fixing

Feb.12.2014

My name is Ali Alsarraf, I am twenty years old and I am a full time International student from Kuwait. I am currently a sophomore student studying mechanical engineering at Cal State Fullerton to get my bachelor’s degree and hopefully my master's degree in the same. I have several hobbies, which are interesting in my life. I am a social person who love hanging out with my family members or my friends. I like listening to different pieces of music. I am a fun of video games and my favorite genres are Battlefield, World Of War Craft, the Walking Dear Series and Game of Thrones. I am a car enthusiast who own and drives a white Nissan 350z and loves drifting and racing for fun. However, I study abroad and life is not very easy though. There are challenges, which I have to deal with to meet my hobbies, my studies and the general well living. Although I have no problem living and meeting several of my hobbies during my International stay, I am always fearful of several other life issues, which are a challenge while abroad, that is caused by fear. Although studying abroad is interesting, fun and worth, there are several issues, which do not blend with my life. For example, I have to deal with homesick and my grades as a student should remain high. Homesick and anxiety about what I am missing cannot quite get away from my mind. Moreover I have the constant fear of not being able to finish my school on time or to maintain a high GPA.

While abroad homesick is inevitable, homesick is a universal condition for anybody who is leaving home for the first time. I thought I could manage this condition but it is overwhelming especially when I am way from people who matter to me in life. For example, I have constant fear and anxiety that I cannot be with my niece Zaina and my nephew Ali. Zaina is almost 1 year and Ali is 4 years. I miss and will miss their birthday parties. I will miss Zaina's first words when she will start uttering a few. I will also not be able to attend Ali's graduation. I am also afraid to miss beautiful moments with my family such as vacations, celebrating Kuwait's National Day, which is on the 25th of every February. My brother, Abdulaziz is also graduating from the Flight School and I will not be attending his graduation. Of course, I am worried about missing this important party.

Another constant fear I develop while away from home is being unable to assist my family when they go through bad days. For example, when my father was admitted to the hospital because of high blood pressure which was way more above the average level and he suffers from diabetes as well which made it worse, I was not there to help him or stand by his side. Moreover, the last time he was sick, my family did not let me know because they were also afraid that such news could affect my studies. If a similar thing happens again, I am afraid they might not inform me again. I am a social person who cares for my relatives and people around me. They ought to tell me everything because maybe great developments are happening without my knowledge. If I am updated on such issues, may I might reduce worry for my family. My abroad stay means that I will not be able to help my eldest sister who is divorced with taking my eldest nephew Ali to the hospital since he has a health challenge. I wish I could but now it is impossible.

Being a car enthusiast, owning a car and living away from my country is a challenge. I am always having constant fear about my driving, racing and drifting habits in a foreign country because of tough traffic rules. I have to admit that my racing hobby will not work here. I am afraid of landing into jail for traffic offences. I have already had several traffic offences with warnings and tough fines and I know I am eligible for more traffic offences. The issue of traffic is affecting my fun. Otherwise, why do I love cars? For example, one time I was racing with a friend on the 57 South high way and at about 110 mph. I driving my white Nissan 350z model 2004 and he was racing a ford mustang 2005. We were pulled over by the high patrol but he only gave us a fine ticket of 750 dollars and warned us that if he caught us again he will put us in jail. I also do not have a state driving license. I am afraid this will give me a jail sentence if I do not get one before I am caught with another traffic offence. Traffic offences are not the only troubles I have with my car. Constant drifting is costing me a lot of money for repairs. For example, I recently spent 1000 dollars to repair the rack and pinion of my car, which was damaged while I was drifting.

I have constant fear for my apartment because of several issues. First, my room has to be clean and tidy because cleaning it consumes much of my time. Therefore, I try to maintain highest level of order in my apartment to avoid dirt piling up. It is stressing but I have to do it because the time spent cleaning a dirty room is much more than the time I can spend organizing an already clean room. A clean living place also adds to jovial day's mood. Since I fear starting the day with a bad mood, I have to ensure my room is clean. There is the issue of paying bills. I am always afraid of the consequences that I will face if I do not pay bills on time. In case I will be late paying any bill or maybe I forget to pay in right time, I am sure to have a bad reputation. This is dangerous because I will not find another room so easily because no one will trust me.

My neighborhood is another problem I have to cope with, with in my apartment. Especially during weekends, there are numerous parties in my apartment complex. Sometimes when revelers are drunk, they constantly nock at my door and pressing the bell button. This problem is chronic to extent of affecting my concentration when studying. For example, one day I had a calculus exam the following day. These people came and camped at my door knocking and ringing the bell. I lost concentration because a calculus exam is not the one you revise with divided attention. I had to call the complex security to have them away from my door and leave me to concentrate. As if that is not enough for my apartment, even safety is an issue I have to deal with. There was an incident when a group of young men tried to break in. I was worried about this incident, which sent me into panic. I reported to the office complex and they had to change the door locks. Fear for my apartment is chronic with several incidents I have to deal with and manage to stay comfortable.

Studying abroad requires effort especially when you have a government sponsorship. I am always on toes to keep my grades high and maintain a minimum of 2.0 GPA. I am always afraid of failing because a GPA below 2.0 means I will lose the government sponsorship and be forced to meet all the cost of my education abroad. For example, I experienced intense fear and depression when I got a C grade in my biology paper last semester. This could have been worse but tried to work hard to maintain the minimum grade required. I have to do everything I can to keep my grades above average regardless of the challenges. I had a plan to pursue my masters, which requires a minimum GPA of 3.0. If I do not reach this GPA in my undergraduate studies, I am afraid I will not continue with further studies at least immediately after I graduate.

I admit that staying or studying in a foreign country is fun and interesting because someone learns new cultures and has a chance to change their environment. The studies are worth especially when you graduate with an internationally recognized degree. However, fear still defines me at this time of my life but hopefully with time I will be able to overcome it and the fears that I have at this time of my life will only be memories that will define my life later and make me a better man.

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