Sociology-Divorce and Family Violence

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In earlier times, family violence was largely invisible. In recent In earlier times, family violence was largely invisible. In recent

decades there has been more recognition of the problems and study

of the causes and consequences. Nevertheless, family violence

remains hidden much of the time. The fact that it is hidden reflects the

fact that vulnerable populations do not have the ability to expose the

perpetrator or access effective help from the larger society.

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As a form of direct violence, family violence involves deliberate injury to the

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integrity of human life. This injury can be physical and/or psychological.

•Family violence can include restrictions on the activities, and even the

thoughts, of the victims, and actual physical constraints.

•Brutality includes battering and other forms of maltreatment, torture, rape,

etc.

•Homicide involve the illegal taking of a life.

•American society and other industrialized societies are patriarchal. In fact

patriarchy has been the norm for most societies. In earlier societies, the

patriarchal head of the household had tremendous power over the other

members of the family. For example, in British Common Law and in the

American colonies there was a “rule of thumb” which stated that a man could

not beat his wife with a stick whose circumference was larger than that of his

thumb. In fact, homicide was often an option and/or a reality. The

persistence of such practices as “honor killings” and female genital

mutilation reflect the persistence of this level of patriarchy in some societies

and families.

•Power implies inequality. To the extent that power and control form a part

of the self-concept of the head of the household or the breadwinner, we see

a tendency for that power to be abused, especially when the abuser feels

inadequate or when their power is threatened.

•Unequal power relationships reflect the norms and values of a society.

Ideas about the appropriate roles to play and the behaviors associated with

these roles result in the creation and perpetuation of relative powerlessness

in certain categories of the population. In addition, the victimization of such

categories tends to be invisible because they have little or not recourse

against the abusive behavior of the dominant member(s) of the family.

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This abuse of power and control and the invisibility associated with it create several particularly vulnerable populations, categories of people. Children several particularly vulnerable populations, categories of people. Children are, of course, the most vulnerable. Human beings remain dependent upon their caretakers for many years after their birth. They must have their physical needs met and learn the skills necessary to function in human society. They rely upon their caretakers to teach them the skills necessary to form an identity and to define and explain the world around them. Social scientists have observed that socialization of children is never perfect, that parenting is a challenge, and that it is all too easy to create a sociopath or a psychopath by abusing and neglecting children.

The process of socialization shapes all aspects of a child’s development

•Their “reality” is socially constructed. An abused or neglected child has no way of knowing that this kind of treatment is not “normal.” Their reality is based on their own immediate circumstances and they do not have the resources or the opportunity to learn about healthier alternatives.

•Their own sense of self is warped by abuse and neglect.

•Aspects of their own personalities reflect their experiences and their view of, experiences, with the world. According to Eric Ericson, children learn early in life to be trusting vs. mistrusting, autonomous vs. doubting, to display initiative vs. guilt even before we leave home to go to school. And, according to G. H. Mead, we learn the majority of this from our “significant others” whom we depend upon and imitate.

They experience both abuse and neglect.

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Children are the victims of both abuse and neglect

•Physical abuse results from the power of the caregivers and societal

attitudes about discipline as a part of our childrearing practices. (The old

saying “spare the rod and spoil the child reflects the ideas about discipline

that were so commonplace in earlier generations.) And, if a child has been

abused, they are much more likely to become an abusive parent as well. It

seems “natural” and “normal” to them. This is referred to as the “cycle of

violence.”

•Emotional abuse reflects a serious abuse of power. This kind of abuse is

most often used to control children. It seriously impacts their sense of

security and their ability to develop the skills and initiative to function

effectively in the society.

•Sexual abuse of children is the most hidden form of abuse. As with all

types of abuse, it is socially unacceptable and, it is also illegal. However,

young victims of this type of abuse are threatened with harm and

encouraged to blame themselves for their own victimization. We talk a lot

about “stranger danger” in this society but much of the sexual abuse of

children is at the hands of family members.

•Children are also especially vulnerable to neglect which can easily result in

a failure to thrive.

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As spouses and domestic partners, women are the most vulnerable to

abuse. Patriarchy and sexism make women more vulnerable to all kinds of

abuse; emotional, physical, sexual and economic. In fact, they are often

blamed for their victimization by other family members and by the society as

a whole. It is only in recent decades, for example, that marital rape has

been recognized as a crime. The outcomes of this violent victimization

include both physical and mental illnesses.

Women are much more likely to be the victims of domestic violence

including:

•Emotional abuse

•Battering

•Rape

•Homicide

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Physical abuse can result in

•Tremendous stress which impact the victim’s health an longevity,

•Very serious injuries which facilitate further intimidation and abuse, and

•Permanent disability—injuries and ongoing abuse can result in permanent

disability. There can be both physical and psychological disabilities as

outcomes.

Psychological harm includes:

•Perpetual fear of further violence which inhibits functioning.

•Learned helplessness from the emotional trauma which creates both

intellectual and emotional impairment, and

•Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which means that the victim may re-

experience, relive, the traumatic events, be numbed by the trauma, and

have an exaggerated startle response. Additional symptoms include a high

levels of emotional arousal and avoidance responses, memory loss and

cognitive confusion.

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•Jealousy and possessiveness are dangerous, especially if they don’t want

you to have friends, check up on you, and won’t accept breaking up.

•Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all of the

decisions and refusing to listen to your opinions,

•Is scary; you worry about how he will react to things you say or do,

threatens you, uses or own weapons,

•Is violent; has a history of fighting, loses temper easily and quickly, and

brags about mistreating others,

•Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary around sex. Thinks of women as

sex objects.

•Manipulative and uses guilt to perpetuate the relationship or sexual

encounters, “If you loved me you would….,” too serious about the

relationship too fast.

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•Substance abuse increases the likelihood of domestic violence. If the

person you are going out with pressures you to use these substance, there

is an even greater likelihood of abuse,

•Blaming the victim is a strong warning sign.

•As series of bad relationships, especially when they blame the other person

for all of the problems or says that, in general, “Girls just don’t understand

me.”

•Very patriarchal or macho beliefs are a warning sign. This is especially true

if they believe that females should be passive and submissive.

•Hitting, pushing, choking, restraining, or any other type of physical abuse is

an obvious warning sign.

•Warnings about the person or concerns about your safety from family and

friends are very important warning signs.

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In addition to physical and sexual violence, and abuser may employ a variety

of techniques display their power an maintain control over their victim.

These include:

•Intimidation; instilling fear using looks, gestures, actions, smashing things,

destroying her property, abusing pets, displaying weapons,

•Emotional abuse; putting her down, making her feel bad, calling her names,

making her think she is crazy or feel guilty, humiliating her,

•Isolation; controlling her actions, including her contact with others and using

jealousy to justify the abuse,

•Minimizing, denying and blaming; making light of the abuse and not taking

her concerns seriously, shifting responsibility for the abuse, denying that it

happened or saying that the victim caused the abuse (“brought it on

herself”).

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Additional techniques of power and control include:

•Using the children against her; making her feel guilty about the children,

using the children to relay messages, using visitation to harass her,

threatening to take the children away,

•Using male privilege; treating her like a servant, making all the big

decisions, defining their roles and acting like the “boss,”

•Using economic abuse; preventing her from getting or keeping a job (or

going on with her education), making her ask for money, giving her an

allowance, not letting her know about family finances or have access to

family income,

•Using coercion and threats; making and/or carrying out threats to do

something to hurt her, threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report

her to welfare, making her drop charges or do illegal things.

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Abused spouses stay in the violent relationship for a variety of reasons:

These include:

•Economic reasons—they do not have the resources to leave—and, the less

money the victim has, the greater the likelihood of battering,

•Fear—statistics show that a victim is at greatest risk when they are trying to

leave the abuser and end the relationship

•Relationship reasons—the victim

•Feels a sense of commitment to the marriage,

•Believes that they can improve the relationship

•Doesn’t want to hurt the partner, the children, or perhaps their own

parents,

•Feels that they will lose the time invested in the relationship,

•Experiences intermittent rewards from the relationship,

•Fears loneliness and isolation, and

•Believes that there is a lack of social support.

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The elderly are often victims of family violence. Their vulnerability is based upon a number of factors. One aspect of culture change that is particularly important is number of factors. One aspect of culture change that is particularly important is that our society is becoming increasingly youth oriented. Since elders do not have the respect and authority they once had, they are more vulnerable to abuse. Factors which contribute to an increased likelihood of victimization include

•A decline in their physical functioning including such things as strength, eyesight, coordination, etc.

•Increasing social and emotional isolation which results from a loss of family members and friends and the loss of “meaningful” roles in the society. Retirement has often been called an “empty” role in this society because we recognize the legitimacy of the work role but do not offer respectable alternatives to this role once a person has retired.

•Many elderly people, especially women, do not have adequate economic resources. The less you have earned during your working years, the less likely you are to be able to survive on the fixed income you receive after retirement.

•The ageism in our society also results in spatial isolation. This is reflected in such things as retirement communities, life-care communities, and elderly housing. In fact, the elderly are aware of the negative stereotypes associated with aging and may choose to limit their outside contacts in order to avoid potential embarrassment and/or victimization. This isolation often means that their lives are essentially invisible to the larger society. They are, thus, much more vulnerable to abuse and neglect by other family members.

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