Reflective analysis

Abbey XXXX

Professor XXXX

English 101 October 17, 2012

A Reflective Rhetorical Analysis

A Experiencing and Observations of Persuading My Friend Rhetorically

Recently, I had to persuade my cousin to restore her marriage with her husband. She wanted to end her relationship with her partner because she said that he is so immature when it comes to family decisions. She also confessed that her husband is always drunk when he gets home. Aside from her responsibilities with her child, she told me that she had to worry about her husband’s drunken acts. She was so tired understanding her partner for almost a year now. I told my friend that her situation is definitely hard and complicated, but separation is not the only answer or solution to their marital problems. As a suggestion, I told her to talk to her husband and discuss their issues and disputes. I tried to persuade her that separation is never easy, especially when their child grows older and learns his family’s situation.

Rather than just a relative, Anna is also my close friend. We may not be the best of friends, but we both know that we can have each other when we need a friend or someone to talk to. Since we know each other for a long time, it is easy for us to express our feelings and sentiments on a certain problem or issue without hesitations and limitations. There are periods of negative reactions, rejections of each other’s ideas, and acts of defense, but we soon agree on the same thought after several arguments. Sometimes, we tend to fight because we do not agree on each other’s perspectives because her beliefs are far different from mine. But we both know that these disagreements and discussions strengthen our relationship as friends because we are able to express anything without uncertainties. I believe that this kind of relationship is one of the significant reasons or bases of shaping my ability to be persuading her, especially when needed.

When she told me her decision to leave her husband, I immediately rebuff. Anna became skeptical with my quick response and thought that I will console her. As she looked skeptical, I tried to persuade her by using ethos; and to build my credibility, I used my cousin’s condition and my aunt’s experiences. As I told her the reasons why I want her to restore her marriage, she felt my credibility to persuade her. I told her the story of my friend who is raised by her single mother. She felt the love of her parents, but there is still a feeling of incompleteness. My friend also speaks to me regarding her personal battle for completeness that she believes she cannot obtain because she has no real and whole family. I told Anna that as long as she is not a victim of domestic violence, she should not give up with her marriage. I also said that she is just in the beginning of her journey to married life. I also told her that my aunt used to talk to my mother telling that she sometimes regret her decision to leave her husband because she knew that they can work things out. She was just so “pissed” of her husband during those times because she cannot feel the love, commitment, and care that should be given to her. My aunt, I told to Anna, never knew that her husband had a tragic problem with his work that he could not express to his wife because he was afraid to discuss it. My aunt admitted that she was unaware and insensitive to the situation of her husband; and to satisfy her pride and “dignity,” she left him. This made Anna realize that my suggestion of restoring her marriage is not only to create a debate, but to help her learn the meaning of her new journey as a wife and mother. And I believe that these confessions and stories made me a credible “speaker” to Anna.

Aside from using ethos, I also used logos and pathos to persuade Anna in restoring her marriage instead of her decision to separate. From the beginning of my so-called speech, I make sure that I am using examples to prove that separation is not the answer to her marital problems. I use clear examples, words, and reasons to make the persuasion more realistic and believable. I make sure that when I am discussing important thoughts or ideas, I am not sad or mad because I know that my emotions can affect her persuasion, especially if it contradicts my depictions, reasons, and arguments. However, it does not mean that I talk with emptiness or numbness. I used my family’s experiences, particularly my cousin and aunt to prove my arguments and make Anna believe that separation should not be seen as a solution to the problem or act against her partner just to prove that she can leave him. I used my family’s experience to help her realize that marriage is truly important, not only for her, but also for her son.

We talked about Anna’s problem in a restaurant where we feel we can talk deeply and seriously. We talked there at nighttime when only few people are dining to be able to focus on our discussions or to “my speech.” This restaurant has background music; and when I am talking about my idea of marriage restoration, Anna and her husband’s favorite music started to play. She stopped listening to me and almost teary-eyed, but I think that this music added impact to my persuasion because she was able to reminisce her happy moments with her husband, especially when they are still in boyfriend-girlfriend period. She talked to me about their experiences together—the disputes, fights, misunderstandings, and love that provide them stability as lovers. As she talked about it, I kept on persuading her and helped her realize that her husband is not a bad partner. What I have done differently in my persuasion, aside from ethos, pathos, and logos, is to let Anna release her pains first before establishing my thoughts and providing her the reasons to restore her marriage that she soon agreed.