Essay edit

This was a good effort that I feel can become an A paper. First off I want you to focus on for the portfolio revision of this paper is to expand your introduction to the paper. I would like to see you introduce gothic culture in a more casual way that common readers may identify who exactly these people are in society. Next, I want you to be sure that you are using sources in each and every paragraph of your paper. Towards the end of your essay you begin to leave out sources and that is why I lowered your overall grade just a little. Again, grammar is crucial, and I found lots of misspelled or misused words throughout your essay. Please come see me in my office hours and I will be happy to point them out to you. Also, your conclusion needs to work and I suggest beginning your conclusion without saying, "The foregoing" because it is unnecessary and your reader knows this is your conclusion since it is your last paragraph of the essay.