Business case study

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3. Why People Support You and Why They Resist

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. —John Cage

American Composer

When a former chairman of the ill-fated Eastern Airlines was once asked what he thought of employee involvement, he replied, "There is no way I'm going to have the monkeys running the zoo."1

This kind of arrogance makes cooperation extraordinarily difficult, if not impossible. Is it any wonder that Eastern went out of business?

Imagine that you worked for him. How would you react when you heard about the “monkeys running the zoo” comment? Would it inspire you to do better to prove him wrong? (No, I didn’t think so.)Would you go to him with your suggestion for improving safety by making a shift in how the company did routine maintenance? (You say you wouldn’t! Just what kind of employee are you?) How about when he came up with some grand plan to reorganize the company so Eastern could respond to fierce competition from other airlines, would you volunteer to help in any way you could? (No! I’m surprised at how negative you are.) You’ll notice that your resistance to the boss wasn’t due to some innate character flaw on your part, but it was in reaction to his leadership. This extreme, but all-too-real example, gets at the heart of why people resist as well as why they might choose to support you and the changes you want to introduce. Support and resistance are two sides of a single coin. They go together. And, it should go without saying that approach to leadership works against employee engagement. Since most changes in organizations require the support of other people, you’ve got to know where support and resistance come from. [A head] WHAT IS RESISTANCE? There is hope embedded in resistance, but to find it we must first understand what it is.

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Although the word is used freely when we speak of change, it is often used imprecisely and incorrectly.

• We use resistance to talk about some vague opposition. • The mere mention of the word may evoke anger at those who have the audacity to

resist us. • We call these people resistors, as if resistance were the sole province of a class of

people—whom we probably don't like. • Therefore, it is natural to try to find a way to get rid of it—to overcome resistance.

These views work against our ability to build the support and commitment we need to accomplish any big change (or little change for that matter). Attempts to try to overcome resistance usually just increase opposition. Newton could have been writing about resistance when he said that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. With a better understanding of the nature of resistance, you will become more adept at recognizing it in all its many forms and learn how to anticipate and avoid it. So, what is resistance? It is a force that slows or stops movement. It is a natural and expected part of change. Any system, whether the human body or an organization, resists any change that it believes will be harmful. If you have ever tried to lose weight, you will immediately recognize this dilemma. As you try to lose a few pounds, your metabolism slows to keep you from starving. Your body doesn't know that you are acting on a New Year's resolution. It is simply trying to slow you down so you can conserve energy. Research (but not personal experience) suggests that when you overeat, your metabolism speeds up to keep you at a comfortable set point or preferred weight. Your metabolism adjusts to keep your weight steady.

As a company begins a massive reorganization, middle managers may resist because they feel it will harm them. They believe that they might lose their authority or even their jobs. Their set point is the status quo, even though they may actually see the need for change. This is not altogether different from standing on scales and resolving to lose those extra pounds. You begin to realize that the mind and the body can work at cross purposes. As much as you might wish for it, progress without resistance is impossible. People will always have doubts and questions. Even when you are the champion of change, you will still have doubts. Will this really work? Have I given the idea sufficient thought? Resistance is a natural part of any change. Think of it as protection, energy, and a paradox.

[B head] Protection Resistance protects us from harm. It keeps us from skiing down treacherous double black diamond slopes after our first lesson on the bunny hill. It alerts us that taking that chair lift to Bodycast Mountain is foolhardy and hazardous to our health. In organizations, it keeps us from saying yes to every bonehead idea that some overzealous manager dreams up. By resisting, we may save ourselves lots of unnecessary work, pain, and migraines.

Comment [H1]: I added these two words

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From the vantage point of the person resisting, caution is absolutely the right course of action. When we are the ones resisting, we see it as a positive force. It keeps us safe. Resistance can be a sign of health, a way to navigate in a complex and rapidly changing world.

Just imagine if you said yes to everything everyone asked of you. When your boss, co- workers, employees, partner, kids, telemarketers call—you say yes. It is resistance to that onslaught of requests and demands that keeps you from being overwhelmed by all those demands. If we can remember that people resist for good reasons—that they usually aren't out to get us—then we can begin to approach them differently. Keeping this thought in mind may allow us to search for ways to work with others rather than inflicting something on them.

[B head] Energy Resistance is energy. If you have ever faced a room full of people angry at some action you took, you will have no trouble recognizing this unique brand of energy. The energy of resistance can be a powerful and frightening force. You may be inclined to meet this force with force. Even though you may overpower and win the battle, you will lose the war because you have lost the commitment you so desperately needed. Your goal should be to help redirect this energy. In the martial art of Aikido, the purpose is to find the harmony in conflict. When an opponent punches, the master does not counterpunch but joins the energy of the attacker's force. She might step to the side, lightly take the adversary's arm, and move with him. By blending her movement with his, she protects herself, and the opponent saves face. The master accomplishes this without kicking, taunting, or sucker punching the opponent. [B head] A Paradox Resistance is part of any desired change. When you want something new, resistance comes up. I write this chapter a few days after New Year’s. I am staying away from my health club because I know that all the cardio and weight machines will be in use. All floor space will be covered with brand new Spandex outfits. I’ll wait until February when all this will change. The people who made strong New Year’s resolutions to get in shape will realize that they moved to action (Roll Out on the cycle) without thinking through some of the forces that could work against this new goal. Having to get up an hour and a half earlier. And having to go to bed earlier. And having to start eating tofu instead of Bud’s Big Heart Attack Burger with bacon and brie. The New Year’s enthusiasm put them out ahead of themselves on the cycle. It is possible, even likely, that personal and organizational changes put what we say we want into conflict with what may really want, say to sleep in and eat Cheetos. This tension between want and resistance is has kept psychologists busy for decades.

Comment [H2]: Seems like we may be using the pronoun she too much. If you agree, please change this one to he

Comment [H3]: I changed this snetence to take out immunity to change since I am not describing their work at this point

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The paradox is that the desire to get in shape and the desire to eat what you like and sleep until noon are at war with each other. Affirmations—“I look like Brad Pitt,” “I am the Angelina of my neighborhood”— might work for a minute in getting you up out of bed. But those silly positive-thinking mantras wear out fast. I believe the people who do go to the gym regularly are aware of the competing forces at play. Every day when the alarm rings at 5 a.m. they need to decide anew to get up, even though another voice says, “Ah, sweet sleep, just another few minutes.” This same pull between what we say we want and what we really want occurs in organizational change. In later chapters I will discuss ways to bring resistance out into the open. We don't do this for its own sake, but in the belief that when enough attention and respect is paid to it, resistance can turn to support. Full awareness of the desire to sleep for another 30 minutes and the reasons why that is so appealing begins to allow us to see options. This is the Paradoxical Theory of Change at play. [B head] A Dancing Lesson The transformation from resistance to support can occur if we are willing to be part of the process. As we learn about the reasons why others resist us, we can be influenced. We begin to see the subtle interplay as they resist, we react, they resist anew. We now have a choice: we can keep sparring, or we can dance. If we choose the dance, we move back and forth, one influencing the other, until it becomes difficult to recall who resisted and who initiated. We can influence the resistance side of the circle only if we are willing to enter it and learn from it. This means giving up our certainty. It requires suspending disbelief. The big lesson is that resistance occurs in the relationship between those other people and us. There are no born resistors. People react in response to something we do. They may lean back with fear, concern, and confusion, or they may lean in with excitement, wanting to know more and discovering how they can join this parade. And we, in turn, are leaning in or leaning away in response to the other person. It’s movement back and forth. It’s a dance with both partners leading and following.

DESINGER CONSIDER KEEPING THS PREVISOUS PP WHERE IT IS BUT ADING IT AS A SIDEBAR PULLOUT AS WELL. [A head] WHY PEOPLE RESIST YOU2

There is resistance and there is resistance. Although some situations are so deeply embedded in organizations that cooperation seems impossible, most situations are not that intractable. Unfortunately, the idea of resistance is so powerful that it may cloud your judgment, making it difficult to distinguish minor criticism from full-blown animosity. The more you know about why people resist, the more options you have for avoiding it or turning it into support.

There are three reasons why people resist change.

Comment [H4]: I added the word up

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[A head] LEVEL 1: I DON’T GET IT

Level 1 involves facts, figures, and ideas. It is the world of thinking and rational action. It is the world of presentations, diagrams, and logical arguments. PowerPoint, for instance, is a fine Level 1 tool, but its usefulness is usually limited to Level 1 issues.

Level 1 resistance may come from

• Lack of information

• Disagreement over the interpretation of the data

• Lack of exposure to critical information

• Confusion over what it all means You may believe you can convince others by stating the situation from your own vantage point. A number of years ago I was in the market for a laptop computer. My only resistance to buying was minor: can I get what I need at a reasonable cost? Not knowing a lot about the workings of computers, I tuned out quickly when people launched into talk of bits and bytes. After several exasperating encounters with computer salespeople, I entered a store near my office with some trepidation. I assumed I would hear the same intimidating barrage of technical jargon, but this salesman was different. He asked what I wanted to use the laptop for. It was so simple, but no one had asked me that question before. I told him I needed to do word processing and send email. He seemed surprised. "That's it? That's all you need? Then this is what you want." He showed me a fairly inexpensive machine and assured me it would do what I wanted. No talk of esoteric computer stuff; he limited his remarks to addressing my questions in language I understood. I didn't shop around—I bought that laptop. The salesman did what so few of us do very well, and that was to listen and speak my language.

[B head] Risks at Level 1

Giving people information is the most common way organizations try to deal with resistance. Many make the mistake of thinking that all resistance is Level 1. Just give people more facts and figures and they’ll see the light. They hold more meetings and make more PowerPoint presentations when something completely different may be called for. That’s where Levels 2 and 3 come into play. Left unattended, Level 1 resistance can intensify. For example, if you push to Get Started or for Roll Out while people are still questioning your sanity, they will dig in even harder. A common fantasy is that once others see how good the change will be, they will move quickly around the cycle and join in. But you must ask yourself, when was the last time that happened? You must deal with the resistance as soon as you recognize it or else run

Comment [H5]: I added these words

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the risk of allowing it to deepen. Most people fear dealing with resistance at any level. So even a simple Level 1 challenge like “We don't have enough staff to do that” may make you apoplectic. The slightest opposition may feel like a personal attack. You ascribe evil motives to the person who dared challenge you and respond with an inappropriate knee-jerk reaction (covered in chapter 4). You have now entered the world of Level 2 and 3.

[A head] LEVEL 2: I DON’T LIKE IT

Level 2 resistance is an emotional reaction to the change. Blood pressure rises, adrenaline flows, pulse rate increases. It is based on fear. People are afraid that this change will cause them to lose face, status, control—maybe even their jobs.

Level 2 emotions are not wishy-washy. You can’t tell people to “just get over it” and expect them to respond with, “Wow, thanks, I needed that.” Level 2 runs deep. When we experience Level 2 ourselves, it can feel as if our very survival were at stake.

Communicating is difficult at this level. When adrenaline shoots through our bodies, we shift into a fight-flight mode (or perhaps we are immobilized like a deer in headlights). Our ability to listen shuts down. No matter how terrific your presentation is, once people hear the word “downsizing” their minds and bodies go elsewhere. This reaction is uncontrollable. They are not choosing to ignore you; it’s just that they’ve got more important things on their minds—like their own survival.

Organizations usually don’t encourage people to respond emotionally, so employees limit their questions and comments to polite Level 1 issues like “How much will this cost?” or “What’s the timeline?” These questions may make it appear like they are in synch with you, but they are not. They are asking Level 1 questions with a hope that you’ll read between the lines and address their Level 2 or Level 3 concerns. And they may not even be aware that they are operating on such a basic emotional level.

[B head] The Risk of Level 2 You may try to deal with deeper levels of resistance by using Level 1 strategies, but such superficial approaches cannot reach people's concerns and yearnings. Personal fear and yearning are not in the vocabulary of most business organizations. As you get close to these emotionally charged feelings, your tendency is to run, or to blame those who resist—not because they are resisting but because you cannot imagine engaging them at so deep a level. Meeting people at Level 2 takes courage. During one meeting I attended, a CEO said that he had just ordered his head of human resources to lay off a number of staff—and that "as soon as he gets that done, I'm going to fire his ass too," I believe his crass insensitivity masked an inability to make human contact with his staff. He had to send an emissary to do his dirty work and then, to isolate himself from the pain, "fire his ass" as well. (Note that he couldn't even dignify the person with a name, only a body part.)

Comment [H6]: I added the word now

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In contrast, a plant manager was brought in to close down a failing operation. He did it with such transparency about what was going on that people gave him a standing ovation. He knew that they would be experiencing a lot of deep emotions like loss and fear for their own futures. He didn’t sugarcoat or deny reality. He treated people with the respect they deserved. If you allow yourself to stay removed from the human toll, you cannot build support for your ideas. In the first example above, those remaining in their jobs will undoubtedly fear that the same thing could happen to them.

TOOLKIT ICON: For quick Podcast intro to research on Level 2 reactions visit www.tipsforleadingchange.com and search for “level 2”

[A head] LEVEL 3: I DON’T LIKE YOU

Maybe they do like you, but they don’t trust or have confidence in your leadership. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, but lack of attention to Level 3 is a major reason why resistance flourishes and changes fail.

Your relationship with others who have a stake in the change matters quite a bit. But this is seldom talked about. Books on change often talk about some strategies and plans, but most of this advice fails to recognize the fundamental importance of trust in leading change successfully.

In Level 3 resistance, people are not resisting the idea; they may even love the idea. They are resisting you. Maybe their history with you makes them wary. Perhaps they are afraid that you won’t see things through and this will be another “flavor of the month” scenario. Or that you won’t have the courage to make the tough decisions. Or that you’ll be rotated to another assignment before this change ever gets rolling. Or that you are nothing but a yes man for the big boss.

Perhaps it’s not you, but rather it’s that people may resist who you represent. The moment they hear that someone from IT, HR, headquarters, or management is coming to “help” they get skeptical and afraid (Level 2 mixes with Level 3).

Whatever the reasons for Level 3 resistance, you can’t afford to ignore it. It can make or break you.

Comment [H7]: Added the word own. Maybe that’s redundant

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Level 3 concerns don’t have to be true in order for them to hinder your ability to get things done. If people believe that you can’t be trusted, they’ll act on that belief until proven otherwise.

Historic animosity can meet conflicting values and vision. Think about the centuries old conflicts in the Middle East, Northern Ireland, the Cold War in the decades after World War II, and the pro-life versus pro-choice conflict. Progress when animosity is deeply embedded can take decades, even centuries, to turn fierce opposition into any semblance of common concern. But, witness some of the strides made in Northern Ireland and South Africa in the past twenty years, and you can see that progress, though difficult, is possible. The good news for leaders in organizations is that no matter how deeply embedded the animosity is, it’s probably not nearly as entrenched as the situations I just named. But, it does take work and an amazing amount of persistence. Turning Level 3 resistance into support can be extremely difficult. Don’t expect a speech or some dramatic event on your part to turn things around. You’ve got to prove that you are worthy of their trust. That occurs when people believe that you have their best interests at heart. That takes time and skills that many leaders don’t possess. The good news is that you can learn how to be more trustworthy.

[B head] The Risk at Level 3 Anything can go wrong when you walk into the Level 3 minefield. Trust is so low and the animosity so deep that the slightest misstep can set progress back months or years. It is especially tempting to quit mid-journey and revert to something out of the Attila the Hun playbook. Don’t do it. Better not to have attempted anything than to have to use force against the other parties.8 Also, it is hard to get good information about what people really think of you. People want you to be in a fog of ignorance. Samuel Goldywn, the famous movie mogul and co- founder of MGM, once said, “I want people to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.” If you’re the boss, people have a great incentive to lie to you. [A head] THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THE THREE LEVELS

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The three levels of resistance play off of each other, one influencing the other. A mistake at Level 1 can have an impact on Level 2 fears and Level 3 mistrust. That’s why I asked an artist to create the icon you see above. It depicts the vibrant and sometimes messy interplay among the levels. And actions that begin to build trust—even in a small way—have a positive impact on people’s emotional reactions and their ability to hear what you have to say. These levels are always in flux, sometimes moving in your favor, sometimes not. Effective leaders I consult with are pretty savvy about where things stand with people who they want to influence.

[B head] Combining the Positive Side of Level 1, 2 and 3 In The Diffusion of Innovations, Everett Rogers identified five important factors in getting new ideas across to others.

1. RELATIVE ADVANTAGE. People need to see how change is better than the status quo. Information systems departments that set out to build strong computer systems often succeed by showing their companies why an investment today will pay off later. 2. COMPATIBILITY. People must see the link to the old way of doing things. For many years, the late Felix Grant was the preeminent jazz disc jockey in Washington, D.C. Radio station managers generally thought that jazz was too cerebral or ethnic for broad audiences. Grant realized that most station managers knew very little about music, so he called his show The Album Sound: "I dealt with them in the beginning by never using the word 'jazz.' I would play Sinatra, who was very big then, but I would play the hipper things that nobody else was playing . . . and the non-jazz fan for the most part wouldn't really know that it was jazz. He just heard good music, music that wasn't played much anywhere else. And it worked out very well. They sold a lot of spots and the station was happy." 3. SIMPLICITY. As excited as you may be by the new idea, you must keep it simple. I believe that one of the reasons why Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites have been so successful is that they are easy to use. In the earlier days of the

Comment [FDC8]: Is this an extract from Rogers’ book (quoted)?

Comment [H9R8]: YES, THIS ENTIRE LIST OF ITEMS IS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM HIS BOOK

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Internet, online communities were cumbersome affairs limited to people with the stamina to find ways to navigate the arcane instructions of these sites. 4. EASY TO TEST. People need a chance to experiment with the new ways: What if I don't like it? What if it doesn't work? Rogers cites a 1943 study that found that all the Iowa farmers who adopted hybrid corn used it first on a trial basis.3

5. OBSERVABILITY. It's easier to accept something new after you've seen it in action. Many organizations, before adopting new technology in management systems, send staff on field trips to see how others are using it. During these trips, people can "kick tires" and ask tough questions. Rogers describes how people learn to accept innovations. Substitute "major change" for "innovation" and his comments are equally relevant. Although people do pay attention to objective studies or scientific evaluations, most people adopt an innovation only after seeing how it works for other people just like them.

Widespread adoption would have been much slower without this trial period.

On the other hand, although people are most likely to accept innovations from people who are like them, most new ideas come from people who are different. It is their difference that lets them see things from another vantage point. It would be nice if they were alike in every way except the new idea, but they are usually quite different. "They simply do not talk the same language," writes Rogers. That’s why leaders must find common ground with those they hope to influence.

Resistance gets our attention because it is a force working against our projects and sometimes our dreams, but we may take support for granted. I urge you to consider thinking about the three levels throughout the life of a change. When things are working well, stop for a moment and think about why people are interested—even excited—about your project. You can learn a lot from what you are doing right. It is far easier to build on what’s working well than trying to correct what’s failing, as you will see in part two of this book.

TOOLKIT ICON: For quick Podcast introduction to Rogers’ pioneering work www.tipsforleadingchange.com and search for “Rogers”

[A head] HOW TO RECOGNIZE RESISTANCE

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Archaeological remains show that when Pompeii was buried by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in A.D. 79, villagers were caught completely by surprise. Presumably no one saw the devastating earthquake of A.D. 62 as a sign that the old volcano was still active; as a result, two thousand people were killed in the eruption.1 Today, we know the signs of an impending eruption. It is important as well to know the signs of resistance; otherwise, you risk becoming a victim of the blast. But spotting resistance only lets you know that something is going on. That observation usually doesn’t let you know if it is Level 1, Level 2, Level 3, or a combination of the levels at play. (In chapter 9, I’ll discuss ways to find out what’s behind the resistance you are observing.) Here’s what to look for:

[B head] Confusion Even after you have tried many times to explain the new program, people still ask basic questions: "Why are we doing this?" "Who am I going to report to?" "How much is this going to cost?" "Where did you say you wanted to build that?" Assuming that you did explain things clearly, this confusion is one form of resistance. People are not lying to you. Resistance creates an aural fog that makes it difficult for people (ourselves included) to hear what's being said. Our own confusion may make it difficult for us to hear others when they are saying things we don’t want to hear. And that just adds to the confusion. Sometimes confusion is simply confusion. At other times, it provides protection from taking in information people don’t want to hear. My Suggestion: Patiently answer their questions for the twentieth time, but realize that something deeper is probably at play. My guess is that it’s not safe to ask them the burning Level 2 or Level 3 questions. You’ll need to find another way to learn what those concerns are.

[B head] Immediate Criticism Even before people hear all the details, often they express their disapproval. Groucho Marx once sang, "Whatever it is—I'm against it." This instantaneous negative reaction to you and your ideas can be maddening. Have you ever worked in an organization where people routinely oppose the slightest change? Even before the idea is fully explained, they begin mounting their criticism. It is as if they have been there before and know exactly what to expect. By the way, this immediate criticism can be delivered softly and with great civility. When individuals or groups criticize too quickly, it is likely that they have been burned in the past and have developed a shell of resistance. They may feel that if they allow anything through that shell, they will be hurt again.

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My Suggestion: Assume that the immediate criticism is masking a Level 2 or Level 3 concern. Instead of being angry at their quick retorts, be grateful that they just gave you a hint that you need to dig deeper.

[B head] Denial People put their heads in the sand and refuse to see that things are different. Often, the more you try to justify, the deeper they embed themselves. In his PBS series Healing and the Mind, Bill Moyers spoke with a cardiologist who refused to admit that he had a serious heart condition. For years he refused even to look at his electrocardiogram. Our wish to not see what's in front of us can be extraordinarily strong—so strong that even a doctor who specializes in the heart won't admit the truth to himself.

Denial can cause the leader to not hear legitimate concerns about the brilliant ideas they have just developed.

Unless someone is consciously trying to manipulate you, deflection is a form of denial. People keep changing the subject. Meetings flit from topic to topic. Just as you start to talk about something of substance, someone brings up another, perhaps equally important topic, and all attention shifts to it. Like all other forms of resistance, deflection is a way people have of protecting themselves. Changing the subject is like raising a shield to stop an incoming arrow. Deflection can be unconscious and not a strategic choice. Managers in a small manufacturing plant routinely used discussions of their budget as a way of avoiding talking about other issues that affected their work.4 It was much safer to talk about numbers than about the things they were doing that inhibited each others’ productivity.

My Suggestion: Realize that denial and deflection often come from the fact that what you are suggesting is just too scary to look at directly. Avoid going into Level 1 oversell. Try to appreciate that their denial is sending you a message.

[B head] Malicious Compliance People smile and appear to go along with the decision. It is only later, when they drag their feet, that you learn the truth. The president of a small company was excited about initiating new management procedures. He was an enthusiastic champion, and no one wanted (or dared) burst his bubble. People agreed with him in public. It took months before he realized that managers were doing only the minimum necessary to keep this change alive. Malicious compliance is often done with full awareness. People usually know that they are trying to trick you into believing that all is well. As a leader, you employ malicious compliance when you nod in mock agreement during

Comment [FDC10]: Does this need a fn?

Comment [H11R10]: I hope not. I vchecked and we didn’t have one in th efirst edition of wall

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a meeting with the headquarters staff. As you nod like a bobble head doll, you know that you are doing that just to get them out of your office and back on a plane.

My Suggestion: This is a Level 3 issue. Malicious compliance stems from either a lack of trust in you or who you represent, or a desire to not hurt your feelings. They may like you a lot, but don’t want to let you down to your face, so they lie. One again, be grateful for getting that news, and begin to find out what’s behind the “everything is going great, boss” responses.

One way to do this is to ask the following question: “I’m glad to hear things are going so well. How did you solve that problem with the contabulator bearings?” Or, “Great, let me see what you’ve come up with.” You need to listen for substance and not just the words you want to hear.

[B head] Sabotage Outright sabotage is usually easy to spot. People take strong actions that are specifically intended to stop you from proceeding. Software strangely breaks down; a machine malfunctions at an inopportune time; messages don't get delivered. If there is a positive side to sabotage, it is that there is little doubt that someone or some group is strongly opposed to your plans. Similar to malicious compliance, sabotage is frequently a conscious act. Think of the French Resistance during World War II. But people can also sabotage without being aware that they are doing so. Even leaders can sabotage. Think about those times when you “inadvertently” forgot to invite someone to an important meeting or didn’t notice them as they tried to get your attention just as you were about to take a vote. Sabotage comes in many forms.

My Suggestion: Take sabotage very seriously. It is risky for people to put their careers on the line by throwing boots into the machinery (which is one possible origin of the term sabotage). You’ve got to find a way to get the Level 2 and Level 3 issues out in the open.

[B head] Easy Agreement People agree with you without much criticism. On the surface, this might seem ideal. You present your plan, people applaud wildly, so it seems to be time to move ahead. Although they may sincerely wish to go along, their quick acceptance could spell disaster later, when they realize what the changes mean. They have swallowed your message whole without digesting it, like crazed young lovers who vow eternal devotion after the first date. The difference between easy agreement and malicious compliance is less in the action and more in the intent. People who give easy agreement truly believe the idea has merit. It is only later that they realize the implications of their hasty Las Vegas wedding. ADC Kentrox, a manufacturer of telecommunications equipment, was so eager to implement ISO 9000 standards that "they almost destroyed their company." They followed the ISO guidelines diligently, without adapting them to their organization, and

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created a massive bureaucratic nightmare. One senior product manager was ready to resign, believing that this "monstrosity" would kill the company. Knowing that the red tape would add months to projects, managers ignored the company's new 100-page document on ISO standards. According to David Kenney, director of quality, "We had not considered our company's situation: We are a small, market-leading company with 250 employees. We needed flexible, quickly implemented procedures—the opposite of what we had created in our attempt to please ISO'S auditors. Armed with these conclusions, we restructured the new-product introduction process to include decentralization of responsibilities and a flexible approach to project management."4

My Suggestion: Challenge people. You might say, “I am delighted that you are so excited about the idea. But before we rush ahead, lets discuss the implications of a possible change on budget, staffing, and how we do our work.” This conversation causes all of you to chew your food and to consider possible consequences of taking some action. Then if you get agreement, it is more likely to be real support rather than easy agreement.

[B head] Silence You present your idea, the lights come up, and you look out on a corporate Mount Rushmore—chiseled stone faces giving no hint of what they think. Do people agree? Are they too stunned to speak? Are they afraid to talk? Silence is a difficult form of resistance to address because it gives you so little to work with. And, of course, since silence sometimes does indicate support, it is hard to know what to make of it. My Suggestion: As a general guideline, never assume that silence means acceptance. In your own desire to get things moving you may be tempted to make that faulty assump- tion, only to learn later that no one was with you. Better to slow down and find out what's behind the silence.

[B head] In-Your-Face Criticism With no holds barred, these people tell you exactly what's on their minds. They often have a reputation for their impolitic and impolite manner. I remember Joe, who worked for a government agency. His boss hated it when he showed up for meetings. Joe just said it like he saw it. He did not understand the phrase “career limiting move.” He just lit into his boss. As hard as it was for my client to listen to this guy, Joe was saying things that no one else had the guts to say. You may not like it, but the Joe’s of the world can be invaluable. As a leader, an in-your-face approach might be satisfying but it will usually get you in trouble. It builds stronger opposition to you and your ideas. I speak from personal experience. Years ago I conducted a leadership development seminar for government managers. One man in the course criticized everything I said. I could see others roll their eyes when he spoke, so I thought it safe to go on the offensive. I was brilliant; Hawkeye Pierce was never so facile. My retorts were like rapiers. Surely this would shut him up and endear me to the hearts of others.

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I was wrong. People sided with him. After all, he was one of their own, and I was the outsider. I spent the next two days digging myself out of the hole that I had dug for myself. My Suggestion: You may want to dismiss their comments because of their grating and belligerent manner, but that would be a mistake. Unlike the others, these people are telling you the truth as they see it. Often they express what other, milder souls are afraid to say to you. Since others may not respect them, you could be tempted to lash out to make them shudder with your withering sarcasm. Don't. Avoid brilliant comebacks. They just make it unsafe for others to speak. It is important to keep refining your skills at recognizing resistance. The more skilled you are at seeing the face of resistance in its many forms, the quicker you will be able to address it. [A head] BRIDGING THE GAP Be able to recognize what prompts the shifts from support to resistance and vice versa. It is easiest to start by watching other people work with each other. It’s not only easier, it’s more fun. I am writing this in an airport which is a hotbed for tempers flaring as flights get delayed, bags end up on some undiscovered planet, and precious seat assignments go the “wrong” people. Awareness is key. In chapter 11, “How to Develop Mastery,” I provide suggestions for ways to learn to work with resistance. But, for now, you can learn a lot just by watching. The next chapter covers knee-jerk reactions. These are the things that can kill otherwise wonderful plans. They are the things we do before we think. DESIGNER: ADD SIDEBAR AND INTERVIEW ANYWHERE IN CHAPTER

The human brain is, in large part, a machine for winning arguments, a machine for convincing others that its owner is in the right—and thus a machine for convincing the owner of the same thing. The brain is like a good lawyer: given any set of interests to defend, it sets about convincing the world of their moral and logical worth, regardless of whether they in fact have any of either.

—Robert Wright The Moral Animal5

TAKING THEIR SIDE

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AN INTERVIEW WITH PETER BLOCK Peter Block is the author of many best-selling management books (Flawless Consulting, The Empowered Manager, and Stewardship) and a highly regarded organizational consultant. He has a unique ability to state clearly what others wish they had said. I have long admired his thinking on the subject of resistance.

RM: Peter, how do you handle resistance?

PB: I don't believe that resistance is a problem or something to be overcome, so part of how I handle it is how I think about it. We rarely experience our own resistance—so we don't want somebody to overcome it. All the combative language about resistance only intensifies it: If we overcome it, get around it, reduce it, deal with it—all those verbs indicate that it is a problem to be solved. Resistance is simply a reluctance to choose. We have just not made up our mind whether to yield and surrender to what's asked of us or to keep on as is. Our inability to choose is an emotional issue usually stuck on questions like: “What's the point? How optimistic am I about the future and what it holds? How vulnerable do I feel at this moment?”

RM: What do you do when you face people who resist you?

PB: I say, "How can 1 take their side?" They must be acting with good cause, with good reason, so I support the resistance. I support people not making a choice—I can also live with whatever choice they make. The problem occurs when I have a stake in their actions. Then I need to ask myself, "Why is that a problem? Who am I to say what they ought to be doing? Who is to say that I am the enlightened one?"

RM: How do you support a client's resistance?

PB: I exaggerate. I love the edge. If people are fearful, I reframe their fear in life and death terms. If people are having trouble influencing others, I say, "What if there is no way in the world they will ever go along with you?" Somehow in the extreme people can let go of their caution, their judgment, their ambivalence. I think extreme language dramatizes choice. And I make light of what first seems

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heavy. I might say, "So, what's the problem? You're going to die anyway. Why don't you just decide what position you want to be in when it happens?"

RM: You've said that you love the phrase "what you see is what you get." How come?

PB: It makes me responsible for the universe and it puts my life back in my hands. It forces me to question my view of events and gives me an enormous amount of choice over how I experience the world. I like this idea. Someday I hope to experience it.

RM: Any words for those people who think all this is garbage and want to overcome resistance?

PB: I'd say, "Do you want to win or do you want to work things out? Maybe you're reading the wrong book. Maybe you should read You Are What You Eat."

1 Alex Gibney, 1986 Paradise tossed; how a chance to save American capitalism was sabotaged at Eastern The Free Library (June 1, 1986), http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Paradise tossed; how a chance to save American capitalism was...-a04262001 (accessed March 10, 2010). This site includes a lengthy article on the history of Eastern Airlines under Lorenzo. It is worth reading.

2 This section on the three levels is adapted from my e-book, Introduction to Change Without Migraines (Arlington, Va.: Maurer & Associates, 2009).

3 Everett M. Rogers, The Diffusion of Innovations, 3rd ed. (New York: Free Press, 1983), 32. Reprinted with permission of the publisher.

4 David Kenney, “Quality Standards That Can Destroy Quality,” Wall Street Journal, November 11, 1993.

5 Robert Wright, The Moral Animal (New York: Pantheon, 1994), 280.