Toulmin Essay Defusing Ticking Social Bomb
Isaac Perry
engl_102_mike_toulmin_essay.docxRunning Head: THE TOULMIN ESSAY Hurley 1
THE TOULMIN ESSAY Hurley 8
Essay 2 Rubric
Essay 2 Rubric: 100 Possible Points
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Category |
Met: |
Partly Met: |
Did Not Meet: |
Comments |
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Organization (15 pts) |
The essay was logically organized, including an introduction paragraph, conclusion paragraph, a thesis statement, body paragraphs, and topic sentences |
The organization of this essay caused some confusion to the reader or did not include all of the required components |
The essay was very poorly organized making it hard for the reader to follow progression of the essay |
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Topic Choice: (15pts) |
A topic of local interest or a larger topic with a local angle was discussed |
N/A |
The topic of the paper was inappropriate to the assignment specifications and did not meet the requirements of the prompt. |
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Content: (20 pts) |
The paper was written as a Toulmin-style argumentative essay that included support for your claim, an explanation of opposing views, and a rebuttal of those views |
The content was fairly strong but did not have enough development or did not stay on topic |
The content of the paper was inappropriate to the topic and did not meet the requirements of the prompt. |
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Mechanics (15 pts) |
Proper grammar and spelling were used throughout the assignment. MLA formatting was used throughout. |
Your grammar, spelling, and citations looked pretty good, but were some issues, specifically: |
The assignment had many grammatical and spelling issues that hindered the ability of the reader to understand the essay. Proper citation was not used throughout the essay |
Please see my comments below |
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Length (15 pts) |
The content was at least 1,000 words in length |
The essay was well over the length requirements of 1000-1300 words long |
The content was less than the requirements of 1,000 words in length |
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Outside Sources: (15pts) |
At least two appropriate outside sources were used in this essay. |
An outside source was included but was not an appropriate choice or only one outside source was used |
No outside sources were used. |
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Cover Letter (5 pts) |
All six questions were answered and the letter was included as part of the submission of the assignment |
The letter was included with the essay but the questions did not receive full responses |
The letter was not included with the submission of the essay |
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95/100 Overall, you did a good job on this assignment. You wrote a persuasive essay about a topic of local interest, using the Toulmin style argument. In your argument, you included your initial claim, support for your claim, an explanation of the opposing viewpoint, and a rebuttal against that argument. Your essay was at least 1,000 words. Your essay fully explored your topic. Your essay was well-organized and included a thesis statement. Your mechanics were pretty well on target (though I made a few notes below), and you included your cover letter at the end of your essay. I enjoyed reading your essay.
Professor Amy Sloan
ENGL 102 Effectiveness in Writing
9 April 2012
The Toulmin Essay Cover Letter
1) The purpose of this essay was to conduct research and complete writing about a topic of local interest, or of taking a national or global topic and finding a local angle on it. By completing this argumentative approach on a topic of interest will allow the reader to see both the claim and warrant for the argument? If the claim and warrant are successful, one could only hope that the reader would be able to take valuable insight into the topic. 2) From completing this assignment I have learned a few new terms and meanings which I can now apply to my reading and writing that will help me better present the purpose and intention for the writing. 3) In the beginning of the assignment I was dreadful of the task at hand but as the information unfolded, it began to make more sense and I was able to better understand the concept. The difficulties that I had we’re how do I accomplish this and where do I begin. The annotated bibliography was also very frustrating on understanding the intent and purpose of having it if a works cited is included. In my opinion this was “over-kill” and has taught me nothing except to hate writing even more. 4) Mostly I did not enjoy anything about this assignment as I do not like arguments and try to avoid them at all cost and I do not like to write and am only taking this class to meet a requirement for my BS. 5) I decided to write about this topic because it is a big issue in the news today in the area where I am stationed and is causing a lot of commotion.
Annotated Bibliography
Garrison, Joey. Police, Fire Departments ask mayor for sizable budget expansions (26 March 2012). Retrieved from http://nashvillecitypaper.com/content/city-news/police-fire-departments-ask-mayor-sizable-budget-expansions
This article discusses the current issue with a federal grant that Nashville Metro received as part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. It lists the details of the grant and concerns now that the funds are mostly exhausted.
Grants.gov. What is a Grant?. Retrieved from http://www.grants.gov/aboutgrants/grants.jsp
This website explains what a grant it, what the process of filling and applying for a grant entails, and the also explains the history of the grant program. The grants website is also for both grantors of the funds as well as those businesses, agencies, and offices applying for the grant as a one-stop-shop forsay.
Hacker, Diana. A Pocket Style Manual, 6/e. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2009.
This pocket style manual identifies the major steps of clarity, grammar, punctuation and mechanics. It also helps in developing well-researched and well-written papers, memo’s, essays and etc. Examples of each document are also included in the text as practical guides.
Recovery.org. Track the Money: The Recovery Act. Retrieved from http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_bills&docid=f:h1enr.pdf
This website and Bill in particular defines every aspect of the recovery and reinvestment that President Obama signed into law. It goes as far as determining who receives the funds, when they will receive the funds and how much they will receive.
COPS.usdoj.gov. Retrieved from http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/pdf/DOJRecoveryReportingWebinar9-10-09.pdf
This website and article discusses the preparation for the federal grant that Nashville Metro received. It also discussed the calculating of jobs data and data elements for the creation of the new officer positions. Lastly it discussed the ins and outs of submitting and reviewing reports and the releasing of data.
Consequences of Accepting Federal Grants
What is a federal grant? First of all, grants are not benefits or even entitlements nor are they assistance or loans to individuals. According to Grants.gov, “a federal grant is an award of financial assistance that is given from an agency to a recipient in order to carry out a public purpose of either support or stimulation that has been authorized by a law.” Two years ago President Obama approved the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, Bill 111 for the purpose of: “(1) To preserve and create jobs and promote economic recovery. (2) To assist those most impacted by the recession. (3) To provide investments needed to increase economic efficiency by spurring technological advances in science and health. (4) To invest in transportation, environmental protection, and other infrastructure that will provide long-term economic benefits. (5) To stabilize State and local government budgets, in order to minimize and avoid reductions in essential services and counterproductive state and local tax increases.” (Bill 111 H.R. 1, pg 1-2). As you can see this Bill is very importance, but what it does not tell you are what happens after the grant funds are exhausted. In this essay, Nashville Metro will be discussed in particular concerning a grant that they had received through this act to create jobs. Not just any jobs, but police officer jobs and now Nashville Metro has a budget crisis on their hands. The situation will be explained as well as a few solutions that could potentially help or resolve the issues at hand. Comment by Amy Sloan: Be careful not to overuse sources. Remember that the majority of any academic essay should come from your own ideas with no more than 20% of any essay coming from outside source material. Comment by Amy Sloan: In formal academic essays, you must always avoid directly referencing the audience, which means avoiding words such as "you" and "yours." Comment by Amy Sloan: This is a capitalization error. Only proper nouns should be capitalized in addition to the first words of sentences and words in titles. Refer to this cite for help with capitalization: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/592/1/ Comment by Amy Sloan: This comma is unnecessary and should be removed. Remember that not all natural pauses in speech indicate that a comma should be inserted. Instead, refer to the rules of grammar for guidance on when to use commas. Comment by Amy Sloan: You are missing a comma here that is necessary for the sentence to be correctly punctuated. Refer to this resource for guidance on comma rules: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/
My claim that I want to make is that within Tennessee alone, federal assistance grants have now been exhausted and Congress plans to cut and reduce future grants as well and leave it up to the states to resolve the issues that have been temporarily fixed by approving grants. The issue of cut and reduced future grants creates an exigence and large concern for Tennessee and other states alike. The reason behind this could be because of the dependency placed on receiving these grants at the time of approval of the grants. More and more, businesses, agencies, and companies are relying on federal grants to pull them out of a bind. When will this all stop? One federal grant that has been in the news lately is the Nashville Metro federal grant that is stirring up potential property tax increases. This federal grant was approved as part of the “American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 that created 50 new police officer positions and has paid their salaries and benefits for the past 3 years.” (Garrison) Those 50 new police officer jobs that were created ultimately lead to better crime fighting and prevention in the Nashville Metro area. According to COPS and the United States Department of Justice websites, “Nashville had received $8.6 million in federal grant money that has paid for the 50 new officer positions benefits and salaries for going on three years now.” The three years will be up in July 2012 and as a result Nashville Metropolitan government will be responsible for absorbing this cost that was never budgeted or mentioned during the beginning stages of the approval process. Now, Nashville Metropolitan is looking at trying to find ways to pay for these positions that were part of President Obama’s American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. Comment by Amy Sloan: This is a run-on sentence, which means that it is two independently clauses that were not correctly joined together. Review this website for more help with run-on sentences: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/598/02/ Comment by Amy Sloan: In formal academic essays, it is important to avoid using the first person, which includes any reference to yourself, such as "I," "me," "us," "we," etc. Comment by Amy Sloan: Be careful not to overuse sources. Remember that the majority of any academic essay should come from your own ideas with no more than 20% of any essay coming from outside source material.
So how does Nashville plan to handle the issue of an exhausted federal grant? One potential solution that Mayor Dean is looking hard at doing is to increase taxes for the Nashville Tennessee area. The tax increase is focused mainly on increasing property tax alone. This has the people of Nashville heated and upset. This solution could have potentially grave damage to the Metro area as well. Also, with a declining economy, huge deficit that continues to grow, and forced Obama-care, the people just do not know, if Mayor Dean approves the tax increase, how they will make ends meet. Another potential solution is for Nashville Metropolitan Department to seek out additional or ask for additional funding through an extension of the already approved grant. Without a doubt, the federal grant has enhanced the Nashville Metro area crime fighting and prevention efforts but dependencies on grants are becoming a norm. However, an extension would allow for Mayor Dean and the Nashville Metro Department to properly budget for those 50 new positions in order to meet year-end strengths and remain within the budget so that they would no longer have to rely on the federal grant funds. Lastly, at a last resort solution, those 50 new positions would have to be either eliminated or other areas be cut in order to allow the new officer positions to become permanent. By doing this, the improved crime prevention over the course of the last three years could ultimately pay the consequences if they are eliminated or other areas would then suffer and be handed additional consequences. Either way, this solution would not go good with either solution enforced. Comment by Amy Sloan: You are missing a comma here that is necessary for the sentence to be correctly punctuated. Refer to this resource for guidance on comma rules: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/
In conclusion consequences of accepting federal grants are not to be taken lightly and all the risks associated with each grants should be scrutinized before acceptance. If Congress does cut or scale back federal grants in the future, now is the time that government businesses, agencies and companies attempt to get a clear visual of where they are headed and not rely on federal grants like they are now. However, Bill 111 stated that the bill will accomplish the following: “To stabilize State and local government budgets, in order to minimize and avoid reductions in essential services and counterproductive state and local tax increases.” (Bill 111 H.R. 1, pg 1-2). This purpose is the driving factor behind many government businesses, agencies and companies relying so heavily on the federal grants. Because of this, Nashville Metro increased the local police force by 50 officers that has definitely made an impact on the crime fighting and prevention rate or Mayor Dean would not want to keep them on permanently. As such, if you look at other cities across the country you can see that by a reduce police force they suffer from higher crime rates which is the major consequence that Nashville Metro would have on their hands if the solutions mentioned above are not handled or acted on accordingly. Comment by Amy Sloan: You are missing a comma here that is necessary for the sentence to be correctly punctuated. Refer to this resource for guidance on comma rules: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/
Works Cited
Garrison, Joey. Police, Fire Departments ask mayor for sizable budget expansions (26 March 2012). Retrieved from http://nashvillecitypaper.com/content/city-news/police-fire-departments-ask-mayor-sizable-budget-expansions
Grants.gov. What is a Grant?. Retrieved from http://www.grants.gov/aboutgrants/grants.jsp
Hacker, Diana. A Pocket Style Manual, 6/e. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2009.
Recovery.org. Track the Money: The Recovery Act. Retrieved from http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_bills&docid=f:h1enr.pdf
COPS.usdoj.gov. Retrieved from http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/pdf/DOJRecoveryReportingWebinar9-10-09.pdf
