is voice different from style? A fashion analogy might help
us here. Imagine you have been invited to a company holiday party. It
is being held in the finest hotel downtown, and the invitations specify
“black tie,” meaning that men should dress in tuxedos and women
should dress in evening gowns. Just as with style in writing, this style
in fashion tells you the guidelines for what is appropriate given the
event, and showing up in Bermuda shorts and flip-flops would not be
appropriate. Yet, even with this style guideline, no one will look identi-
cal at the party. The men’s tuxedos will vary in cut and fabric, and the
range of women’s evening gowns in terms of color, fabric, and overall
design will be very large. In this way, each person will still be unique
and show their unique voice. As with fashion, your unique voice can
208 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
come through regardless of the writing style within which you are
working.
developing yoUR own sT yle and voice As discussed previously, the biggest difference between style and
voice is that style is something already established that you adopt,
whereas voice is something that comes from inside you. There are sev-
eral great techniques for developing both.
The best way to develop a style is first to determine the type of
writing you will be doing (e.g., a business memo, a college essay,
a legal brief, a technical document, a patient report). Next, read
examples written by other writers in that area, observe their stylistic
choices, and follow that style. Reaching out directly to a mentor—be
it a supervisor or a professor—to ask about stylistic conventions is
also a great idea. Finally, remember that the goal of any communica-
tion style is still clear communication, and consistent choices lead to
clarity.
The techniques for developing your voice have some overlap
with those for developing your style. Once again, it is important to
think about the kind of writing you are doing, and read how voice
comes through in the way other authors have written in those areas.
Although your voice comes through in all forms of writing, it is likely to
be more noticeable in informal writing versus formal writing. It is also
a great idea to read as many authors as you can, paying attention to
how their voice comes through, and identifying which aspects of their
writing are signatures of their voice. Is it their humor, the length of
their sentences, their word choice, something else, or all of the above?
To practice finding characteristics of voice, try one or more of the fol-
lowing activities:
1. Visit Facebook® or another social media site, and—taking care
not to see who posted what—read several posts made by your
209sT yle and voice
friends. Can you tell who wrote which? How? Which characteris-
tics identify the author?
2. Do an Internet (Google™, Bing™, Yahoo!®, etc.) search for
“comedian quotes” and review quotations from several come-
dians with whom you are familiar. Can you “hear” the comedian
say the quote, even though you are reading it? How do you know
this? What characteristics establish the comedian’s voice?
3. Look at writing you have done in the past (letters, e-mails, social
media postings). What characteristics in your writing make it
clear you wrote it?
sTRaTegies foR sUccess Honing Your Style and Voice One way to develop style and voice in your writing is to spend some private time each day writing something personal. You can write a reaction to something that hap- pened during your day, a remembrance of a special moment or interaction with someone, or a reflection on your goals. This doesn’t have to take long, maybe 10–20 minutes, and it doesn’t have to be like a journal. You can simply label it Reaction to…, or Thoughts About…, or My Goals for….
effecTive Use of langUage Effective use of language is, simply put, using the style, voice, and
word choice to get your message across to your readers in the best
way possible. We have discussed style and voice already, so let us
turn our attention now to word choice.
Many writers—especially student writers—make the mistake of
trying to write with unfamiliar words with the goal of making their
writing sound “intelligent.” In fact, misusing a word is worse than
not using it at all. Further, if you are unfamiliar with a word, there is a
good chance that some of your readers are as well. This does not mean
that you should not try to expand your vocabulary: We each learn new
words every day. You simply should not feel, however, that you have
210 Rese aRching, oUTlining, and cR af Ting yoUR essay
to use “big” words to make the right impression. The key is using the
right word for the right setting.
Style, voice, and effective use of language are three important
components of writing that works. Every writer, no matter how experi-
enced or how new, should pay attention to these three areas and con-
sciously work to improve them. Remember, however, at the end of the
day that regardless of style or voice, the best writing is writing that is
clear. If you keep clarity as your number one priority, you are bound to
be successful with your writing!
